Stolie 0, New York City 1
Hey guys. Sorry for the post-free day(s) and, to some of you, the unanswered emails. I received a bit of bad news, and I’m still kind of working through it all. Believe it or not, over the past few days, I’ve received three … yes, count them … three rejection notices for jobs that I really wanted. That’s the bad news. The good news is that I now know why I’m having a hard time finding a job in my field.
According the “Those Who Know”, apparently I’m at a weird place career-wise. I’m definitely not entry-level, and I’m not really mid-career either. So, when I apply for entry jobs, I get the “overqualified” schpiel. They’re afraid that I would only stay there a year and then leave when/if a job that better suited my skillset surfaced. And, they’re probably right. BUT, because I’m in the fairly early stages of managerial/executive, I get the “not enough experience” bullshit from that end. They don’t want to go out on a limb and hand over their division or department to someone they don’t know. Where does that leave me? Exactly where am I now. What do I need? In a word: connections. People are waaaay more likely to give you a try if they actually know you. This is exactly the reason why people from Chicago keep calling me to offer me jobs back home. “Just come home,” they beckon. Thus far, I’ve turned them all down. And, now, after receiving yet ANOTHER tip about a really good job in the 3rd City just a moment ago, I’m really starting wonder.
I’ve been hanging on, but at what point do you decide that enough is enough? I love New York. This is my city. No doubt about it. Still, if I’m really honest with myself, the past year kind of kicked my ass. And, the past four months have almost knocked me out. I’ve tried to stay strong through it all, but everyone has their limits. In life, there are things that are difficult and then there are things that are simply unbearable …
I’ll be back tomorrow once I’ve had a little more time to clear my head. In the meantime, brilliant ideas and/or comments from people who have been in that more-than-mid-but-barely-managerial-limbo are especially welcome.
June 1st, 2006 at 3:45 pm
Good luck Stolie! We are all pulling for you.
June 1st, 2006 at 4:01 pm
Shit Stolie,
Do these people have any idea what they are passing up by not hiring you? Apparently not, or they’d be jumping at the chance to get you on board, even if it was only for a short while.
In the end, you’ve got to do whatever is right for you, be it stay, go, or something else entirely… But we’re all pulling for you, and I’m sure things WILL work out for the best at some point in time…
Hang in there.
June 1st, 2006 at 5:12 pm
sorry no advice from me all i can tell you is to keep on trekkin and good luck!!!!!
June 1st, 2006 at 5:16 pm
Hey, I just had a brainwave (amazing, I know…)
Depending on how receptive the various companies were, why not phone them and talk to each company in turn and explain why in fact you are the best candidate; if they still say no, ask them if they know of any other positions either within or outside the company where your skills might be useful…
I had a boss once (it was a short tenure) who used to phone his most likely to hire list, AND tell them that they were not selected. They then had about 30 seconds with which to change his mind. In other words, if they wanted to job, they expressed it during the phone conversation.
If they just accepted the rejection without so much as a question or argument as to why, then they weren’t the person he wanted to hire…
Maybe it doesn’t make sense, and not knowing the whole story it is hard to give quality advice (from a Canadian no less ;)) but nothing worth anything comes without a fight…
June 1st, 2006 at 6:33 pm
Wow, good luck. I know the place you are in from the other side. We’re always hoping for a “perfect” fit. Mitch’s idea is a good one though, but maybe instead of a call, perhaps a well written Thank You letter that expresses your continued interest and how well you’d fit if they changed their minds (ie. once they go through a few other less lovely people.)
June 1st, 2006 at 6:59 pm
Maybe you could come back to City Number 3, move your career along to fully established manager, then move back to NYC in triumph.
June 1st, 2006 at 8:25 pm
I have no advice because I have never been in a situation like yours. I have never been on my own, I have never had to support myself, I have never had a career in any sense of the word, so just from that standpoint alone, you’re my hero! What ever you choose to do, keep your chin up girl. I think your awesome!
June 1st, 2006 at 8:29 pm
Sorry to hear about it, trust me I know how rejection feels (no luck finding a phd on this end either!)
You can either;
#1: grit your teeth and keep trying, hoping you’ll find something you like eventually. You could try Mitch’s idea and broaden your search. Ask around from your friends in NY if they know someone who knows someone who needs someone.
