Comments on: Can Men & Women Be Friends, Part II http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/ Twanna is a sex, dating and relationships writer in New York City. She's funky. She has brown skin. And, she's a chick. FUNKYBROWNCHICK™ chronicles her life. Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:40:21 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: FUNKY BROWN CHICK http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-7420 FUNKY BROWN CHICK Tue, 19 Dec 2006 03:56:53 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/#comment-7420 Um ... Not exactly sure what the correlation is ... i.e. men + women + friends = bunch of pussies??? But, since you asked ... yes, in fact, I know that at least three of my readers are partnered with (two married, one dating) folks in the military. I logged time with the foreign service before coming back the the US a few years ago and, currently, I have friends serving in Iraq. But, again, none of that really has anything to do with the topic at hand -- which is, friendships between men and women. Um … Not exactly sure what the correlation is … i.e. men + women + friends = bunch of pussies???

But, since you asked … yes, in fact, I know that at least three of my readers are partnered with (two married, one dating) folks in the military. I logged time with the foreign service before coming back the the US a few years ago and, currently, I have friends serving in Iraq.

But, again, none of that really has anything to do with the topic at hand — which is, friendships between men and women.

]]> By: tim73 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-7416 tim73 Mon, 18 Dec 2006 22:49:04 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/#comment-7416 Shit, what a bunch a pussies. Have you guys ever like done something for the society like Army or Civil Service? Shit, what a bunch a pussies. Have you guys ever like done something for the society like Army or Civil Service?

]]> By: FUNKY BROWN CHICK http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-7403 FUNKY BROWN CHICK Mon, 18 Dec 2006 09:41:31 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/#comment-7403 <b>Darwin</b>: Yeah, it can probably be difficult at times. <b>Momok</b>: It sounds like you are friends, true friends. <b>MamaChristy</b>: YES. It's *totally* easier for me if either me or the guy is in a committed relationship. Then, I know that there's no way anything is gonna happen. It's harder when both are single. <b>HDW</b>: Oh, but I think most of us are ugly sights in the morning, aren't we? :-) <b>Maria</b>: THANKS!!! :-) Darwin: Yeah, it can probably be difficult at times.

Momok: It sounds like you are friends, true friends.

MamaChristy: YES. It’s *totally* easier for me if either me or the guy is in a committed relationship. Then, I know that there’s no way anything is gonna happen. It’s harder when both are single.

HDW: Oh, but I think most of us are ugly sights in the morning, aren’t we? :-)

Maria: THANKS!!! :-)

]]> By: Maria http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-7196 Maria Mon, 18 Dec 2006 01:56:18 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/#comment-7196 I LOVE your new look here. I LOVE your new look here.

]]> By: HDW http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-7194 HDW Mon, 18 Dec 2006 01:30:35 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/#comment-7194 I have three best friends who are guys, that I met years ago when I was single, and now we're each married and happily so. There's never been any sexual interest/tension or otherwise. I've slept in a bed with one after a concert and the most he did was wake up and tell me I was a really ugly sight to see in the morning. And he was probably quite accurate. But I adore them, and I'm so glad they're in my life as such. I have three best friends who are guys, that I met years ago when I was single, and now we’re each married and happily so. There’s never been any sexual interest/tension or otherwise. I’ve slept in a bed with one after a concert and the most he did was wake up and tell me I was a really ugly sight to see in the morning.

And he was probably quite accurate.

But I adore them, and I’m so glad they’re in my life as such.

]]> By: MamaChristy http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-7186 MamaChristy Sun, 17 Dec 2006 16:14:49 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/#comment-7186 I'll just throw this out there: Is it easier to be friends with a person of the opposite sex when you (or they) are already in a committed relationship? If one of you is unavailable, I think that might help keep the tension out of the friendship. I’ll just throw this out there: Is it easier to be friends with a person of the opposite sex when you (or they) are already in a committed relationship? If one of you is unavailable, I think that might help keep the tension out of the friendship.

]]> By: Momok http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-7140 Momok Sun, 17 Dec 2006 00:15:47 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/#comment-7140 Have to say, one of my best friend is a girl. I am not sexually attracted to her, this is not to mean she is not attractive. I don't drink and this makes for a safe combination. I genuinly care for her and we hang out a lot. We are very comfortable with each other. She talks to me about her boy friends and dating and stuff and I have absolutely no problem with who she is with or what she does. I wouldn't change our relationship for anything else or have it any other way! Have to say, one of my best friend is a girl. I am not sexually attracted to her, this is not to mean she is not attractive. I don’t drink and this makes for a safe combination.

