Comments on: Single Chicks vs. The Babymamas http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/ Twanna is a sex, dating and relationships writer in New York City. She's funky. She has brown skin. And, she's a chick. FUNKYBROWNCHICK® chronicles her life. Thu, 24 May 2012 13:42:17 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: What a JOKE http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/comment-page-1/#comment-272454 What a JOKE Sun, 26 Dec 2010 09:12:57 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/#comment-272454 Really, having children is selfish. There're no two ways about it. What selfless reason is there to have a child? YOU want to carry on your genes. YOU want a mini me to worship you. YOU want a BABY OMG A BABY!! YOU YOU YOU. It's always what YOU want. The baby doesn't exist, it has no say in the matter. Yep, from what anyone can see, it's ALL YOU doing the decision making here, and YOU are doing what YOU want. For all the reasons childfree people are NOT having babies are for reasons that TAKE THE BABY INTO ACCOUNT. Yes, they're actually thinking about the baby and putting that baby first. They're logically thinking out why they should NOT have a baby. What the BABY will go through, not what THEY will go through. Sure there're lots who don't want to have a baby because they don't LIKE babies. What, that's selfish? It'd be selfish if they didn't want babies and decided to have them because YOU tell them to! YOU guilt trip people into having babies they would otherwise be thankful without. Parents will ALWAYS be more selfish than childfree people, because they put their own selfish desires of WANTING and not NEEDING a baby to fill some psychological void ahead of the well being of a child. Yes, your child will suffer. Your child will probably be bullied. Your child will probably need therapy. Your child may get raped, or murdered or commit suicide. But that's ok, because YOU WANT A BABY. Really, having children is selfish. There’re no two ways about it. What selfless reason is there to have a child? YOU want to carry on your genes. YOU want a mini me to worship you. YOU want a BABY OMG A BABY!! YOU YOU YOU. It’s always what YOU want. The baby doesn’t exist, it has no say in the matter. Yep, from what anyone can see, it’s ALL YOU doing the decision making here, and YOU are doing what YOU want.
For all the reasons childfree people are NOT having babies are for reasons that TAKE THE BABY INTO ACCOUNT. Yes, they’re actually thinking about the baby and putting that baby first. They’re logically thinking out why they should NOT have a baby. What the BABY will go through, not what THEY will go through. Sure there’re lots who don’t want to have a baby because they don’t LIKE babies. What, that’s selfish? It’d be selfish if they didn’t want babies and decided to have them because YOU tell them to! YOU guilt trip people into having babies they would otherwise be thankful without.
Parents will ALWAYS be more selfish than childfree people, because they put their own selfish desires of WANTING and not NEEDING a baby to fill some psychological void ahead of the well being of a child. Yes, your child will suffer. Your child will probably be bullied. Your child will probably need therapy. Your child may get raped, or murdered or commit suicide. But that’s ok, because YOU WANT A BABY.

]]> By: Aussie Chick http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/comment-page-1/#comment-269768 Aussie Chick Thu, 16 Dec 2010 07:18:48 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/#comment-269768 " I respect a womans decision to not have children. " and " I am not judging" As an Aussie, I call "Pig's @rse you don't judge."  Oh, the translation is: I don't believe you. You "don't judge" and "you respect" but then you launch into stereotypes of childless women as oversexed feckless hedonists. Judgmental much? And so WHAT business is it of yours if childless women are having sex and not making babies anyway? How does that disaffect your existance? You have a baby and are "full of joy" and get "unconditional love" now. " I could have very well gone to the clinic and paid a couple of dollars to have this “inconvieniece” taken care of.   But how does that even sound, sad right, happens everyday so single women can continue to party and pretend like they are happy... clubbing and parting, money and physically stature are all temporary and you can lose at anytime...." So what you are saying is that having sex should be punished with a unwanted  pregnancy? Oh yes, here's the line "...and sex equals babies. " If you really had an issue with people who are childless why are you not berating nuns and priests? Oh silly me! That's right! Because it is the people who bump uglies and dodge the baby bullet are the ones who get your goat. "The reality is until you have a child of your own, you have no idea what a joy it is.  " I suspect the only person you are trying to convince of that one is yourself. " I really don’t feel like I have missed out on anything. " Liar liar pants on fire. I put it to you that you are seething with jealousy because  it is YOU who is missing the single, childless life and that once-pert figure that you once enjoyed. You chose to have a baby. Bed.Made. Lie. Stop being such a smug martyr and get over yourself. “ I respect a womans decision to not have children. ” and ” I am not judging”
As an Aussie, I call “Pig’s @rse you don’t judge.”  Oh, the translation is: I don’t believe you.
You “don’t judge” and “you respect” but then you launch into stereotypes of childless women as oversexed feckless hedonists. Judgmental much?
And so WHAT business is it of yours if childless women are having sex and not making babies anyway? How does that disaffect your existance? You have a baby and are “full of joy” and get “unconditional love” now.
” I could have very well gone to the clinic and paid a couple of dollars to have this “inconvieniece” taken care of.   But how does that even sound, sad right, happens everyday so single women can continue to party and pretend like they are happy… clubbing and parting, money and physically stature are all temporary and you can lose at anytime….”
So what you are saying is that having sex should be punished with a unwanted  pregnancy? Oh yes, here’s the line “…and sex equals babies. ”
If you really had an issue with people who are childless why are you not berating nuns and priests? Oh silly me! That’s right! Because it is the people who bump uglies and dodge the baby bullet are the ones who get your goat.
“The reality is until you have a child of your own, you have no idea what a joy it is.  ”
I suspect the only person you are trying to convince of that one is yourself.
” I really don’t feel like I have missed out on anything. ”
Liar liar pants on fire. I put it to you that you are seething with jealousy because  it is YOU who is missing the single, childless life and that once-pert figure that you once enjoyed. You chose to have a baby. Bed.Made. Lie. Stop being such a smug martyr and get over yourself.

