I am updating my profile. Blogger randomly generates a quirky question each time you save changes to your profile. My question requires me to be a musician: You’ve broken up with your old band and are about to release your first solo album. What would you write in the liner notes?
I try to type the answer in the little box they’ve provided, but I’m limited to 150 characters. So, instead of posting it there, I’m posting it here. Here we go … Pretend that my album, Yo Soy La Chocha De Tu Madre, is just about to drop …
Yo Soy La Chocha De Tu Madre
Track 1. Emancipation of Stolie
Track 2. I Love Double Burgers
Track 3. A Girl and Her Blog
Track 4. F – - k Me Paul Walker
Track 5. Feel Good, Come to Mama
Track 6. Single. Sexy. 30-Something.
Track 7. I Shot 50 Cent
Track 8. Women Can Be Misogynists Too
Track 9. H-O-T-T-I-E-E-E featuring Lenny Kravitz
Track 10. The Soul of a Woman
Track 11. You Make Me Believe in Blondes
Track 12. My Kind of Hometown: Chicago
*Bonus Track* I Love Double Burgers. 2 Patties. (The Remix)
Thanks … Thanks be to God above for inspiring me to leave that deadweight of a band behind. This diva was born to be on stage. Alone.Sophie, baby, I love you! I have the best family in the world. Jimmy, take care of her or I’ll kick your ass. To my two darling nephews: I’m putting aside a little bit of the money that I generate from album sells. After I take my trips around the world, buy an apartment in Manhattan and a summer home in South America — I am paying your college tuition, sweeties.
I have nothing but love in my heart for Michael Ealy, Denzel Washington, Taye Diggs and a bunch of other fine brothers. David Beckham, Paul Walker, and Jason Lewis — you inspired the song “You Make Me Believe in Blondes”.
Sending a shout out to the Stolie Nation and all of my favorite bloggers. You know who you are.
Mags, Bro, Pegs and Maria. I love you guys.
To everyone at Roc-A-Fella Records, thank you for supporting my work. When I showed other record labels my demo tape, they shuddered in fear. They refused to release my album because of the track “I Shot 50 Cent.” But, you held your ground. For that, I am indebted to you. Don’t worry. He’s not going to kill you. Or me. God bless.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
My favorite song is track 4. It will be a number one hit for sure. Mwah!
Hah…will def take a listen to that one!
You absolutely crack me up. I mean, crack me UP!
“I Am The Woodcock Of Your Mother” (translation courtesy of Free Translation Online
Interesting title. Mmmm. Paul Walker. Tony is so right; that song if gonna be HUGE. Bigger than David Duchovny.
Um. Okay! See there…all that creativity trapped in the office. You needed to break freeeeeeee. P.S. How is the mouse situation?
ah, stolie…hehehe you have a lot of time on your hands don’t you? it’s cute.
I particularly enjoyed this track: “You Make Me Believe in Blondes”
heh?
Tonito Bandito: I *LOVE* Track #4 too. :-)
Darwin: Thanks!
missbhavens: :)
MamaChristy: Not that chocha, THIS chocha. It’s really an album about rebirth; so, it’s “I Am the the Vagina of Your Mother.”
Berry: Unemployment really does WONDERS for creativity. I actually responded to a couple of ads for acting jobs. I figured, “why not? what the hell else do I have to do after HOURS of job searching??” Oh, yeah, and I’ll post about the mouse situation sometime this week. Since I caught the 1 mouse, his homeys have come after me. And, they are angry!!!
Anhoni Patel: Yep. WAAAAAAAY too much free time on my hands.
OSEA LA CHOCHA SIGNIFICA VAGINA
QUE BRUTAS AH LA CHOCHA ES POR DONDE ENTRA EL PENE