Almost two weeks ago today, Proof—hip-hop artist and comrade of Eminem—lost his life to gun violence. This is, indeed, a tragedy. In a statement, Eminem expresses his deep sorrow by saying, “Without Proof’s guidance and encouragement there would have been a Marshall Mathers, but probably not an Eminem and certainly never a Slim Shady.” The statement makes me think: what. the. fuck? I don’t doubt that Proof was a significant force in Eminem’s artistic career; however, Eminem / Marshall / whatever-the-fuck-he-wants-to-be-called needs to get over himself. There were “Slim Shadies” before him, and there will certainly be others after him. Folks, gather round for an exploration of “The Evolution of the White Male Rapper”:
Beastie Boys
Beastie BoysBeastie Boys
Never before and never since have Jewish guys from Brooklyn been so cool. Anyone who lived through the 80s knows that their song, “(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party)”, literally changed the music of the decade. Although technically a combo of rock/punk/rap, these guys are probably the first official “white male rappers.”
Vanilla Ice
OMG! Where do I even begin with this guy?!?! Remember “Ice Ice Baby”? The song topped the charts in the 90s; however, eventually, the ice thawed and Vanilla became the butt of every joke about white rappers. The show In Living Color aired a parody of “Ice Ice Baby”, called “White White Baby”, featuring a young Jim Carrey as Vanilla Ice.
Snow
SnowSnow
Who knew Canadians came equipped with “12 Inches of Snow”? Honestly, that’s just too much; I think it would hurt. But, anyway … Informer. You know sa dada da da data daaaada a licky boom boom now! NO ONE knew the lyrics to that fucking song. (By the way, In Living Color also aired a Snow parody video as well.)
Eminem
EminemEminem
Five white rappers later, Eminem emerges. Although he isn’t the first successful white rapper, he’s undoubtedly the first one that ever gained even an ounce of street cred and respect. Hey, he’s from Detroit. I hear the folks roll hard in 8 Mile. And, when Eminem raps about how tough he had it as a kid, I believe him. (NOTE: I saw Eminem in concert a few years ago.)
So, there you have it. Everything that you ever wanted to know about the history of the American White Male Rapper. Eminem wasn’t the first and he won’t be the last. Even Eminem himself predicts that others will follow in his footsteps: “I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley / To do black music so selfishly / And use it to get myself wealthy / (Hey!) There’s a concept that works / 20 million other white rappers emerge.” Now, I’m not so sure about his math, but he may be on to something with this whole “20 million other white rappers” stuff. Hmmm, I wonder who’s next …
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PS: For your reading pleasure, this post is also available in “White Male Rapper Speak”. Click HERE for an automatic translation courtesy of Gizoogle.com … Word to ya’ mutha!
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
Sigh…It was too good to be true.
I started reading this post and thinking, please don’t mention Vanilla Ice…please don’t mention Vanilla Ice.
Let’s kick it
Alright, STOP!
While I do up my laces
This sort of thing happens every show
I need to learn to tie a bow…
Jim Carey as Vanilla Ice..omg. I still laugh when I think about that one.
I agree with mel chickk, I remember Jim Carey doing the Vanilla Ice thing, it was way to funny.
I guess I’m from the wrong generation, but, I just don’t get the whole rapping thing at all…
Did you forget about 3rd Bass? Also this guy across the big pond:
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/v-echo/story/410880p-347610c.html
It is indeed with greatest pleasure that I unto you express my deepest and sincere gratitude to you, Funky Brown Chick, for appeasing my long-lived curiosity for the lyrical content of Snow’s “Informer”. Whilst the Compact Disc continues, alas, to remain within mine vast musical collection, I do indeed still ponder why it has remained intact and never absconded forthwith. I shall endeavor even now to commence with listening intently with yon iPod to “Informer” whilst reading along with your previously posted linkage.
(Ha! Let Google try to translate THAT into White Male Rap Speak!)
Don’t forget: Brian Austin Green, of 90210 fame, tried to be a white rapper, too. Emphasis on the word “tried”…
That was pretty funny. And that gizoogle thing is crazy!
