May 112007

Yesterday, someone arrived at my blog by googling: how to seduce your grandma. Wanna see? Click here to check out a cropped screen shot from my sitemeter. Wow. How. To. Seduce. Your. Grandma. I’m actually kind of disturbed by that. But, don’t get me wrong. I think it’s FANTABULOUS that more and more younger men are getting all hot and bothered by the older women over 50. But, what exactly *is* it with older women these days? Seriously. If MILFs were all the rage last year, 2007 seems to be shaping up to be the year of the GILFs (grandmother I’d like to…)

I hear people Magazine did a new “beautiful at every age” gallery of older women. (Hey, hasn’t Essence Magazine already been doing that on an annual basis for, like, um, *years*????) But, anyway, I guess people … all people, not just the magazine … are finally starting to realize that women over 50 are H-O-T. Watch out young cubs; urban cougars are on the prowl! So, for those of you young pups out there looking to score some grandma action, here are 5 tips:

1. Be there for her when she screams, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.” Women of all ages love Knights in Shining Amour who will rescue them in their time of need.

2. Get ready to roll with discounts. If you’re used to paying for dinner, drinks *and* the movie, I have three words for you, young buck: Senior. Citizens. Discount.

3. Kick back and let your sugarmama woo you. With the retirement checks rolling in, you could be set to become the next Anna Nicole Smith — of course, that is, *without* the tragic death and the “Who’s My Babydaddy?” drama.

4. Buy plenty of condoms. Don’t be fooled. Sure, dating a GILF means that you can say goodbye to your ‘omg, what if she gets preggers?’ days. But, you still need to keep it safe. Older woman have high sex drives. And, who knows, your GILF could have a raging case of herpes. You don’t want that shit do you?

5. Be prepared to get schooled. Think you got game? That’s only because you’ve been playing around with spry little chicks. You’re gonna be running with the big dogs now. And, you’ll be waaay out of your league young cub. But, fret not. Just sit back. Relax. And, get ready to learn a few tricks of the trade that you never even knew existed.

Maaaaan, I wanna be a GILF when I grow up. How about you? Ladies, do you wanna be GILFs? Fellas, are you crushing on any of the GILFs in the image above?

Babeland Banner II


Related FBC posts.
Cougars and Cubs: Older Women, Younger Men
Urban Cougars and Their Young Boytoys

  45 Responses to “How to Seduce a GILF”

  1. Hahaha that’s hilarious! I think the search term is disturbing because it says ‘how to seduce YOUR grandma’ rather than A grandma. He’s obviously trying to get it on with this own flesh and blood, albeit two generations removed. That’s still rather wrong!

  2. blegh blegh belgh!!!!!!! I lost my appetite

  3. oh my. disturbing. i mean, how many times do you look at a granny and say, *hot, babe, hot*?

    then again, i wouldn’t call pam grier a granny (and she is hot). just proves my point though: google + fbc = always entertaining ;)

  4. is tina really still looking that good? when i’m 60, i’m definitely going to want:

    a) a younger man
    b) a good photoshop assistant, and
    c) yoga classes so that i can keep the hell up!

  5. Any woman who lives as long and continues to be as sexy and powerful as the women pictured should celebrate and consider themselves among a select few. Being a sexy siren is not a state reserved for those under 25.

  6. Darwin: EXACTLY!!! You caught that, too? “How to seduce *your* grandma” Very disturbing indeed.

    Papigiulio: Older woman, are sexy. :) I hope to be an older woman one day.

    Firefly: Maaaan, mark my words … GILFS are the new MILFS. Moms used to be considered totally unsexy, but they’re sexy now.

    HippieChyck: Yeah, Tina’s HOT! She was in the news recently because she was at some Armani something or another a bit ago; the pictures of her looked great. By the way … I want the same three things that you want. :)

    Bliss: I *completely* agree! :-)

    Donna: Yep. She’s a hottie, too!!!

