I Gotta Go Pee Pee Dance
What’s the best way to end to an interview? Hop from one foot to the other, do the “I-gotta-go-Pee-Pee-Dance”, and then break into a sprint like a crazed lunatic. That’s how. Actually, wait a minute … let’s rewind so that I can explain. Yesterday. I wake up with laryngitis (i.e. “I couldn’t fucking talk”). I contemplate canceling the interview, but I decide against it. I can do this. To hydrate my throat, I down 2 cups of tea and 5-6 glasses of water before leaving the house. It helps.
I arrive at the company. Yada, yada, yada … I think the interview goes well. When it ends, we say our goodbyes and I head for the elevator. But, then, the tea and water begin to wage war against my bladder. I have to pee. I turn away from the elevator and head back to the company. “Um, excuse me,” I start. “Is there a bathroom in the building?” The Interviewers are like, “yeah … um … lemme find the key”.* They start looking for the key and it takes them like, no joke, 5 minutes. Or, at least, it seems like it does. So, I panic. I kind of start doing the 3-year-old-gotta-go-pee-pee dance. I’m shifting from foot to foot, pacing, and generally freaking out. (Slight exaggeration here.) They give me the key.
I’m off. I walk down the deserted hall and bump into a random guy who looks like Lurch. I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t know where the women’s bathroom is, so I walk quickly past him. I’ll find it. It has to be here somewhere. I keep walking. I turn down the next hallway. No bathroom. I walk faster. No bathroom. Another turn. Still no bathroom. Now, I *REALLY* have to pee, so I eventually hunch over and start sprinting through the halls like a lunatic.
When I find the bathroom, I jiggle the key in the door. It unlocks. I burst into the first stall. But, there is a woman already in there so she starts screaming. I’m like, “sorry sorry sorry”. But, with my voice, it only sounds like, “shour huychk schmaaaa”. I get my shit back together, go to the next stall, close the door, hike up my skirt, drop my yellow panties, plop down and sigh, “ohhhh myyyyy gaaaawwwd!!! This feels so good.” Immediately, I hear the woman in the other stall quickly exit the bathroom.
Sheesh … Glad that whole thing is over. But, I have to say—barring the whole Pee Debacle, I think the interview went well. I’ll let you know if anything comes of it. Until then, assume no news on the job front is bad news. Blogging about jobsearching gets kind of depressing. Hmmm … what else should we talk about these days? Feel free to make suggestions for tomorrow’s post topic.
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* For my non-citydwelling readers … Why the key? Hallway bathrooms in urban office buildings are often kept locked for security reasons.
June 6th, 2006 at 9:46 am
You my dear, are funny as hell! I know that dance, as I perform it rather frequently myself.
I’m sending you good-luck vibes on the job search *sprinkles pixie dust while chanting 401K, 401K*
Thanks for explaining the locked bathroom thing ’cause you KNOW we don’t do that here in the ‘Sip!
Tomorrow’s topic? I dunno – if I had one I’d probably use it myself!
June 6th, 2006 at 11:17 am
Lord, I could see it all happening. So sorry – though it was quite fun to read :) I know this ain’t much, but I’ll keep my finger’s crossed for you!
Fire
June 6th, 2006 at 11:33 am
I really did picture that!
Tomorrow’s post ideas: Something sunny-weather, friends and alcohol related maybe?
June 6th, 2006 at 1:22 pm
Nerd Girl: Yeah, my bladder is the size of a dime, so I’ve pretty much perfected the I Gotta Go Pee Pee Dance.
Firefly: Hey, anything to amuse my readers. :) Thanks for keeping your fingers crossed.
Darwin: Oooh, good idea … I could post about my weekend plans. Le Canadien and I are supposed to hang out. Also, a friend is back from an extended stay in the Middle East *AND* World Cup Fever is starting to hit NYC. This weekend should be fun. I can smell the alcohol already. :)
June 6th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
Hahahaa! That happened to me BEFORE an interview once, except for they had a number lock thing that you had to press #’s into in order to get in the bathroom. The front desk person told me the #, and by the time I found the bathroom, I had forgotten it, but was embarrassed and didn’t want to ask what it was again, so I decided I could hold it in until the interview was over. Well, I did, but by the time it was over, I was almost crying, and I KNOW I kind of rushed through it at the end. They must have thought I was nuts. I didn’t get the job, but I did learn my lesson: DON’T forget the damn number next time!! Ha!
Hope the actual interview went well! I’m sure you did spectacularly!! :o)
June 6th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
Hahahaa! That happened to me BEFORE an interview once, except for they had a number lock thing that you had to press #’s into in order to get in the bathroom. The front desk person told me the #, and by the time I found the bathroom, I had forgotten it, but was embarrassed and didn’t want to ask what it was again, so I decided I could hold it in until the interview was over. Well, I did, but by the time it was over, I was almost crying, and I KNOW I kind of rushed through it at the end. They must have thought I was nuts. I didn’t get the job, but I did learn my lesson: DON’T forget the damn number next time!! Ha!
Hope the actual interview went well! I’m sure you did spectacularly!! :o)
June 6th, 2006 at 3:29 pm
I wrote a fairly long comment earlier and Blogger ate it.
