2 OUT OF 3: Apartment. Boy. Job.
Okay, I have really bad news kids. I just lost my job. I wasn’t sure whether or not I was going to blog about this. In the end, I decided that I would because, if you’ve read the post So, Come Here Often?, you know that I started this blog to chronicle the ups *and downs* of my recent move to New York City.
So, what happened with the job? I hadn’t been there for a very long time and I was still in that evaluation period during which they determine if I am a good fit for the company and I decide whether the company is a good fit for me. In the end, we mutually agreed that it wasn’t working out.
I took the weekend off to regroup. I cried. I prayed. I called friends (I love you guys!!!). And, now that it’s the start of a new week, I have to face the real challenges that lie ahead. I haven’t told my family (my sister) yet. We’re different. For her, life is about finding your safety blanket and wrapping yourself in it. If I were to call her now, she would feel really frightened for me … and she would tell me to move back to the Midwest. That’s not what I need to hear right now. And, more importantly, I don’t want her to worry.
Boy #2 has been unbelievably supportive. I’ve seen him 4 times since my first post about him 5 days ago. We now see each other and/or he calls me almost every day; he even cooked dinner for me. I’m not naïve enough to think that everything is fine with the boy because this is actually quite a horrible time to meet even the most wonderful person. I don’t know where things will go with Boy #2 but, for right now, I feel okay. Oddly enough, approximately 3 months ago, I said fabulously single New York women never seem to have all three at the same time: an apartment, a job and a boy. “Once I find [a] boy,” I wrote, “I’m totally convinced that I’ll probably lose either my job or the apartment.”
Life is so incredibly odd.
February 13th, 2006 at 12:36 am
it’s at times like these when you’re not really sure what to say, but want to say the right thing, bu “afraid” to say the wrong thing… so I’ll just jump in… it’s good that you’ve got your blog support group, I’m sorry that your reporting a “down” instead of the opposite. Just know that those of us who read your post are sending good vibes and prayers your way.
ET
February 13th, 2006 at 1:07 am
I’m with ET in sending major good vibes your way. John
February 13th, 2006 at 1:09 am
Oh, balls! I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this! Good vibes and prayers coming your way, missy. If you’re up for it, I’ll even buy you a drink or six.
Let me know if I can help :(
And TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
February 13th, 2006 at 2:51 am
Sorry to hear about it, but if it wasnt working out…then leaving sooner than later is a good thing. Like you said, if you are not challenging yourself and discovering your full potential, sure you might be safe but it wont be a lot of fun and you would probably turn out to be a very bitter jaded person when you are old. Not a good thing!
So goodluck on the jobhunt, hope you have good prospects on the horizon and think of it as a new phase in your life.
February 13th, 2006 at 6:21 am
sending happy thoughts…and virtual vodka!
February 13th, 2006 at 7:41 am
Sending all of the above!
February 13th, 2006 at 10:16 am
All the best. Hang in there things will work out.
February 13th, 2006 at 10:49 am
Sending you all of the above AND a bag of chips.
Lots of love from Chicago.
February 13th, 2006 at 12:59 pm
I am sending good vibes your way. Sometimes, as you know, these things are just blessings in disguise. You’ll come through the other side shining I am sure.
February 13th, 2006 at 1:09 pm
So what is it in the world today? Are there like, bad vibes coming in with the cold weather? Can I do anything for you? Please, let me know. I’m think of you often and fondly!
February 13th, 2006 at 1:13 pm
You’ll be okay…hang in there Snoopy! We are the same type of people “For me, life is about stepping out into the unknown and challenging yourself to develop to your fullest potential.” Enjoy your time.
February 13th, 2006 at 1:48 pm
it’s so true what they say about not being able to have it all. i mean, i see it around me at times, but i don’t think it’ll EVER be that way in my life.
at any rate, make the best out of what good fortune’s (always count your health) handed to you and keep looking to find something that’ll fulfill you career-wise. in the meantime, enjoy boy#2 – let him support how he can and kill them mice!
super big canadian hugs :)
February 13th, 2006 at 3:06 pm
HUGS!!!
I guess I’m a bit like your sister. I hate being in what I call the meat grinder. (not having/looking for a job, girlfriend, etc). You’re still young. You haven’t crossed that better think twice age(40). I wish you success in finding another job soon.
February 13th, 2006 at 4:17 pm
Crap. Crap crap damn. I’m sorry about the job. Don’t worry about the boy too much, just let it do whatever it is it’s doing, and if right now it’s a comfort well then great because comfort is exatly what you are needing!
