The Art of Mandal-Wearing
mandals n. pl. [man'dls]
Open-toe shoes worn by men. [Stolie: “His toes are fucking ugly! Why the hell is he wearing mandals?!?!] See, also, girlSandals [Mags: “I looked down at Blondie’s feet and I was like, “Ewww! He’s wearing girlSandals.”]
Summertime. It will be here before you know it. And, that can only mean one thing: the arrival mandals on a sidewalk or beach near you. I know. I know. Many people abhor the sight of a man in sandals. Mags, for example, is one of them. But, properly worn, I think a handsome pair of mandals actually looks good on a guy. The key phrase in that sentence is “properly worn”. See, you may not know this but … skillful mandal-wearing is an art. You, too, can master this art if you abide by certain rules. But, first, I should preface everything that I’m going to say by admitting that not all men can wear mandals. Men with ugly toes simply shouldn’t wear them. Ever. Fungus-laden toenails, overgrown patches of hair, presence of the color yellow, bundles of crusty dead skin — you get the picture. And, it’s not cute. Barring ugliness and assuming that the guy has dashingly handsome toes: He. Can. Wear. Mandals.
The rules. Properly worn, mandals should fit and function correctly. No broken straps. No toes hanging over the front or heels hanging over the back. Mandals should also be stylish and clean. If you can use the phrase “Jesus Sandals” to describe the mandals, they shouldn’t be worn. And, remember, nobody likes dirty shoes. Nobody. Easy enough. So, I have a question for you. What’s your call? When you see mandals on a guy, do you think it’s hot … or not?
April 5th, 2006 at 10:08 am
i’m down with everything you said, stolie.
boys don’t need to be totally pedicured (in fact, that is a turn-off in itself for me) but something approaching clean and trim is nice, in feet and sandals and those very feet in those very sandals. otherwise, how about we just don’t subject the world to such ghastly sights?
_
April 5th, 2006 at 10:21 am
Mandals worn with socks is a BIG no no! I’d rather see ugly toes.
April 5th, 2006 at 10:50 am
I wear them, never with socks that is the dumbest thing ever. When I wear them I usually have on shorts and I get compliments on my legs, that’s always a nice ego booster.
April 5th, 2006 at 12:38 pm
WEll, being that I love in Texas and in just the last week – yes, I said week we have had highs in the mid-90s already, I would say even if it isn’t sexy, it is SMART. Goldennib, I think I’d rather see socks and sandles rather than fungusy toe nails. Ewww!
April 5th, 2006 at 12:39 pm
I meant to say “I live in Texas”, but love is true, too.
April 5th, 2006 at 2:09 pm
The women who don’t like my toes wouldn’t have gone out with me before they saw them, so I’m trying to give a shit on that one.
At least I don’t wear those chicken-leg shorts, so the occasional mandal-wearing is okay in my book, hot toes or not.
April 5th, 2006 at 3:10 pm
I could make bread bags look sexy.
Mandals Schmandals.
April 5th, 2006 at 5:03 pm
Some men can get away with them I suppose. There are some boys who can get away with flip flops too. I have horrible feet but I don’t care, if I’m warm then the sandals are coming out.
April 5th, 2006 at 5:23 pm
erikwithak — can we get pics to verify said hotness? ;)
FEET ARE GROSS! I don’t even like the word. Yuck. If it’s hot, what can you do, but I don’t like seeing my own the majority of the time, and I don’t have hairy toe knuckles (ewww!) or anything! :/
April 5th, 2006 at 5:57 pm
miss anon: Ewww! I can’t stand overly pedicured toes. My friend Trout used to paint his toenails during the summertime. It disturbed me. Greatly.
goldennib: Oh no!!! The horrible sandals with socks trend. I’m not a fan.
AWE: YUMMY! I love a man with sexy legs. :)
MamaChristy: Really? 90 degrees? It’s only in the 30s here in New York City. I miss sunny weather.
Raymond: Mandal-wearing is okay in my book, too. :) Just not with fungus or dead skin … and that goes for both men *and* women.
ErikWithaK: Mmmmm, yes … Confidence. That’s *really* sexy!
Nics: Men in flip flops? Oh, that reminds me of California. You know, sunshine, guys in surfer couture (i.e. Billabong, RipCurl and Quiksilver), flip flops, beaches. Very nice!
