Comments on: The Line Between Public and Private http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/ Twanna is a sex, dating and relationships writer in New York City. She's funky. She has brown skin. And, she's a chick. FUNKYBROWNCHICK® chronicles her life. Sun, 12 Feb 2012 22:56:26 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: FUNKY BROWN CHICK http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/comment-page-1/#comment-15568 FUNKY BROWN CHICK Tue, 05 Jun 2007 03:21:29 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/#comment-15568 So far, so good. So far, so good.

]]> By: ErrorBoy http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/comment-page-1/#comment-15287 ErrorBoy Sat, 02 Jun 2007 11:27:00 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/#comment-15287 I think that size (of the audience) does matter. More people -> more chances to link "John Doe" to his real identity & 'features' without his consent. We've all seen what happens when relationships have unhappy endings. Now tell me, would you feel better if (s)he, in a fit of rage, tells 5 mates what an a$$ you are/biotch she is, or do you prefer to be 'outed' on-line, indexed by google and saved for posterity with instant access... Too many people forget: THIS SHIT DOESN'T GO AWAY! I think that size (of the audience) does matter. More people -> more chances to link “John Doe” to his real identity & ‘features’ without his consent.

We’ve all seen what happens when relationships have unhappy endings. Now tell me, would you feel better if (s)he, in a fit of rage, tells 5 mates what an a$$ you are/biotch she is, or do you prefer to be ‘outed’ on-line, indexed by google and saved for posterity with instant access…

Too many people forget: THIS SHIT DOESN’T GO AWAY!

]]> By: FUNKY BROWN CHICK http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/comment-page-1/#comment-15151 FUNKY BROWN CHICK Fri, 01 Jun 2007 12:53:24 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/#comment-15151 <b>Mindspin</b>: I even gave you a shout out at <a target="_blank" href="http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/BlogALog.aspx?blogId=138" rel="nofollow">Nerve</a>, too. And, no, I don't think you're alone in the way that you see this. <b>kbarrett</b>: Good point. But, if that's what bothers the guys that I date, they could always simply stop reading my blogs. <b>HippieChyck</b>: Yeah, I like kbarrett's suggestion, too. If I were in a more serious / long-term relationship, I would probably get a "thumbs up" from the guy before anything went public. <b>Roxy</b>: That's wonderful that your guy knows that you blog! Mindspin: I even gave you a shout out at Nerve, too. And, no, I don’t think you’re alone in the way that you see this.

kbarrett: Good point. But, if that’s what bothers the guys that I date, they could always simply stop reading my blogs.

HippieChyck: Yeah, I like kbarrett’s suggestion, too. If I were in a more serious / long-term relationship, I would probably get a “thumbs up” from the guy before anything went public.

Roxy: That’s wonderful that your guy knows that you blog!

]]> By: Roxy http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/comment-page-1/#comment-15088 Roxy Fri, 01 Jun 2007 00:56:20 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/#comment-15088 The guy I'm dating knows I blog about him. He doesn't read my blog. He doesn't want to even acknowledge it exists. I have been blogging for less than a year, but I often wonder if a man from my past will stumble upon a post about him. The guy I’m dating knows I blog about him. He doesn’t read my blog. He doesn’t want to even acknowledge it exists.

I have been blogging for less than a year, but I often wonder if a man from my past will stumble upon a post about him.

]]> By: HippieChyck http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/comment-page-1/#comment-15084 HippieChyck Fri, 01 Jun 2007 00:23:06 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/#comment-15084 i'm thinking kbarrett is on to something. like, giving the person a heads up has something to do with showing respect for their feelings...i'm not sure how exactly, but somehow it's like you acknowledge that they have feelings and also you maybe indicate that you think the date was special or meaningful enough to keep it close/not anecdotalise it as though the guy's already a cartoon character served up for strangers' entertainment. but that's pretty muddy. in summary, i bet that if you gave a heads up, the guy would be okay about it. like you're letting him in on the secret first. tricky. i’m thinking kbarrett is on to something. like, giving the person a heads up has something to do with showing respect for their feelings…i’m not sure how exactly, but somehow it’s like you acknowledge that they have feelings and also you maybe indicate that you think the date was special or meaningful enough to keep it close/not anecdotalise it as though the guy’s already a cartoon character served up for strangers’ entertainment. but that’s pretty muddy. in summary, i bet that if you gave a heads up, the guy would be okay about it. like you’re letting him in on the secret first. tricky.

]]> By: kbarrett http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/comment-page-1/#comment-15052 kbarrett Thu, 31 May 2007 18:34:52 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/#comment-15052 Is it maybe more that John Doe is front row center to your blog and can read about your fantasy (and knows it's about him) whereas he isn't actually in the room when you are talking to your girlfriends.. (?) I think the dater as blogger situation works better for the nonblogging partner in the relationship if they know everything that's going to go into the blog before it goes there. Because, as Mindspin points out, who cares if 100,000,000 strangers know your shortcomings As Long As you know about them before those 100,000,000 strangers find out. Maybe John Doe wouldn't mind the "fantasy" post as long as he heard about it first. I mean, imagine the weirdness of having a friend come up to you and say "Dude, that girl you are dating? She just posted a fantasy about you on her blog. Did you know she was going to do that?" And your answer is... "uh, no." Is it maybe more that John Doe is front row center to your blog and can read about your fantasy (and knows it’s about him) whereas he isn’t actually in the room when you are talking to your girlfriends.. (?) I think the dater as blogger situation works better for the nonblogging partner in the relationship if they know everything that’s going to go into the blog before it goes there.

Because, as Mindspin points out, who cares if 100,000,000 strangers know your shortcomings As Long As you know about them before those 100,000,000 strangers find out.

Maybe John Doe wouldn’t mind the “fantasy” post as long as he heard about it first. I mean, imagine the weirdness of having a friend come up to you and say “Dude, that girl you are dating? She just posted a fantasy about you on her blog. Did you know she was going to do that?” And your answer is… “uh, no.”

]]> By: Mindspin http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/comment-page-1/#comment-15046 Mindspin Thu, 31 May 2007 17:33:00 +0000 http://funkybrownchick.com/2007/05/31/the-line-between-public-and-private/#comment-15046 Wow, a whole post about my comment? I'm honored. But seriously, the world is a messed up place. I guess talking to your friends about "John Doe" and his "junk" is considered more private because you're telling it to less people? That really doesn't make sense. To me, talking about him on your blog is more private because you're only calling him "John Doe" (or some other catchy name you've come up with for him) as opposed to his real name, whatever that may be, which you are no doubt using with your friends. So now, your readers (and no offense, but I'm sure you have more blog readers than friends you talk to about this kinda stuff) know about "John Doe" and his shortcomings. Big deal, I'd rather 100,000,000 people who only know me by the catchy nickname you've given me know about my shortcomings than 10 people who know me by name (and/or sight). I know I can't be alone on this... Wow, a whole post about my comment? I’m honored.

But seriously, the world is a messed up place. I guess talking to your friends about “John Doe” and his “junk” is considered more private because you’re telling it to less people? That really doesn’t make sense. To me, talking about him on your blog is more private because you’re only calling him “John Doe” (or some other catchy name you’ve come up with for him) as opposed to his real name, whatever that may be, which you are no doubt using with your friends. So now, your readers (and no offense, but I’m sure you have more blog readers than friends you talk to about this kinda stuff) know about “John Doe” and his shortcomings. Big deal, I’d rather 100,000,000 people who only know me by the catchy nickname you’ve given me know about my shortcomings than 10 people who know me by name (and/or sight).

I know I can’t be alone on this…

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