Open Letter to Dates Who Find My Blog
March 7th, 2007 ·
Dear Dudes:
Damn! Damn! Damn!!! And, really, I mean every word. You see, here’s my dilemma: I have a blog, and this might make you very uncomfortable. In fact, in the past, a couple of men refused to date me when they learned that (among other things) I’m a sex, dating and relationships writer. Crazy, huh? It makes me a little sad. So, for the first time, I’ve decided to write this open letter to express what this blog is, and why I think it shouldn’t bear any weight on your decision to date me.
First, let’s talk about the blog. I started FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com in June 2005. Adjusting to life in New York City was difficult because nothing worked out as I planned. I needed an outlet to voice my frustrations, but I’d taxed my friends and I couldn’t afford a new therapist. Thus, this blog was born. I expected to blog for exactly one year. But, when the year expired, I continued blogging. I’d developed a small following of really loyal and faithful readers. I’ve met some in person. Others have hosted me when I visited their cities. And a few sent me Christmas cards, humorous books and presents as well as postcards from faraway lands. Further, my readers — both new and old ones — leave comments with helpful advice, funny stories and other thoughts that have (on more than one occasion) made my day when I needed it the most. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I’ve got the best readers in the world.
So, now that I’ve told you all about this blog, let’s talk a little bit about your appearance in it. Simply put, this blog isn’t about you. It’s about me. Me, my impressions of New York City and my reactions to my dating life.
I’ve kept a written journal since I was 14 years old. I find writing to be very cathartic, and it’s often easier for me to write the things that I cannot speak. So, yeah — whether in my private journal or on this blog — I’m going to write about my life in some fashion or another. The difference between the blog and my private journal is, here, you read the things that I write / think / feel. If you want to know me better, this could be a good thing, no? So, if you’re still extremely uncomfortable with my blog, even after reading all of this … I’d bet the chances are pretty good I’m not the right person for you. Nor you for me.
Yours ( … if you can handle me),
The Funky Brown Chick
March 7th, 2007 ·
March 7th, 2007 | 
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Hi, I'm 
You should look at this in a positive way. People who get weirded out by the blog are probably incompatible with you anyway so they’d freak out over something else if the blog wasn’t there. Think of it as a freak-removal-barrier of sorts.
Hmmmz strange that person would consider a blog more important than the person they would date.
I would never even write about who im dating. Thats my bizz, unless its Jessica Alba off course. She deserves a mention. :P
anywho I can handle you ;)
Funkybrownchick–
on the serious tip–you’ve met some “interesting” fellows. are you worried about the safety aspect?
Darwin: I never thought of that! I like it.
Papigiulio: You said: “strange that person would consider a blog more important than the person they would date.” You’d be surprised!! Oh, and, by the way, Exactly how are you so sure that you could handle me? ;-)
Rochelle: Ro, you bring up a good point. Quite honestly, the safely thing is an issue whether you meet someone online or offline. And, in general, my “safety rules” are pretty stringent; I think I tend to err on the side of OVERcaution as a result of some of the fucking FREAKS that I’ve met in my past. :-)
That was all really well said, and I relate to about 98% of it. I don’t want dates finding my blog either, but like you, I don’t really think they should be paranoid if they do. I don’t post any particularly identifying details and like you said, the blog’s about me, not them.
You know why I REALLY hate the idea of a date finding my blog, though? Because a man who stumbles across it and isn’t scared off has, at his disposal, sooo much information about what I like, what I don’t, and what makes me tick. It makes things a little (no, a LOT) too easy for him, and it’s not fair. Plus, I’d never know when he was sincere and when he was just saying what he thought I wanted to hear or professing a like for things he thinks I want him to like. Know what I mean?
Yes. I *TOTALLY* know what you mean. It’s like when a potential date finds your blog, they kind of have a “handbook” of your likes, dislikes, etc. So, you always want to know if they’re just following the play book or being genuine in the things that they’re saying.