  7. Susan S.: all that and a brain… yummy…
    Pam can throw the cuffs on me any time.

  8. Ooooh. So you’re into handcuffs??? :-) I have a spare pair if you ever want to borrow them.

  9. You know I love Depeche…

  10. Actually, no, I didn’t know that. ;)

  11. I’m 20 and I like a lot of older women. :-)
    Now, I just don’t know which welcome
    approaches from guys my age on that level.

  12. LOTS of older women are into younger men. :)

  13. how odd! I run a blog called Thirty Voices which also had this crop up in the dashboard.. “how to seduce your grandma”.

    very weird. Spam perhaps?

  14. Very weird indeed! :)

  15. I’ve showered with Pam Grier and Susan Sarandon at the same time.

    They just didn’t know about it.

  16. Oh, that was me… sorry about that.

  17. DSMachina & Greg: You’re both funny.

  18. I wonder if any of them are into 18 year olds? Lol

  19. They might be. :)

  20. I am not sure whether this showed on major national newspapers or not but recently, a grandma in my state seduction attempt on his grandson failed. LOL

  21. Hey, I’ve got a dog in this fight. I married my college sweetheart. I still ‘finding my way’, completely striking out with the opposite sex and junior college seemed like the next thing to do. At age 38, she was just off a divorce from a mean drunk, and went back to college to improve her job opportunities. We wound up in a study group together. She certainly was different. She made me want to grow up.

    I figured that she was too mature for the likes of me and didn’t think she would be interested, but I couldn’t help but try to impress her. Since I didn’t have family in the area, she invited me to Thanksgiving dinner. Her boyfriend was there, too. I tried not to take it too hard. That’s OK. Sometime between Thanksgiving and the end of the semester, she broke up with him. When she told me that, I asked her out. On our first date, she took me home with her. We, got engaged (one week later), married (four months later) and became grand parents (7 months later). So, I guess technically, she was a MILF when I found her, but I knew she would be a GILF when I married her.

    I’ts been 24 years now, and in 3 months, she will be a GGILF. And she is still sweet, lovable, exciting and we still have a fabulous time in bed. The important thing for all you MILF/GILF hunters to remember is to find out WTF it is that SHE first saw in YOU — and KEEP IT COMING. Your purpose in her life to keep HER young. Just get over yourself — it’s not all about you. And don’t worry – you will be taken care of too.

  22. That’s hilarious/foul, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.” hahaha :D

    What GILFs have going for them is if they’re still kickin’ it around that age, it’s because they have style, class, intelligence and personality.

    Air-Headed rap video chicks with the boomin’ systems get played out after a while, when they all have the same thing to say… which is “DUH!”

    At some point, you want a woman that might POSSIBLY, *MAYYYYBE* beat you in chess…..

    or even “Connect Four” for that matter! :D

  23. Tim M: You rock!!! :)

    Bill: How did you know I play chess? AND Connect Four.

  24. well, why not seduce a GILF from Hollywood, and grab her money, now that would be pro

  25. Now, there’s a “Get Rich Quick” plan for the guys out there! :)

  26. Hey… ok.. I admit, I’m a GILF, if that’s what you choose to call us. I’m not exceptionally rich, but I do ok. I’m 55 and have a guy that’s 18.

    He started persuing me over a year and a half ago. I never paid much mind or attention to him until recently (about six months ago). When I finally turned my eye his way, we hit it off like a rocket! Now, we’re gettin’ married in 3 weeks. Believe it or not, we have tons of things in common (a lot more than you would ever think). But we have enough in difference that it makes our relationship lovingly challenging and quite steamy. Bucking the system of social taboo is what we have done. We are unique and we love it!

    Bottomline? His persistence paid off. He loves me, I love him and that’s all there is to it. You can’t split soulmates, no matter how hard you try. Age isn’t a factor when love is the equalizer.

  27. Now if only Twanna felt the same way about me… lol.
    I’m kidding.. not really.

  28. [...] one problem Palin faces that Biden never will: She’s hot. A G.I.L.F., if you [...]

