A Woman’s Guide to “Freeballing”
How does one follow up a post about Britney Spears’ vajayjay? With a post about the one thing that was missing — underwear — that’s how! Hmmm …. when a man doesn’t wear underwear under his clothes, it’s called “freeballing” (Because, you know, his balls are dangling freely.) Now, when a woman doesn’t wear underwear, what’s that called? The term “freeballing” doesn’t exactly work because, you know, we don’t have balls. Anyway, I’m not sure what it’s called but, for today, I’m gonna use the term: “vajayjay alfresco”.
Please let the record reflect that I’m not opposed to going vajayjay alfresco. Quite the contrary. In fact, during the summer, I sometimes go vajayjay alfresco myself *IF* I’m wearing a long summer dress and I’m just running Saturday morning errands or something. So, yeah, vajayjay alfresco isn’t inherently bad, you just have to know when to do it and when not to do it. To test your knowledge of said topic, I’ve created a little quiz for you. Please read the following statements and identify which of the situations would be appropriate for vajayjay alfresco. True or false, it’s okay to go vajayjay alfresco …
- In the shower.
- While stepping out of a car when you *know* that cameras are recording your every move.
- In your own bed while sleeping in the nude.
- On a bicycle while wearing a miniskirt.
- After exiting the shower & when wrapped in a bath towel.
- In your partner’s bed.
- While nude.
Any guesses? :) How did you all do on the quiz?
December 1st, 2006 at 10:16 am
Why on earth would anybody ride a bicycle in a miniskirt anyway? Obviously that’s an appropriate situation, as you’re already an exhibitionist.
December 1st, 2006 at 11:23 am
1. 3. 5. 6. 7.
December 1st, 2006 at 12:39 pm
1. Unless you have a huge patty fetish and then that’s how you finally get them clean.
2. Depends on how well your album is selling. If no one is buying it then by all means go alfresco.
3. Depends on if you have Paul Walker in your bed and if you want him to rip your panties off.
4. Only you are NOT using a seat.
5. See answer #1.
6. See answer #3.
7. That’s about as obvious as your hilarious definition of freeballing.
BTW, Vajayjay Alfresco? Congrats on a two-word combo that no one but you would have thought of. :) Someone’s going on my roundup tomorrow.
December 1st, 2006 at 1:43 pm
vajayjay alfresco! BRILLIANT!
December 1st, 2006 at 7:17 pm
Men also describe this as “going commando.”
December 1st, 2006 at 10:37 pm
ditto Amy
December 2nd, 2006 at 10:53 pm
Thats hilarious!!! Vajayjay Alfresco…Classic….
December 3rd, 2006 at 9:22 am
gives an entirely new meaning to V.A. VERY LOL
Like John I’ve always used the term “comando” (even though I’m not a guy)
December 3rd, 2006 at 12:28 pm
A friend of mine used to call it “freelipping.”
December 3rd, 2006 at 5:07 pm
LOL! I can always count on your posts to come up with random quirky definitions to stuff and I have to say this is one of the best you’ve done so far!
1. True
2. False unless you have the surname Spears/Hilton/Lohan
3. True, heck I do it sometimes
4. N/A since I can’t ride a bike (shhh don’t laugh!)
5. True
6. True
7. True
December 4th, 2006 at 12:46 am
El: I tried that once. Didn’t go over too well. :)
Raymond: Good guesses! :)
Howard: You said, “Depends on if you have Paul Walker in your bed and if you want him to rip your panties off. What a yummy yummy thought!!! :)
Amy: THANKS!!!
John: That’s EXACTLY what Sid said when I told her about vajayjay alfresco.
Laurie: Ditto thanks! :)
Indiyaa: Awwww, glad you all like it. :)
e: I’d never heard of the term “going commando” before. Wonder where it comes from. Wasn’t there a movie or a TV or something called “Commando” a bit ago? Circa the Rambo years?
kelly: FREELIPPING???? I love it … not as much as vajayjay alfresco, of course … but, it works!
Darwin: THANKS!!! :) By the way, “Bro” will be very excited to know that you can’t ride a bike because she can’t do it either.
December 4th, 2006 at 1:15 am
lol!!! vajayjay alfresco… power to the people!!! haha!
December 4th, 2006 at 3:42 am
lord, my comp crashed just when all the fun started! aaaaah! oh boy… so La Spears went a little nutso with her vajayjay alfresco… ah, girl, you get it right all the time! *lol*
and ditto to El about the miniskirt thing. i mean… WHO (in their right mind) would do that?!
December 4th, 2006 at 8:43 am
Tartrazina: Glad you like it!! :)
Firefly: She *DID*!! I didn’t look at all of the photos, but I think she was photographed flashing her goods more than once. Pull it together, Brit. Pull it together! And, about the miniskirt & bicycle … I thought everyone does that! :)
December 4th, 2006 at 11:30 am
Just catching up on my Funky Brown Diva…how on earth did you come up with “vajayjay alfresco?” Like they say in the Guinness commercials, brilliant!
December 4th, 2006 at 9:48 pm
Oh, thank you my dear!! :)
December 5th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
As if the word “vajayjay” wasn’t fantastic enough, you can to slap “alfresco” behind it. loves it!
:::walking away, giggling “vajayjay” to herself:::
December 6th, 2006 at 12:13 am
It rolls off of the tongue quite nicely, doesn’t it? :)
March 3rd, 2007 at 5:59 am
Your site best
March 3rd, 2007 at 10:41 am
Aww, thanks. :-)
June 11th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Commando makes no sense to me. I wear thong, bikini, and cheeky panties under my girly jeans. Wearing panties, now thats what i call freedom from uncomfortable and unstylish Tightey whities and boxer briefs, ewww dont get me started on boxers either, those are for thugs
August 6th, 2007 at 10:54 pm
It is called Freebuffing…if you are still wondering.
November 5th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
i always wear a miniskirt on a bicycle.
November 6th, 2007 at 12:18 am
victorias secret guy: More power to you victoria’s secret guy. :)
Freeballer: Oh, but, I like vajayjay al fresco.
A Guy: What a coincidence! So do I. :)
April 9th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
“It’s not because of fate, it’s because of Tequila” That may be the best thing I have ever read in my whole life!
November 29th, 2008 at 3:02 am
I am fifteen and have not worn them for years, or VERY rarely. I don’t wear miniskirts at all though, so it’s usually not an issue.
December 16th, 2008 at 2:34 am
back to the future….. this is deep…. me… once in a while….. it depends on the company….. with some black 501….. at times, buttons are better than zippers
lamesabassman….. just the thought of it all ….. whoa.