Urban Cougars and Their Young Boytoys
If you missed the series premiere of NBC’s Age of Love a couple of days ago, here’s the scoop: basically, it’s a new dating show starring sexy 30-something Aussie tennis guru, Mark Philippoussis. The twist? A bunch of young 20-something “kittens” battle older 40-something “cougars” to win the guy. (Yes, the show’s themes are every bit as predictable as you’d imagine they would be.) Although I’ve not been convinced that it’s worth watching an entire season of Age of Love, the show does make me think about my own dating life.
Maybe it’s because one of the guys who contacted me via Nerve Personals says he considered sending me an email referencing my “affinity for sex scenes featuring ‘older women’ with ‘younger men’”. Maybe it’s because I enjoy the movie Notes on a Scandal — a fictitious story about a cougar teacher who carnally “schools” one of her male cub students — just a tad too much. Or, of course, maybe it’s because I’m an obsessive person who spends way too much time pondering the whats, whys, and whos of the dating world. In any case, I notice that I’ve been very attracted to younger men lately.
Hmmm … obviously, I’m not alone on this one. In recent years — from CBS to ABC, from Oprah to MSNBC and iVillage — everyone has been talking about younger men / older women pairings. Good Housekeeping Magazine featured a piece on the trend. And, over at Nerve, writers like Douglas Rushkoff proclaim “in 2033, age 70 is the new 30″. (Psst! Today on Nerve, I wrote about a younger man who recently approached me.) Older urban cougars. Younger men cubs. Hey, with the photo above, I know that I’m in good company. How about you? Whether you’re male or female, tell me: Do you tend to date older or younger or exactly within your age range?
June 20th, 2007 at 3:14 am
I think right now, because I’m 23/24, I prefer someone my own age or a tad older. I wouldn’t cross out the possibility of a 21/22 y/o maybe but something like an 18 y/old seems a bit too young and would do my head in. I’m sure the older I get the higher this cutoff point would be though?
June 20th, 2007 at 11:16 am
I’m really glad you posted this. One of my friends who lives in San Francisco shared with me this website - http://urbancougar.com/ - that my friends and I found pretty interesting.
I’m only 21 so right now I’m sticking with my age and older, any younger and I may be getting into high school territory. As I get older that’ll probably change though.
June 20th, 2007 at 11:59 am
Well, I used to say there is no way I would date a guy younger than me (I am 35) but lately only guys in their late 20’s have been hitting on me. I am seriously thinking of refining my age thing just because I don’t seem to attract guys my age (I think they are all looking for gals in their 20’s). Mid 30’s isn’t the best time to date from all accounts if you are a woman (from what I heard). I personally don’t think it is better or worse, just different.
Oh and WE did an episode of Secret Lives of Women based on Cougars that was interesting. I find myself addicted to that show. It is interesting to learn about all the different types of “lives” that I don’t belong too: sex phone operators, lipstick lesbians, manchausin moms, ect.
June 20th, 2007 at 11:59 am
I’m dating a gal about 5 years older than me. Don’t tell her I told you! ;)
June 20th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
“She’s 42, He’s 39″ does not really count. They’re both in the same category of “40-ish”, even if the guy who’s not quite 40 would HATE to hear of himself be put in any catoegory with the number “40″ in it. Besides, as you get older anybody within about 5 years of your age can be considered “about your age”. (This does NOT apply to people in their early 20’s, since dating somebody 5 years younger than you when you’re that age can potentially put you in jail.
June 20th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
WELCOME HOME SWEETIE,
HOPE YOU HAD A BLAST IN BARBADOS!!
June 20th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
Well, I don’t know about dating… But I’m 35 and recently had a fling with a 26 year old that was fantastic. It’s a good age combination for sex, I think. I can’t make generalizations for all younger men/older women combinations but he had stamina and a refreshingly unjaded view of life plus a marked lack of baggage. From his point of view, I had some tricks he hadn’t seen yet plus I know who I am and what I want and I’m comfortable with myself. So we were really compatible sexually. But I wouldn’t date him. He’s still too young, life-wise. But for fun… oh honey, he was fun…!