  29. Susan sarandon is awesome.. she always gives me a hard-on… eventhough we have 40 yrs age b/w us

  30. i have been sick a long time, and am getting well. Suddenly I am old. All this time, just in bed waiting. I feel like Rip Van Winkle. It is hard to face all thelost time because I didn't get to live during that period. seven years. I was 39, now I am 46. I feel like a hag, although I look semi-ok. I am slowly returning to the gym, I used to compete. I now have to get a face llift soon though, because it upsets me all the time. I was very sick. Who the hell do I date at this age? I am artistic and still design clothes. I am a total rebel about everything, and am political. I just feel weird. Depressed. I guess a few guys at the gym have seemed interested but I thought they were too young and I kinda went into some weird sexless motherly routine because I was uncomfortable with it. On top of that, I can tell some men are uncomfortable around me because I still dress young and lift hard and have long hair but I am old. They don't know how to act and neither do I .
    It is hard trying to be authentic when you're uncomfortable with just about everything. And I don't want to go on and on about my illness but that's been my life for so long.
    I am returning to competitive body-building in the next two years. I am so out of shape from being bed-ridden it will take that long. Do men like muscular women? Muscular older women? That is how I like to be, quite muscular. I gain it easily, always have done. God, I am rambling. blah blah. weell, put out some thoughts, peeps.

    • I hope you have recovered your health. We are now in 2011. Let me know how you are doing with your weight lifting . I  need to be rebuilt from just decent shape to excellent . Maybe we can compare notes . Mike

  31. ok i was looking at the cilf and the guy that made it needs to get laid.LOL:)

    but to me cilf means cowboys id like to f*ck ;) ya baby

    like i would so do Kenny Chesney oh ya i wold so like to f*ck him

  32. [...] I’ve written about older women and younger men, feel free to peruse any of the following: How to Seduce a GILF, Cougars and Cubs: Older Women, Younger Men, Urban Cougars and Their Young Boytoys, Top 10: Movies [...]

  33. @ Tim… she really lucked out when she scored you! Keep up the good work w/your GGILF. *wink*

    Pamela, here we go again with the time old age saying, ” Beauty is in the eye’s of the beholder/beauty is only skin deep/beauty comes from within” and so forth. Your self-confidence and love of yourself should not come from your outer appearance, but from within the mind, heart and soul that allow it live and breath everyday of your life. Stop focusing on all the negatives and when time allows you to write the positives on a paper, be it 3 things, or 30. This next step might sound deep, but the shit can help, but read each one daily to yourself and hone in on it until you can agree w/your ego that this is true about you. I can give you all this advice and from a stranger at this, but only you can set yourself free. Let the past go in respect to the body you had before and the years which have went by. You’re alive now… this is what counts. Now you’re capable of getting up and moving on to Pam’s next chapter in life.

    Remember, the past is like a foreign country; we do things differently here. *wink* Good wishes for you.

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    Hehe )) man i`ve laughed a lot from post… BUT commets are just awesome! My opinion is that it is a bit to much perversion in this dating niche.

  35. well i’m 18 years old and i’m actually only attracted to older women like 40 or 50. If you live in oklahoma and might be interested let me know , it’s pretty hard to find the right lady that is interested in younger guys :(

  36. I Recently had sex with my 5th grade teacher. She is way older than me. She rocked me all night long

  37. datin sites…


  38. Fantastic information in your post, I saw a report on tv yesterday about this same thing and since I am going to be married next month and the timing couldn’t have been better! thanks for the ideas!, I have bookmarked, thanks Emmett Poulter

  39. sorry, I don’t get it

    • Wow, its amazing to think all those women are those ages. Guess it doesn’t matter if you are a cougar, milf, panther or gilf – you are all very sexy!

  40. [...] has had plastic surgery. She didn’t get all those people to watch her SNL episode by being a GILF. She looks a hell of a lot better than most 88-year-olds, granted, but there is no disguising that [...]

  41. those women on the pic really look good despite their age, and I like the first tip about the Knight :)

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