Would You Date A Blogger?
May 24th, 2007 ·
“So, you go on a date. You blog about it. And, then the guy that you went on a date with goes to your blog and he actually reads what you wrote?” That’s D. Lock. He’s asking me these questions because he’s slightly amazed, slightly confused. A couple of days ago, he and I had one of the most interesting conversations ever about dating and blogging. (Sidenote: I’ve met D. Lock only recently; I love it when I make new friends!!) Anyway, so, as I was saying … the conversation with D. Lock turns to blogging and dating. I tell him about my dates with Simon and the Right-Winger Gunslinger. Two guys. Both know that I blog. Both know where to find the blog that you’re reading right now as well as the blog on Nerve. I assume that both guys read my blog, but I can’t be 100% sure. I haven’t flat out asked. Yet. But, hell, if I were dating a fellow blogger I know that *I* would definitely read their blog. Actually, now that I think about it …
“I know I’m going to sound like a total hypocrite saying this,” I tell D. Lock, “but … I wouldn’t date a blogger. Actually. Wait. Check that. I would date a blogger, just not one who writes about sex, dating and relationships. In other words, I wouldn’t date a male me.” It would be too weird. You know. Me writing about my impressions of them. Them writing about their impressions of me. Both of us (and our readers) reading both blogs. Waaaaay too meta. I’d date a blogger who *doesn’t* blog about their relationships. Or, on the flip side, if *I* didn’t blog about relationships, I’d date a blogger who did.
I know that the vast majority of you who read this blog never leave comments. So, I don’t really know what the blogger-to-nonblogger ratio is among you. But, for those of you who do comment, I know that most of you are fellow bloggers. (I read your blogs.) Hmm … If you blog, would you date a fellow blogger? If you don’t blog, would you ever enter the madness and date someone who does? And, if you did go on a date with a blogger, would you read what they wrote about you?
May 24th, 2007 ·
May 24th, 2007 | 
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Hi, I'm 
I think that’s a good rule to have. I don’t think I could date someone who made our personal life that public. Cameron occasionally writes on the music blog, but that’s it. And I only talk about him when he does something hilarious being that mine has a humor “intent”. Tee-hee.
So to answer your question, I would date a blogger with your thoughts in mind. As long as they didn’t blog about relationships which means they would put almost every aspect about us up for all to read. I’m an open book, but I do like to have some privacy.
Sure, why not? If someone wants to write about our relationship, what do I care? Is it really all that different from talking to your friends or family about it? Ok, maybe some more people will see it, but who cares?
As a matter of fact, I’d rather she write about it on a blog than talk about it with her friends and family. Considering that 99.9999999% of people who would read it on a blog have no idea who I am, what do I care? 100% of the people she’d be talking about me to know exactly who I am. I’d rather people I’ve never met know personal stuff about me than people I see everyday.
i’ve only been a date with one blogger, and the date was a disaster. luckily, he didn’t write about it. but that didn’t stop *me* writing about it, then emailing the text to all of my friends. fine - and also to him.
despite/as a result of this email, he and i have since become friends. but if he’d written about me in such excrutiating detail, I would have been mortified. luckily he thought i was funny. or something.
anyway, no. i most definitely would *not* want to date someone who was writing about me. first of all, i’m way too prone to the electronic stalking and i wouldn’t be able to stop myself from reading the posts. and second, i’m way too neurotic to be able to read the posts, laugh, and move on. i’d have to parse each line with each of my friends.
and if i was spending all of my time doing that, when would i have time to go on dates with other men?
I’d date a blogger, I just wouldn’t EVER want to know what their web-address was since i’d be tempting to read what they wrote(which means there is no chance I’d ever consequently date someone I met online in the blogging world). Of course, this point is moot since I’m madly in love with a non-blogger, and I plan to keep it that way. Well, he can blog if he wants to, but I don’t want to read it. Nope. And you know what else? I told him early on that I wrote on an online journal, but that it was my own private place and felt it was important that he respect me and not read it. EVER. So he hasn’t (at least I don’t think he has), and that fact suits me just fine.