I genuinly care for her and we hang out a lot. We are very comfortable with each other. She talks to me about her boy friends and dating and stuff and I have absolutely no problem with who she is with or what she does.

I wouldn’t change our relationship for anything else or have it any other way!

]]> By: Darwin http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-7114 Darwin Sat, 16 Dec 2006 22:33:03 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/#comment-7114 I have a lot of friends who are guys and I must say it works. Most of the time. Things get a little bit titchy when someone starts fancying someone else, and that feeling is only one way. I've had so many so-called guys who proclaimed undying friendship at the start, then started fancying me, and then do the whole 'fade' thing when I made it clear I only like them as a friend and nothing else. It's as if they're thinking "Ok so I know you don't like me right now but I'm going to pretend we're still cool and we're still friends because you might change your mind later! But if you DARE date anyone else then we're through!". I find all that drama unnecessary and rather tiresome now, so I'm pretty cautious about it now. I have a lot of friends who are guys and I must say it works. Most of the time. Things get a little bit titchy when someone starts fancying someone else, and that feeling is only one way. I’ve had so many so-called guys who proclaimed undying friendship at the start, then started fancying me, and then do the whole ‘fade’ thing when I made it clear I only like them as a friend and nothing else. It’s as if they’re thinking “Ok so I know you don’t like me right now but I’m going to pretend we’re still cool and we’re still friends because you might change your mind later! But if you DARE date anyone else then we’re through!”.

I find all that drama unnecessary and rather tiresome now, so I’m pretty cautious about it now.

]]> By: FUNKY BROWN CHICK http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-7108 FUNKY BROWN CHICK Sat, 16 Dec 2006 18:31:23 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/#comment-7108 <strong>Maria: </strong>Ditto here. I'm getting much better but, for a long time, I simply had *no* control over myself if / when I was attracted to a guy. <strong>Berry: </strong>I'm not sure what it is, but it does seem to be harder in New York. <strong>Mist1 & Maria: </strong>You two are too much!!! :) <strong>Errorboy: </strong>Interesting point! <strong>History Chic:  </strong>VERY good comment. With friends, *true* friends, it's probably a lot easier to not let the physical attraction get in the way of the friendship. <strong>Kristal: </strong>I'm warming up to that idea. I'd like to have more male friends (just friends) than I currently have. Maria: Ditto here. I’m getting much better but, for a long time, I simply had *no* control over myself if / when I was attracted to a guy.

Berry: I’m not sure what it is, but it does seem to be harder in New York.

Mist1 & Maria: You two are too much!!! :)
Errorboy: Interesting point!

History Chic:  VERY good comment. With friends, *true* friends, it’s probably a lot easier to not let the physical attraction get in the way of the friendship.

Kristal: I’m warming up to that idea. I’d like to have more male friends (just friends) than I currently have.

]]> By: Kristal http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-7105 Kristal Sat, 16 Dec 2006 11:47:39 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/12/15/can-men-women-be-friends-part-ii/#comment-7105 Remember "When Harry Met Sally," and Billy Crystal's characters' whole shpeel about how men and women couldn't be friends? His (well, Harry's, not necessarily Billy's) point was that they couldn't be friends because one always wants to have sex with the other, regardless of whether he/she finds her/him attractive. According to him, it doesn't matter if only one of them thinks that - the thought's already "out there"! They explain it a lot better and a lot funnier than I attempted to, heh. That said, yes, I believe men and women *can* be just friends, even if it's only for a short time. Remember “When Harry Met Sally,” and Billy Crystal’s characters’ whole shpeel about how men and women couldn’t be friends? His (well, Harry’s, not necessarily Billy’s) point was that they couldn’t be friends because one always wants to have sex with the other, regardless of whether he/she finds her/him attractive. According to him, it doesn’t matter if only one of them thinks that – the thought’s already “out there”!

They explain it a lot better and a lot funnier than I attempted to, heh.

That said, yes, I believe men and women *can* be just friends, even if it’s only for a short time.

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