]]> By: Shocked http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/comment-page-1/#comment-253212 Shocked Sun, 10 Oct 2010 07:16:36 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/#comment-253212 I know that single women with out kids and a man are often messed with by family and friends who have that lifestyle.  The reality is until you have a child of your own, you have no idea what a joy it is.  I am sure all of you women have sex and sex equals babies.  A lot of women dont have children not because they have not concieved, but because they have aborted their own child.  Then they put themselves on a pedestal and call themselves better?  I respect a womans decision to not have children.  I too did not want children, and often wondered why my sister had so many.  But once my son was born, my heart was his.  I adore this child, and I really don't feel like I have missed out on anything.  I could have very well gone to the clinic and paid a couple of dollars to have this "inconvieniece" taken care of.   But how does that even sound, sad right, happens everyday so single women can continue to party and pretend like they are happy.  I say dont bash every single parent.  All of us did not concieve children by way of one night stands and lay up to collect checks.  Very successful women are single parents i.e. Halle Berry and lots of celebrities.  The saddest part of all is that there are men online posting personal ads for someone to have their baby.  They are dating single women who are empowered, career oriented, not ready, whatever the case maybe, and refuse to do so.  So I am not judging "all the single ladies" but clubbing and parting, money and physically stature are all temporary and you can lose at anytime.  Love from a child is unconditional.   Oh PS-the gym, the babysitter, and online college...fixes all those fears....Just food for thought from the "baby-mommas" POV...all love ladies.. I know that single women with out kids and a man are often messed with by family and friends who have that lifestyle.  The reality is until you have a child of your own, you have no idea what a joy it is.  I am sure all of you women have sex and sex equals babies.  A lot of women dont have children not because they have not concieved, but because they have aborted their own child.  Then they put themselves on a pedestal and call themselves better?  I respect a womans decision to not have children.  I too did not want children, and often wondered why my sister had so many.  But once my son was born, my heart was his.  I adore this child, and I really don’t feel like I have missed out on anything.  I could have very well gone to the clinic and paid a couple of dollars to have this “inconvieniece” taken care of.   But how does that even sound, sad right, happens everyday so single women can continue to party and pretend like they are happy.  I say dont bash every single parent.  All of us did not concieve children by way of one night stands and lay up to collect checks.  Very successful women are single parents i.e. Halle Berry and lots of celebrities.  The saddest part of all is that there are men online posting personal ads for someone to have their baby.  They are dating single women who are empowered, career oriented, not ready, whatever the case maybe, and refuse to do so.  So I am not judging “all the single ladies” but clubbing and parting, money and physically stature are all temporary and you can lose at anytime.  Love from a child is unconditional.   Oh PS-the gym, the babysitter, and online college…fixes all those fears….Just food for thought from the “baby-mommas” POV…all love ladies..

]]> By: ebwriter http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/comment-page-1/#comment-191094 ebwriter Sat, 24 Apr 2010 02:27:25 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/#comment-191094 I hear you! I hear you!

