Comments on: Sex and Money http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/ Twanna is a sex, dating and relationships writer in New York City. She's funky. She has brown skin. And, she's a chick. FUNKYBROWNCHICK™ chronicles her life. Thu, 18 Mar 2010 11:28:29 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: alphadominance http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/comment-page-1/#comment-68323 alphadominance Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:12:54 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/#comment-68323 Though money is not the end-all be all of a relationship, women do tend to seek men with the ability to provision. As I see it, a confident bearing and high-status attitude will outweigh as male attributes will outweigh all else in generating female attraction. If you are dating young women, this combined with ambition and potential are enough, as they tend to be primarily concerned with having a man who makes their friends jealous. As she ages and becomes concerned with nesting and family, as the man you had bettered find a way to leverage that potential into the ability to provision her desired lifestyle, because a part of women is coldly calculating in that you as the man are selected in large part for your ability to manifest her dreams and her legacy. This is a fundamental difference between women and men. Even successful women will ask their men to manifest their dreams for them. Any self-respecting man, however, will not ask his girlfriend/wife to make his dreams come true. He will look to himself to obtain his desires. He doesn't select a woman based on how she will further his legacy. He selects her because he wants her. Not as a vehicle to his other goals. How many men do you know that ask their wives, "Honey, I'm tired of my car, will you buy me a new Beemer?" Yet women ask this of their men ALL the time. This sort of behavior is biologically innate, yet is logically perceived by men as manipulative and exploitative because like you, we want to be loved for who we are, not what we have or can allow you to obtain. When men comment on how women are out for money, this is what they mean, yet women typically see it in black and white as an assertion that they are a whore seeking the almighty greenback. True, some golddiggers exist, but they aren't primarily what we are talking about and truthfully, most men don't have the resources to interest a true golddigger, a la Ivana Trump. That doesn't prevent our equally educated and compensated female counterparts from asking us to finance their vacations, homes, cars, clothes, entertainment etc. It's built into a culture that started when women were largely dependent on men. Look at the Holidays for instance, where this disparity is preserved. Women at Valentines want Jewelry, expensive dinners and the like in addition to attention, candy, flowers and a card. Often though, as a man, we are expected to be satisfied with a card and if lucky a little action that night as if it were a reward to be doled out when the per diem has been paid. If you don't want to have your man think of you this way then don't expect a gender disparity in gifts, who pays the freight on a date or vacation, or even in engagement rings, unless you stay home to care for him. If you both work then you should not be treated any differently than he. That's the implied feminist contract is it not? www.alphadominance.com Though money is not the end-all be all of a relationship, women do tend to seek men with the ability to provision. As I see it, a confident bearing and high-status attitude will outweigh as male attributes will outweigh all else in generating female attraction. If you are dating young women, this combined with ambition and potential are enough, as they tend to be primarily concerned with having a man who makes their friends jealous. As she ages and becomes concerned with nesting and family, as the man you had bettered find a way to leverage that potential into the ability to provision her desired lifestyle, because a part of women is coldly calculating in that you as the man are selected in large part for your ability to manifest her dreams and her legacy. This is a fundamental difference between women and men. Even successful women will ask their men to manifest their dreams for them. Any self-respecting man, however, will not ask his girlfriend/wife to make his dreams come true. He will look to himself to obtain his desires. He doesn’t select a woman based on how she will further his legacy. He selects her because he wants her. Not as a vehicle to his other goals. How many men do you know that ask their wives, “Honey, I’m tired of my car, will you buy me a new Beemer?” Yet women ask this of their men ALL the time. This sort of behavior is biologically innate, yet is logically perceived by men as manipulative and exploitative because like you, we want to be loved for who we are, not what we have or can allow you to obtain. When men comment on how women are out for money, this is what they mean, yet women typically see it in black and white as an assertion that they are a whore seeking the almighty greenback. True, some golddiggers exist, but they aren’t primarily what we are talking about and truthfully, most men don’t have the resources to interest a true golddigger, a la Ivana Trump. That doesn’t prevent our equally educated and compensated female counterparts from asking us to finance their vacations, homes, cars, clothes, entertainment etc. It’s built into a culture that started when women were largely dependent on men. Look at the Holidays for instance, where this disparity is preserved. Women at Valentines want Jewelry, expensive dinners and the like in addition to attention, candy, flowers and a card. Often though, as a man, we are expected to be satisfied with a card and if lucky a little action that night as if it were a reward to be doled out when the per diem has been paid. If you don’t want to have your man think of you this way then don’t expect a gender disparity in gifts, who pays the freight on a date or vacation, or even in engagement rings, unless you stay home to care for him. If you both work then you should not be treated any differently than he. That’s the implied feminist contract is it not?
http://www.alphadominance.com

