Oops. Did I Actually POST That?!?!
Okay, to those of you who arrived at the Funky Brown Chick yesterday between the hours of 6:52pm EST and midnight, I want to say this: I’m sorry. Really. I mean it. I was just as terrified and frightened by what appeared here as the rest of you were. So, I guess an explanation is in order, huh? Okay, here it goes … Tuesday night. Sid and I exchange emails. “Hey Sid,” I write. “When are you free again? We should hang out soon!” She responds that she’s free the following day, Wednesday. We decide to meet up for drinks.
Wednesday arrives. At 7:30pm, we grab dinner. Rosemary roasted chicken for Sid, slices of medium rare tuna for Stolie. While we eat, we share wonderful conversations about work, life, love, and New York City. Are you with me so far? At this point, we are still fairly innocent, decent, upstanding human beings.
Fast forward. We’re at Prohibition — an upscale restaurant/bar with great live music. It’s 3:30am. Sid and I have been hanging out on the Upper West Side, and drinking, for almost 8 hours. Between the two of us, our drink total includes: 1 frozen margarita, 1 lemon drop, 3 beers, 2 dirty martinis, 8 French martinis and 3 or 4 chocolate martinis. All hell begins to break loose. I am not going to go into great detail; suffice it to say that our activities for the evening include: 1 nearly-spanked ass; 3 kisses from a US Marine who was on leave from Iraq; 2 falls onto the concrete pavement outside of the bar; kickboxing with a random stranger; and 2 penis gropes.
I’m not sure why, but at some point in the evening Sid and I start a discussion about audioblogging. “It’s so easy,” I explain, “that we could totally even do it right now.” And, because we’re so drunk, that’s exactly what we decide to do. And, if you heard it, you *know* that it was pretty scary …
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Shhhhh!!! I deleted the original post, but you can still click HERE to hear it … Remember to turn your speakers down. Really. I mean it.
May 4th, 2006 at 7:46 pm
Oh my dear sweet baby jesus lord.
you know, i was listening to these, thinking, “Oh, yeah, I can totally tell the difference between us now.” And then “I” said something about how to send the audioblog, which i obviously dont know, which means “i” was in fact you explaining it to me….
Anyhoosers, that was fun. we should totally do it again…you know, without all the extra booze and whatnot. Heh.
May 4th, 2006 at 8:16 pm
I’ve started a campaign for a BUI fine because of these. They frightened the dogs upstairs!
May 4th, 2006 at 8:20 pm
You sound like each other. Yes, an expert at stating the obvious.
May 4th, 2006 at 9:57 pm
Oh, Howard! That was priceless!
It’s nice to know that you are not only funny sober, but also drunk out of your gourd. Of course, drunk-Stolie and sober-Stolie are funny is very differnt ways…
May 5th, 2006 at 2:00 am
okay, there is NO WAY we had all that. First of all, when/how did we have 3 beers? did you have one at Prohibition? I didn’t. I can’t really account for the rest of it. I thought we only had like 2 or 3 french martinis each. as for the chocolates….
Hmph. I refuse to believe it. I think they tacked a few extras onto the bill for shits and giggles.
Okay, we seriously need to have a conference about the evening. Were there 2 falls? Marines? Penis gropes? Where in the hell was I during all the good stuff? Oh, that’s right. Outside on my ass. Hmph.
May 5th, 2006 at 2:02 am
Wait, and they charged for 2 dirty martinis?!?! I only had the one. Granted, they remade it because they made it with vodka the first time…
Oh, now i’m pissed. I was wondering how that bill got so high! Note to self: must remain sober enough to check bar tab…
May 5th, 2006 at 2:08 am
Sounds like you had a rip roaring time! Or a ripped time anyway…hee hee. Fun times, fun times!
May 5th, 2006 at 4:03 am
Nothing quite like an unplanned bender!
May 5th, 2006 at 6:55 am
Sid: Yeah, it’s pretty freaky. I didn’t realize how similar our voices sound until I heard this mp3. Pretty scary, huh?
Howard: Funky Brown Chick Dot Blogspot Dot Com: bringing the next nightmare to a house pet near you!! :)
goldennib: It’s weird, but we really do sound similar.
