As you probably already know, Usher recently performed in the Broadway musical “Chicago”. He was Billy Flynn — the same role that Richard Gere plays in the movie. Anyway, so, several days ago, Usher gets a case of strep throat and the run has to end a couple of days earlier than expected. A lot of people are mad and they want their money back, but I think: “Hey, the guy makes his living by using his voice; if he needs vocal rest, give him vocal rest.” And, just to tell you how incredibly odd my train of thoughts is, my next thought is: “I wonder if Usher’s still mad at Justin Timberlake for stealing his style?” And, my next thought is: “Hmmm … if Usher and Justin Timberlake were ever in a slapping contest, I wonder who would win?”
Slapping. If you’ve ever watched a French film, any French film, you’ll notice that the French tend to slap each other. A lot. But, then again, isn’t slapping “in” here too? I mean, ages ago Zsa Zsa Gabor slapped a cop, right? And, Shanna Moakler recently slapped Paris Hilton. Hmmm … Did you see the movie Fight Club? There’s this one scene where Brad Pitt asks Ed Norton: “If you could fight anyone, alive or dead, who would you fight?” Let’s do the same here, but with slapping instead. Me, first. If given the chance (and if I supported ruthless and indiscriminate violence), who would I slap? I’d probably slap LaToya Jackson. Oh, wait, I take that back. If I could only slap one person, I’d probably slap Paul Walker. Hard. On the ass. Because I think it would turn him on. So, tell me: If you could slap one person — living or dead — who would you slap?
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
You’ve change the definition of B-Slap Stollie Girl!….. mmmmmmmm… to put a positive spin I think I’d have to slap…. Scott Bakula – same reasons as you wanting to do Paul Walker.
Have a great week!
I’d love to slap my ex-supervisor from my internship 2 years ago. But I’d rather use a chainsaw on him than slap him I think. Or a flame-thrower. WAY more satisfying!
I would have to say whoever it was that was crank calling my house the last 3 weekends at 2:45 in the morning. I don’t even know who it is…but they just keep doing it!!!!
E: I saw him at a movie premier ages ago when I lived in LA. He was on some kind of sci-fi television show or something back then. I can’t remember the name of it.
Darwin: VERY funny! :)
History Chic: Did you guys have called id? If so, you could probably publish the jerk’s number on your blog and get everyone to start calling him/her back to see how much they like it.
This is tough! I may seem like a nice girl, but I would really like to slap several people into the middle of next week. Here are a few:
1) Sadam Hussein
2) Dubya (you know, that ass in Washington)
3) my neighbors husband
4) that Dirty Jerk Bitch who left her kids in her car at my husband’s office
5) The 17-year old cashier at the grocery store quick-checkout who chided me for coming thorough with 11 items rather than ten – even though I was there with a screaming child and he wasn’t helping anyone
I could go on and on, but these people make my angry. Perhaps tomorrow we should talk about someone we’d like to kiss. Stolie, I think your answer would be the same! (And yours, too, E!)
Stolie,
TV shows were Quantum Leap and then Star Trek…. along with some movies. I’ve seen them ALL…
Yea, I’m a Leaper!
MamaChristy: People who lock their children inside of cars SHOULD be slapped.
E: YES!!! Quantum Leap. That was the name of it!!! THANKS. I couldn’t remember the name of it and that bugged me all day long.