Bro: Woman, you and your issues with feet. :) I don’t get it.
April 5th, 2006 at 6:45 pm
Keep the toes unexposed. PSA for the day. Thank you and good night!
April 5th, 2006 at 7:32 pm
Bro, you said it, feet are gross, this man tried to scratch my feet during a massage. I almost lost it. I also stand by my opinion mandals are a plague on the earth. Only about .0000000000001 percent of men can pull off mandals.
April 5th, 2006 at 7:51 pm
My dad calls them Jesus Slippers. I like the sound of that! Even typing it makes me laugh.
Mandals are ok on the young and hot. Stolie, I’m with you on this one. No old men in mandals.
April 5th, 2006 at 8:47 pm
I agree on the fungus and dead skin.
I just don’t have the Toes of Adonis.
April 5th, 2006 at 10:18 pm
Quite frankly if a guy’s hot I couldn’t care less what the hell his sandals look like. He can always take them off before we have sex.
April 6th, 2006 at 8:52 am
Berry: I *love* your Public Service Announcement. It even rhymes!! :) “Keep the toes unexposed.”
Mags: I have to disagree with you, partner. I think the problem is with the guys that don’t wear them properly, not the mandals themselves. :) I’m determined to convert you. Next time you come to NYC, we’ll go mandal-hunting, okay? As we walk down the street, I’ll point out the guys that are actually wearing them properly. I’m not joking! Get ready.
Pegs: Jesus Slippers? That’s so cute. :)
Raymond: Toes of Adonis aren’t necessary for mandals. But, men with fungus should remove it before making attempts to wear mandals.
Jay: You said, “Quite frankly if a guy’s hot I couldn’t care less what the hell his sandals look like.” My goodness! Have the Americans taught the world nothing?!?! Vanity, shallowness, and superficiality are EVERYTHING!!! :)
April 6th, 2006 at 10:19 am
I admit I like flip-flops. (It’s the California boy in me.) But I don’t like mandals/Jesus Sandals. I think all those straps and buckles are too fussy. Hey, I wear flip-flops to avoid fussy.
I read a nice little recommendation in GQ (ooh-la-la!) on the topic of sandals. The magazine recommends leather flip-flops for men, which I think is sharp paired with a T-shirt and blue jeans.
I think I’ll pick up a pair this summer.
April 6th, 2006 at 11:12 am
I happen to be wearing a pair of leather flip flops right now; At work even….
April 6th, 2006 at 2:38 pm
Some can wear them, some can not – just like any other article of clothing – personal hygiene plays A HUGE part. Like MamaChristy – I live in Texas – it’s a moot point they come out even when they shouldn’t.
A guy friend of mine wears them YEAR round!!! (YUK) That drives me nuts…in the winter on the occasional cold day he does the sock thing… ugh!
I love to go barefooted **gasp!** so is barefoot better or worse than the mandals/sandals?
Bro – hands and feet are the first things Notice – (uhm… when they have sandals on… I don’t go up to strangers and DEMAND to see their feet…. LOL)… and I admit – I like feet.
Although that awful commercial for antifungal cream where the virus is singing and…. I can’t go on AG!!!ACCCKKKK!!!
April 6th, 2006 at 10:24 pm
Andy: leather flip-flops, T-shirt, and blue jeans? S-E-X-Y!
ErikWithaK: Yeah, I’m a fan of leather flip flops. Classic. Stylish. Sexy.
ET: I like walking around barefoot in the comfort of my own home and when I’m standing in shallow waters at the beach. But, the first time that I saw a couple walking completely barefoot in an urban grocery store, I was a little freaked out.
April 7th, 2006 at 1:24 am
oh my goodness…mandals are the worse! Im in Seattle now and they are just everywhere.
April 7th, 2006 at 1:42 am
I was watching CSI last week and the two young guys Greg and Nick were talking about a girl Nick saw and he said that she didn’t have ugly toes and her second toe wasn’t longer than the first.
I shook my head.
April 7th, 2006 at 8:06 am
rcknrobin: You’re like my friend Mags. She can’t stand the sight of mandals.
raymond: Toes are in right now. I know at least one person who had corrective toe surgery to make her feet prettier. Ahhh, Vanity. It’s just as American as unprovoked, aggresive military action. ;)