Good Girl Gone Bad?
Yes, it’s true. I am at dinner with Le Canadien. And, yes, it’s true that he looks very nice tonight. And, yeah, sure, okay, I’ve had a little bit of wine to drink. But, no, I am not going to sleep with him. I’m not going to do it. I wrote a post about this a while ago, but just to recap … Le Canadien is one of my exes. Shortly after we stopped seeing each other, we started sleeping together, stopped sleeping together, made a pact to never sleep with each other and then started and stopped again. Whew, that was a mouthful! Then again, so is he. But, that’s a different story. Back to dinner. As usual, we are discussing relationships as well as the difference between men and women. Le Canadien has been single for two weeks and that’s a long time for him. I have been without a boyfriend, fuck buddy, or boy toy since April 2005. That’s a really really really long time for me.
“I’ve been thinking,” I start. “And, I’ve decided that I’m ready for a long-term relationship.”
Le Canadien shifts in his seat, looks at his plate and plays with his food with his fork.
“Oh, no, no, no,” I quickly explain. “I don’t mean with you. I don’t even mean with anyone in particular. I just mean that I think a nice, committed relationship would fit nicely into my life right now.”
Le Canadien considers what I’ve said. “You can’t decide what type of relationship you want and then slot a man into that,” he starts. “You meet the guy, first, and then everything else follows. At least, it always seems to work that way.”
“Hmm. I understand what you’re saying,” I say. “But, still, I think I’m ready. You know, the one-woman-one-man kind of thing.”
“Really?” he sounds surprised.
“Oh, yeah, I could do a committed relationship. I’m from the Midwest, you know. We invented the Committed Relationship, remember?” I smile and add, “I’m a good girl.”
Le Canadien immediately pretends to choke on his food, doubles over and gasps for air. “You’re a what?!?!?!?” he spits out.
“I am a good girl,” I say definitively.
“Woman, good girls don’t do [ … omitted to protect the completely and utterly innocent ...],” he smiles as if he’s reminiscing. “So, actually, you’re a good girl in a very bad way or a bad girl but in a very good way. That’s a good thing.”
Time passes. The topic changes. We finish our dinners. Later, as I’m walking home, alone, the words that he said are still running through my head. A good girl in a bad way or a bad girl but in a very good way. What the hell does that even mean?
January 20th, 2006 at 2:00 am
You are a Good Girl, and I mean goooooood when you are bad.
Or,
You are a Bad Girl and good at it.
Where were you when I was 25? Never mind, that was a different time.
January 20th, 2006 at 4:01 am
It means you’re a nice girl who’s good in bed. And yes, that IS a good thing.
As for monogamy… ah, what a lovely concept – in theory.
January 20th, 2006 at 4:03 am
Bad at the ‘good’ stuff, i.e. abstinence before marriage, etc. You’re not vanilla in other words.
Good at the ‘bad’ stuff, i.e. good in bed. Which is a good thing.
January 20th, 2006 at 5:49 am
I agree with awe – it means you’re good in bed.
See – men seem to think that if you’re a ‘good girl’ you don’t know how to/want to give a blowjob. Why they dont’ seem to get that you could wnt to both? They watch too much porn….
January 20th, 2006 at 5:50 am
Sorry – i meant ‘want to do both’
Me typing + alcohol = messy….
January 20th, 2006 at 5:52 am
First, I disagree with Le Canadien’s idea that you meet the man and then other things follow. I believe the exact opposite is true. You have exactly the relationships you are looking for despite what you may say you want. You have to decide in your heart what kind of relationship and person you want and then they both will miraculously appear.
Second, good girls who do bad (sexy) things are perfect. And I suspect you belong in this category.
January 20th, 2006 at 8:46 am
I agree with the whole interpretation of what he meant. BUT I’m not pleased with the WAY it was said. It only proves that men have this whole “good/bad” thing in their heads all the time as the two catagories we chicks can fit into.
Stolie, in reality, you are your own catagory.
January 20th, 2006 at 8:57 am
bad girls rule. fact.
January 20th, 2006 at 9:55 am
Be good at everything you do, that’s my mantra. Even if some of those things are considered “bad” sometimes. As long as you do the bad things good, all is well! Mwah!
January 20th, 2006 at 10:16 am
I really don’t have anything to add except that I agree with what everyone has said. If you wanna relationship, find a guy who wants that too and don’t spend time on the dudes like Le Canadien who, it appears, is really interesting in a fling… (not to say that he’s looking to fling with you, it’s just that he seems to fit a certian profile…)
January 20th, 2006 at 11:14 am
I agree that you get what you want, deep down, and that it is ridiculous that women get boxed into good girl/bad girl categories.
Mam’selle Stolie, I think that if you really are ready for a committed relationship, you won’t have any trouble finding suitable candidates, largely because you’ll a) have plenty of candidates to begin with and b)will quickly discard anyone who doesn’t seem to be interested in a serious relationship.
January 20th, 2006 at 5:56 pm
I really can’t disagree with anyone else’s comments.
It’s all about being presentable to the office party as a date/girlfriend.
At the same time, after the party, and behind closed doors, or just out for a night on the town, it means that you know how to have a good time.
My $.02
ps. Thanks for the good luck wishes. Tomorrow @ 3pm (6pm your time)!
January 20th, 2006 at 7:31 pm
That’s totally me. I’m a good girl in a bad way. It’s a good girl who occasionaly does bad things but is essentially good inside.
January 21st, 2006 at 4:00 am
God is good.
The rest of us are an approximation.
And that needs to be okay.
January 21st, 2006 at 6:19 am
AWE: 25? I’m not that young. :)
Jay: I think you’re right to call monogamy a concept/theory given that it fails so many in practice.
Darwin: Vanilla? No. Chocolate? Yes. ;)
lala: This is true, a lot of men seem to think that. Though, I must admit, I tend to think the same ways about guys. If he’s **too** sweet or cutesy, I assume he’s probably lousy in bed.
goldennib: I tend to agree with you. In life, in general, I kinda of think that you have to envision the future (man, job, house, etc.) that you want and then follow the path in that leads in that direction. Without envisioning it, how do you know which way to go?
missbhavens: Awww! Thanks!!!! I like that: I am in my own category!! :)
surly girl: So, I guess this means you’re a bad girl? :)
Tonito Bandito: Oooh, I like your mantra. I should write that on the white board on my fridge.
MamaChristy: Yeah, Le Canadian can be an ass from time to time.
Sid: Hmmm … I don’t know about the “plenty of candidates” stuff, but I’ll write a post about that tomorrow.
Mitch: Got it. 6:00pm my time, I’ll be sending “good luck wishes” your way.
Anhoni Patel: When it comes to boys, we might be cyber twins too!! :)
Raymond: Thanks, reverend. :)
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:54 am
[...] I am a good girl who happens to be kinky. Or, as one of my exes put it: a very bad girl in a good way or a good girl in a very bad way. [...]