Don’t know where I got that. Been spouting AA garb all week….. After years of growing up and been forced to listen to my Dad’s AA tapes – it seeps out at the strangest times!!

Howard: You’re quite welcome.

MamaChristy: I agree (selfless love = doing really nice things and stuff) and disagree (“too nice” = deceit).

Jay: Really?!?! ;-)

Raymond: It seems that finding a good “match” can be difficult.

Notorious B: Yes, indeed I am. ;-)

But I’ve not been operating like that when I have been judged “too nice.” It has always seemed that women I have gotten that are used to dating more self-absorbed guys and aren’t comfortable with someone who isn’t a complete ass most of the time.

For example, my most recent ex, “The Niece,” wanted to pick fights all the time. I wouldn’t bite. There’s just some stuff that isn’t worth getting angry over.

I think that we tend to equate being a doormat to being nice. When you are being nice to someone to make them like – or love – you, that’s not too nice, that’s sad. It’s not respectful to yourself or the other person. When someone does this, they aren’t being true to the other person, because that isn’t really who they are. Putting on a fake face isn’t being nice, it’s being deceitful.

Doing nice things – nicer things than you do for yourself – for someone you are in a serious relationship with is part of love. It’s an outward expression on a private, inward feeling. What you might think is “too nice” is true adoration.

Perhaps the really truly nice things don’t have a place in the first several months of a relationship. Maybe the “too nice” actions of someone in that time are a sign of someone being less than honest rather than actually being too nice.

Interesting topic.

She’s lucky to have such a caring granddaughter. ;)