Parents Caught You Having Sex?
Today is the final day of “Dating Week“. Actually, wait a minute, back up. Technically, “Dating Week” ends on Friday, and there are two remaining questions: (1) The Genius wants to know why people like to be treated like crap and (2) Pegs wants to know when dates should be introduced to parents. I’m gonna take a pass on the first question. We kind of answered it with “why do women date assholes” and “bitches … men love them“. I’d love to talk about it more, but I can’t think of anything else to add.
So, parents it is.
I don’t really have any funny stories about introducing exes to parents. But, my guy friend Scooter once had his parents walk in on him having sex with his girlfriend. Of course, that’s a pretty fun story. But, it’s his — not mine. So, um, yeah, I got nothing for you. How about you? Anyone else have any thoughts on the parents question … Or, of course, feel free to share stories about parents (or others) walking in on you having sex.
September 28th, 2006 at 5:13 am
Parents catching you having sex? Try GRANDPARENTS!
So there we were going at it and his granmother BUSTS into the room. We scramble to get ourselves covered and she stands in the doorway talking to us for about 5 minutes, all the while my boob is poking out from under the tiny bit of sheet I was able to gather.
Oh, an I’m meeting my man’s parents this weekend for the very first time… I’ll let you know how that goes..
September 28th, 2006 at 5:34 am
Yikes, I got a ROYAL telling off for saying SEX when I was really young.. and what I trying to say was SIX, it just came out wrong. Try telling that to your conservative parents. Do you think i’d have girls in my room with my parents around… hell no!!!
September 28th, 2006 at 7:23 am
When I was in school there was this guy I used to have sex with, and I met all four of his parents all the time. I don’t know if they ever suspected what we were doing in his bedroom though.
As an adult… five relationships in and I’ve never been introduced to any parents. That said, my first boyfriend’s parents are dead and he did bring me home to his sister and nieces and nephews, but it’s not the same.
September 28th, 2006 at 8:24 am
I never had the parents catch me, but I did have my brother walk in one time. He just acted like he didnt’ see a thing.
September 28th, 2006 at 8:35 am
Little A: GRANDPARENTS?!?!? GROSS!!! I would have died. Of, actually, with their age, you’re lucky THEY didn’t die from the shock. ;) And, ooooh, you’re meeting his parents? Blog about it once it’s done!! :)
Momok: You had sex for the first time when you were 6? I was a slow learner in the whole dating and mating department. I didn’t have sex for the first time until I was older. It was with a 1/2 Danish, 1/2 British boy in England. So, my addiction to the boys with accents started quite young. :) I’ve had a preference for imported dick ever since.
Jay: Five relationships and no parent meetings? No too bad. I’ve had five “serious” relationships, and I’ve only met the parents once. Of course, they were the parents of The Guy That I Almost Married. I loved them. Sometime, I even wonder if I loved them more than I loved him. Even now, I still miss them.
AWE: Your brother walked in on you? And, he didn’t say ANYTHING???
September 28th, 2006 at 9:26 am
Nope never had the parents catch me at anything since I don’t live at home you see;)
I did have a friend whose parents left the house for the weekend and he decided to walk around the house naked and jerk off once they left (don’t ask). His parents walked in on him 5mins later as they had forgotten to take their passports or something. There he was, butt naked and dick in hand with a complete shoot-me look on his face apparently!
September 28th, 2006 at 10:50 am
No, not my parents. But when we were in college, J’s room mate would walk in on us about once a month and we always pretended to be sleeping (unsuccessfully, I think, in hindsight).
September 28th, 2006 at 11:14 am
Again, in this department I’m boring. I, having grown up Mormon, didn’t have sex for the first time until I left home and was in the Navy (at the age of 21), so there were no parents around — just Big Brother.
Although each parent did at different points in my life both catch me masturbating. My mom when I was like 6 or 7 (yes, I started early) and my Dad when I was 18 or 19 — THAT one was the embarassing one.
September 28th, 2006 at 3:16 pm
Never got caught by the parents because I am such a prude that I wouldn’t even begin to think about having sex when my parents are around.