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Ugh. I talk too damn much. Ha!
I would date a blogger if he doesn’t tell me that he blogs. Or if he does tell me about it, I find out that it is about comic books or his car obsession. Oh and I wouldn’t tell him about mine until I cleaned up some of the “older” stuff about guys before him….though I am never too descriptive, I don’t like to know about their exes and I don’t like them knowing about mine (something about my theory that you are different with everybody you date thing). So I guess the answer is yes with strings attached LOL :)
I would not date someone who had a blog about anything.
My wife wouldn’t approve.
I agree with you. I wouldn’t date someone who blogged about our dates… especially the sex.
Howard: That’s kind of my philosophy, and you could even throw the word “blogger” in your last sentence. “I’m a blogger, but I do like to have some privacy.” Because, honestly, I think the thing that people fear about dating a blogger is the loss of privacy. It’s like the assumption is, if you blog, *everything* about the relationships is up for grabs and/or posting.
Mindspin: Ooooh, VERY good point. You said, “As a matter of fact, I’d rather she write about it on a blog than talk about it with her friends and family. Considering that 99.9999999% of people who would read it on a blog have no idea who I am, what do I care?” Seriously. You’re brilliant.
HippieChyck: I’ve never been on a date with a blogger … at least I don’t think so. Hell, until recently, most of the guys that I went out with did know that I was a blogging and, incidentally, that they are characters on my blog. (All names have been changed to protect the guilty, of course.)
AmyD: Wow, so CL doesn’t read your blog???? I soooo don’t have that much self control. If I were dating someone and they had a blog, I would soooo read it. Personal, written diary? No. Publicly hosted weblog that has a following of readers? Hell yeah I wanna know what they’re saying about me. But, then again, I’m slightly more neurotic than your average bear.
Felicia: Exes don’t freak me out. I like to know about them, and I tell my dates about mine.
Baba Doodlius: Funny, and very witty. Even if you can’t comment on Nerve during working hours, I’m glad that you can comment here.
ChiGirl: Oh, but the sex is the best part.
The ‘problem’ with dating bloggers (or anyone with web site skills for that matter) is not when things go well, it’s when things go from salty to sour…
If you do things that cannot bear the light of day / your office, why not agree in writing (email) on continued anonymity. Depending on your paranoia follow the tit-for-tat principle, i.e. an even exchange of ‘blackmailworthy’ material via email or webcam. ;-)
I like the even exchange stuff. :)
Yes - dating a blogger opens up a LOT of complications. I know, because I’ve done it! I met my g/f through Blogger, and we’re happy since it lets you see a side you wouldn’t otherwise be able to catch in the real world. But being a blogger, you can’t air your thoughts like you used to. Ideally, you’d want them to know who you really are from what you wrote about the blog - but not have them read what you’re thinking about when it comes to the relationship. Because sometimes you just need a sounding board.
What an excellent question. I think it extends beyond blogs and bloggers. Let’s say two people who use MySpace. Or two people who frequent the same message board. Or use the same email list. Or, hell, who play online games together.
I mean, it’s just a bad idea. There’s too many ways for misunderstandings and jealousy and blah-blah to happen. I knew someone who met her current boyfriend through a message board they both frequented. And she once told me, “If you can’t set aside the online shit [e.g. jealousy and misunderstanding from seeing him talk to other people, for example], then online dating is not for you. Because it *will* drive you crazy.” And she was absolutely right.
We’re probably the first generation that is transitioning from forming close bonds via “real life” to including “online buddies” in that mix. It’s not an issue for the generation before. For the generation after us, supplementing real life with online is just a way of life.
We’re the Lost Generation, and just muddling our way through it all sometimes.
Dating Dummy: Yeah, good point about the sounding board. Now that the guys that I date actually read my blog, I really miss being able to talk about my feelings about my dates like I used to.
Andy: Hey, did you check out New York magazine’s article about the blogging generation? It was really good.
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