June 20th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
well… I am 38 and guys my age are either hopelessly clinging to adolecense, or looking to date 21 year olds, or both. Guys in their 50s and 60s creep me out.
I’ve been having a fucking blast with my 24, 25 and 26 year olds though! i don’t take things seriously with them, and they treat me with the respect their older counterparts fail to.
June 20th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
My beau is 9 years my junior. I’m 40. He’s 31. He’s an old soul though. Much more mature than his peers.
I beleive that true love is too hard to find to place age constraints on it.
June 21st, 2007 at 12:52 am
i have one word,
sexyyoungthing
sexy and young being relative and thing being the only thing absolute.
i am drunk, btw.
June 21st, 2007 at 11:07 am
Darwin: I totally believe that too — the “age difference” stuff changes at different points in our lives. Like, when I was 21, I definitely wouldn’t date someone three years younger than I was. But, now, I’ve dated guys who were more than 3 years younger.
theblacksapphire: I’ve heard of that website. They have cougar “hunting tips” or something like that. I think it’s great!
Felicia: I think you’re on to something. 30-something boys date 20-something girls. And, more 20-something boys are dating 30-something women. I met this 20-something French guy at this party last night. He’s was like, “I like older women.” I was like, “But, of course. You’re French.” Ah, French boys. Oh la la! ;-)
Dating Dummy: I won’t tell her if you don’t! ;-)
Baba Doodlius: Yeah, I thought of taking that couple out. Not because of the tiny age disparity … Because of Josh Brolin supposed domestic violence arrest. Beating women = you’re an asshole. So, I was going to put Tim Robbins (48) and Susan Sarandon (60) in the collage instead of Josh & Diane. I *love* Tim Robbins!!! Any man who feels comfortable admitting that he thinks Harry Belafonte is “sexy” is a winner in my book!
tonitobandito: Awww, sweetpea, THANK YOU for the warm “welcome home” message!!! :-)
kbarrett: I *love* 20-something men. Less drama. Light, fun and, of course, very very energetic.
Amy: Sounds like you and Felicia are on the same page.
Angel: You’re like Halle and Gabriel!! :) And, I love what you said about: “[T]rue love is too hard to find to place age constraints on it.”"
melo: sexyyoungthing. I LOVE it. :-) Drunken blogging? Love it even more. ;-)
June 22nd, 2007 at 6:55 am
We have a saying in Holland: “You can learn it by riding a old bike” hehe. I have to admit tho, woman now in their 40ies look much better then 40 y.o 10 years ago. :)
June 22nd, 2007 at 7:16 am
It’s true. They say 40 is the new 30 and 30 is the new 20.
June 22nd, 2007 at 6:03 pm
Well and exact quote from that show on WE……there is always the 26 fits into 35 very well LOL :)
June 23rd, 2007 at 10:15 am
Oh, I **LOVE** that!!! :-)
July 12th, 2007 at 11:33 am
I’m almost 40 and I’ve been “seeing” younger guys since I was 30. My latest is a 23 year old. He most definitely has stamina and treats me with respect which I LOVE. I’ve noticed the difference between men my age and the younger guys. The ones my age can seem to hold up.
I only heard about the name for this a couple of days ago when my friend called me a cougar. I had to check it out and find out for myself. I think it’s awesome!
July 12th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
So do I! :-)
March 8th, 2009 at 7:11 am
I really like all the comments, I am dating a 21 years old and I am 33. I was very nervous about it, but know I see it not that bad “ha”.
June 5th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
I’m 49 dating/living with a 22 yr old. He pursued me till I gave in. We are having a blast, know its temporary, but we are enjoying each other a day at a time. He is the first younger man I’ve been with - prior to him my choice in men was 10 - 17 yrs older……