UPDATE:

The news that I thought I could share has to be put on hold for a while. But, on an unrelated topic … I’ll have you all know that I have been without DSL for ** four f*cking DAYS!!! **   :(  It’s killing me. How did people keep in touch with friends, entertain themselves, and do their banking before the internet??? Luckily, it’s supposed to be back up and running by tomorrow last afternoon. I’ll be back to blogging then.

Hey folks! Sorry for the post-free days (yesterday, today). I have stuff brewing right now, but I can’t really talk about it just yet. More details soon. VERY soon …

Quick Question: Does anyone know where I can get a tight little green T-shirt that either says “I’m Not Irish But Fuck Me Anyway” or “I’m A Drinker, Not A Fighter”? I can’t believe St. Paddy’s Day is this weekend. It’s like the days of 2007 are zooming right past me. One day it’s New Year’s and the next it’s St. Paddy’s. I always feel like of like a geek / tourist / rookie when I celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. But, I can’t help it. I’m a sucker for holidays in general. But, I digress. Whatever. Back to the matter at hand …

Every Monday, as many of you know, I take a moment to celebrate the nice, young, fine, bedicked bretheren of the earth. Yep. Men. *MAN*ly Monday. (Psst! If you want to see all previous Manly Monday posts, click here.) So, who are we celebrating today? Why, none other than the actor, producer, CK Underwear model, Academy Award-nominatee formerly known as the 90’s rapper “Marky Mark”.

“So, why Mark Walhberg today?” you might ask. Well, okay, follow me on this one … St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner, right? Question: Who celebrates St. Patrick’s Day??? Answer: Every self-respecting drinker. Oh, and, yeah, a couple of Irish-American folks celebrate, too.

Mark Walhberg is rough-and-tough Irish boy from Boston. But, you know what? He’s hot. And, that’s exactly why we’re celebrating him today. Man, I could hardly watch the movie Truth About Charlie. Have you seen it? It came out 4 or 5 years ago. Mark Wahlberg is in it. He’s hot, his co-star (Thandie Newton) is hot and the whole thing takes place in Paris, France. Sizzling. I swear I almost burned my eyeballs up by watching it. If you haven’t seen it, you should check it out. If you’re interested, there’s a pretty decent writeup of it on Salon.com.

Hmmm … I could go on and on about Marky Mark, but I guess I’ll stop there. But, before I go, lemme ask you this: What are you doing for St. Patrick’s Day this year?

Folks. Pack it up, pack it in and let me begin. Hmm … with St. Paddy’s Day right around the corner (is it *really* almost mid-March????), here’s a little theme music to get you in the mood:

Hell yeah! I came to get down. I came to fucking get down!!! :) And, speaking of those white rappers getting down, I had lunch with the Fair Maiden yesterday. No, she’s not a white rapper. But, she and I did have lunch. And, I did indeed tell her about an idea for getting down. You see, here’s what I have in mind … So, there are a lot of single, sexy bloggers (and readers) in New York City, right? I think it would be great if a couple of us could get together for Happy Hour sometime. Nothing huge or fancy. Just a little happy hour. A “Single. Sexy. Blogging” happy hour. Maybe around 7pm on Friday, March 23. It’s at 6:00pm on May 4th. Email me if you’re an FBC reader (or a fellow blogger) and you didn’t get the email with all of the details.

The other day, one of my super-fabulous readers sent me a very nice, sweet and encouraging message about job searching. In his email, he also asked me a question that made me think. “What is it,” he asks, “that makes you tick? What makes you happy?” I thought about it and here are a few of my answers (in no particular order):

1. Writing
2. Creating art
3. Sunny weather
4. Happy people
5. Success
6. Progressive politics
7. Chocolate
8. Travel
9. Men
10. Smiling faces
11. My nephews
12. My friends
13. My sister
14. New York City
15. Self-awareness
16. Growth
17. Surprises
18. Fashion
19. Kisses
20. Ocean views
21. Beaches
22. Bare flesh
23. Paintings
24. Art
25. Interesting film
26. Buttery popcorn
27. Barack Obama
28. Paul Walker
29. Central Park
30. Choc-raspberry cupcakes with vanilla frosting

… and the list goes on. So, tell me, what makes *YOU* happy?

