Comments on: Desperation: Perfume of the Lonely http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/ Twanna is a sex, dating and relationships writer in New York City. She's funky. She has brown skin. And, she's a chick. FUNKYBROWNCHICK™ chronicles her life. Thu, 18 Mar 2010 11:28:29 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: funkybrownchick http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/comment-page-1/#comment-38751 funkybrownchick Tue, 25 Mar 2008 23:38:55 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/#comment-38751 @ Maz: Wow, GREAT comment. Thanks for sharing!! :) @ Maz: Wow, GREAT comment. Thanks for sharing!! :)

]]> By: Maz http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/comment-page-1/#comment-38744 Maz Tue, 25 Mar 2008 22:53:14 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/#comment-38744 ...so when the relationship ends, the woman is left with no friends and the man, he still has them... im not saying this is true of everyone, just some people. also, i agree it is because we move around so much, country to country.. well, i have. but i think if you are open to making new friends, you find them. and you always find ones that are into the same as you. it isnt that hard. if you are an open minded person, with an interest in something, you will always meet others like you who are open to knowing you and glad to meet you. everyone needs friends and if you make time for people, they will make time for you. if you smile at people, they will generally smile back. if you walk around with a cloud over your head, the world will seems hostile. if you walk around with a smile and a happy heart, people will respond to you with warmth and curiosity. everyone wants the sun in their lives. you are never too old to meet new people and make a difference to theirs and your life. …so when the relationship ends, the woman is left with no friends and the man, he still has them…
im not saying this is true of everyone, just some people.

also, i agree it is because we move around so much, country to country.. well, i have. but i think if you are open to making new friends, you find them. and you always find ones that are into the same as you. it isnt that hard. if you are an open minded person, with an interest in something, you will always meet others like you who are open to knowing you and glad to meet you. everyone needs friends and if you make time for people, they will make time for you. if you smile at people, they will generally smile back. if you walk around with a cloud over your head, the world will seems hostile. if you walk around with a smile and a happy heart, people will respond to you with warmth and curiosity. everyone wants the sun in their lives. you are never too old to meet new people and make a difference to theirs and your life.

]]> By: Maz http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/comment-page-1/#comment-38738 Maz Tue, 25 Mar 2008 21:12:18 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/#comment-38738 I think women tend to lose their friends more easily than men because when they meet a new guy, women are more likely to want to spend all their time with him and tend to 'forget' about their friends, whereas men are more loyal. They will insist on still seeing their friends but the girlfriend can go along too, so you often see a group of men and one woman but less often do you see a group of women and one man. Women enjoy being the only woman amongst all these men and may be hesitant to ask her friends along, whereas the opposite would be most men's nightmare! I think women tend to lose their friends more easily than men because when they meet a new guy, women are more likely to want to spend all their time with him and tend to ‘forget’ about their friends, whereas men are more loyal. They will insist on still seeing their friends but the girlfriend can go along too, so you often see a group of men and one woman but less often do you see a group of women and one man. Women enjoy being the only woman amongst all these men and may be hesitant to ask her friends along, whereas the opposite would be most men’s nightmare!

]]> By: raquel http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/comment-page-1/#comment-38267 raquel Thu, 20 Mar 2008 01:24:26 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/#comment-38267 but i only have 2 true friends but i only have 2 true friends

]]> By: funkybrownchick http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/comment-page-1/#comment-38265 funkybrownchick Thu, 20 Mar 2008 01:17:54 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/#comment-38265 ALL New Yorkers are really nice and cool. :) ALL New Yorkers are really nice and cool. :)

]]> By: raquel http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/comment-page-1/#comment-38264 raquel Thu, 20 Mar 2008 01:03:16 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/#comment-38264 well honestly, down here it's hard too be friendless. in south florida every one is loud and friendly. but, some select people do have no friends because they are rude, arrogant and act condescending towards everyone else. when i went up to new york for 3 days all i had to do was be friendly and i had meet 4 really nice,cool native new yorkers the first day!! well honestly, down here it’s hard too be friendless. in south florida every one is loud and friendly. but, some select people do have no friends because they are rude, arrogant and act condescending towards everyone else. when i went up to new york for 3 days all i had to do was be friendly and i had meet 4 really nice,cool native new yorkers the first day!!

