A Man’s Relationship With His Eyebrows
Picking up where we left off a few days ago … Never trust a man who waxes his eyebrows. Never. I’m serious. Straight men who pluck, wax, or otherwise shape their eyebrows freak me out. The Village Voice detected this disturbing trend almost 5 years ago. And, if anything, it is growing, not going away. Beware. The Meticulously Plucked Manbrow promises to make its way to a city near you if it has not already. “Stolie,” you might ask, “what’s wrong with a man with plucked eyebrows?” In a word? EVERYTHING. And, you know, it has nothing to do with sexuality. I don’t think men with overly plucked eyebrows are secretly gay or on the so-called down low; I just think they are straight men with very very poor tastes in personal grooming. It looks gross! It’s manscaping gone awry.
In general, men just shouldn’t pluck their brows. But, of course, there are exceptions. An über-hairy man who gets his eyebrows plucked, waxed, or lightly groomed to tame the beasts and/or eliminate unibrow? That’s different. That’s hot. That’s sexy. A man who plucks, waxes or trims his caterpillars to get them shaped into two little, pretty, perfectly-rounded arches? Shoot him! … Hold on, hold … let me just think about this for a moment … A. Man. With. Massively. Over-plucked. Eyebrows? Errrrgghh, I can’t stand it! I’m going to end this post right now because even writing about it is kind of sort of creeping me out. Sheesh! The things I put myself through for you guys!!! But, before I go, I have just one quick question for all of you. What’s your call? When you see a guy with plucked eyebrows, do you think it’s hot … or not?
July 5th, 2006 at 1:24 am
PS: Hope you all had a great 4th.
PS: Did you *notice* how I refrained from mentioning how exciting the Germany-Italy game was????
PS: And, did you notice that I didn’t mention how hot Luca Toni is either?!?!?! ;)
July 5th, 2006 at 5:19 am
I find a man with overly plucked/waxed brows a big turnoff.
July 5th, 2006 at 6:03 am
Euw, no, yuk.
July 5th, 2006 at 9:38 am
My eyebrows are blonde and grow wildly, I have to trim them about every other week when I trim the ’stache. I don’t wax them, just use the mustache trimmer to cut the long ones.
July 5th, 2006 at 10:19 am
Thank the heavens above that this is NOT an issue in Mississippi. Yet. For the record – I would have to say that I can’t imagine waxed eyebrows being appealing on a man.
July 5th, 2006 at 12:05 pm
You crack me up Stolie!
Here I was, ready for a recap of the soccer game, an idea of how great your long weekend and July 4th was, a post on how hot some dude was at the soccer game…
And you come up with a post on men with overly plucked / waxed eyebrows!
Too funny – you made my morning.
July 5th, 2006 at 2:30 pm
How about this: overly plucked or waxed eyebrows look bad on everyone, not just men. It’s all about knowing when to stop.
July 5th, 2006 at 3:06 pm
May I offer into evidence, Julian McMahon, whose awful portrayal of Dr. Doom in the not-so-fantastic Fantastic Four I barely noticed because I couldn’t stop starting at the gorey car wreck of over-pluckedness he calls his eyebrows. I was soooo happy when he put on his mask.
July 5th, 2006 at 6:08 pm
I don’t think I’ve seen this yet …. however I’ll ask my friends to see if I still have my “small towns” on.
July 5th, 2006 at 8:02 pm
Hi Stolie,
Sorry it’s been ages since I commented – I’ve been doing the read-and-run since time has been short and I dislike commenting without thinking my comments through.
About the overplucked-ness… ew! I understand completely if a guy has eyebrows that are out of control and he grooms them so they’re more normal-looking, but any further than that and I’d say definitely no. Thankfully I haven’t really seen much of this where I live. Or maybe I don’t pay enough attention.
However, as mamachristy said, anyone can have overly plucked eyebrows, not just guys! I think the natural (not wild, necessarily! :P) look is best.
July 5th, 2006 at 8:52 pm
Thanks for refraining from commenting on the game… everyone here (including me) is super-depressed about the outcome, and I probably would have had to hit the back button on my browser. Very quickly. :)
Being the Germanophile that I am, I have to say I quite liked your use of the word “über”. Germans don’t use it like that, but I love how it fits into the English language quite nicely.
What was this post about? Oh, right, plucked eyebrows of the masculine persuasion. I’m definitely, definitely against that. Is it okay, though, when I occasionally pluck my boyfriend’s eyebrows? I SWEAR I don’t overdo it, ever. Because that is NOT hot.
July 5th, 2006 at 8:56 pm
Thanks for not commenting about the game. Everyone here’s so depressed about it (me included) that I don’t think I could have taken it… I would have hit that back button quickly.
Nice use of the word “über”, by the way. As a self-proclaimed Germanophile, it’s just my duty to say that.
Um, what was I supposed to respond to? Oh, yes, plucked eyebrows of the masculine persuasion. I’m definitely, definitely against that. But is it okay if I occasionally pluck my boyfriend’s eyebrows? It’s better than letting him do it himself and I SWEAR I don’t ever overdo it. Because that would be, like, gross.
July 6th, 2006 at 8:25 am
channel: Me too!!
goldennib: Yeah, I don’t know why guys do it.
AWE: Okay, in the questions of “hot or not” you fall into the “hot” category. Light grooming is fine. It’s kind of sexy. It’s the overkill that’s gross …
Nerd Girl: Oh, it will come to Mississippi eventually. Remember … I’m from Illinois; I know how it works. The trends start on the coasts and they make their way into the middle of the country over time. I think the kids in rural Illinois are still wearing hypercolor T-shirts.
Mitch: Yeah, I had a kick-ass 4th of July!! And, yes, I’ve been watching all of the games too. But, I decided to write about the eyebrow thing instead because it’s been on my mind ever since I mentioned Cristiano Ronaldo’s brows a couple of days ago.
MamaChristy: You are totally right!!! Overplucked brows don’t look good on *anyone*.
Howard: Okay, in *that* picture, his brows don’t look as bad as others.
E: If it’s not there, it’s coming soon.
kypris: “The read-and-run”. I love it!!! I’m gonna use that phrase sometime. :)
Kyla: Yeah, I was really sad when England lost, too. But, in any case, it’s good that Portugal is out too. And, what was up with them sending their GOALIE down to the other side of the field to play at the last minute. I guess I understand the strategy (1 man up, additional player), but that was just ODD. I was like, “who the hell is the guy in blue?” For a moment, I thought a crazed fan had joined the field … Oh, yeah, and … as long as you don’t overdo it with your boy’s brows, it’s okay.
July 7th, 2006 at 6:19 pm
I’m with mamachristy too. Plucked eyebrows=strange-looking, regardless of gender.
July 7th, 2006 at 8:20 pm
Ditto. It’s possible for men *and* women to overpluck. :-)