I did once my Sr. Year in High School get caught making out with my high school sweetheart because my parents came home from a baseball game early. That was embarrasing enough….I choose not to repeat that experience ever again. I remember him turning red and running out, my dad acting all grouchy (while he was probably secretly elated that I wasn’t have sex), and the rest of the weekend being grounded for having a boy in the house while the parents were gone.
That is the closest I have….
September 28th, 2006 at 6:11 pm
Oh, I got SO busted once…but not in the act. Allow me to briefly explain.
When I was 19 I had a boyfriend who lived out of town. My mother knew we were doing it, and when he stayed over (in my room with me, she was very modern) she let me know that under no circumstances were we to do it while she was home–understandable–and when she wasn’t home we were to do it ONLY in my room –understandable but at 19 completely impossible. First of all, we wanted it do it EVERYWHERE because we were young horndogs and secondly because the only TV was in her room.
So one day, we lose our heads and do it in her room. On her bed. I felt about it, so I decide the best thing to do is throw all her linen in the laundry. Nice, right?
So we are putting the bedding back on her bed and realize that her comforter is striped and we cannot remember which way the stripes go. This is what being young and horny does to your brain: turns it into oatmeal. We are freaking out, and know that we only have a 50/50 shot.
We got it wrong. So very, very wrong. I was in so
much
trouble.
September 29th, 2006 at 1:07 am
Thank god that never happened to me. The humiliation….what if you are trying to have a three- or four-some or some weird position of the kamasutra.
September 29th, 2006 at 8:43 am
Darwin: I would **DIE** if anyone in my family walked in on me masturbating. Having said that, in college, I had hotel sex with my one of my boyfriends while his friend was sleeping in the next bed over.
MamaChristy: That’s cute! :) “No, no, we were just sleeping.”
Howard: YOU GREW UP MORMON?!!?!? I didn’t know that. Maaaan, I need to read your blog more closely!!
History Chic: The Guy I Almost Married and I had sex in his parents’ house all the time. But, they’re European. Things are different over there.
missb: Oh. My. Gawd!!!! She must have freaked out.
Papigiulio: You’re luck that it’s never happened to you.
September 29th, 2006 at 9:26 am
A friend of mine was living at home temporarily after grad school. She was going out for the evening but discovered after leaving she had forgotten something. She walked in the kitchen door and there was her 50+ year-old mother in nothing but a T-shirt (big woman with enormous breasts). Feeling awkward to say the least, my friend blurted, “What are you doing?” Her mother replied, “I’m ENJOYING myself, what are YOU doing coming back right now?”
My friend never left the house again without making sure she had everything she needed for the evening.
Little twist on getting caught.
It never happened again
September 29th, 2006 at 10:04 am
I’m sure it didn’t! :) That had to be embarrasing for all parties involved.
September 29th, 2006 at 10:42 pm
We got caught by his parents. We were at his brothers house out in the country. The front door didn’t have a lock so we put a big rocking chair in front of the door, yeah, like that was going to stop anyone from coming in. We were both undressed, in bed, and I hear the front door open. In walks his dad. I jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom. He tried to get dressed before his mom walked in. I can stil clearly remember, and this was like 30 years ago mind you, him standing there…in front of his parents…stammering…uh…uh…we weren’t doing anything, we were watching the Olympics (1976) on the TV in the bedroom! Funny now, but then it was beyond horrible. Especially when I think about how I was only 16. I would KILL my daughter. My mother-in-law will still bring it up every now and then just to torture me. :)
September 30th, 2006 at 12:13 pm
AWE’s brother was probably doing him a favor and expected the same in return, should the situation arise.
September 30th, 2006 at 12:42 pm
I still don’t have answers about when is the appropriate time to meet your partner’s parents, people!
October 1st, 2006 at 10:29 pm
Mel: That’s a funny story!
Raymond: You’re probably right.
