Twanna A. Hines @ FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com | sex. dating. relationships.

How Often Do You Wash Your Jeans?

I should preface everything that I’m about to say with the following disclaimer: I am genuinely a hygienic person. (Trust me … this is going somewhere.) Okay, so, the other day, I’m watching Sex and the City, right? Well, it’s the episode where Miranda doesn’t want Steve to move in with her because she doesn’t want him to know everything about her. She says something like: I don’t cook, I spill things, the sponges in my sink smell, etc. For whatever reason, the episode makes me think about commitmentphobia. Hmmm … I’m not convinced that commitmentphobia is simply the fear of relationships; I think it’s probably more about people not wanting to appear vulnerable and/or not wanting to let others see our flaws. You know, the old “don’t-let-’em-get-too-close-or-else-they-might-see-something-that-don’t-like” mentality. It makes me think: do I have any flaws or goofy things about myself that I wouldn’t want a guy to see? Sure. My dirty jeans are probably one example.

Yes, folks, it’s true. I wear dirty jeans. Now, don’t get me wrong — I love my weekly trips of Jolly Good Schleppin my stuff to the nearest laundromat as much as any other urban city-dweller does. I do, indeed, wash my clothes. Regularly. It’s just, you know … my jeans … they’re special. Call me a crazy lady, but I think they actually look and fit better after I’ve gotten a few good wearings out of them. Do I think there’s anything wrong with that? Nope. Would I want the guy that I’m dating to know that the jeans I’m wearing are on the second or third run? Not necessarily. How about you? How often do you wear your favorite jeans before washing them? And — if you’re one of those obsessive-compulsive types who washes them every day — do you have any other goofy things about yourself that you wouldn’t necessarily want your partner to know?

November 20th, 2006 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [34] folks got down with the Funky Brown

The Sexiest Man Alive

Well, ladies and gentleman, I was wrong. A short while ago I predicted that People Magazine would name David Beckham to be the 2006 Sexiest Man Alive (SMA). I mean, you know, the signs were all there. I expected a Blonde Threepeat: Jude Law won in 2004, Matthew Mcconaughey in 2005, and i thought Beckham would take it home this year. Well, the newest issue of People Magazine hits newsstands today and — to my utter amazement — not only did they not select David Beckham, they (thankfully) returned to their rich tradition of selecting brunettes:

Ahhhh, George Clooney: An Ultimate “It” Boy. Somehow this man just seems to get better and better with age. If you remember, he was also named SMA in 1997. Oooooh, he’s good. SMA in 1997 *and* again a decade later?!?! Wow! I guess the people have spoken. Or, more appropriately, People Magazine has spoken. So, now, it’s your turn. Please use the comment section in the header of this post to tell me, George Clooney: (a) still YUMMY after 10 years; (b) still not sure how I feel about this guy; or (c) still shocked that the folks at People Magazine actually think this loser from The Facts of Life is hot.

November 17th, 2006 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [11] folks got down with the Funky Brown

The Drunken Floozy Story

Um, remember when I said that I error kissed on Friday night? Sure, I only told 2% of the story on my blog but, if you’re interested, Sid tells 95.2% of the story on hers. (Thankfully, she left out the 4.8% of naughty bits.) By the way, for the record, I wasn’t always the floozy that I became on Friday night. A decade ago, I was a much more angelic little brown chick.

November 16th, 2006 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [9] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Worst Dating Stories Ever

There are a lot of crazy people out there. And, at some point, you’ll find yourself dating one of them. I’ve gone out with a guy who [at the dinner table] showed me that he didn’t wear underwear to our date. I also went out on a date with a guy who eventually said he’d like to chop me up into little pieces. Crazies. They’re everywhere. And, some of them leave a trail ( … documentation, evidence if you will … ) that clearly proves that they’re crazy. Wanna see some really funny “evidence”? Check out this website called Weird Dating Mail. The guy with the DUI? The dude who thinks women his age are bitchy grandmas? They’re all there. Hmmm … how about you? Do you have any weird dating story? What’s YOUR worst dating story ever?

November 15th, 2006 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [9] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Have You Ever “Error Kissed”?

On Friday night, I got really really really drunk and I kissed someone that I shouldn’t have kissed. Don’t worry, it wasn’t a blood relative or anything like that. But, still, I feel guilty … so guilty that, even though I want to write a post and tell you who it was, I’m too embarrassed to carry through with it. Ewwwwww. Just thinking about it makes me feel really bad again. Error kissing. Have you ever kissed someone that you shouldn’t have kissed?

November 14th, 2006 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [21] folks got down with the Funky Brown

What Do U Wanna B When U Grow Up?

Friday. I kinda felt like a goofy little teenager suffering from a bout of homesickness: I wanted to go home. I missed my family. (Actually, that sentence should probably be in present tense because I *still* miss them.) This may be an odd questions, but: Do you ever get the feeling that you’re “too old” to experience a certain emotion? You know, like … when you start dating someone and you get that stupid-giddy feeling everytime you see them? Or, for example, when you feel homesick? Or, how about this one: insecurity.

I don’t know what my problem is but, lately, I’ve being feeling a little insecure. I’ve been questioning my decisions and second-guessing the State of My Life. Don’t get me wrong — I love New York, and I’m not giving up on it. Still, I wonder … Am on moving in the “right” direction … whatever that might be? I feel like I’m changing, growing, and partaking in new experiences here in the city. And, I feel like life is moving quickly around me. But, I’m not really sure if I’m “going” anywhere. And, I’m not even sure if “going somewhere” should be my goal. Does any of this make sense?

Ahhhhh … When you’re a child, people ask: “what do you want to be when you grow up?” And, the answer is also something career-related. I wanna be a doctor, a teacher, or something else like that. But, when you’re an adult, it seems kinda silly to ask yourself that question because you already have your career, right? Nevertheless … as I click-click-click away on my laptop, I think that’s exactly the question that I’ve been asking myself lately: WHAT DO I WANNA BE WHEN I GROW UP? Five years from now, ten years from now … Will I still live in New York? What will be my career? Will I have a long-term partner (who is gorgeous & foreign *BUT* not an asshole)? If I were a different person, I’d probably spend less time worrying about the future and more time living in the now. But, in the meantime, I’m gonna ask you the question that I’ve been asking myself: what do YOU want to be when you grow up?

November 13th, 2006 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [18] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Protected: I Wanna Go Home

November 10th, 2006 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | Enter your password to view comments

Giving Myself a Blow Job

Okay, I’m gonna be a total loser here and toot my own horn … I finally finished designing Mitch’s site. And, if I do say so myself, I think it looks nice; I’m proud of it. So, if you have a minute … stop by his site, check it out, and send him some love. Click here to go there.

November 9th, 2006 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [6] folks got down with the Funky Brown