My call for the next of the “20 million other white rappers emerge” is Plan B, from England, “dubbed the British Eminimen”
This post is hillarious, esp the Google version of it!…
I personally can’t stand Eminem; his songs are catchy I’ll admit but the attitude puts me off.
Raymond: Oh, come on now … You didn’t reeaaaly think that I’d write about white rappers and *not* talk about Vanilla Ice, did you? :)
Mel Chickk: I miss In Living Color!!
AWE: I mentioned the skit to Mags the other night, and she said that she clrealy remembers it too! It’s funny, but I swear *everyone* remembers that one. It was hilarious!!
Hanuman: Doesn’t music cross *all* generations. ;)
Anonymous: Oh, yeah!!!! I totally forgot all about 3rd Bass!!! I had to check out VH1 and Wikipedia because I only vaguely remember the “pop goes the weasel and the weasel goes pop song.” About The Streets, never heard of him. I’m not sure if he’s getting any air time on the American radio. Then again, maybe he is. I could be out of the loop on this one …
Howard: Glad you like the lyrics!!! :)
MamaChristy: Oh, Brian Austin Green is such a freakshow! How could I forget?! Quick, someone tell all of the actors in Hollywood that 99.98% of them should never, and I mean NEVER, attempt to sing. Remember Patrick Swayze? And, Don Johnson? Not hot.
Ddot the King: Thanks!! :) And, yeah, MamaChristy is the one who discovered the Gizoogle site and forwarded it to me. When I saw it, I *knew* that I had to use it for this post.
Mags: What?!?! The makers of the emergency contraceptive are rappin’ in England?!?!?! :)
Darwin: Thanks!!! :) And, yeah, Eminem is a special something. The attitute is a bit much, but his songs tend to be clever.
The next white male rapper needs to come up out of the South. Rap does best/is most honest when it’s bred from a desire to transcend poverty, and nowhere has more white poverty than the south. Just my 2 cents. =)
I can’t believe you forgot 3rd Base either. No one ever remembers them when they talk about white rappers. They were easily the best white rappers until the emergence of Eminem. They had as much street cred as anyone at the time. They rep’ed NYC, were anti-Hammer and Vanilla Ice, and were part of the Native Tongue Family (Queen Latifa, Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, etc.)
Anita: Yeah, I grew up in rural Mississippi and I lived in another southern state as well. I know what you mean about the poverty.
Carlos: Yeah, for whatever reason, 3rd Bass didn’t stay etched into everyone’s mind as well as Vanilla Ice did. Perhaps people remember the absurd more than the ordinary? And, really, it’s pretty hard to get more absurd than Vanilla Ice. :)
My personal favorite w(y)te rapper is Lil Wyte. Yes, “little white” is his name. And other than being white, I’m not sure what his claim to fame is. But y’all — he’s gonna be bigger than all these other guys. (hee, hee) Check him out: http://www.lil-wyte.net/home.html.
I just checked out his website. First sentence of his bio? “Lil’ Wyte is coming strong out of the dirty south with one of the tightest new albums of 2005, Phinally Phamous.” Um, yeah, he’s something, um … special.
The only white male rapper I’m into at the moment is MC Paul Barman, who might be better known as “Effeminem.”
“My pissed-off Jablowski turned three colors like Krzysztof Kieślowski
He said a hand job’s a man’s job,
yo’ job’s a blowjob…”
Beastie Boys as proto rappers?! PLEEEAAZZZ. They were not rappers. They were jewish frat boys with black management; what a novel idea at the time.
You forgot 3rd base The ones that sang
“Pop pop goes the weasel, the weasel, the weasel.
Pop pop goes the weasel, the weasel, the weasel.
Pop pop goes the weasel, the weasel, the weasel.
POp goes the weasel goes the weasel goes pop.”
They loved making fun of Vanilla ice!
And also what about House of pain?
Jump around Jump around jump up jump up and get down!
belledame222: Haven’t heard of him / her yet, but it sounds great! :)
Anonymous: I’m not saying that I disagree with you.
Erica: House of Pain!!! That’s right!! How could I forget about them???