#2: Take up the job in Chicago, get the experience so that ‘not enough experience’ is NOT on the table anymore and then move back to NYC and land a job that shouldn’t be refused anymore.
Goodluck!
June 1st, 2006 at 9:29 pm
My advice: Go back to school full time!
June 1st, 2006 at 9:47 pm
Lovely, I have nothing new to add; all the other commenters beat me to it. If you feel called to stay in NYC, then the right thing will come along. It you are unsettled and upset, perhaps it’s time to move on and come back when you aren’t so in-between.
It’s so fucking unfair. Good luck and I’ll say a prayer for you!
p.s. – If you move, we still want you to blog! Most of us don’t love you because you are in NYC, we love NYC because you are in it! ;)
June 1st, 2006 at 10:46 pm
React the way Charlize Theron did in MONSTER, just start cussing and telling them that they don’t know fuck about you.
That’ll get their attention.
Then call Bro so she can help get together your bail money. :)
Seriously, I really thing interviewers like telling people that. I hate interviewing. But right now I am starting to hate my job, so I may end up out there too.
Tell you what, I’ll come there and we can get drunk and sing Blinded by the Light really loudly and off key until somebody calls the cops.
Then Bro can come bail us both out.
June 1st, 2006 at 10:50 pm
So with MamaChristy and johnjenright. Do what you think you should. We’ve got your back no matter what.
And if you do decide to come back to the Windy City, there’s nothing that says you can’t keep looking in NYC. New York MUST be more fun when you’ve got money to spend (a job).
June 1st, 2006 at 11:32 pm
Gurl pleeze…you have nothing to prove to the folks back home. If you receive an offer there that is out of this world…you’d be crazy to pass it over. We’ll understand and you can just keep the blog going from Chi.
-The Head Chef-
June 2nd, 2006 at 1:21 am
Stolie,
1. Pray!
2. Here’s a HUG!
3. Ok, so say you apply for the Chi town job. they offer it to you … you don’t HAVE to take it.
I’m in a similiar situation – sort of – I’ve got experince out the wazoo but just recently finished my degree so I’m “new” at being “certified”…. when I was offered the job I have now, my (now) former employer made a counter offer – but they did not meet my requirements so I left.
To me them dissing my requirements (and then offering them to my replacement I found out later) was a clear sign that I needed to leave.
Maybe as mamachristy says you are being called to a different direction… life doesn’t always go as we planned.. (LOL God I sound so cliche’)
so.. long story short – investigate further the CHI possibilities – maybe they have a satelite office or some connections in NYC that you can link up to.
and..as all your faithful readers … I’ll read from where ever you are blogging.
June 2nd, 2006 at 8:46 am
Everybody: THANK YOU for your words of encouragement!!
AWE: Thanks! I appreciate it. :)
Mitch & Goldennib: I took your advice, and I sent a really nice letter to one company in particular to ask if there was anything that I could do to strengthen my future chances. I’ll you know what/if they respond.
Dear Lovey Heart: Thanks for the well wishes and encouragement.
JohnJEnright, Pegs, and Darwin : I’ve thought about this. I think it’s my Plan B … take a job in Chicago and then move to New York after I’ve gotten even more experience under my belt. .. by the way, Darwin, come to the US for your PhD!!! Come to New York!!!
Mel Chickk: THANK YOU, sweetie!! :)
Darwin: Come to the US for your program!! Come to New York.
KP & Larry: This is Plan A.
MamaChristy: You’re great. And, I really believe in that philosophy … If you know in your heart that there’s something you want to do, chances are pretty good that that’s what you’re supposed to be doing. Thanks for your prayers!!
Raymond: Ooooh, I like this option!! :)
The Head Chef: Yeah, I’m not really out to please anyone (in Chicago, or New York for that matter) but myself.
E: (1) I’m on it. (2) Thank you. (3) GREAT idea … just because a job is offered, doesn’t mean it has to be accepted.
June 2nd, 2006 at 9:56 am
I apologise for being a little inebriated as I write this (I blame the time difference…) but I just wanted to encourage you to hang out just a little bit longer for what you want.
I too have moved cities (okay – countries) and knew I was in the right city but couldn’t find the right job. It took three years to get back to where I had originally beem but in the end it was worth it.
I don’t know why you left Chicago – but there must have been a good reason. Trust yourself – what is your gut telling you to do?
I’m behind you 100%. Just be true to what you believe and it will happen. Maybe not immediately – but it will work eventually.
