Sexpert says: “Read My Hips”
Morning commute. I usually either read a book (currently: The Devil in the White City; thanks, dear reader, for the suggestion) or I fill out the Sudoku in the mini-newspapers. Today? Today, I am in a Sudoku kind of mood so, on way to the train, I pick up a free copy of the Metro from a vendor.
I thumb through the pages in search of the game, but the news articles get in the way. “Possible MTA Strike.” Uh-oh. “Funeral Held for Bronx Cop.” Sad. “Iran Leader Denies Holocaust.” WTF?!?! I keep looking. My eyes are drawn to the headline of the article on the top-left column of page 18: Flirting Fanatic. “Ooooh,” I think to myself, “this looks like fun!”
According to the article, Eve Marx, a former editor of Penthouse Forum, recently published a book called “Read My Hips: The Sexy Art of Flirtation.” I’ve not read the book (nor will I); however, from the article, I gather that the author’s new book gives advice that any grandmother over the age of 78 could have given. For example, she says that single people shouldn’t stay in a bar alone after 11:00pm. Why? “If you are [in a bar well after 11:00pm],” she says, “you aren’t looking for flirting at that point. You are looking for pretty hard action.” It’s New York. If it is 11:00pm, most people haven’t even arrived at the bars yet. (Hell, when I am out with friends and it’s 11:00pm, chances are pretty good that we haven’t even left the dinner table yet.)
At any rate, the article about the book gives me inspiration for today’s blog post. “My readers are all pretty funny, hip, interesting and smart. And, as far as I know, they are all under 78 years of age. I wonder what flirting advice / techniques used they would reveal if they were asked?” I’ll start. My advice? Be yourself. Go with what works for you because you are sexiest (and the most comfortable) when you are, well, YOU. Hmmm … what’s your advice?
December 15th, 2005 at 10:56 am
Humour. You can weed out the freaks who dont appreciate your sense of humour (so they wouldnt have been a good match anyway) and then the nice people who appreciate the humour are left wondering where you have been all their lives:D It also helps break the ice and make people be natural with each other.
Of course this doesnt mean that anyone trying this should run out and buy a ‘Humour for Dummies’ book. It should come naturally. If it doesnt, then try something else that makes you feel comfortable so you can be yourself (echoing Stolie here). If you are being yourself and the guy/girl you want doesnt find that attracive, well then you just saved yourself the hassle of finding that out 6 months later! Its like being rejected for a job at the interview, you have to remember that they didnt hire you because they dont think you’re suited to the job, so you wouldnt have been happy working there anyway if you had been hired despite their misgivings.
Not sure if that makes much sense but thats what I think anyway.
December 15th, 2005 at 1:43 pm
confidence…i could be looking straight bum (although that’s hardly ever ;)…but if you think you are the ish, you can’t be denied!. i find that men and women alike feed off our self-perceptions.
December 15th, 2005 at 3:48 pm
Wear clothes you feel good in. It is so much easier to flirt (not that I have had a lot of flirting under my belt for the past, oh, ten years or so with anyone other than my husband) when you feel great about how you look. This may seem superficial, but it’s true.
December 15th, 2005 at 4:22 pm
Darwin: GREAT advice!!! … Now, about that book … If I throw away my copy of Humour for Dummies, won’t my Goofball’s Guide to Blogging book will get lonely sitting by itself on my bookshelf? ;)
rcknrobin: Confidence. Good one. In individual’s self-perception is like a mirror through which others see them.
MamaChristy: Actually, I don’t think this is superficial at all. It’s just the truth: when you look good, you feel good.
December 15th, 2005 at 9:39 pm
That’s what I was going to say. Be Yourself. Shower before going out. Make contact through mindless little touches on the hand, arm, etc. Laugh like you mean it.
December 15th, 2005 at 9:56 pm
Having said that however, if the guy doesnt dig you, then no matter what you do (well short of being really pathetic and throwing yourself at him, which I’m proud to say I’ve NEVER done!) it just wont happen. Perfect example was tonight, went out with a friend of mine and had these two quite fit random guys (brothers) get pally with us and buy us drinks, and I thought the younger one was quite cute (why am I such a sucker for the accent and the dimples??!!) but he wasnt interested, I could tell. He was friendly enough, but sometimes you just KNOW when it’s not gonna happen!
O wel, his loss, probably a closet gay!
As to the book, hmmm well if your ‘Goofball’s Guide to Blogging’ will get lonely then keep it:P Although you arent a goofball and I love your blog and I think you write really well!
December 15th, 2005 at 11:41 pm
A perfect mix of eye contact, smiling and confidence.
Works every time.
December 16th, 2005 at 12:48 am
Im with what darwin said, humor usually breaks the ice and gives the whole atmosphere a relaxing feel.
December 16th, 2005 at 7:45 am
Anhoni Patel: Nobody likes dirty, smelly people. So, I second the shower advice. :)
Darwin: You’re right. His loss … I’m not so sure about that closeted gay bit, though … And, by the way, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a sucker for a guy with dimples!!! :) Oh, and, **THANKS** for the compliment!!! :)
kelly: Ooooh, this is a good one, too! It’s hard to find that perfect mix.
Papigiulio: Humor seems to be the winner …
December 17th, 2005 at 10:28 am
Me, I usually just wear something tight.
December 17th, 2005 at 11:38 am
Oh, yeah! Tight, fitted clothes. Works every time!!! :)