So I will just say that I hope you get it.
June 6th, 2006 at 3:52 pm
Awe, I hear ya. Blogger was a real bitch to me today, too, hence the 2 identical comments thing. Blogger can be a real whore sometimes…
June 6th, 2006 at 4:04 pm
AmyD: Yeah, there’s nothing quite like that, “I REALLY have to pee” feeling. It’s horrible, but the relief you get when you actually take a piss is so WONDERFUL!!! :) Sitting on that little white seat, I was the happiest woman in the world.
AWE: Blogger must be hungry today, because it took me AGES to get the whole post put up. First, it didn’t want to upload photos. Next, it just kept dying on me …
AmyD: I just thought you posted twice just so we’d all get a chance to see your pretty smile again. ;)
June 6th, 2006 at 6:57 pm
Hey
I can start running Depends ads on Monster.
June 6th, 2006 at 7:05 pm
Well, at least you were wearing yellow panties!! Way to think ahead, girl! ;)
June 6th, 2006 at 8:38 pm
Maybe it was the Hire Me dance, sort of like a rain dance and it will bring you luck. I’ll smoke a pipe for you.
June 6th, 2006 at 10:26 pm
True life is sooo much funnier than a sitcom. I love that you gave the panties color as if they were another character in your farce.
Bursting in on someone already in a stall: priceless
Personally, I think the handling of the pressure (pun so intended) is a good omen (yes, I used that word today) for this job. I hope you get the job simply so you can tell your co-workers that story. :)
June 7th, 2006 at 3:01 am
Hey Stolie,
I laughed so hard at your post, and I think we’ve all been in similar situations where we JUST HAVE TO GO!!!
I hope things went well with the interview AND that your voice held out…
And here’s to you, for no other reason that, well, you deserve to get something to go right for you, and soon…
June 7th, 2006 at 7:49 am
raymond: Actually, Bro told her mom what happened to me and you know what she said? “Maybe Stolie needs to start wearing Depends. You know, just a thought.”
Jill: :)
goldennib: I love it. “The Hire Me Dance”. Who knows … maybe it will bring me luck. I certainly need it.
Howard: We’ll see what happens. I’m still looking, posting for jobs and networking. I can’t believe it’s taking as long as it is to find a job.
Mitch: Thanks, sweetie. :) Yeah, I need something to go my way soon. Lately, I feel like I can’t get a break …
February 9th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
I WAS GONNA LEAVE A COMMENT, “BUT I GOTTA GO PEE”
March 17th, 2007 at 9:39 am
hey,when u gotta go,u gotta go.i dont blame you for drinking all that if you had laryngitis,i almost had the entire incent my self. actually i was wearing white pants though…i found the bathroom in no time.
March 18th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
Good thing that you did. :-)
June 8th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
why were u wearing yellow undies anyway? pee is yellow and well…
June 9th, 2007 at 7:38 am
Because I have panties in every color, and I’m free to wear yellow should I choose. :-)
June 11th, 2007 at 11:53 am
hey! this is puppy and u r at perfect liberty to wear yellow undies! i would talk longer but gotta go, BAD, if you know what i mean!
November 22nd, 2007 at 1:04 am
OMG, that was so funny! We’ve all been in that “I gotta go pee” situation before. I know I have. I’m one of those “When I’ve gotta go, I’ve gotta go” kinds of people. I can’t hold it very long. There’s a line in the movie “Paper Moon” where Tatum O’neal says “She must have a bladder the size of a peanut!” Well that’s me! I feel your pain.
Today, my Mom and I were shopping at Wal-Mart, and I suddenly felt the urge to go to the bathroom. I went over to the one in layaway because it was the closest. But when I got there, there was a long line outside the Ladies room. I decided to go to the one near the entrance, but when I got there, that bathroom was closed for cleaning! I remember saying something like “Dang it!” I hurried back to the bathroom in layaway, and stood in line for what seemed like an eternity. I seriously considered dodging into the Men’s room, but that would have been a no-no! I remember once my aunt and I went into the Men’s room at Applebee’s, but that was an accident. We both came out of there giggling after realizing we had gone into the wrong bathroom! But this time, I was actually desperate enough to go into the Men’s room on purpose. I didn’t, though. I was finally able to take my turn in the Ladies room. Boy, what a relief!
November 22nd, 2007 at 1:55 am
puppy: Yay, yellow panties!!!! ;)
Kelly1968: :-)
January 11th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
This story is hillarious it made me laugh so much that i have to pee now myself, gotta hold it to the end of comment.Something similar happened to me at the mall, I nearly peed myself but the relief was great I am going to pee now this was great
April 15th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
I’m off. I walk down the deserted hall and bump into a random guy who looks like Lurch. I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t know where the women’s bathroom is, so I walk quickly past him. I’ll find it. It has to be here somewhere. I keep walking. I turn fidelity 401k down the next hallway. No bathroom. I walk faster. No bathroom. Another turn. Still no bathroom. Now, I *REALLY* have to pee, so I eventually hunch over and start sprinting through the halls like a lunatic.