]]> By: FUNKYBROWNCHICK http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/comment-page-1/#comment-5952 FUNKYBROWNCHICK Wed, 01 Nov 2006 09:33:37 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/#comment-5952 OOPS!!! Hey Ethan ... didn't mean to bold the whole email. I wish there was a way to "preview" comments before hitting "submit". :) OOPS!!! Hey Ethan … didn’t mean to bold the whole email. I wish there was a way to “preview” comments before hitting “submit”. :)

]]> By: FUNKYBROWNCHICK http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/comment-page-1/#comment-5951 FUNKYBROWNCHICK Wed, 01 Nov 2006 09:32:42 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/#comment-5951 <strong>sid</strong>: "Hilariously stupid." That's funny!!! Yeah, when I first read it, I thought it was a joke, too. But, then I kept reading each of that guy's articles and I was like: "OMG, he's not kidding!!!" <strong>Ethan</strong>: THANKS!!! :) And, so, THOSE are the movies that I missed? Makes sense ... I haven't seen either. I used to be a HUGE fan of horror movies, but I gave up on the genre after Scream. Now I like "thriller" flicks more than true "horror" flicks. sid: “Hilariously stupid.” That’s funny!!! Yeah, when I first read it, I thought it was a joke, too. But, then I kept reading each of that guy’s articles and I was like: “OMG, he’s not kidding!!!”

Ethan: THANKS!!! :) And, so, THOSE are the movies that I missed? Makes sense … I haven’t seen either. I used to be a HUGE fan of horror movies, but I gave up on the genre after Scream. Now I like “thriller” flicks more than true “horror” flicks.

]]> By: Ethan http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/comment-page-1/#comment-5947 Ethan Wed, 01 Nov 2006 02:07:12 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/#comment-5947 Pretty impressive display with the movie trivia on Darwin's blog. You missed The Grudge and Saw, but impressive nonetheless! Pretty impressive display with the movie trivia on Darwin’s blog. You missed The Grudge and Saw, but impressive nonetheless!

]]> By: sid http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/comment-page-1/#comment-5937 sid Tue, 31 Oct 2006 20:09:49 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/#comment-5937 "people see the world not as it is but as they are." Exactly. I like to say, you pretty much always find what you were looking for, whether or not you'll admit or were aware that's what you were seeking. That article was hilariously stupid. I actually checked to see if it was a joke--say, published April 1. I especially loved his assertion that men are just <i>so honest</i> in their sexual desires that they are being played by manipulative women looking to use sex to make men their puppets. (Even more hilarious considering one of the banner ads was on some guide to tricking women into bed. Where, exactly, is the honesty in that?)Could it be that the men who'd stay with such a woman purely for the sake of sex are so dumb and easily led by their wangs that they deserve such women? Duh. Treat women like whores, get a whore for a girlfriend, idiot. Which is all to say, let's all be greatful that we are not like these women and men, and hope they keep finding each other to traumatize, yes? “people see the world not as it is but as they are.”

Exactly. I like to say, you pretty much always find what you were looking for, whether or not you’ll admit or were aware that’s what you were seeking.

That article was hilariously stupid. I actually checked to see if it was a joke–say, published April 1. I especially loved his assertion that men are just so honest in their sexual desires that they are being played by manipulative women looking to use sex to make men their puppets. (Even more hilarious considering one of the banner ads was on some guide to tricking women into bed. Where, exactly, is the honesty in that?)Could it be that the men who’d stay with such a woman purely for the sake of sex are so dumb and easily led by their wangs that they deserve such women? Duh. Treat women like whores, get a whore for a girlfriend, idiot.

Which is all to say, let’s all be greatful that we are not like these women and men, and hope they keep finding each other to traumatize, yes?

]]> By: FUNKYBROWNCHICK http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/comment-page-1/#comment-5931 FUNKYBROWNCHICK Tue, 31 Oct 2006 04:44:45 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/#comment-5931 <b>Nat</b>: I *am* an Aussie fan. :) <b>AmyD</b>: I sooooo agree with you about the boring guys with money. That said, I still think they probably have an easier time in the dating world than an unemployed man does. <b>AWE</b>: I've heard a lot of men say that: women want a guy the most when the guy is taken. But, when the guy is single, those same women don't even look at him. It's the old "people want what they can't have" stuff. <b>Darwin</b>: You might be dead on with the attitude stuff. <b>Momok</b>: And, I *LOVE* it when men give their perspectives. THANK YOU. :-) Nat: I *am* an Aussie fan. :)

AmyD: I sooooo agree with you about the boring guys with money. That said, I still think they probably have an easier time in the dating world than an unemployed man does.