Pegs: Sorry for the distraction. :) I guess I’d have to say that the best time is whenever both parties are ready for it. :)
October 3rd, 2006 at 6:28 pm
Ah, Pegs, having laughted my butt off at all these stories (and *knock on wood* never having been caught)I’ve decided maybe the best time is before they catch you in the act…
just a thought.
carry on…
October 20th, 2006 at 12:35 pm
Me and my friend/lover get up this morning to see a note that reads. Alex and Rachel. I need to talk to you today after school. Mom. Of coarse last night we were having sex in the room above thiers. She has talked to me before about messing around in her house and says it is prohibited. I’m 19 she is 20. Our sexuality attracks like two magnets. I would like to please my mother and my friend?
December 8th, 2006 at 6:59 am
Eddie: And a very good thought indeed! :)
Alex: Interesting, you know, that whole friend / lover combo thing.
March 23rd, 2008 at 4:15 pm
i got so busted… twice!! i was only thirteen and me and my bf (15) were just messing around, touching, kissing, the usual and he started getting very touchy feely. we actually started having sex on his bed and his dad walked in! He was all like “oh my god!” but then he gave his son a thumbs up and he gave me a wink and i was totally grossed out. i had to stay that night for dinner and the whole time his dad was laughing and looking at us all funny. i never went to his house when his parents were home AGAIN!!
okay also another time with the same guy: okay so he finally got his license and one night he pulled up to the side of his house and we started making out. i was practically on top of him (without my shirt on AND my bra unhooked!!) when his brother comes out to go to his own car. i guess he saw his (younger) brother’s car on the side of the house and he tapped on the window. i immediately held my shirt up to my chest and he was all “um nice to see you natalie” i was mortified and his older brother gave him a high five and whispered something in his ear. i’m 15 now and i still have no idea what his brother whispered to him.
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Hmmm, okay, so, this blog is really for the +18 crowd …
June 9th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
What is a safe way to do “stuff” with someone while your paretns are home???
June 9th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
If you’re still at home and worried about your parents walking in, you’re probably too young to read this blog. 18+ only please.
If you want teen sex advice, I highly recommend Violet Blue’s “under 18″ section of her site.
July 6th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
My mother works at a pharmacy and knows my fiance and I make good use of the contraceptives she refills for me (a little awkward in it’s own right I suppose) but I don’t really even live at home any more. But we just came back from a family vacation with the other side of the family and went to my house first so I could take care of my mother’s dog (she had called earlier to have me let the dog out)and, what the hell, we had an opportunity and we took it. In my room with my condoms and hey, there’s a ring on my finger and I don’t feel guilty.
When he went to wash up though, in my mother’s bathroom of course, he left the tied up USED condom sitting on the toilet.
Her and her boyfriend came home last night while I was there (and my fiance had left to unpack our stuff at his house) and asked who else was here. What was worse was that HER BOYFRIEND was the one that found it.
We have sex, honestly a couple times a month but I think my mother now thinks we’re doing it all the time when she’s not around. I could use a little advice here about handling the situation from here. I left last night completely mortified on the note: “This isn’t your motel.”
Hopefully we can laugh about this in a few years.
July 7th, 2008 at 1:18 am
Ooooh, that’s a tough one! I sooo don’t know the relationship with you, your mom, her boyfriend and your fiance so I’m loathe to give out useless, general advice. But, my fingers crossed are crossed for you and I hope it turns out okay!! :) If it just happened, it probably seems like a much bigger deal than it is. Like you said, “hopefully [you'll] laugh about this in a few years.”
July 9th, 2008 at 12:09 am
Wow. Um yea just the other day… My Girlie friend and I were going at it. Mind you this was right after she got done crying about having something stuck in her eye. So i was trying to make her feel better =). her mom (who lives behind us across the alley) decided to come over and invite us for dinner. Walks in completely uninvited and walks up to our room and opens the door. I Just sit up( with my girlfriend still on my lap region) and just point to the door. My mom blushes and walks out… She hasn’t said a thing to me since.. (12 days now.)
July 9th, 2008 at 12:09 am
wow didn’t mean to say her mom at the top. It was my mom.
