Soccer and Other “Eurofaggy” Things
Maybe soccer needs a makeover. I’m tired of being the only American in love with the sport. I mean, really, how many of you (Americans) even know that the World Cup is going on right now? Fewer than 95 million people watch the Superbowl each year. That’s about 25% of the American population. (And, trust me, we’re kind of like the ONLY country in the world that actually watches it.) By comparison, if you take the entire US population and times it by about three, that’ll give you the number of World Cup soccer watchers. Approximately 1 billion people watch the World Cup. That’s 1 out of every 6 people on the planet. It seems soccer is huge in every corner of the world except the US. And, I think I know why …
Your average American thinks soccer is “eurofaggy”. I’m not joking. Throw the word soccer out to a crowd of American guys and images of little 5-year olds in knee pads will dance through their heads. The consensus seems to be: wimps play soccer. And, it doesn’t help that the sport’s most recognized star is “a little blonde guy with a high-pitched voice who is probably gay”.
But, there’s hope. What we, us, the American soccer fans need is a super-fabulous all-American star to make the sport sexy. Steve Prefontaine did it for track and field. Tiger Woods did it for golf. Lance Armstrong did it for cycling. Really, no one in America cared about the Tour de France until Lance started winning it. Soccer needs an American hero. He has to be single, cocky, attractive (but not too attractive, not a pretty boy) and he has to win. He has to win a lot. Then, maybe, people would care.
Hmmm … on second thought, maybe Americans just need to get over the whole “eurofag” thing anyway. It’s obviously ridiculously homophobic and stupid. And, besides, I think most of the things that people call eurofaggy are actually really really great: vespas, Saabs, anti-war protests, wine, brie cheese, and pronouncing the word “quesadilla” like “KAY-SI-DEE-YA” instead of “KAY-SI-DILL-LA”. So, yeah, your proud eurofaggy soccer-lover is right here baby! ;) Bring it on; today, I predict Spain, Tunisia, and Germany will win …
June 14th, 2006 at 9:58 am
Well, if American hadn’t of got its ASS kicked by the Czech Republic, then maybe we have something to get excited about. But I don’t really follow the volleyball, Sweetie, just the guys kicking it around. Mmmm-hmmm, girl.
June 14th, 2006 at 10:44 am
Yeah, I know. :( It’s kind of like the chicken and the egg. There’s isn’t really any strong financial backing for the US teams, so they tend to lose international competitions. And, they lose international competitions because they don’t have support. Still, I have hope. If Lance could do it for biking, someone can do it for soccer.
But, let’s talk about this “hottie player” thing … I *SOOOOO know what you mean. Soccer players have the BEST bodies in the world. Last weekend, I really liked seeing Beckham, Paredes (ignore the goofball eyepatch in the picture) and Ferdinand in action the most. GREAT bodies!!!
June 14th, 2006 at 10:59 am
I used to play before I got seriously into baseball in my teens. I haven’t gotten into watching any of the games this year but if I catch one on I will watch it. I hate the time delay thing, that is what killed the Olympics.
June 14th, 2006 at 11:00 am
And sometimes… just sometimes… their junk pops out. tee-hee.
June 14th, 2006 at 1:19 pm
You’re not alone Stolie!
I love the game!(and the players… :P)
June 14th, 2006 at 2:29 pm
Will the US change and suddenly start liking soccer? Unlikely, my dear. About as likely as New Yorkers will suddenly start calling “How-ston” Street by it’s proper pronounciation. :)
June 14th, 2006 at 2:34 pm
I don’t think soccer is “Eurofaggy.” That’s lacrosse. Just kidding.
I’m just have extreme difficulty giving a shit about sports in general.
June 14th, 2006 at 2:57 pm
eurofaggy! That’s better than sliced bread.
June 14th, 2006 at 8:36 pm
I don’t have a darn TV and I can’t watch the matches online as my stupid ISP blocks them, argh!
Of course I can head to a pub and watch it over a nice cold drink, but even I draw the line at daily alcoholism. I think I’ll save myself for the exciting matches that will be coming up closer to the finals!
How anyone can actually prefer american football and baseball and stuff and NOT like soccer just beats me. I confess I do not follow the premiership games but I do watch the world cup because it is so exciting! Some of the players are quite yummy to watch too:D
June 14th, 2006 at 11:01 pm
AWE: This year, I think all of the games are real-time. For example, they air 6pm (Munich) games at 12pm (New York).
Howard: Okay, I have *never* seen anyone’s junk pop out. Note to self: Must. Watch. Screen. Closer. ;)
Hanuman1960: YAY!!!! Fellow soccer-lover!!! :)
MamaChristy: But, it *is* How-ston. ;)
Raymond: You’re funny. :)
ErikWithaK: I love it! :)
Darwin: Yeah, baseball and (American) football bore me. Actually, truth be told, soccer is the only sport that I really like to watch on television. And, even then, I like the Euro and World Cup games the most. Soccer has the sexiest players. Have you *seen* the Italian team?!?!?! :)
June 15th, 2006 at 12:23 am
They make the game worth watching!
By the way I did another movie quotes trivia thing on my blog in case you wanted to go for it, since you missed it the last time I had it up!
June 15th, 2006 at 5:36 am
Soccer players are the best All-Around atheletes. And they are hot.
June 15th, 2006 at 6:07 am
Americans who deliberately mispronounce non-English words because they’re Americans and think they don’t have to make an effort are downright stupid.
June 15th, 2006 at 9:46 am
I didn’t know David Beckham was gay! What must Posh think?
June 15th, 2006 at 10:30 pm
Darwin: TOTALLY!! :) And, yeah, I’m bummed that I missed the Trivia. Next time, Sage is going DOWN!! :)
goldennib: You’re right. They are the hottest, aren’t they? The Italian team is *filled* with winners this year.
Raymond: :)
Tonito Bandito: Yeah, I don’t care what people say, the really don’t think the man is gay. But, who knows … if he is, he’d would be the first person who married a het because of pressures to conform.
June 16th, 2006 at 10:30 am
Sweets, seriously, when the World Cup nears it’s close, you should head out to the soccer-obsessed region of Astoria Queens. A land where all the bars and cafes are open al odd hours and hoards of men on all European, South American and Central American shapes and sizes are glued to the TVs with either pints of beer or bowls of Muesli, depending on the time of day.
Then, if the winner has neighborhood representation, look out! It’s a take-to-the-streets mayhem with flags and booze and honking car horns and happy madness. For days. And days. And days.
It rocks!
June 16th, 2006 at 4:19 pm
That’s it. I’m moving to Queens! :)