AWE: I’ve heard a lot of men say that: women want a guy the most when the guy is taken. But, when the guy is single, those same women don’t even look at him. It’s the old “people want what they can’t have” stuff.

Darwin: You might be dead on with the attitude stuff.

Momok: And, I *LOVE* it when men give their perspectives. THANK YOU. :-)

]]> By: Momok http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/comment-page-1/#comment-5930 Momok Mon, 30 Oct 2006 23:12:29 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/#comment-5930 I've read and read some more about woman, sex and money... yeah yeah. I know... apparently, when a man looks at a woman, he is thinking sex.. good.. but a woman is looking for longterm commitment... kids marriage etc.. though it might only be sex for the night. Hence the justification, that men with more money will be able to support the woman and the offsprings etc etc.. hence a instant hit with woman.. Money does help, but not eveything when it comes to woman... this is from a mans prespective I’ve read and read some more about woman, sex and money… yeah yeah. I know… apparently, when a man looks at a woman, he is thinking sex.. good.. but a woman is looking for longterm commitment… kids marriage etc.. though it might only be sex for the night. Hence the justification, that men with more money will be able to support the woman and the offsprings etc etc.. hence a instant hit with woman..

Money does help, but not eveything when it comes to woman… this is from a mans prespective

]]> By: Darwin http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/comment-page-1/#comment-5927 Darwin Mon, 30 Oct 2006 19:57:11 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/#comment-5927 Regarding money, well I think someone not-so-well-off can be cool as long as they don't have a complex about it. You know, where he constantly evaluates everything in terms of how much it costs etc. I hate stingy money-minded people. Then again I also hate extravagantly rich people who blow all their cash on useless crap and expect me to keep up to. So bottom line, money (too much or too little) is not the issue, it's the attitude that goes along with it that puts me off. Regarding money, well I think someone not-so-well-off can be cool as long as they don’t have a complex about it. You know, where he constantly evaluates everything in terms of how much it costs etc. I hate stingy money-minded people. Then again I also hate extravagantly rich people who blow all their cash on useless crap and expect me to keep up to. So bottom line, money (too much or too little) is not the issue, it’s the attitude that goes along with it that puts me off.

]]> By: AWE http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/comment-page-1/#comment-5926 AWE Mon, 30 Oct 2006 17:34:05 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/#comment-5926 I have never had an issue with the money thing. I have felt a little insecure when the funds were low, but I never let that stop me. The thing that always gets me about meeting someone is when you get into some form of a relationship you end up meeting others. It seems like they are never there when you break up. I have never had an issue with the money thing. I have felt a little insecure when the funds were low, but I never let that stop me.

The thing that always gets me about meeting someone is when you get into some form of a relationship you end up meeting others. It seems like they are never there when you break up.

]]> By: AmyD http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/comment-page-1/#comment-5925 AmyD Mon, 30 Oct 2006 16:46:11 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/10/30/sex-and-money/#comment-5925 So sorry your mate is gone. Hope you can keep up with him via email, though! Sounds like you made a nice friend, at the very least. As for money being a motive for love, I'm not at all that girl, never have been, never will be. Some of the richest men I've known/met are the most boring, as they are either working all the time, and have no time for a real life, or they believe their money is enough to attract and sustain a woman. WRONG on all accounts. When Jill and Kelly were in town, we were at a bar and a man began flirting with me. Nice as he was, he was just...ODD, and dreadfully boring. He was drinking Moet, and when I nodded toward it and asked if he was celebrating a good day, he said, "Oh this? It's from my "Hedgefund..." Yeah. Really impressive, dorko. Really, do men think that's all it takes to get a woman in bed?! GROSS. So sorry your mate is gone. Hope you can keep up with him via email, though! Sounds like you made a nice friend, at the very least.

As for money being a motive for love, I’m not at all that girl, never have been, never will be. Some of the richest men I’ve known/met are the most boring, as they are either working all the time, and have no time for a real life, or they believe their money is enough to attract and sustain a woman. WRONG on all accounts.

When Jill and Kelly were in town, we were at a bar and a man began flirting with me. Nice as he was, he was just…ODD, and dreadfully boring. He was drinking Moet, and when I nodded toward it and asked if he was celebrating a good day, he said, “Oh this? It’s from my “Hedgefund…” Yeah. Really impressive, dorko. Really, do men think that’s all it takes to get a woman in bed?! GROSS.

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