July 9th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
weird how theres a gap in this blog from 2006 then more comments from 2008..anyway besides the point! Remembering back got court 2 much when i was young and foolish! Started far 2 young…got court by both parents of mine and girls parents. At mine…dad walked in with her legs spread wide in the air…comfronted me later and stated ”make sure your more careful dont want mum catching you”. At girlfriends house…not as bad as she had skirt on so we just kinda pulled away from each other and went red!!Thank God it was her mum not dad…back then he would have killed me! Many more occasions i could have written about… i was a horny lil boy in my youth!
July 10th, 2008 at 12:04 am
I went and apologized to her boyfriend and his response was pretty much “hey it’s cool, you guys are adults but…” his son was staying with us and went in her bathroom and saw it; That was really his only concern. He’s very laid back and non-judgemental. My fiance and I both went to him and apologized sincerely and talked briefly about how it won’t happen again and how it happened in the first place.
My mom on the other is angry and has said some pretty nasty things to me. I think the idea of us having sex in the house makes her mad because she doesn’t see me home often and he (my fiance whom I stay with about 90% of the time) has a big family. I think that because of this, she thinks I’m using our house as a “sleazy motel” as she put it even though that’s absolutely not the case.
I should mention that she was a whole lot younger than me, and she HAD ME younger than I am now so I’m finding it to be a bit hypocritical and a bit confusing since she works as a pharmacy tech and fills my birth control *scratches head in confusion* She can’t be so shocked and upset that her ENGAGED, 20 year old daughter has sex every once in a while (at home)?
Now that I’ve told you my life story, anyone care to shed some light on the subject of angry mother?
July 17th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Does anyone have any advice for me? … Here’s my story … My bf and i have been dating for about 7 months now. We dated a year ago all summer as well; so as you can see, we definately mean a lot to eachother. well, he, being in college, would come home on weekends to visit me. and since the station was a second from my house, he would stay with us for the weekend. well this whole summer, he has lived at my house. my parents LOVE him. but today… my dad came home from work and walked in on us having sex. my father has done some really terrible things for our family because he has anger issues. so he screamed at my bf to leave and hit me. and it was just a mess. my dad left with his clothes and everything and now says he wont be coming back home ever again. what do i do?
July 18th, 2008 at 7:48 am
@ Anonymous: Couple things. First, although I’m always happy when people find my site, it’s really for 18+. I’m not saying that people younger than 18 can’t or shouldn’t have sex. I’m just saying this site is sooooo not for you. The content isn’t written for you, and I don’t have any resources for you on these pages. However, that said, again, I HIGHLY recommend Violet’ “under 18″ section of her site:
@ Bobby: Funny story.
@ DarkBoy: You said, “Many more occasions i could have written about… i was a horny lil boy in my youth!” Nothing wrong with that!
@ Liz: You said, “She can’t be so shocked and upset that her ENGAGED, 20 year old daughter has sex every once in a while (at home)?” She might have known you were having sex but didn’t want to actually “see” it, you know? Who knows …
September 18th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
To Anonymous:
First of all, the fact that your father did that is sooo not your fault. It sounds like he needs some serious professional help and I think you guys need to get in touch with a counselor.
If you’re old enough to be having sex, you’re certainly too old for a spanking and that doesn’t sound like it was even the case. My mom was abusive until I was late into my teenage years and it took me moving out for a year to make it stop.
You need to know: It’s not YOUR fault or YOUR responsibility to fix on your own. I can certainly understand any parent being upset in his or her own way but that is definitely unacceptable.
Unfortunately, it is your father’s prerogative to leave if he so chooses to, not that it makes it right, and who knows, maybe he’ll come to his senses and if it means you don’t have to worry about being hit, it may even be better for you.
One big recommendation (though I did get into a lot of trouble for this and my mom busted through a few) is to get a lock for your door. Keep an emergency bag packed at all times (in your car if possible, if you have a car) with money and a plan should you so need it.
One last reiteration*** Get some professional help. Call your primary care physician and ask for a recommendation/referral for a counselor and START GOING TO ONE, if not for your own sanity, at least a way to learn techniques to cope. They are qualified to handle situations like this, whereas me and the other good people on this web site, as great as the advice is, are not.
good luck and take care!