Twelve Dudes of Christmas™
It’s hard to believe that Christmas is only nine days away! To spread a little Christmas cheer, I thought that I would sing a Christmas Carol for you all.
I started to write my own adaptation of the Twelve Days of Christmas song, but then I realized that I didn’t have the main character: a true love. You know? “On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me yada yada yada.” So, then a brilliant idea occurs to me: why not write a song about my lack of a true love? And, here’s the catch, in the song the “Dating Fairy” can give me twelve different versions of deliciously beautiful true loves. Sounds like fun, right?
It isn’t much, but here we go … [vocal chords warming up] Mi, mi, mi. Do, re, mi, mi, mi. Oh yeah, by the way, I’ll start with the twelfth day so that you don’t have to go through the whole song with me …
[Cue music; tune: 12 Days of Christmas]
STOLIE’S TWELVE DUDES OF CHRISTMAS™ For my twelve dudes of Christmas the Dating Fairy gave to me:
Twelve Michael Ealys
Eleven men with accents
Ten Taye Diggs a-singing
Nine go-go dancers
Eight Chow Yun Fats
Seven guys from the gym
Six packs on their abs
Five HUNKS FROM SPAIN!!!!
Four men who call
Three huge schlongs
Two promises kept
And a Paul Walker look-a-like too.Happy Friday everyone! Have a good weekend!!!
Happy Friday everyone! Have a good weekend!!!
December 16th, 2005 at 11:43 am
LMAO! You go! Thanks for the the lovely new carol. Perhaps I’ll sing it before Christmas dinner with my family…
December 16th, 2005 at 12:24 pm
Oh I like this one! It’s a damn sight better than the only Christmas album I can find in my house(Hanson’s Snowed In). Help!
December 16th, 2005 at 12:44 pm
MamaChristy: I think that’s a great idea!!! You should sing it right before the turkey (or turducken) is carved. “Um, excuse me everyone [bang spoon on glass] … Before we start, I just have a little carol that I’d like to sing and I hope that you’ll all sing along … It goes like this … “
Nics: Hanson?!?! Hmm Bop Hanson??? Are they still around? The only thing that I remember about those kids is that they were super cheesy and their parents home-schooled them.
December 16th, 2005 at 1:55 pm
yes the mmbop boys. My mum got me it years and years ago. I don’t know how I haven’t managed to lose it. They’re still around, they had a song out here in the Uk this year.
December 16th, 2005 at 5:05 pm
Oh yeah, Baby. I loves me some Chow. I also loves me some Ken Wanatabe. Ooof. Yumm. Big-time dashing.
December 16th, 2005 at 6:37 pm
That’s funny…
Me thinks I’ll need to pen the Hetero Sexual Male version of that song… stay tuned… you’ve inspired me…
Oh, btw, Hanson (brothers) are still around. One of the older brothers tried out for Canadian Idol this past year. My how the (not so) mighty have fallen…
December 16th, 2005 at 10:44 pm
Awesome. That seems like the best Christmas ever.
December 17th, 2005 at 9:25 am
lol, nice carol but dont think for one sec im gona sing that …..not even while drunk :P
December 17th, 2005 at 9:26 am
Nics: Wow! They had a recent hit in the UK??? I could be wrong, but don’t think they’ve released anything stateside since the mmmbop stuff … And, by the way, I’m not buying that story about your mom purchasing the CD for you. Admit it. You bought it. You like Hanson. And, it’s okay. ;)
missbhavens: Ooooh, yes, Ken is a cutie pie, too!!!!
Mitch: Oh, I *will* stay tuned. I can’t wait to hear a Y-chromosome version of the song … And, that’s TOOOOOO funny about the Hanson bros. On Canadian idol? Really???
Anhoni Patel: Just doing my part to spread a little Christmas cheer.
December 17th, 2005 at 9:30 am
Papigiulio: Hey, we hit “publish” at the same time. I think you should sing the song. Do your part to spread it internationally! :)
December 17th, 2005 at 10:19 am
LOL fabulous! And I LOVE the fact that you chose exactly three huge schlongs! A plug for every socket, eh? But wait – don’t you want one for each hand as well?
:-p
December 17th, 2005 at 11:46 am
You’re BAAAAAD!!!
*smiles innocently*
I didn’t even notice that the orifice:schlong ratio was exactly 1:1. ;)
December 17th, 2005 at 12:15 pm
Ha! I love it! When I sing it, can I bend it a little to suit my own proclivities? (As in FIVE hunks from LEEDS! or somesuch?)
You and Mr. Jay are Dir-tay! I love that, too, ROFL.
December 17th, 2005 at 4:29 pm
I just had a bad mental image of that plug-for-every-socket-and-one-for-each-hand scenario….
….Nope still not gone….
LOL!
December 17th, 2005 at 8:15 pm
Now while I’ll admit I liked them at the time I received the cd, I did not buy it myself. It was in my stocking when I was thirteen. Honest!!
December 18th, 2005 at 1:28 am
Sid: Blame Jay!!!! I’m the innocent one. ;)
Darwin: Again. The imagery? It’s Jay’s fault!!! :)
Nics: Can we blame Jay for Hanson’s comeback, too? Sure. Why not? Dammit Jay!!! :)