Oh, the Places You’ll Go
I’m one of the most impatient people that I know. I don’t like to wait. Ever. For anything. On more than one occasion, I’ve jumped into a cab to get somewhere quickly—only to jump out of the cab because it was moving too slow in traffic … only to jump into another cab because I felt like it would move faster than I could walk. Yes, yes, I know: I’m crazy. But, that’s not my point.
Do you ever have the feeling that your life is on hold and that you’re just waiting for something to materialize before you can move forward? Waiting for things to work out for a new job. Waiting to find out how things are going to work themselves out in a particular relationship. Waiting. Or … maybe it’s not that you’re “waiting” but it’s more like you’re so “tied up” with day-to-day life that you feel like you won’t really move forward? I’ve been feeling this way a lot lately. So have many people around me. My friend Mags is still waiting for a new job. And, Sid is still waiting for a new apartment. (Actually, I popped over to Sid’s blog a bit ago, and I noticed that she, too, just blogged about waiting. That post inspired this one.)
Hmmm … Have you ever read the book “Oh, the Places You’ll Go“? (Trust me. I’m going somewhere with this.) It sounds silly to say it, but the first time that I read that book, it made me cry. Rewind. I’m in LA. I’m 21 years old. And, I’m at Barnes & Noble with a guy friend named Scott. I’m in love with Scott at the time. But, because he has a girlfriend, nothing ever happens between us and I never utter a word about how I feel. Anyway … so, Scott and I are hanging out in Barnes & Noble and he asks me if I’ve ever read “Oh, the Places You’ll Go”. I tell him that I haven’t, and he seems genuinely surprised. “You HAVE TO read it,” he says. Then, he takes me by the hand and leads me to the Children’s section of the store. We grab one copy of the book and two seats next to each other on a small bench. There, we sit and we read each of the pages to each other until we finish the book. And, I start to cry. I won’t go into details about why the book touched me so much, but I will say this: sometimes the being an “adult” stuff (choosing a career, maintaining relationships, taking control of your finances, managing your own healthcare, making decisions about the future, etc., etc.) isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. And, it’s hard to do it all on your own.
October 25th, 2006 at 7:35 am
There must be some strange things happening with the lunar cycle or something because reading your post, it seemed as if you’ve been reading my mind.
For the last few months I’ve been feeling the same way. Almost an ‘ennui’ feeling about life. I felt like I was always waiting for something or someone else – so you know what I did? I re-read my ‘list of things to do before I die’ and made myself do one. Then I made myself do another….
It hasn’t fixed all the problems in my life or gotten ride of all the discontent(?), but it has given me something to be excited about and something to plan or look forward to.
Just a thought. Hang in there though – things will pick up again, I promise!
October 25th, 2006 at 12:48 pm
I feel that way every.single.day.of.my.life.
Something tells me you don’t find that comforting, though. Ha!
Then I think: isn’t this what life is about? Waiting, while wanting, and wanting something else once we get what we once thought we wanted? Really. It’s a pretty good question when you think about it.
When I start asking myself this question too much, I try to put my focus on what I have that I wouldn’t give up for anything in the world. Or focus on the one thing I KNOW is holding me back, and try to change that. Sometimes one small change can be all you need.
Sorry I can’t be of more help, but at least you aren’t alone. Because really, isn’t THAT at least a little comforting?… :o)
October 25th, 2006 at 1:36 pm
i’ve also been thinking a lot about waiting. i feel like a lot of people my age (i’m 21) are waiting for life to start. i constantly am waiting to be ‘done’ although (1) i don’t know what ‘done’ is and (2) i don’t believe we’re ever done growing and evolving.
but i still find that i feel like i’ll only be a complete person after some magic act happens. like after i get a job. after i go to law school. after i find myself in a committed relationship. and then i start to fear that either those things won’t happen or they won’t make me feel any more ‘real.’
October 25th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
I love that book.
Ditto Amy and Lala.
THere’s no easy way out of the Waiting Place. Damn, looking back I feel like I’ve been in and out of that hellhole for years now.
In the last year I’ve really commited to changing that. For me it’s a post it that says “Be Here Now,” and reminds me to stop waiting, and enjoy what I’m doing, no matter what it might be, or do something that I enjoy as often as possible.
Have you read “Letters to a Young Poet,” by Rainier Marie Rilke? Highly recommeded.
October 25th, 2006 at 6:47 pm
I’m an Aeries… so go figure about being impatient and impulsive.. I fit the description.. or should I say.. the description fits me!
I know what you mean about finding “adult” stuff hard. I’ve been fending for myself since I was 16. I turned out alrite.. but it is daunting to think that what we do has no end.. you just got to keep doing it over and over, day in and day out..
October 25th, 2006 at 8:56 pm
That book makes a very good present.
October 26th, 2006 at 12:31 am
Lala: That’s such a good idea! I have one of those lists and I haven’t looked at it in AGES! I also have one for New York. So many places to go. So little time.
AmyD: I think you’re right. I had a conversation with Carcar about this recently. We said exactly what you said — that urge-wait-urge cycle is what reminds us that we’re still living, still growing, still changing. I guess life would be pretty boring if I felt like I’d accomplished everything that I was supposed to accomplish already.
tara: I soooo know what you mean. It’s like I think, “once I’ve settled ___, then my life in New York will REALLY begin.” But, once I’ve got the “___” (whatever that is at the moment), I usually wipe the slate and search for another “___” to attain. Know what I mean?
eddie: You’re just like my sister!!! She always says that my challenge is to live in the present. Thanks for the book recommendation, by the way. I’m gonna check it out!
Momok: I’m right there with you. I supported myself ( … and, not to mention, those who were supposed to support me … ) from a very young age. Total sidenote but, as a result, I have ZERO tolerance for people who are overly dependent and/or not self-sufficient.
Jay: Seeeee … you didn’t say “wet dream” this time and your comment appeared like normal. :)
October 26th, 2006 at 4:39 pm
Fending for myself has been a long tough road but you know, if I could go back and live with my parents now and have my decisions made for me like how it used to be when I was a kid…it’d frustrate me no end! Being where we are right now might not be great but really, going back even if we could isnt an option. We’ve changed too much! The only way is forward!
I’ll def put that book in my must-check-out list!
October 26th, 2006 at 4:55 pm
Very nice comments! And, yes, the book is great!! (If you click the title of the post, you can read it in it’s entirety. But, I still think it’s good to eventually read the old fashioned hardback book and see the great illustrations.)
October 30th, 2006 at 1:56 am
[...] Funky Brown Chick takes us back to the first time she read "Oh, The Places You’ll Go". It’s quite lovely. [...]
June 4th, 2008 at 7:09 am
Just saw this!! :) THANKS for the link love!