The Men I Can’t Love (this time I *mean* it)
Apologies for the post-free days. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking … and partying … a friend & Wild Child Party Girl is in town for the weekend. More on that later. For now, I wanna talk about the stuff I’ve been thinking about … Okay, so, remember Mr. Responsible? Rewind a few days. Well, out of the blue, he gives me a call. I’d neither called nor heard from him in ages. So, we’re on the phone and we’re catching up, right? We chat. We make plans to meet for lunch on Wednesday.
So, Wednesday arrives and we’re at lunch, right? It goes well. Really well. He tells me about a woman that he’s been seeing for the past seven months, and I tell him about about a boy that I recently wanted to handcuff to my bed. Mr. Responsible and I laugh. We eat. We make plans to meet up again soon. Okay, so, after lunch, I can’t help but think: You know what? Mr. Responsible is a good guy. Really. He is. He’s attractive, he’s smart, he’s successful, he’s interesting, he’s got a good heart and he’s just genuinely a really good person. Why, oh why, didn’t I want to date him when he was single?!?!”
To be clear, I’m not saying that I want to date Mr. Responsible now. I’m just saying that I find myself thinking about him much more now than I did back then. Sometimes I think I’m secretively and unconsciously always falling for the wrong guy. Hmmm … the men I can’t love. It’s like I can’t ever seem to love the right guys — instead I spend my time lusting over wrong ones.
March 3rd, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Oh Stolie, I know exactly what you mean. The more unavailable a guy is, the more attractive I find him. I get bored with guys who chase after me too much, so once they move on and are with someone else, I start thinking “hey he’s pretty cute, why didn’t I see that before?”.
March 4th, 2007 at 6:43 am
Hi FBC
I just discovered your blog a few weeks ago, and I really enjoy it!
But I’m kinda surprised to see a dating-experienced girl like you be surprised that you find Mr. Responsible more interesting now he has a girl of his own. I mean, the fancy-the-wrong-guy is like rule number 2, right after “You’ll fall in love when you least expect it”.
Rule number 2 comes in different versions, though:
- a guy in a relationship is always more interesting than a single one.
- a bad guy is always more interesting than a good one.
- a troublesome guy is always more interesting than a happy-go-lucky one.
That doesn’t make it less frustrating, of course! I’ve known a few Mr. responsibles, too. One of them is getting married in a couple of months, and even though he is the the right for me, I can’t help wondering: How would it be to be her right now?
March 4th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
It’s the same story that has plagued women since the beginning of time – falling for the wrong guy; unable to love the nice guy. I don’t know what the answer is.
March 5th, 2007 at 12:22 am
Darwin: Ah, it’s horrible isn’t it? :)
Nanna: Welcome to the blog!!! :-) Glad you enjoy it, and thanks for commenting. About the whole, “more interesting now he has a girl of his own”. Yeah, I know, this is like the way that it always goes. But, it’s kind of like getting into a car accident. Logically, I know that these things happen. But, still, I was really suprised the first time that I got into an accident. Does that make sense? You know, it’s like you *know* why something is happening, but you’re still surprised by it. By the way, LOVE the way you spelled out the two rules.
GrizzBabe: Yeah, I’m convinced that the answer to that is one of the great secrets of the earth.
March 5th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Oh, my dear Stolie. If you are now realizing that Mr. Responsible is a good catch, then you’re on the road to recovery from “if he’s not 100% perfect, then he’s not for me.” I want you to be with somebody wonderful, but perfection is unachievable for us lowly humans.
March 5th, 2007 at 10:48 pm
I’m getting there. I’m not there completely. But, I’m getting there. Sometimes I honestly think that I may be searching for the impossible in my dating life. :-)