Twins Are Scary
Twins* — only conjoined and identical, not fraternal — literally scare the shit out of me sometimes. (Stick with me here folks, I swear I’m not being an asshole.) Phobias, true phobias, are almost always the result of some random trigger at a young age. I believe this to be true because I vividly remember two triggers that contributed to the onset of my twinphobia: (1) the discovery of a photo in my mother’s wooden memory chest and (2) Hollywood.
First, the photo. I don’t remember how old I was at the time, but I was very young when I stumbled across a photo of two women joined at the head. My body trembled and my face contorted at the abomination. My first thought was who-are-these-people-and-why-does-my-mom-have-a-picture-of-them? I was confused because, at that age, the only two-headed ladies that I ever saw were probably cartoon aliens. So, my next thought was whatever the childhood equivalent of “oh-fuck!-we’ve-got-aliens-in-our-family!!!” is.
Now, Hollwood. When I was a little girl, I would watch really scary Hollywood horror flicks with my much older sister because I wanted to prove that I was a “big girl.” The Shining. Remember those two little twin girls? The hand-holding duo? Fucking scary. And, did you see Invasion of the Body Snatchers? Peapod people that look: Just. Like. You. That creeps me. So, after all those movies, when I first sighted real live identical twins roaming the earth (in the corridor of my elementary school to be exact) , I honestly thought that they were sinister and otherworldly. I know, the thought is completely irrational; all phobias are irrational.
While we are on the topic of twins, I just noticed a trend here: I thought that the first conjoined twins that I ever saw were extraterrestrials and I thought the same of the first identical twins as well. Maybe it’s the thought of aliens among us, not twins, per se, that scares me? I’ll have to give that one some thought. In the meantime, what about you; what are you afraid of? Heights? Closed spaces? Mice? Clowns?
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*DISCLAIMER: If you or someone that you know is a twin, please don’t take offense to my twinphobia. Phobias are very personal, and they are a reflection on the person with the phobia not the target. Chances are, if I met you one-on-one, I’d probably like you. But, if I met you and your twin at the same time and the two of you were holding hands and wearing the exact same outfit, I’d probably let out a blood-curdling scream and run in the other direction …
November 29th, 2005 at 12:55 am
Wow! Girlfriend.
I have twin 10 year old nephews. Fraternal not identical, so you are okay. But the connection is still f**king amazing.
It’s like you and I are meant to connect in some wierd sort of way. Fascinating!
November 29th, 2005 at 6:06 am
I have never watched The Shining all the way through. I scare easily. Those twins are very frightening. They’re so neat, and clean and perfect and still and creepy.
I have feelings of claustrophobia on occasion. I’m pretty sure that stems from when I was locked in a pitchblack attic room as a child because I drove my mother crazy (I could be such a pain in the ass – I’m not mommy bashing.) I was flipping (TV channels) and the intro to the older Everybody Loves Raymond, where he builds himself into the plastic play gym for his kids and couldn’t get out. I felt a sense of panic setting in and had to change the channel. If I needed an MRI, they’d have to totally sedate me or let me die.
Another wierd feeling I have is when I’m up some place really high, the top of a mountain, an observation tower and I look down, I feel a compelling urge to step off into space.
November 29th, 2005 at 7:29 am
tonito bandito: COME TO NEW YORK! :)
goldennib: Okay, seeeee, I’m not the only person that got freaked out by those twins in The Shining … “If I needed an MRI, they’d have to totally sedate me or let me die.” Claustrophobic, huh? My mom is, too. She’s never flown in an airplane and she never will; too “closed in”.
November 29th, 2005 at 10:40 am
The Shining is one of my favorite movies ever. I suppose that is probably because I saw it for the first time as an adult and could separate the reality from the fiction pretty well by then (though not perfectly, I have to turn on ALL the lights in any room that I’m in after I watch it).
I’m really afraid of falling down and knocking my teeth out. I worry about it on stairs all the time – perhaps that’s the real reason that the new house will be one story… Actually, I really hate the dentist (I am an anti-dentite, dammit!) and I think that’s why I worry.