MamaChristy: :)
Sid: Sweetie, we did!! About the beers, after dinner but before Prohibition, remember we went to that local? That where we drank those. We had A LOT of French Martinis. I sat out a round or two because I had a water one round and a coke the other. I’m not sure about the dirty martinis; I can’t remember. I think there were two falls. I missed the first one because I was still inside the bar. The waitress came up to me and was like, “um … your friend fell.” I was like, “what?!?!” She goes, “Your girl … She’s outside on her ass.” The second fall was when I was outside.
You don’t remember the Marine?!?! We were standing outside. I don’t remember if those two girls came up to us first or the Marines. SURE you remember the Marine guy. Remember??? We were all outside talking. I didn’t believe he was a Marine. So, then, he showed us his USMC tatoo and his Marine ID Card. He even sang the Marine’s anthem!!! He started kissing me and was like, “Support the troops!!! Support the troops!!!” The redhead (I don’t remember her name) and I both stuck our hands into his underwear to give him “the test.” REMEMBER??? We soooo have to have a conference about this!!!!
Mel Chickk: Yeah, it was a lot of fun, a much-needed release. :) And, Sid is the coolest woman in New York.
lala: Ooooooh, “bender”. I like it. Is this Aussie or Canadian slang?
May 5th, 2006 at 8:35 am
I really need to come to NYC.
May 5th, 2006 at 9:17 am
HAHA! Girl just be glad you don’t have to get on an elevator to get to work. Hungover elevator rides are Nu-hoooooo fun.
My favorite part is the hysterical laughter in the background. Or the penis grabbing (it happens to the best of us). If I didn’t have a job and if I was wealthy enough to fly to NY and if it wasn’t totally weird and not smart and kind of unsafe to invite yourself to hang out and get lit with a fellow blogger you’ve never met I’d do all of that. =)
May 5th, 2006 at 9:45 am
’twas all in English, but I have NO idea what was being said.
Very similar to some of the phone calls we get in the callcentre on Friday nights, actually.
May 5th, 2006 at 9:51 am
All things are forgiven and forgotten when drink is involved.
May 5th, 2006 at 12:42 pm
He he… I just realized that you drunk dialed us. Really, we should just feel loved.
May 5th, 2006 at 12:57 pm
Ugh! Now I have to change the link on my blog to go here so I can continue my Blogging Under the Influence campaign.
MamaChristy, that’s EXACTLY what just happened. Cool!
May 6th, 2006 at 4:13 am
‘Bender’ is defnitely a Canadian term (you’ve really never heard it before??) and can lead to a condition called PBP – not to be confused with the dt’s – but it doesn’t sound like you have any symptoms….
May 6th, 2006 at 7:14 am
AWE: You should. It’s a great town. :)
Anita: I think I’m the one to blame for the hysterical laughter. As I heard it, I thought, “shit, is THAT what I sound like when I laugh?!?!” About the visit, if I were a millionaire, I would soooo throw annual “Stolie Parties” and invite my friends, family, readers, fellow bloggers, and everyone else to come party with me in some swank Manhattan locale.
Jay: Who the hell gets drunk and decides, “you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to call my local call center!!” That’s just plain silly. Whether or not it’s any more or less silly than … I don’t know … let’s say … someone audioblogging while drunk … well, that’s debatable. ;)
goldennib: And, that’s a good thing!! :)
MamaChristy: That’s exactly what I did. This must mean that I really love you guys!!! :)
Howard: Don’t be a hater. :) LOVE the BUI … not to be confused with the “boi” or the “dui” or the “dwb” or the “rsvp” … ;)
lala: Nope, never heard of it. What are they putting in the water up there in Canada? You guys do downright silly things to the English language. ;) … Whether or not the things you do are any more or less silly than the things that Bush does with the language, well, that’s debatable too. ;)
May 6th, 2006 at 3:41 pm
OMG…that is the funniest sh*t I have heard in a long time. At the risk of exposing myself for the wild child that I probably am, beneath the calm, cool exterior…DAMN! I love those nights!! And I don’t think you sound THAT much alike. I can tell the differnce, but then again I’m in radio.
You chicas rock on, somebody’s gotta keep it real ;-)
(especially now that I am teetoatling with a bunch of watercolor artists on Cinco De Mayo and going to bed early on a Bloody Mary instead of at the Gringo Tourist party with the rest of my people…damn, how far I have fallen)
May 6th, 2006 at 6:40 pm
Get back up and get out there woman!!! :) It’s never too late to have a wild night out. My sister is 6 years older than I am and I tell her this all of the time!!