Men’s Facial Hair Grooming: What’s Best?
Welcome to Monday. Today, I thought it might be fun to foray into the fabulous realm of man grooming once again. Men, as I’m sure you already know, have the somewhat magical ability to sprout hair from the follicles present on the bottom halves of their faces. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with four examples:
The classic standard: A full beard. Perfectly coiffed, the male beard should be absent of extraneous hairs. Notice how the gentleman pictured here has a straight line of well-groomed hairs on the top? All hairs are in line, and none are longer that the others. No barren patches or peach fuzz. Good job, son.
One step away from the full beard is the goatee. Unlike the full beard, a goatee leaves much of the face exposed. The result is a very pleasant flesh-to-hair ratio.
Pornstasche, handlebar, or pencil-thin. The mustache is just like a goatee — sans soul patch and bottom hairs.
If the mustache is a goatee without soul patch and bottom hairs, the soul-patch is like a goatee sans mustache and top hairs.So there you have it. When it comes to men’s facial hair grooming, you know what the options are. But, which do you prefer? Ladies. Gentlemen. Please use the comment section to tell us your answer to this question: When it comes to facial hair — beard, goatee, mustache or soul patch? Which is best?
July 2nd, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Depends on the man, IMHO. I like C.L. with a little scruff, after a day or so of not shaving (SO SEXY), but I would rather he not sport any of the above for more than a weekend, since it detracts from his gorj face. But I once dated a man who had a very clean-cut full beard and mustache, and one day he showed up at my house fully-shaven and I burst into tears and was sick about it. He grew it back just for me.
Moral of the story? There’s just no tellin’ what a girl will like until she learns she doesn’t like it. ;o)
Oh, but the soul patch can go to hell. SICK…
July 2nd, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Beard, then soul patch, then goatee. Mustaches went out when Hall & Oates did. And I will hear no other opinion!! :)
July 2nd, 2007 at 1:32 pm
When I was 5 years old, my dad shaved off his mustache before coming into my room to tuck me in one night. As he leaned in to pick me up I stepped away from him and called out, “Mommy, WHO IS this man???” He looked at me in utter disbelief, swore he’d never shave it off again and didn’t until the day he died.
So. I like facial hair in general; but like my Da’s pencil, well kept and in moderation. I’m in El Lay, so there’s a lot of soul-patchin’ here. The Zen Master Phil Jackson made it crazy popular when took Shaq and Kobe to the NBA finals that first year. No lie, dogs and cats had ‘em too!
I don’t think I like a goatee – or at least I’ve never been attracted to a man sporting one – and the bushy pornstache is a no-no. My recent crazy ex had a FBWG (full beard well groomed), which I LOVED – very Ryan Gosling. He shaved it off one morning and revealed some serious chipmunk cheeks. I had this odd “say what?” look on my face (which he commented on) and the theme from “Alvin and the Chipmunks” ran through my head all day.
My current beau has a split-level SP (one directly under the lower lip w/a point to another patch on the chin), which is quite sexay.
July 2nd, 2007 at 3:37 pm
“Playoff Beard”. Especially during the finals. If you’re gonna go facial hairy, that’s the only way to go. Some of those guys look like Grizzly Adams! Awesome.
July 2nd, 2007 at 11:29 pm
I am not one for facial hair but my man has a closely cropped “neck beard” that I just LOVE to scratch.
July 3rd, 2007 at 7:55 am
I prefer clean shaven, but if I had to choose a style of facial hair, I’d go clean cut full beard. I agree that the mustache went out with Hall & Oates. Ha! Funny.
July 3rd, 2007 at 9:27 am
the ’stache may be out, but I still LOVE it. I had a huge crush on Tom Selleck as a kid and mustache have turned me on ever since. My husband agrees that they look very porn star, so he won’t grow one for me. But every once in a while during winter, he’ll do a goatee sans soul patch. That is good stuff, too!
July 3rd, 2007 at 11:37 am
AmyD: Yeah, I love the 5 o’clock shadow as long as the stubble isn’t too thick. I dated a guy who’s stubble was so think and strong that it literally gave me a rash every time he kissed me.
Howard: I used to like Hall & Oates when I was really really little!!!! :-)
Susan: I’m going to break with the majority and admit that I kind of like the soul patch. But, only on men under 50. I don’t like goatees AT ALL. I don’t think that I’ve ever heard of a split-level. So, it’s either an LA thing, or I’m waaay out of the know.
Baba Doodlius: I’m sooo not a fan of of the playoff beard. :)
GrizzBabe: … or neck beards. :) In general, I don’t like facial hair at all. If a guy absolutely *must* have it, then a very tiny little soul patch is okay because (of the choices listed in this post) it’s the smallest amount of hair.
Pegs: Okay, folks, I have to correct an inaccuracy here … The mustache DID NOT go out with Hall & Oates. It had a brief revival a few years ago in the form of the pornstache. Exhibit A: Casey Affleck. WHAT???? Come on … it looks like him!!! Okay, okay … kidding aside … Here he is. Ladies and gentleman, I give you the bestached Casey Affleck.
MamaChristy: Hmmm … Tommy was a big hairy hottie. He was on VH1’s “I Love the 70s” (or what it 80s??) recently.
July 6th, 2007 at 4:01 pm
a soul patch=yummy!!!! (my next fav would be the goatee)
July 7th, 2007 at 8:06 am
Couldn’t agree with you more. Soul patches are the most yummy.