From the monthly archives:

January 2007

Hey Baby, Is That Your Blog?

“Mmmmmm, you looking mighty fine right now. So fine, in fact, that you make me wanna kiss you. But, I can’t kiss you. Because, you know, I don’t *know* you. And, you know … you might have oral herpes or some shit like that.* So, because I can’t kiss you, would you mind if I sent a few of my sexy readers your way instead? Maybe *they’ll* kiss you. What’s that you say? No, you don’t mind? Mmm, okay . . .”

You probably all ready read one or more of the blogs below. If you don’t, you should. They give damn good blog! So, check them out. Oh, and, um, give them all a kiss from me when you see them, okay? ;)

  1. Mamacita [blog]. Joan absolutely rocks and that pretty much sums it up.
  2. Single Life in the City [blog]. Her write-up / plug (THANK YOU!!!) for my radio show, Dating Roadkill, was so unbelievably well-written that I actually stole a lot of the language and used it for a press release promoting the show [with her permission, of course].
  3. overworked & underf*cked [blog]. I can totally & completely 100% relate to this post. Her writing and blog subject matter kick ass equally well.
  4. Shasta MacNasty [blog]. How the hell could anyone *not* love brown girls who live in Chicago????
  5. Stephanie Says [blog]. Her dating flow chart is genius, sheer genius.
  6. The Assimilated Negro [blog]. I hear he’s H-O-T.
  7. Scott-O-Rama [blog]. I can’t believe that I’ve only recently discovered this fabulous blogger!!!

* For the record, I’m sure *none* of the folks listed above have oral herpes. ;-)

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Psst! The podcast of last night’s Dating Roadkill is now available. Hit the “play” button above. And, ooh, ooh, ooh .. don’t forget to leave a comment on THAT site to share your thoughts on the show.

{ 7 folks got down with the Funky Brown }

David Zinczenko Has Balls the Size of Manhattan

Actually, now that I think about it, the island of Manhattan *is* rather phallic-shaped. But, I digress. Gather round, folks … After a two-week hiatus for the holiday season, Manly Mondays are back with even bigger testicles than ever before!! If you’re new to FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com, Manly Mondays are posts about anything and everything that drips & oozes testosterone. Today’s Manly Monday post shakes stuff up a bit. I’m kicking it old-school and writing a book report. Yep, a book report. And where, pray tell, do David Zinczenko’s balls fit into all of this? Well, just stay with me. I’m going somewhere with this one.

MEN, LOVE & SEX. In a nutshell, the book says this: men and women primarily want the same things, but we don’t always know that because we communicate differently. So, Zinczenko fights the good fight; he offers a cryptanalysis of what men say in order to reveal the true feelings hiding behind their words. What I like most about David Zinczenko is his balls. Really, I mean it. As a fellow believer in the No-Bullshit Philosophy of Life™, I applaud his balls-out & unapologetic approach to talking about men’s feelings. For example, Zinczenko says that women shouldn’t say, “I graduated magna cum laude.” Instead, they should say, “school was a breeze, but I was awful at keg stands.” Why? Because, as Zinczenko explains, “perfection is intimidating. Flaws are lovable.” Is that a somewhat sexist POV that suggests women should play down their intelligence — less they deign to intimidate the male species? Probably. Is Zinczenko apologetic about this? Absolutely not. He’s just calling it as he sees it. No apologies. No excuses. And, that takes courage (i.e. balls).

Although MEN, LOVE & SEX is an interesting read to say the very least, I think there’s one thing (ahem, two things) that could have made the book stronger: Bigger Balls. I would have enjoyed the book even more had Zinczenko held men more uncompromisingly responsible for their own actions. Take, for example, Zinczenko’s answer to the “Why do guys cheat?” question. “They’re looking for something” says the Z-man, “that they’re not getting – or no longer getting – at home.” Wait a minute. Women are to blame if men cheat? I smell 1960s bullshit aged to perfection. I think men cheat for the same reason that women do it: selfishness. Men, sack up. Women, ovary up. You are the only person responsible for your actions. And, actually, that’s exactly the message that’s missing from David Zinczenko’s book. My recommendation? Read MEN, LOVE & SEX for yourself. It delivers exactly what it promises by letting you know how men think. It’s definitely a portal into men’s brains. And, really, who wouldn’t want in?