Losing a job, even one that wasn’t the right fit, is always deeply frightening–especially in uber-expensive New York–but there could be a hidden blessing in it in this case.
You’re “right fit” has got to be around this town someplace. You’ll find it.
February 13th, 2006 at 5:50 pm
keep on trekkin
February 13th, 2006 at 6:57 pm
Oh dear. It’s always a terrible shock – I was made redundant from a job I absolutely HATED last year and it was still a nasty jolt – but I’m sure a smart girl like you will have no problems finding something else.
As for telling the parents… if I were you I’d keep it to myself for awhile. Get something else, then break it to them as “I got a better offer”. Parents don’t have to know EVERYTHING :-)
Good luck.
February 13th, 2006 at 10:24 pm
Damn, girl! I have some contacts in the area from my old job. E me and I will send you some contacts. They are in Jersey though. A reverse commute?
February 14th, 2006 at 2:48 am
You’ll be okay Stolie, I am sure :)
February 14th, 2006 at 4:49 pm
I’m sorry your job didn’t work out. You have a wonderful outlook on the situation though. I’m impressed. I’d be a basketcase.
February 14th, 2006 at 9:27 pm
Chin up. It’s good that you didn’t stick to something that’s not a good fit. So many people would opt for the straitjacket of security, even if that security comes at too high a cost.
You’re too smart not to get another job soon. And maybe this time it’ll be a perfect fit.
Don’t believe that bullshit about 2 out of 3. It ain’t true unless you make it true. You can have it all.
February 15th, 2006 at 1:29 am
Hope that you and Boy #2 (or somebody more fabulous) had a happy heart day. Love you more than my luggage. Mwah!
February 15th, 2006 at 9:44 am
ET: You said – “it’s at times like these when you’re not really sure what to say …” I firmly believe that as long as you’re speaking from the heart, it’s always the “right” thing to say. Thanks for the support! :)
JohnJEnright: Thanks for the good vibes!!! :)
Sid: I really appreciate your thoughts and prayers. And, I might take you up on your offer for meeting up for a drink sometime soon. Mags is coming in from Boston this weekend, but maybe you and I could meet up sometime next week or the week thereafter?
Darwin: You’re soooo right! Thanks for the good luck wishes. And, I really do see this as a “new phase in my life” as you say. Let’s hope that everything turns out very well in the end.
surly girl: I’ll take virtual vodka any day!!! Just make sure it Stolichnaya … :)
Nics: You rock!!! Thanks so much for the support and the messages. I’m going to email you back with updates later today or sometime tomorrow. You are the sweetest person in the world!
AWE: Thanks for the support!! :)
Mint Chutney: YAY!!! Leave it to the Chicagoan to top everyone else by adding “a bag of chips.” You’re great!!! :)
jo: Thanks for the good vibes. I’m really hoping and praying that this turns out to be a blessing in disguise as you say. It wasn’t working out with my former employer, and I hope that something even better comes my way sometime soon.
MamaChristy: I have no clue what it is, but it seems like a lot of people are facing difficult times at the moment. My life could be worse, I guess. I mean … Dick Cheney could have shot me, you know? :) So, all things considered, life is pretty good. ;) On a more serious note, really, thanks for the well-wishes.
Berry: THANK YOU!!! I honestly really appreciate the support.
miss anon: I’m been focusing on the positives. It’s true: I have my health. I also have food in the fridge, (a little bit of) money in the bank, clothes on my back, and a roof over my head. A lot of people in New York and throughout the world don’t have that. I’m counting my blessings. And, I’m enjoying Boy #2. By the way … I *LOVE* my Canadian readers!!!!
Raymond: THANKS!!!!! :) And, 40 is the “better think twice” age? Really??? I thought I read somewhere that was pushed back to 50 or 60 or so. ;)
missbhavens: You’re right, I’m enjoying Boy #2 for today. Who knows what will happen tomorrow or the next day. I don’t care. For right now, it’s good. About the job, my eyes are peeled and I’m looking forward to discovering the hidden blessing in all of this.
Dear Lovey Heart: THANK YOU SWEETIE!! :)
Jay: Thanks for the support and the advice. Yeah, I think I’m going to hold off on telling my family. No need to make them worry. Once I find something, even if it’s temporary, then I’ll break the news. I’d rather, “I lost my job, but this is what I’m doing now” instead of the deadpan “I lost my job.” Thanks for the good luck wishes, too. :)
Tonito Bandito: Thanks!! I would rather work in Manhattan, but beggars can’t be choosers. I put you on my “To Do” list; I’ll email you later today or tomorrow to ask for more details about your contacts. Right now, I’m following **EVERY** lead and keeping my options open.
