Over the past year or two, I’ve been thinking a lot about how and why I pick the guys that I do. I know my current “flavor of the month” when I see it. He spends a lot of time and money to make sure that he has the right hair, teeth, clothes, and a hot body to boot. Hot NYPD Guy goes to the gym every single day of his life. Le Canadien keeps a huge vat of product in his bathroom and I think he spends upwards of $100 for a haircut; Blondie pays his colorist/stylist a fuckload of money to make his blonde highlights look au natural. But, the boys are hot. I’m so predictable in the types of guys that I date that Mags often tells me, “hey I saw a Twannaboy the other day.” Even she knows my type when she sees it. So, how do I find these guys?
I’ve told this story before, but I’ll tell it again here. Rewind. I’m dating a total pothead from Spain. I ask him how someone from Spain knows where to find drugs in the US. His reply? “People who want to find each other, find each other.” Druggies find drug dealers. Wife beaters find women with low self esteem. And, people who think that beauty is what’s on the outside find other people who believe the same.
I’ve dated hot guys because, well, I like the way they look. And, guess what they answer when I ask them: so, what made you approach me; what attracted you to me? (HINT: If you guessed that they say, “Because I think you’re hot”, you’re a winner.) Mags once told me, “you know, with the guys that you date, I think the initial attraction is just that you think he’s hot and he thinks you’re hot so you guys date so that you can be hot together.” But there’s a catch. Although the outsides are beautiful, some of the insides of the guys that I’ve dated are downright ugly. Le Canadien can be somewhat of a playboy. Blondie would actually scream at me when he got angry. And, when the ugly behavior behind the cute face rears its head: I split.
It’s like I’m setting myself up for failure. I date the hot guy. But, if he’s an asshole (and he usually is) I get out of the relationship because, well, it’s what’s in the *inside* that really counts. But, then I simply replace the old hot guy with a new hot one and repeat the cycle. Why? Because, *I* am just like *them*. I don’t think that I’m ugly on the inside, I don’t own a huge vat of product, I don’t scream at people, and I don’t display freakishly asocial behavior. But I, like them, believe that beauty is on the outside.
So, that’s the secret: believe it too. Go to the gym a lot and work out like hell because you believe that guys care more about your flat stomach and strong abs than they do about your passions and your interests. Wear cute clothes and high heels because you believe it’s THAT, not your intellect, that makes the guy walk from the other side of the room and come talk to you. Do all of these things to make yourself beautiful on the outside and, trust me, you’ll find the beautiful guy. Or, more appropriately: you’ll find each other.