]]> By: FUNKYBROWNCHICK http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/comment-page-1/#comment-5920 FUNKYBROWNCHICK Mon, 30 Oct 2006 01:59:48 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/#comment-5920 <b>Nat</b>: Yeah, I totally get what you're saying. And, I agree: it's not really easy (or adviseable) to share everything with everyone all the time. <b>AmyD</b>: I'm guilt of that BIG TIME. I'll sometimes *feel* like "oh, I don't wanna burden my friends with blah blah blah" even though I know that it wouldn't be a burden at all. <b>Mitch</b>: Nice nod to Amy D. <b>The Genius</b>: Yeah, I think moving & being spread thin both have a lot to do with it. <b>MamaChristy</b>: You speak the truth! :) <b>Donna</b>: You're very right. And, yes, I think we're all afraid of appearing vulnerable in some way or another. <b>Darwin</b>: Yeah, they say that loneliness is what happens when you don't have your needs met. It's not really about how many people are around I guess. <b>eddie</b>: Your very utterly humble opinion is also very WISE! :) <b>tim73</b>: Hey, who needs a big fancy ring anyway??? :) <b>Pegs</b>: Foreign, tall, gorgeous, liberal and financially stable. That's EXACTLY my type!!!! :) You know me too well, woman! :) <b>missb</b>: I soooo agree with you. When I was in high school and college, I kinda considered every random loose attachment formed to be a "friendship". As I grow older, I realize that TRUE friends are very precious and rare. I have a ton of acquaintances. The number of friends, of course, is smaller. And, yeah, I soooo know women (and men) who do the jetset crowd and form absolutely no ties to anyone anyone anywhere. And, yes, it is creepy. I'm convinced those people turn out to be serial killers. Didn't you see American Psycho??? :) And about the boy not having friends ... that's TOTALLY typical guy stuff. When <i>The Guy I Almost Married</i> and I broke up, he said ended the conversation by saying that he still wanted me in his life because I was the best friend that he had. I always thought that was a little odd. In my mind, we were "exes", not friends. Broken hearts take longer than 20 minutes to heal. Nat: Yeah, I totally get what you’re saying. And, I agree: it’s not really easy (or adviseable) to share everything with everyone all the time.

AmyD: I’m guilt of that BIG TIME. I’ll sometimes *feel* like “oh, I don’t wanna burden my friends with blah blah blah” even though I know that it wouldn’t be a burden at all.

Mitch: Nice nod to Amy D.

The Genius: Yeah, I think moving & being spread thin both have a lot to do with it.

MamaChristy: You speak the truth! :)

Donna: You’re very right. And, yes, I think we’re all afraid of appearing vulnerable in some way or another.

Darwin: Yeah, they say that loneliness is what happens when you don’t have your needs met. It’s not really about how many people are around I guess.

eddie: Your very utterly humble opinion is also very WISE! :)

tim73: Hey, who needs a big fancy ring anyway??? :)

Pegs: Foreign, tall, gorgeous, liberal and financially stable. That’s EXACTLY my type!!!! :) You know me too well, woman! :)

missb: I soooo agree with you. When I was in high school and college, I kinda considered every random loose attachment formed to be a “friendship”. As I grow older, I realize that TRUE friends are very precious and rare. I have a ton of acquaintances. The number of friends, of course, is smaller. And, yeah, I soooo know women (and men) who do the jetset crowd and form absolutely no ties to anyone anyone anywhere. And, yes, it is creepy. I’m convinced those people turn out to be serial killers. Didn’t you see American Psycho??? :) And about the boy not having friends … that’s TOTALLY typical guy stuff. When The Guy I Almost Married and I broke up, he said ended the conversation by saying that he still wanted me in his life because I was the best friend that he had. I always thought that was a little odd. In my mind, we were “exes”, not friends. Broken hearts take longer than 20 minutes to heal.