I wish you all the luck in the world Stolie. Keep us posted on what you decide.
June 2nd, 2006 at 9:59 am
You are a WONDERFUL person. I should put that, “Just be true to what you believe and it will happen”, on my fridge. Thanks!
June 2nd, 2006 at 11:50 am
Sorry, Stolie, I’m behind on my blog reading and, of course, miss THIS! And I won’t sit here and say things like, “Rejection makes you stronger” and crap.
However, I will agree with Mitch. One of the major points in the book Knock ‘Em Dead is the “save”. They highly suggestion you do in fact contact them and ask why you were rejected and if there is anything you can do to make sure they know what a great candidate you are.
Of course, the magnitude (and there is ‘tude in magnitude.. had to throw a joke in heres somewhere. I’m getting all serious and shit) of your reply will depend on the industry. Stronger for sales, weaker for assistant roles. You get the picture. Writing an actual letter (did you snail or email? coz snail is considered ‘classy’ now believe it or not)is great. Nice touch.
If there is anything I can say that doesn’t sound overly schmalzy it’s this: “It’s not that you haven’t find the right company, the right company hasn’t found YOU yet.” Keep it up. If you love NYC as much as you say, NYC will love you back eventually. It’s a big city and it’s a little behind schedule right now giving love back.
Longest. Comment. Ever!
June 2nd, 2006 at 11:58 am
This post has been removed by the author.
June 2nd, 2006 at 12:00 pm
I feel your pain, sista…I have 11 years of documented professional experience, two degrees under my belt, and a great work ethic to offer, but I’m getting paid peanuts to do a job I’m so overqualified for, I’m bored sometimes to tears.
Maybe we should start a business of our own? Kick the world’s ass for a change…
Hang in there; you’re not alone. Sorry for the cliche’s, but I really believe they are true. You’ll get there!
Oh, did I mentioned I’m a perfectionist and over-achiever, too? Which is why I had to delete my last error-ridden comment. Shoot me now… Hehehe!
June 2nd, 2006 at 4:28 pm
Okay, misses. Just do what I did. Proclaim you are leaving this place for good, you can’t stand it, it’s making you mad. Then give it a month. You’ll get an offer you can’t refuse, lol.
But seriously, I know how you feel. Which you know. It’s haaaaaaard out here for a pimpstress. But you can’t leave! We’re not giving up, right? I’m borrowing your moxie, and making the city mine, too, since I’m going to be here a bit longer. And if it comes to it, we’ll both be hunting down our dreams and living side-by-side in hovels in…shudder…Queens…until we own this town.
:D
Buy you a cheering cocktail tomorrow afternoon, promise.
June 2nd, 2006 at 5:44 pm
Howard: Sweetie, you are GREAT! I love your words of encouragement. “It’s not that you haven’t found the right company, the right company hasn’t found YOU yet.” Hmmm … maybe finding the right job is a lot like dating. You say, “if you love NYC as much as you say, NYC will love you back eventually.” Ahh, but New York only gives you a little bit of love, then it takes it away, then it gives you a bit more, then it takes it away. Like my ex-beau, New York is gorgeous, sexy, rich … and it’s an asshole. But, it’s quite a loveable asshole. :)
AmyD: We SHOULD start our own businesses!! :)
Sid: You’re right. It did work for you! For a while, I swear I thought you were GONE, outta here, buh-bye. But, then, things worked out. That’s it … I have to stay, too. New York *NEEDS* us!! ;) … But, what’s this crap about Queens?!?! NEITHER of us should leave the island unless forcibly evicted. (In my case, this isn’t all that unlikely.) Funny story … the other day, I looked at an apartment in Astoria. (I’m not joking about eviction; my lease runs out soon and I need to find a cheaper apartment.) So, anyway, I get off of the train in Astoria, Queens. I ask a cop for directions. He tells me really quickly. But, I don’t know the area so I’m like, “wait, where is it, um, what, huh?” He goes, “Where are you from?!?!” I say, “Oh, I live in New York but in … um .. in Manhattan.” He frowns at me and looks annoyed. Ahhhh, the borough battles wage on …
June 2nd, 2006 at 8:39 pm
Imagine this. You could have Chicago and Manhattan at the same time.
June 3rd, 2006 at 6:52 am
VERY clever! Kotte is such an innovative / creative person.