Actually, now that I think about it, the island of Manhattan *is* rather phallic-shaped. But, I digress. Gather round, folks … After a two-week hiatus for the holiday season, Manly Mondays are back with even bigger testicles than ever before!! If you’re new to FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com, Manly Mondays are posts about anything and everything that drips & oozes testosterone. Today’s Manly Monday post shakes stuff up a bit. I’m kicking it old-school and writing a book report. Yep, a book report. And where, pray tell, do David Zinczenko’s balls fit into all of this? Well, just stay with me. I’m going somewhere with this one.
MEN, LOVE & SEX. In a nutshell, the book says this: men and women primarily want the same things, but we don’t always know that because we communicate differently. So, Zinczenko fights the good fight; he offers a cryptanalysis of what men say in order to reveal the true feelings hiding behind their words. What I like most about David Zinczenko is his balls. Really, I mean it. As a fellow believer in the No-Bullshit Philosophy of Life™, I applaud his balls-out & unapologetic approach to talking about men’s feelings. For example, Zinczenko says that women shouldn’t say, “I graduated magna cum laude.” Instead, they should say, “school was a breeze, but I was awful at keg stands.” Why? Because, as Zinczenko explains, “perfection is intimidating. Flaws are lovable.” Is that a somewhat sexist POV that suggests women should play down their intelligence — less they deign to intimidate the male species? Probably. Is Zinczenko apologetic about this? Absolutely not. He’s just calling it as he sees it. No apologies. No excuses. And, that takes courage (i.e. balls).
Although MEN, LOVE & SEX is an interesting read to say the very least, I think there’s one thing (ahem, two things) that could have made the book stronger: Bigger Balls. I would have enjoyed the book even more had Zinczenko held men more uncompromisingly responsible for their own actions. Take, for example, Zinczenko’s answer to the “Why do guys cheat?” question. “They’re looking for something” says the Z-man, “that they’re not getting – or no longer getting – at home.” Wait a minute. Women are to blame if men cheat? I smell 1960s bullshit aged to perfection. I think men cheat for the same reason that women do it: selfishness. Men, sack up. Women, ovary up. You are the only person responsible for your actions. And, actually, that’s exactly the message that’s missing from David Zinczenko’s book. My recommendation? Read MEN, LOVE & SEX for yourself. It delivers exactly what it promises by letting you know how men think. It’s definitely a portal into men’s brains. And, really, who wouldn’t want in?
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Be sure to tune in to Dating Roadkill tonight at 10:00PM EST for “Bitches. Men Love Them.” Our featured guest Sherry Argov, author of the New York Times bestseller WHY MEN MARRY BITCHES, will share her opinions about bitches. Call in to share yours!
UPDATE: If you missed the show, click here to listen to the archived podcast.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Dave is right. I know this from personal experience. The stronger, assertive and independent I am, the faster they run. I’m not sure I’m willing to concede, even a little to be a damsel in distress though.
If all goes well, tonight will be the first night I tune into your show! So sorry it’s taken me so long- stupid traveling in blizzards and what not. Looking forward to it!!
Happy 2007, m’dear.
Hmmmm, his whole “not getting something at home” line is a little bit like giving the man an excuse to cheat without actually making him be a man and say something is wrong. I haven’t read the book though, I may need to read the whole thing.
I hopefully will be home from the game in time to catch the show live…if not, I will definetly listen to the replay. I can’t wait to hear what she says, I loved the book and I am sure that the listeners will have plenty to add :)
I agree with what you said about why people cheat- selfishness, as opposed to blaming the cheatee (I just invented a new word!).
To be honest I rarely read books of this genre. The only one of it’s kind I read was The Game by Neil Strauss which I thought was pretty cool in an eye-opening sort of way. Call me geeky but I much rather prefer science-ish books – current flame is The Goldilocks Enigma.
IMHO people ‘cheat’ because they want to feel loved, adored, appreciated or simply alive (excitement).
There’s nothing wrong in wanting or demanding this from life, because it is mighty short, so I think selfishness is good for the soul.
If we expressed our hopes/dreams & fears more often, and acted on them once in a while if not fulfilled ‘at home’, this would be a much better place and we would all be better off.
PS Before you think I condone ‘typical male behavior’: recent studies show women cheat *more* than men http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006600199,00.html )
in response to fairmaiden,
how can we as women be strong, independent and assertive and NOT get the guy, but be a bitch (see yesterday’s post) and get the guy? Don’t males view it as the same thing?
Ok, tried to listen…it wouldn’t let me connect..dang it :) I will have to listen tomorrow :(
Yeah Donna. It’s like, so which is it…do you want a bitch or a push-over?
In my opinion, it doesn’t take much balls to be an asshole. Any dumb-dumb with even a half-way functioning brainstem knows about this idea of women having to dumb themselves down to not be intimidating. Personally, I think that’s every bit as insulting to men as it is woman. You would think men would get twisted about the idea that a they can’t handle a woman being their equal, so they need someone to downplay who they are to elevate men. I mean, really. Personally? I hope there are a lot more women like FairMaiden who aren’t willing to conceed, but I hope there are even more men that love women like her for it.
ok…tried to listen to your show live, but it’s not giving an option to listen to tonight’s show. :(
FairMaiden327: Agreed. I’ve never been one to play the damsel in distress role either.
HDW: Colorado has been hit pretty bad lately. Stay warm, cutie!!! :)
History Chic: I read your comment on my bitches post when I was live on the air last night. Be sure to listen to the podcast! I was debating between reading your comment and an email from one of my Australian readers. Your comment won out.
Darwin: In my reading, I oscilate between super-heavy, dark & depressing “State of the World” international relations stuff and the more light & fluffy relationship books.
ErrorBoy: Oh my dear sweet Buddha with a big round belly! Your comment is so meaty that it has actually inspired me to write a full post about the topic of “cheating” & relationships. Stay tuned. Coming soon.
Donna: Good point!
History Chic: Shoot me an email (funkybrownchick, on yahoo) and let me know what error you got and/or what didn’t work. I’ll see what we can do to remedy it before next week’s show. If the FBC readers want Dating Roadkill, nothing better stand in their way dammit! ;)
Shasta MacNasty: You said, “I think that’s every bit as insulting to men as it is women. VERY good observation. And, yes, FairMaiden is GREAT! She’s a fellow New Yorker, so I’ve had the pleasure of her company over lunch not once, but TWICE. She rocks. But the way … sorry you couldn’t listen live. But the beauty of internet radio is that you can always listen to the podcast later. It’s available at: http://blogtalkradio.com/datingroadkill.