Sex and Money
The weekend is over, and my Aussie has left the country. In case you were wondering: I didn’t sleep with him. (Nosey little bastards, aren’t you my sweeties?) It wasn’t for lack of interest, mind you. I think it’s fair to say that things just didn’t turn out quite the way that I thought that they would–and, if I had to guess, he’d probably say the same thing. And, that’s all I’m going to say about that publicly. [The End]
So, I’m online the other day and I randomly stumble across an article on so-called female sexual manupulation over at Askmen.com. there’s so much to say about this, but so little time. (I don’t like long posts.) Ahhhhhh … sex and money. Is it really true that are women money-grubbers who expect men to fork over loads of cash on interesting [read: expensive] dates before they’ll have sex with them? My opinion … Well, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: people see the world not as it is but as they are. And, I think this applies to the dating world as well. So, rich men who throw money at women to impress them shouldn’t be surprised if they end up with money-grubbing women who are impressed by money. (And, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the Askmen.com writer who warns that women try to “seduce men into handing over their wallets” is the same man who advises men: if you get rich, “you’ll have women kissing your feet“.) So, yeah, needless to say, I disagree with the author. And, having said that, to be fair, I’ll add this …. Here in New York City, all things being equal, I bet a guy with a corporate job has a hell of a lot more success getting laid than a guy who is unemployed does. To the people out there on the internets, I ask: What are all of YOUR thoughts on this?
October 30th, 2006 at 9:47 am
I’m sorry I’m such a nosey! Too bad aussie is gone!!
I believe it’s truth all the things about money and being drawn to a guy because of that.. isn’t soo pathetic still truth? c´mon ladies, we like the green friends! All the guys I’ve dated in the past were big loosers, didn’t usually have a job.. so they were usually broke.. it’s not too much fun to go out on dates like that.. Oh but in the end, we never broke up because of money issues.. I said that before, they were big morons! LOL.. My guy at present (well not still MINE but surely will in the future) is wealthy and that’s so much fun.. we’ve been doing stuff over the past few weeks and it’s been great! Now that I write it it makes me feel like an ass but that’s what women do! OK, levaing to school now.. take care aussie fan!
October 30th, 2006 at 12:46 pm
So sorry your mate is gone. Hope you can keep up with him via email, though! Sounds like you made a nice friend, at the very least.
As for money being a motive for love, I’m not at all that girl, never have been, never will be. Some of the richest men I’ve known/met are the most boring, as they are either working all the time, and have no time for a real life, or they believe their money is enough to attract and sustain a woman. WRONG on all accounts.
When Jill and Kelly were in town, we were at a bar and a man began flirting with me. Nice as he was, he was just…ODD, and dreadfully boring. He was drinking Moet, and when I nodded toward it and asked if he was celebrating a good day, he said, “Oh this? It’s from my “Hedgefund…” Yeah. Really impressive, dorko. Really, do men think that’s all it takes to get a woman in bed?! GROSS.
October 30th, 2006 at 1:34 pm
I have never had an issue with the money thing. I have felt a little insecure when the funds were low, but I never let that stop me.
The thing that always gets me about meeting someone is when you get into some form of a relationship you end up meeting others. It seems like they are never there when you break up.
October 30th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
Regarding money, well I think someone not-so-well-off can be cool as long as they don’t have a complex about it. You know, where he constantly evaluates everything in terms of how much it costs etc. I hate stingy money-minded people. Then again I also hate extravagantly rich people who blow all their cash on useless crap and expect me to keep up to. So bottom line, money (too much or too little) is not the issue, it’s the attitude that goes along with it that puts me off.
October 30th, 2006 at 7:12 pm
I’ve read and read some more about woman, sex and money… yeah yeah. I know… apparently, when a man looks at a woman, he is thinking sex.. good.. but a woman is looking for longterm commitment… kids marriage etc.. though it might only be sex for the night. Hence the justification, that men with more money will be able to support the woman and the offsprings etc etc.. hence a instant hit with woman..
Money does help, but not eveything when it comes to woman… this is from a mans prespective
October 31st, 2006 at 12:44 am
Nat: I *am* an Aussie fan. :)
AmyD: I sooooo agree with you about the boring guys with money. That said, I still think they probably have an easier time in the dating world than an unemployed man does.