]]> By: Sharon Lewis http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/comment-page-1/#comment-123662 Sharon Lewis Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:14:33 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/#comment-123662 I stumbled upon this site by way of googling "childfree". I am  a 47 yr old Black woman who is childfree. I don't hate kids, but I never really wanted any of my own. I have seen too many women,especially Black women raising kids by theirselves and having to work 2 jobs just to make ends meet. They all look so worn out and tired. They never have any time for themselves. I didn't want  that type of lifestyle for myself. It didn't seem like a lot of fun to me. No freedom to do the things that you want to do, always having to get a babysitter, buying school supplies, toys, etc. Also a lot of women get really fat after they had 2 or 3 kids. I did not want that for myself. I have been able to travel across the USA and the Caribbean, go to college, start a silk painting business, and do other things, which I probably could not have done if I had kids like everyone else. A lot of people tell me that I will be lonely by not having children. I know many older women with adult children who barely give them the time of day, let alone visit them. Just because a person is childfree does not mean that they will be lonely in old age. Everybody is not meant to be a parent and I refuse to do something just because society says that's the norm. I stumbled upon this site by way of googling “childfree”. I am  a 47 yr old Black woman who is childfree. I don’t hate kids, but I never really wanted any of my own. I have seen too many women,especially Black women raising kids by theirselves and having to work 2 jobs just to make ends meet. They all look so worn out and tired. They never have any time for themselves. I didn’t want  that type of lifestyle for myself. It didn’t seem like a lot of fun to me. No freedom to do the things that you want to do, always having to get a babysitter, buying school supplies, toys, etc. Also a lot of women get really fat after they had 2 or 3 kids. I did not want that for myself. I have been able to travel across the USA and the Caribbean, go to college, start a silk painting business, and do other things, which I probably could not have done if I had kids like everyone else. A lot of people tell me that I will be lonely by not having children. I know many older women with adult children who barely give them the time of day, let alone visit them. Just because a person is childfree does not mean that they will be lonely in old age. Everybody is not meant to be a parent and I refuse to do something just because society says that’s the norm.

]]> By: Stacerella http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/comment-page-1/#comment-112285 Stacerella Tue, 28 Jul 2009 01:06:05 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/#comment-112285 When babymamas say, "You should have children," I'm at the stage of life where I will answer in a very Samantha from SATC way, "And you should should STFU." I'm sick of it. It very much is a personal decision, whether you're single or married. And just because you marry doesn't mean you will automatically jump on the babymoma bandwagon. That's what so many of them fail to recognise and refuse to understand. We're not asking them to understand as much as to just accept, and while they're at it, STFU about it once and for all. When babymamas say, “You should have children,” I’m at the stage of life where I will answer in a very Samantha from SATC way, “And you should should STFU.” I’m sick of it. It very much is a personal decision, whether you’re single or married. And just because you marry doesn’t mean you will automatically jump on the babymoma bandwagon. That’s what so many of them fail to recognise and refuse to understand. We’re not asking them to understand as much as to just accept, and while they’re at it, STFU about it once and for all.

]]> By: Aenn http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/comment-page-1/#comment-77843 Aenn Mon, 29 Dec 2008 19:39:25 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/#comment-77843 That should have said 'can we address' not 'and we address'. That should have said ‘can we address’ not ‘and we address’.

]]> By: Aenn http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/comment-page-1/#comment-77842 Aenn Mon, 29 Dec 2008 19:38:05 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/#comment-77842 I've gotten a lot of comments from complete strangers about how I should have children, and how I'd just change my mind if I'd have one...I haven't changed my mind yet, and I think there's something desperate in trying to tell total strangers that they should adopt your lifestyle. It sort of suggests a need to justify your own decisions. Thankfully I don't get any of that from my family, just from random strangers. I'm with you on the plan. After we take care of everyone who nags us about children, and we address the people who let their children run wild on the bus or in the cafe in the expectation that we should all enjoy being around their spoiled brats? I’ve gotten a lot of comments from complete strangers about how I should have children, and how I’d just change my mind if I’d have one…I haven’t changed my mind yet, and I think there’s something desperate in trying to tell total strangers that they should adopt your lifestyle. It sort of suggests a need to justify your own decisions.

Thankfully I don’t get any of that from my family, just from random strangers.

I’m with you on the plan. After we take care of everyone who nags us about children, and we address the people who let their children run wild on the bus or in the cafe in the expectation that we should all enjoy being around their spoiled brats?

]]> By: Twanna A. Hines | FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/comment-page-1/#comment-68874 Twanna A. Hines | FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com Mon, 10 Nov 2008 17:10:40 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/#comment-68874 Ooooh, THANKS I'll check out those posts!!! :) Ooooh, THANKS I’ll check out those posts!!! :)

]]> By: Sista GP http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/comment-page-1/#comment-68656 Sista GP Sat, 08 Nov 2008 15:02:21 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/16/single-chicks-vs-the-babymommas/#comment-68656 I see no selfishness in not procreating. If you are not wanting, willing, or capable of taking responsibility of a child, doesn't seem right to have any. There are several issues that have been clouding my mind lately and had to blog about it. (Nov 6, Oct 25, and Oct 14) Didn't want to invade your comments with links. Thanks for the link here. I'LL BE BACK, lol. I see no selfishness in not procreating. If you are not wanting, willing, or capable of taking responsibility of a child, doesn’t seem right to have any. There are several issues that have been clouding my mind lately and had to blog about it. (Nov 6, Oct 25, and Oct 14) Didn’t want to invade your comments with links.
Thanks for the link here. I’LL BE BACK, lol.

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