“Well, I wasn’t really embarrassed until you tried to steal the old man’s chocolate,” Bro confesses to me in a really low voice. We’re at the ball. She doesn’t want her coworkers at the table to hear us. But, she exaggerates. I didn’t try to steal his chocolate. It doesn’t count as stealing if you do it in plain sight and you make a joke like, I’m going to take your Chocolate.
“He thought it was funny!” I say with a smile.
“He’s old,” she says as her eyes sneak over to the 72 year old man across our table. “He’s going to die soon. He thinks everything in life is funny right now.”
I almost spit out my wine because I’m giggling, but lucky for me (and for Bro, too, I guess), I held it in.
I have a wonderful time at the ball. I manage to keep my reputation, and Bro’s, intact … although, half way through dinner, one of her coworkers jokes, “Bro. Control your guest.” It’s Matt. I’ve met him several times before. He’s funny and he’s got a really dry sense of humor. Later in the night I corner him.
“You look like you’re having fun,” he says.
“Yeah,” I say as I play with the sparkles on my dress. “But, I better cool it a little.”
“Why?” he asks as he looks around. “The party is just beginning.”
“Well …” I stand closer to him and smile devilishly. “Bro says that I’m embarrassing her.” (I only tell him this because I know Bro will think this is funny when he eventually tells this back to her at work tomorrow … later today. It’s after midnight.)
He laughs out loud. “I’m sure she’s joking.”
“You’re only saying that because you’re not the one getting pinched and kicked under the table with the force of a god,” now I exaggerate. “She’s got strong legs, that Bro.”
He laughs even harder.
I joke and dance with Bro and her coworkers the whole night. They’re a lot of fun, that bunch. The night eventually ends, and I don’t see famous or even semi-famous people. (There might have been a couple of semi-major names from certain circles in the New York scene, but no national celebrities or anything like that.)
I’m really glad that I wore the sparkly dress. I got compliments on it as well as my purse all night long. The bartender especially loved the dress. But, you should have worn red, he said. When I asked him why, he said, because everyone else is in black and white and you’re flamin’ red hot tonight!
“Oh,” I say as I smile and walk away from the bar with my drink in hand, “but sparkly blue hot is so much more original.”

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
all right.
now, i know i wouldn’t, but you not showing your face is KILLING me. i’m so curious to see what you look like, girl!
you cropping yourself, mid-smile, is just plain unfair … c’mon now.
_
that is a fabulous dress…
So are you saying if the diet were not in force that would not have worked as a pickup line?
Glad you had a good time. Was everyone else perfectly well behaved? Sounds like you were the life of the party.
Sounds like you had a good time… the dress looks good on you; I think the black cocktail dress would have been boring compared to that dress…
It is a faaaabulous dress….
You don’t look anything like your avatar!
miss anon: Sheesh, I didpost the dress. That counts for something. :)
surly girl: Danke!
raymond: Yeah, believe it or not, even without the Man Diet, I still would have walked away from the bartender.
mitch: Awww, thanks! :)
hanuman: Grazie!! :)
jay: No??? Funky brown chick on the left. Funky brown chick on the right. You don’t see the resemblance? :)
thanks for visiting again to the tigerwasteland. Can I post a link to your site on my blog? Some of my friends would fall in love with you, girlfriend!
already did, girlfriend, feel free to post a link to mine if you want.
… fine. FINE.
you just can’t give up that secret identity, eh? and here i was ready to give up mine … :P
_
tonito bandito: of course I don’t mind! I don’t have my list of favorite blogs posted yet, but you WILL be on the list when it’s posted. I LOVE the Tigerwasteland
Eye Candy!!!
surly girl: see my 10/07/05 post re: secret identity …. It’s only fun when no one knows; I would stop blogging if I were ever to be outed.
You’re wearing that dress, girl! ^5
Sweet! Sorry you didn’t see famous or semi-famous people, but that dress was smokin’ hot and you have that old guy a real thrill for sure!
berry: Thanks!!
mamachristy: Yeah, he seemed to have a good time, too. :)