Have you ever found yourself attracted to a man who you thought was completely adorable — only to have him open his mouth and completely ruin it for you? This is the topic of my discussion with Brilliant Tranny Coworker. And, I’m not being facetious; [s]he really is brilliant. But, anyway, so Brilliant Tranny Coworker and I are chatting the other day when [s]he asks, “Is it a bad thing that I think Michael Oliver is attractive?” [S]he laughs, “You should blog about that: people you’re attracted to who you totally shouldn’t be.” Man, I *love* it when people give me random ideas for blog article topics! So, here we go … If Looks Could Kill: Good-looking People Who Would Be More Attractive If Their Bigotry, Child Molestation Charges, Murder Records or Other General Character Flaws Didn’t Get In The Way. Shit. That’s waaay too long. How about this: Creeps, Serial Killers and Other Hotties? That works. I’m gonna roll with it.
Here we go … Channel surfing one day, I saw Andrew Cunanan’s image flashed across my television screen. “Oooooh,” I purred, “he’s hot!!! Who is he?!?!” Unfortunately, the man who could rock both the Thuggish look (#3) and the Hot Geek look (#4) equally well, was the accused killer of prolific designer Gianni Versace. Oops.The next baddy hottie is R. Kelly (#5). Ah, where do I begin with this guy? Before I found out that he was a child molester who loves flirting with criminal charges for statutory rape, I always just thought that R. Kelly was an attractive R&B songbird who happened to work out at the same gym that I did in Chicago. But, anyway, moving right along to Ted Bundy (#2). The O.D.: Original Deviant. I don’t think I was alive when he went on his killing spree, but I did see the movie “The Deliberate Stranger”. (I think it was on Lifetime. Seems like a Lifetime movie, no?) Anyway, when Teddy isn’t making Serial Killer Eyes, he actually looks kind of attractive. And, now, for our final baddy hottie of the day: Tyson Beckford (#1). I loves me some of him. To my knowledge, he’s neither a serial killer nor a child molester. But, he’s on the list because, well … Remember the other day when we all agreed that smart = sexy? Well, I’m not saying that Tyson isn’t smart. I’m just saying that, if I ever met him in person, I’m willing to go out on a limb and guess that he’d be the guy I’d totally think was hot until he opened his mouth. “Oh, baby, no,” I’d say, “Mama just wants you to close your mouth and hush up before you ruin this, okay sweetie?”
Now it’s your turn. Do you have a Secret Creepy Hottie? It doesn’t have to be a serial killer or anything that drastic. Tell us a story about a hot man or a woman whose actions or words totally killed their “it” factor.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m going to sound shallow, but I hate it when I talk to a cutie guy and when he opens his mouth, a purse falls out.
I used to like Peter Andre…*shudders*. Now I confess I could maybe might have a tiny thing for Russell Brand although I’d never ever admit to it. Oh and Ryan Seacrest too despite not being able to tell which way he swings!
Howard: Ooooh, are you talking about the guys with really high-pitched voices. I’m not a fan either.
Darwin: I **LOVE** Ryan Seacrest!!! Is he on the British version of Idol, too???
You guys are tame! :) I’ll admit — before I learned that he was chopping up and eating men of color all over Milwaukee, I thought Jeffrey Dahmer was kind of cute. I know, I know, I’m burning in hell for that one…
I know!!!!!!!!!! No one spoke up to talk about their *REALLY* guilty crushes. Come on, now. NO ONE thought Scott Peterson was kind of cute before it was revealed that he was the one who killed Lacy?!?!?!?!
Great post! With me it’s Brian Nichols, the Atlanta Courthouse shooter…I know that I’m wrong for this, but he has such a nice, strong jaw!
OMG! I’m gone a month and you run into the fantasy arms of serial killers and child molesters?!?!
Clearly I need to come back for a spell, if only to turn you on to sexy geeks.
Oh! You did know it was tartan week, right? That means the city is crawling with scots with expense accounts. Smooch some boys in kilts for me! Nevermind. I’ll come down and grab my own, lol.
:D
Rochelle: I’m so glad that you said that!! Seeeee, I’m not alone. :-)
sid: You *have* been gone. Where are you hiding these days?? :-( And, no, didn’t know about tartan week. It sounds GREAT!!! Am I a perv if I walk around the groups of Scottish boys and innocently drop my purse so that I can look um their skirts, um, I mean “kilts”?? You know they freeball it under there, right? :-)
Ted Bundy- I will burn in hell for saying this, but yes, I think he was hot too. It’s a good thing I wasn’t alive in the ’70s. I’m a college-age brunette, and that was exactly his key prey!
Jeffrey Dahmer- when he wasn’t wearing glasses and cleaned himself up, I think he was cute too.
Richard Ramirez- what can I say? The man has some nice cheekbones.