Sometimes I Feel Insecure
I went out, yet again, last night. Why oh why is everyone plying me with alcohol this week? Seriously. It’s like everyone that I know got together and said, “Here, this is what we’ll do … We’ll all throw parties during the exact same week!” But, whatever, that is what it is. Besides, I don’t want to talk about alcohol or parties today, because I already told that story at Nerve. [See: Drinks with Mr Charming.] So, no talk about that stuff really, but I do want to talk about a boy. A boy named Matthew. I met him earlier this week. And, yesterday, my friend Alison and I met up with him and one of his friends.
A good time was had by all.
As the night went on, at some point during the evening, Matthew said “I’m gonna go check in with my Ally baby” as he walked away from me and towards Alison. My first thought? Her name is Alison. No one calls Alison “Ally” except for a few members of her family; and, she told him that earlier in the evening. My second thought? Why the fuck did he just call her his baby? He just met this woman. In any case, I’m absolutely *horrible* at hiding my feelings. I wear my thoughts directly on my face, and people can usually tell my mood just by looking at me. Matthew’s friend took notice. Matthew noticed. And, we all ended up having this long and crazy conversation about the way that men think vs. the way that women think. I felt like an insecure jackass, and I spent the better part of the morning beating myself up a little bit for being so petty.
I hate it when I do that.
July 27th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
C’mon, Funky baby, lighten up.
(I have a feeling I’m gonna catch some serious hell for that one. But it was totally worth it.)
July 27th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
I think you pretty much fucked this one… Too early to show the crazy card..
July 27th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
btw… I think you’re awesome!.. my favorite blog.
July 27th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Okay, that “crazy card” comment made me laugh!
At least he knows you care?
July 27th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Baba Doodlius: You’re not gonna catch hell for that at all babes. I’ve got nuthin but love for you. Besides, I didn’t care that he said the word “baby”, I cared (i.e. I freaked out and acted like a crazed jealous person) because he called *her* his baby. I’m not sure what it is, but I’ve been feeling a little stressed out about the dating stuff lately. I’ve gone on quite a few dates with quite a few different guys, and I’m starting to act weird about it all for some reason. Maybe I need to put on the breaks a bit. Not sure what’s going on with me, but it’s probably life stress. I’ve got a few different projects brewing at the moment, and I don’t know the outcome yet; I hope to be able to give updates soon.
Max: Your comment gives me a great idea for a new post: “Showing the Crazy Card: How Soon Is Too Soon?” By the way … Thanks; glad you like the blog.
MamaChristy: Yeah, I really hope I didn’t dork it with this guy. I actually thought he was really cool, and it would be really nice to see him again.
July 27th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
Funky Baby… face it… you’re the jealous type, but who cares… we’ll always have ‘Chocolate Rain’! (toob it if you don’t know what I’m talking about)
July 27th, 2007 at 11:31 pm
Hi! It’s been a while, huh??? I have been, hmm.. I’m not sure where, but I’m here now!
I was reading today’s post and I felt so identified, OMG, I’m so jealous with my guy that I’d go red just the same way!
I’ll promise to check in more often! XOXOX
July 28th, 2007 at 8:23 am
ErrorBoy: I wouldn’t say that I’m the jealous type, but I would say that I like to be the center of my object of desire’s attention. Work with me, folks. I’m the youngest child in my family. I’m used to attention. ;) By the way, OF COURSE I listened to Chocolate Rain. The tune (and the image of that guy taking breathing breaks) is *stuck* in my head.
Nat: I miss you when you’re away! :-)
July 28th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
Often it is a matter that women overthink a comment and men don’t think about what they are saying at all. Not the best plan for either gender, but the root of many of those types of misunderstandings.
July 29th, 2007 at 10:07 pm
VERY good observation.
July 31st, 2007 at 7:48 am
the ally-baby comment was a seriously schmoozy thing to say. i would also have had trouble not immediately putting the dude down as a douche. however, on just getting to know somebody, the usual route i take to vent my oh-god-i-hope-he-doesnt-actually-mean-that feelings is to gently tease the dude about his attempts at schmooze, and if he teases back, all is well.
July 31st, 2007 at 8:17 am
Yeah, if I we all hadn’t been drinking that night, I might have been able to do that. But, as it were, I was a little bit toasty and I overreacted. I think I might have dorked it. If I don’t hear from him again, I know I dorked it.
July 31st, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Actually, I’m going to be a detractor and say I don’t think you overreacted at all. thatsdelicious’ “schmoozy” comment was the most apt description. If I were in his shoes, and a woman I’d just met invited me to hang out and meet one of her friends, I would be friendly toward the friend, but my focus would be on her. and calling the friend “my baby” is a no-go.
I, too, have been told I wear my feelings on my face, even though I think I have a good poker face. (Apparently, I don’t.) I, too, am peevish about having the attention on me. (I’ve dated a few woman who sometime in the relationship admit attraction for one or more of my male friends. Huh?? Honesty is one thing, but is this type of honesty supposed to appeal to me?)
My thinking is that if we are romantic partners, then I need to be the center of her romantic attentions, just as she is mine. Note I said “romantic,” as in, not the center of her work/family/friends/etc. universe. Just romantic.
But if even that sounds vaguely Fatal Attraction, so be it.
And if he doesn’t contact you again, it’s his loss. Quite frankly, if he’s exhibiting caddish behavior now, you’re better off.
July 31st, 2007 at 3:59 pm
I couldn’t agree with you more!!! Seeee. You get. I get. So, why can’t this silly boy get it??? ;)