In the English language, technically, “I’ll call you” literally means “one day in the near future, I will pick up my phone and I will dial your telephone number and you will pick up on the other line and we will talk.” I. Will. Call. You. But, in the modern dating world, “I’ll call you” kind of seems to mean, well, nothing. Has this phrase become the modern equivalent of “um”; is it just a filler? As examples, I have two new Boystories for you …
Boy #1. I’m on my way to work and I pass an absolutely gorgeous man on the street. He smiles. I smile back. I keep walking. Something propels me to turn around to check if he’s looking at me. He is. He jogs back towards me to say hello. Actually, wait … Before I continue with the story, I’d just like to say that this isn’t the first time that I met a boy on the street. Remember Tony, the Italian boy from Brooklyn who loves his momma? I should have learned my lesson. But, apparently I didn’t, so whatever, okay, now I’ll carry on … So, the boy jogs up to me, right? Yada yada yada he gives me his telephone number. He’s tall. He’s cute. I eventually call him. When he picks up the phone, he asks me to hold on for a minute. I do. I hear a bunch of rumbling and then I notice smooth background music. He returns to the phone and his voice is a little deeper than it was before. He says that he would like to cook me dinner for our first date. I tell him, “I have to go now, but I’ll call you later.” Of course, I don’t. And, I won’t.
Boy #2. I know Boy #2 through a friend-of-a-friend-kind-of-situation. He asks me for my telephone number at the top of the year, but then he doesn’t call me for three weeks. When he does call, we agree to go on a date. I have an absolutely wonderful time; the best date in New York yet. When it is over, he leans in to kiss me. He tells me that he thinks that we have a lot in common and he really enjoyed our date. He sounds sincere. He says that he’ll call me the next day so that we can talk again before I leave for my business trip. He doesn’t. I just returned back to New York the other day and he still hasn’t called. And, honestly, I don’t know if he will.
So, what exactly does “I’ll Call You” Mean?
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
filler? yes, yes it is.
even between the best of friends, it’s a vaguely truthful statement that buys time between now and next contact.
and we all use it, toss it here and there, meaninglessly and occassionally with more purpose, meaning: “no, i won’t be calling you but baby, i’ve not got the time nor energy to explain to you why you’ve suddenly turned me off”.
however, i will tell my friends, endlessly.
(stolie – how ya been, girl?! long time)
This post has been removed by the author.
Filler yes. Rude Yes. Annoying Yes. I don’t say “I’ll call you” to anyone unless I actually mean it, and it does get on my nerves when it is not reciprocated. To date though, if I really want to speak to someone or hear from them, I just go ahead and call them myself because it beats sitting around wondering if they’re going to dial or not. If the conversation doesn’t flow or another meet isn’t forthcoming, then having the conversation makes it more obvious, I can cut my losses and move on. I mean at least I know I did my part, if that makes sense. If I dont want to see the person again I settle for a less specific “see you around sometime”.
Boy#1: extra deep voice eh? He’s trying too hard to compensate for lack of some other social ability. Stay away!
Boy#2: if it bugs you, call him yourself and see where it goes. Win-win situation because either you get a great 2nd date or you find out where you stand and get some closure rather than wondering ‘why didnt he call?’.
Just my 2cents worth…
Boy #1: Eeek! I was (and still am, though I don’t date anyone but my husband these days) a big supporter of at least the first date being in public somewhere. That gives you a chance to run – or at least yell for help – if the dude turns out to be a lunatic. Plus if he can’t afford a dinner out perhaps he doesn’t have the E.P. (yes, that’s “earning potential” and yes, it’s shallow and yes, it is certainly worth considering when you start dating someone) that you might like.
Boy #2: If you really wanna know why he hasn’t called to satisfy your curiosity, then call. Chances are, after your call he will – wrongly – think you are needy or desperate and be even less interested than before. While I’m sorry that the best date in NYC so far has turned out this way, I wouldn’t go out with him again. He isn’t your dream man if he doesn’t call when he says he’s going to. Obviously he doesn’t have the appropriate amount of Stolie worship – you know, enough to call and be nervous about a date but not so much that he’s a doormat.
The trick is to make sure he knows how happy you’ll be if he does call.
Boy: I’ll call you.
You: Really? You mean it? I’d love that! Make you sure you do, I’ll be waiting for it. Oh god, I’m excited already! When do you think you’ll be calling? Tomorrow? The day after? Try not to leave it later than that, OK? I really wanna hook up with you! Maybe you oughta give me your number so I can call you if I don’t hear from you. You know, in case you lose my number or something.
See, this way he knows you’re keen and he’ll feel more confident and reassured about where it’s heading.
Trust me.
miss anon: That’s funny and, I might add, completely true: “no, i won’t be calling you but baby, i’ve not got the time nor energy to explain to you why you’ve suddenly turned me off”. :)
Darwin: Yeah, I’m definitely staying away from Boy #1. And, I like you approach to Boy #2. In the end, I didn’t have to call him because he called me yesterday afternoon. I saw him yesterday evening. Who knows – maybe I’m a sucker and/or I’m too forgiving, but I think he gave a good excuse for not calling.
MamaChristy: I absolutely adore you!!! I swear, I feel like you really know me. If you lived in New York, I’d probably beg you to hang out with me all of the time. :)
Jay: Okay … I don’t know about this one. If I ever said that to a guy, I think he would completely freak out and think that I was being too needy or clingy …
hate to say it: filler.
“I’ll Call you” has slid into the same catagory as “Hi! How are you!”
Man, no one in this city waits for an answer on that one but EVERYBODY says it!
Very true. :)
Wasn’t there a Friends episode about this particular conundrum?
Probably. That show was on the air so long that it covered almost everything. :)
I’ll call you doesn’t mean crap nowadays. I can usually tell if a guy is going to call by how much he assures me he will when he gets my number. Lots of assurance usually means I’ll get a call. No assurance, no chance in hell for a call. But I’m not a fan of just giving out my number. I prefer to do the even exchange and then wait for him to call me. If he doesn’t, I make it a point to never call him. And I can comfort myself with the fact even though he didn’t call me, I didn’t call him either. So we technically dumped each other (although no relationship had yet to be formed).
I usually just give out my number. Hmmm …. maybe I should try the even exchange thing
I read this earlier today and had to come back. I thought the guy who turned on the smoooooth music and came back with a deep voice was pretty classic. He may have just had a good sense of humor and wasn’t frightened by your stunning hotness to use it.
I wish I could be as cool as that guy . . . pick up hot chicks on the street and then not be afraid to be my dork-ass self later.
damn that guy’s good.
He’s was definitely something! :)