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Be sure to tune in to Dating Roadkill tonight at 10:00PM EST for “Bitches. Men Love Them.” Our featured guest Sherry Argov, author of the New York Times bestseller WHY MEN MARRY BITCHES, will share her opinions about bitches. Call in to share yours!

UPDATE: If you missed the show, click here to listen to the archived podcast.

I Have a Talk Show

{ 10 folks got down with the Funky Brown }

What’s Your Opinion about Bitches?

Okay, so, I know two things: (1) I want folks who want Dating Roadkill updates to have an opportunity to receive them, and (2) I don’t want FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com to become *completely* eclipsed by Dating Roadkill. My heart has much love for both of my babies — my blog and my radio show. So, I’ve come up with a plan. For the run of the show’s series, Fridays at the FBC are reserved for Dating Roadkill posts. If you crave more juicy details about the show, you can always subscribe to Dating Roadkill’s feed and/or befriend the show on MySpace. And, now, because it’s Friday, here’s your lovely Dating Roadkill post …

Guess what? Drum roll, please . . . [insert repeated "buh-rum-rum" sound] . . . The woman who wrote the book “Why Men Marry Bitches”, Sherry Argov, will be the featured guest for the next Dating Roadkill. Woot! Woot! (Some of you already knew this from a comment left on my other post.) The segment “Bitches. Men Love Them” airs Monday at 10:00PM EST. But, ooh ooh ooh, guest what else? :) BlogTalkRadio just listed it as a “featured show” on their home page. YAY!!

So, remember when I asked you guys if you thought that men think bitches are sexy? Weeeelll, this is your chance to have your thoughts heard. Speak up. Call in & join the conversation. Really. Don’t miss out this one. If you can’t listen live, be sure to download the podcast and/or listen later online whenever you’d like. Click here to find out how to listen. Now, since we’re on the subject, for those of you who can’t call in (and for anyone else who would like to do so), share your thoughts here! Leave your comments, questions, or stories about this topic in the comment section. I’ll try to read a few of them on air. You don’t have to be witty, fabulous or a dating genius. You just have to be honest. So, come on, fess up … what’s *your* opinion about bitches?

{ 13 folks got down with the Funky Brown }

Anal is the New Oral

According to New York Magazine, anal is the new oral — at least for women it is. Now, before I go any further down the road to this conversation, I just wanna set a few things straight. Today’s post is not raunchy. And, believe it or not, it’s not meant to be even remotely arousing. This is simply an honest question / discussion about sexual behaviors between consenting adults. Got it? Okay, now that we’re all on the same page …

Sex. Let’s talk about it. I think the anal article is really interesting; so, I’m just doing what I usually do when stumble across interesting things in the World Old There—I’m blogging about it. However, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I had my reservations about writing today’s post. What do I mean? Well, the article’s three main points are:

  1. Anal is what oral was 15 years ago—an unspoken sexual taboo
  2. Male-to-female anal is on the rise between intimate partners
  3. Men fear female-to-male penetration due to “a potent mix of sexism and homophobia”

So, there’s nothing more that I’d like to do right now than to ask you guys whether you agree or disagree with each of those points. But, I’m afraid. “Are they really gonna wanna talk about anal?” I wonder. “Is everyone gonna think that I’ve lost it and/or crossed over into the category of NSFW?” These questions and others brought along a sad realization. This: I don’t think that we — and by we, I mean Americans — talk about sex in an open, honest, and healthy manner as much as we could. There shouldn’t be anything wrong or “tacky” about writing this post and asking you guys whether agree or disagree with the three points of the article. So, actually you know what … I’m just gonna do it. Please use the comment section of this post to state whether you agree or disagree with the article’s main points mentioned above. (Or, of course, you could always *not* comment and thereby prove my point that Americans don’t talk about sex in an open, honest, and healthy manner as much as we could.)