Guri: Thank you!!! :) :)
goldennib: Oh, but you missed the basketcase hours. :) I got PLENTY of crying in over the past few days. My rent is $1,350 and it’s due in less than 3 weeks. Trust me. I’ve had my “freak out” periods. But, things will be okay. I have to have faith that things are going to work out.
Jenn: VERY well put. Security often does come at a high cost. I’m hoping for a much better fit at the next job. I’m also hoping that some of your optimism will rub off on me and that I’ll eventually get all 3 out of 3. Thanks for your words of support.
Tonito Bandito: And, I love you more than my super-fab electronic toothbrush that does a fantastic job of keeping my smile bright and cheery … Oh, and, yeah, Boy #2 did the job of being my Valentine yesterday … and, he did a good job at it doing it, too. ;)
February 15th, 2006 at 9:59 am
Stols, I am thinking about you and hoping the best for you, too. You are a talented, intelligent, confident young woman, and I have no doubt you will land on your feet. None whatsoever. I don’t know if it means shit right now, but I just happened to be reading Conan O’Brien’s commencement speech to the Harvard class of 2000 yesterday http://www.february-7.com/features/conan.htm and although it’s worth a read because it’s freaking hilarious, I was also affected by the following: I left the cocoon of Harvard, I left the cocoon of Saturday Night Live, I left the cocoon of The Simpsons. And each time it was bruising and tumultuous. And yet, every failure was freeing, and today I’m as nostalgic for the bad as I am for the good.
So, that’s what I wish for all of you: the bad as well as the good. Fall down, make a mess, break something occasionally. And remember that the story is never over.
Words of wisdom are, at best, the source of a smile in trying times and, at worst, irritating. :-) Nevertheless, I believe firmly that jobs are like romantic relationships in many regards, and especially in this case, “It may be for the best.” This may be the case of one door shutting and another door opening on a better opportunity to come. Good luck.
February 15th, 2006 at 10:11 am
Sometimes we just don’t have to tell our family everything, for everyone’s sake. If I were you, I would only tell my family after I have settled down better to save myself the loads of hassle. Best of luck there!!
February 15th, 2006 at 6:52 pm
Sounds good. Let me know what your schedule looks like then.
Best of luck on the hunt in the meantime. New York is a tough place, but like you said, you’re from Chicago! You’ve got the chops to bust this gentrified town!
February 16th, 2006 at 10:38 am
Miss Bad Penny: Good idea!! I’ve spoken to my sister twice since losing my job. So far, “work” hasn’t come up. Let’s hope that I can hold her off until I have income.
Sid: DEFINITELY!
February 16th, 2006 at 8:55 pm
Andy, dearheart, I forgot to respond to your comment. THANK YOU for forwarding the Conan quote. I really appreciate it. I’m somewhat of a sap for motivational speeches. Before you forwarded this one to me, I hadn’t heard or read Conan’s speech. It’s great one! THANKS!!! :-) I’m actually going to use the “relationship” analogy when I speak of my former job from now on.
February 16th, 2006 at 10:30 pm
i was pointed towards your blog by my friend/coworker raymond, and i wanted to say that i really like what you wrote here:
“For me, life is about stepping out into the unknown and challenging yourself to develop to your fullest potential.”
i feel the same way, and i was really happy to read this, the day after the boy i’ve been dating for a few months reacted in a really unsupportive way when i complained about the current job i have (and hate); he thinks it’s ’stupid’ that i studied something in college that’s different from what i’m doing in my job; seems like his life philosophy is like your sister’s and that i’m silly for being idealistic, exploring cities other than where i grew up, trying different things before figuring out what i want to do in life — apparently at 30 i’m ‘too old’ not to know yet — etc.. i think you’re awesome for moving to ny and taking a risk and i’m sure that a fabulous job will find you and you will succeed. things have a way of working out, i think, when you’re willing to take risks. rock on, girl. (i lived in ny unemployed for about 2 years — by catsitting — email me if you want details!)
February 17th, 2006 at 12:05 am
Hi Rachel,
Welcome to the blog!! Catsitting, you say? Very clever. And, if I weren’t allergic, I might seriously consider it.
Right now, it looks like “temping” is going to be the way out in the short term. Fingers crossed that a fabulous job comes my way soon!!
Stolie
October 9th, 2006 at 4:10 am
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