November 29th, 2005 at 11:09 am
Shhhh, you might be jinxing yourself. LOL!
November 29th, 2005 at 11:51 am
hahaha, ive got a non identical twin in the family too, but they dotn scare me, altho they are damn annoying :P
But i do feel a little uncomfortable looking at siamsese twins, not i got something against them it just looks very not tasty! But so do some single people look too :P
November 29th, 2005 at 12:57 pm
MamaChristy: You know what’s really odd? After reading that post and looking at that picture on the fake doctor’s site, I spent part of the afternoon thinking, “Ugh, I’d sure hate to knock out my two front teeth.” Hope that kid is doing better …
Berry: I *LOVE* your little image, your avatar. TOO CUTE!!! Different clothes, different poses, different hairstyles. It’s adorable. If I could figure out how to photoshop a new bikini on my funkybrownchicken, I’d put a different outfit on it every day.
Papigiulio: Funny! :)
November 29th, 2005 at 4:07 pm
In a similar vein, those freaky ass lookalike kids in Village of the Damned always creeped me out. Yeesh.
November 29th, 2005 at 6:26 pm
Snakes alive! And even dead. I was sitting at this al-fresco bar yesterday when twig that was somehow curled on the umbrella fell on me. I jumped and screamed and this guy I was with looked startled. It’s only a twig, Jenn.
But, but, but…despite being terrified of snakes, whenever I go to Penang (Flag Hill) I must have tea in this lovely old colonial hotel, the Belmont, on the terrace overlooking the island. Now this is a weird place, in that it has green vipers hanging from the trelliswork directly above the tables. They’re poisonous but sleepy – as in you don’t bother them, they don’t bother you. But everytime a twig fell…
I love twins. One of my best friends is an identical twin. What cracks me up with identicals is that people spend a lot of time trying to decide which twin is prettier. Like, duh, they’re IDENTICAL.
November 29th, 2005 at 8:09 pm
Hmmm…do Doublemint commercials totally freak you out?
November 29th, 2005 at 11:13 pm
okay, these are my panic-inducers:
the idea of having my eyeball sliced by anything (Thanks, Dali/Bunuel! That’s an image we all needed!) Losing a nipple in a freak rollerblading accident (bizarre, since I can’t actually rollerblade), rolling luggage.
Okay, actually, I just hate rolling luggage, I’m not scared of it. And shopping carts. I friggin’ hate those, too.
Sigh.
I am such a freakshow.
November 29th, 2005 at 11:14 pm
Maybe if you were exposed to quintuplets, twins would no longer seem like such a big deal.
November 30th, 2005 at 1:18 am
1. The twins in The Shining are by far the creepiest thing about that film.
2. I once dated a girl who had a phobia about twins. So you’re not alone.
3. I have a phobia about helium balloons. I’m not kidding, either.
November 30th, 2005 at 9:06 am
sethro: Whew! It’s refreshing to know that I’m not the only person freaked out by twins.
Jenn: Snakes are creepy. I’m not afraid of them. But, then again, I can’t say that I’ve ever really seen any close up. Maybe if I did, I’d be singing a different tune.
Anhoni Patel: I remember those commercials! :) Oddly enough, they don’t freak me out, but I think they’re pretty cheesy. (Just like those supercheesy Mentos commercials.)
Sid: I can honestly say that those are the absolute ODDEST panic-inducers that I’ve ever heard in my life. :)
JohnJEnright: “Maybe if you were exposed to quintuplets, twins would no longer seem like such a big deal.” … OR I’d be TWICE as freaked out. :)
Andy: 1. I completely agree. 2. Glad to hear that I’m not alone. 3. Hmmm … Do tell …
November 30th, 2005 at 9:58 am
Clowns, I watched part of The Return of It as a child and can not stand them. Although I did dress up as one for Halloween a couple of years back and I was fine, until I saw the photos and I couldn’t sleep at night.
December 1st, 2005 at 3:43 am
It’s odd, but I know quite a few people who are afraid of clowns. Poltergeist is another movie that starts a demonic clown. Remember when the kid with the braces got attacked by the clown under his bed?
May 2nd, 2007 at 7:30 am
Anne