{ 23 folks got down with the Funky Brown }

I Want 2006 Back

I’m not ready for 2007. All of the magazines, TV shows and various blogs have done the “2006 Wrap Up.” Me? I’m just not ready for it. I don’t know what it is lately, but I feel like my life is 2 – 3 steps ahead of me and I’m just struggling to run and keep up. Work is fine. It’s just my personal life. It’s like, okay, spring classes start soon. Have I registered yet? No. Or, like, do I wanna make a list of personal goals that I’d like to accomplish this year? Yes. Have I done that yet? No. Do I need to get organized? Yes. Has it happened? No. Do I have a “To Do” list that’s a fuckmile long? Uh-huh. Is anything crossed off on it yet? Nope. I have unanswered emails an telephone calls. And, I haven’t checked my postal mail in a week. So, yeah, you get the point. My personal life is a bit “scattered” at the moment.

Man, I really think I needed an extra week tacked on to the end of 2006. The last week or so that year and these first few days of 2007 have been a whirlwind. There was the flight home for Christmas, the return to New York, and the NYE celebrations with friends. It’s all been a blast. But, I’ve noticed that 2007 has sneaked up on me. I kind of wish that I could feel what the organized and/or anal retentive among us are probably feeling now — “out with the old and in with the new.” For me, for now, I’m running a little behind. It feels more like “still need to hurry up and deal with (or get rid of) the old and get ready for the new.” Hmmmm … maybe I’ll carve out a bit more “organization time” over these next few days and throughout the weekend. Does anyone else out there have this same “I’m behind” feeling right now?

{ 7 folks got down with the Funky Brown }

Guess What I Did On New Year’s Day?

Yesterday. New Year’s Day. Can you believe it? It’s 2007 already. Where did last year go? I’m still working on my list of goals and resolutions for the new year; as soon as I get that finished, I’ll probably post them here for you guys. By the way, speaking of yesterday, I just want to be sure to give a lovely shout out to everyone who participated in the series premiere of Dating Roadkill! To each of the guests — Alison, Maria, Matt and Joan — MUCHAS GRACIAS for participating!!! You were all very candid and honest; I appreciate your willingness to share your stories. Thank you, also, to the wonderful call-ins: MamaChristy & the guy in Washington with the boots. And, of course, big fat smooches to all of the folks over at BlogTalkRadio for making Dating Roadkill possible.

For those of you who missed the live show … fret not! Dating Roadkill is an internet radio show and podcast; you can choose to listen live or listen later. To listen now, simply click the image below and listen to “Worst Dating Stories Ever!!” (If you have any difficulties accessing the show, let me know.)

blog radio

Next week’s show is “Bitches. Men Love Them.” If good guys finish last, good girls NEVER finish. So, if you’d like to be a Dating Roadkill guest for this segment, email me. I’m looking for nice girls, bitches, nice guys, guys who love bitches, etc. etc. You get the point. And, finally, of course, I’d love to get your feedback regarding last night’s show. So, if you listened to the live segment or the podcast, please use the comment section to share your impressions.

{ 10 folks got down with the Funky Brown }

Happy New Year!!!!

Hey folks, hope you all had a good New Year’s Eve!! Mine was good. Filled with party and bullshit. I’ll tell you all about it soon. Right now, I’ve gotta run errands and get some other stuff done before doing my radio show tonight. So, yeah, don’t forget — I’m bringing sexy back to internet radio!!! :-) Tune in and check Dating Roadkill out tonight at 10:00PM EST. (If you want to automatically convert 10pm New York time to *your* time zone, visit THIS site and select your location.) And, of course, if you want full details about how to tune in and listen, check out Dating Roadkill 101.

{ 6 folks got down with the Funky Brown }

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