]]> By: missb http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/comment-page-1/#comment-5916 missb Sat, 28 Oct 2006 13:47:35 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/#comment-5916 I love all these long, deep & cool responses! I think there are few people who really, truly do not have friends of any kind. Close, intimate friends are another matter. When I was in my very early 20's and finally out on my own to seek out new friends (as opposed to forging friendships in school setting etc)I remember being intent on meeting--and maintaining deep friendships with--pretty much everyone I shared a common bond with. This led to having what I believed to be "a zillion" friends. I remember my mother telling me that no, actually I'll grow up and only want a small circle of friends to REALLY share my most intimate thought with. I didn't believe her. Who wouldn't want a zillion friends? But then over time I've learned that she is 100% right. I realised that I don't have the time, energy or desire to maintain that level of intimacy with 30 people. Relationships need time and attention like gardens. Now I'm 37 and I treasure my little scattered group of true friends. I've also observed that my fiancee does NOT seem to have any real close friends...but I chalk that up to the stereotype of "that's because he's a man and men are less emotionally outgoing anyway". But it bothers me. I'm his closest friend, it would seem. That's a lot of pressure. I also wonder about the handful of women I know who do not seem to have any close girlfriends...do you know they type? I mean the ones who have made it out of high school, college and summer camp and first-jobs and moving to new cities three times with no close friends anyplace. Women who seem to just float on to their next location without forging any strong ties? These women freak me out a little... I'm rambling. I love all these long, deep & cool responses! I think there are few people who really, truly do not have friends of any kind. Close, intimate friends are another matter. When I was in my very early 20’s and finally out on my own to seek out new friends (as opposed to forging friendships in school setting etc)I remember being intent on meeting–and maintaining deep friendships with–pretty much everyone I shared a common bond with. This led to having what I believed to be “a zillion” friends. I remember my mother telling me that no, actually I’ll grow up and only want a small circle of friends to REALLY share my most intimate thought with. I didn’t believe her. Who wouldn’t want a zillion friends? But then over time I’ve learned that she is 100% right. I realised that I don’t have the time, energy or desire to maintain that level of intimacy with 30 people. Relationships need time and attention like gardens. Now I’m 37 and I treasure my little scattered group of true friends. I’ve also observed that my fiancee does NOT seem to have any real close friends…but I chalk that up to the stereotype of “that’s because he’s a man and men are less emotionally outgoing anyway”. But it bothers me. I’m his closest friend, it would seem. That’s a lot of pressure. I also wonder about the handful of women I know who do not seem to have any close girlfriends…do you know they type? I mean the ones who have made it out of high school, college and summer camp and first-jobs and moving to new cities three times with no close friends anyplace. Women who seem to just float on to their next location without forging any strong ties? These women freak me out a little…

I’m rambling.

]]> By: Pegs http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/comment-page-1/#comment-5915 Pegs Sat, 28 Oct 2006 12:39:23 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/#comment-5915 Amy D is right on. Funky Brown Chick: If Tim73 is calling you an imperialist American, then he's probably foreign. Ask if he's tall, gorgeous, liberal and financially stable. If yes, then he's just right for you! Accept the offer and tell people you didn't even want a ring. Amy D is right on.
Funky Brown Chick: If Tim73 is calling you an imperialist American, then he’s probably foreign. Ask if he’s tall, gorgeous, liberal and financially stable. If yes, then he’s just right for you! Accept the offer and tell people you didn’t even want a ring.

]]> By: tim73 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/comment-page-1/#comment-5914 tim73 Sat, 28 Oct 2006 11:21:59 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/27/desperation-is-the-perfume-of-the-lonely/#comment-5914 You seem to be like stand-up girl and so would you marry me? :) I will even not mind that you are Imperialist American! But I will not buy your ring. You seem to be like stand-up girl and so would you marry me? :) I will even not mind that you are Imperialist American! But I will not buy your ring.

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