Dear Dudes:

Damn! Damn! Damn!!! And, really, I mean every word. You see, here’s my dilemma: I have a blog, and this might make you very uncomfortable. In fact, in the past, a couple of men refused to date me when they learned that (among other things) I’m a sex, dating and relationships writer. Crazy, huh? It makes me a little sad. So, for the first time, I’ve decided to write this open letter to express what this blog is, and why I think it shouldn’t bear any weight on your decision to date me.

First, let’s talk about the blog. I started FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com in June 2005. Adjusting to life in New York City was difficult because nothing worked out as I planned. I needed an outlet to voice my frustrations, but I’d taxed my friends and I couldn’t afford a new therapist. Thus, this blog was born. I expected to blog for exactly one year. But, when the year expired, I continued blogging. I’d developed a small following of really loyal and faithful readers. I’ve met some in person. Others have hosted me when I visited their cities. And a few sent me Christmas cards, humorous books and presents as well as postcards from faraway lands. Further, my readers — both new and old ones — leave comments with helpful advice, funny stories and other thoughts that have (on more than one occasion) made my day when I needed it the most. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I’ve got the best readers in the world.

So, now that I’ve told you all about this blog, let’s talk a little bit about your appearance in it. Simply put, this blog isn’t about you. It’s about me. Me, my impressions of New York City and my reactions to my dating life.

I’ve kept a written journal since I was 14 years old. I find writing to be very cathartic, and it’s often easier for me to write the things that I cannot speak. So, yeah — whether in my private journal or on this blog — I’m going to write about my life in some fashion or another. The difference between the blog and my private journal is, here, you read the things that I write / think / feel. If you want to know me better, this could be a good thing, no? So, if you’re still extremely uncomfortable with my blog, even after reading all of this … I’d bet the chances are pretty good I’m not the right person for you. Nor you for me.

Yours ( … if you can handle me),

The Funky Brown Chick

Technorati Tags: Chicago, Illinois

Forget the drag costume for a second, and answer this question: is America really ready for an Italian-American president whose last names contains more vowels than consonants? Hmmm … I don’t know. In any case, I’m sure that Rudy is happy that he can now add “Funky Brown Chick’s Manly Monday Pick” to his resume. The 2008 election should be an interesting one. The Mormon? The African American? The Woman? The Environmentalist? I know who I’ll vote for; but, I’m not sure if that person would win. Now, all politics aside, answer this question: When you saw the photo of Rudy Giuliani dressed in drag, did you think that it was droolworthy … or not?

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Today’s FBC post at Nerve: Commitmentphobia in New York City

Apologies for the post-free days. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking … and partying … a friend & Wild Child Party Girl is in town for the weekend. More on that later. For now, I wanna talk about the stuff I’ve been thinking about … Okay, so, remember Mr. Responsible? Rewind a few days. Well, out of the blue, he gives me a call. I’d neither called nor heard from him in ages. So, we’re on the phone and we’re catching up, right? We chat. We make plans to meet for lunch on Wednesday.

So, Wednesday arrives and we’re at lunch, right? It goes well. Really well. He tells me about a woman that he’s been seeing for the past seven months, and I tell him about about a boy that I recently wanted to handcuff to my bed. Mr. Responsible and I laugh. We eat. We make plans to meet up again soon. Okay, so, after lunch, I can’t help but think: You know what? Mr. Responsible is a good guy. Really. He is. He’s attractive, he’s smart, he’s successful, he’s interesting, he’s got a good heart and he’s just genuinely a really good person. Why, oh why, didn’t I want to date him when he was single?!?!”

To be clear, I’m not saying that I want to date Mr. Responsible now. I’m just saying that I find myself thinking about him much more now than I did back then. Sometimes I think I’m secretively and unconsciously always falling for the wrong guy. Hmmm … the men I can’t love. It’s like I can’t ever seem to love the right guys — instead I spend my time lusting over wrong ones.