AWE: I’ve heard a lot of men say that: women want a guy the most when the guy is taken. But, when the guy is single, those same women don’t even look at him. It’s the old “people want what they can’t have” stuff.
Darwin: You might be dead on with the attitude stuff.
Momok: And, I *LOVE* it when men give their perspectives. THANK YOU. :-)
October 31st, 2006 at 4:09 pm
“people see the world not as it is but as they are.”
Exactly. I like to say, you pretty much always find what you were looking for, whether or not you’ll admit or were aware that’s what you were seeking.
That article was hilariously stupid. I actually checked to see if it was a joke–say, published April 1. I especially loved his assertion that men are just so honest in their sexual desires that they are being played by manipulative women looking to use sex to make men their puppets. (Even more hilarious considering one of the banner ads was on some guide to tricking women into bed. Where, exactly, is the honesty in that?)Could it be that the men who’d stay with such a woman purely for the sake of sex are so dumb and easily led by their wangs that they deserve such women? Duh. Treat women like whores, get a whore for a girlfriend, idiot.
Which is all to say, let’s all be greatful that we are not like these women and men, and hope they keep finding each other to traumatize, yes?
October 31st, 2006 at 10:07 pm
Pretty impressive display with the movie trivia on Darwin’s blog. You missed The Grudge and Saw, but impressive nonetheless!
November 1st, 2006 at 5:32 am
sid: “Hilariously stupid.” That’s funny!!! Yeah, when I first read it, I thought it was a joke, too. But, then I kept reading each of that guy’s articles and I was like: “OMG, he’s not kidding!!!”
Ethan: THANKS!!! :) And, so, THOSE are the movies that I missed? Makes sense … I haven’t seen either. I used to be a HUGE fan of horror movies, but I gave up on the genre after Scream. Now I like “thriller” flicks more than true “horror” flicks.
November 1st, 2006 at 5:33 am
OOPS!!! Hey Ethan … didn’t mean to bold the whole email. I wish there was a way to “preview” comments before hitting “submit”. :)
November 5th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Though money is not the end-all be all of a relationship, women do tend to seek men with the ability to provision. As I see it, a confident bearing and high-status attitude will outweigh as male attributes will outweigh all else in generating female attraction. If you are dating young women, this combined with ambition and potential are enough, as they tend to be primarily concerned with having a man who makes their friends jealous. As she ages and becomes concerned with nesting and family, as the man you had bettered find a way to leverage that potential into the ability to provision her desired lifestyle, because a part of women is coldly calculating in that you as the man are selected in large part for your ability to manifest her dreams and her legacy. This is a fundamental difference between women and men. Even successful women will ask their men to manifest their dreams for them. Any self-respecting man, however, will not ask his girlfriend/wife to make his dreams come true. He will look to himself to obtain his desires. He doesn’t select a woman based on how she will further his legacy. He selects her because he wants her. Not as a vehicle to his other goals. How many men do you know that ask their wives, “Honey, I’m tired of my car, will you buy me a new Beemer?” Yet women ask this of their men ALL the time. This sort of behavior is biologically innate, yet is logically perceived by men as manipulative and exploitative because like you, we want to be loved for who we are, not what we have or can allow you to obtain. When men comment on how women are out for money, this is what they mean, yet women typically see it in black and white as an assertion that they are a whore seeking the almighty greenback. True, some golddiggers exist, but they aren’t primarily what we are talking about and truthfully, most men don’t have the resources to interest a true golddigger, a la Ivana Trump. That doesn’t prevent our equally educated and compensated female counterparts from asking us to finance their vacations, homes, cars, clothes, entertainment etc. It’s built into a culture that started when women were largely dependent on men. Look at the Holidays for instance, where this disparity is preserved. Women at Valentines want Jewelry, expensive dinners and the like in addition to attention, candy, flowers and a card. Often though, as a man, we are expected to be satisfied with a card and if lucky a little action that night as if it were a reward to be doled out when the per diem has been paid. If you don’t want to have your man think of you this way then don’t expect a gender disparity in gifts, who pays the freight on a date or vacation, or even in engagement rings, unless you stay home to care for him. If you both work then you should not be treated any differently than he. That’s the implied feminist contract is it not?
http://www.alphadominance.com