Twanna A. Hines @ FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com | sex. dating. relationships.

What’s Your Halloween Costume?

Happy Halloween!! I guess the cat’s out of the bag. Literally. I decided to be a cat, again, for Halloween this year. THANK YOU to everyone who gave me all of the great Halloween ideas. I’ll definitely consider them again for the next costume party that I attend. In case you were curious, no, the guy in the photo isn’t my date. He’s just a random guy from a random Halloween party that I attended last weekend. Judging from the party, this two most popular costumes for this year seemed to be …. drum roll, please … “Dick in a Box” for guys and Marie Antoinette (à la Girls Next Door) seemed to be the costume for women. So, tell me, did you / are you going to dress up this year? If so, what’s your costume?

October 31st, 2007 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [11] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Should I Have Paid for the Date?

If you read me over at Nerve magazine, you know that I recently had a date with a high school teacher because I wrote, “I have a date tonight. It’s with a sensitive high school teacher.” The short story? It was a good date, and he’s a very nice kisser. At the end of the date, I was still tingling all over. The long story? I’ll post that up on the blog sometime tonight or tomorrow morning. In the meantime, I wanna bring up one particular thing that happened though … Okay, so, we’re at dinner, right? Yada, yada, yada. It’s the end of the night, and we’re comfortably tucked away at a table in a cozy corner of the quaint little Italian restaurant that he picked out. It’s getting late, so we ask for the check. The waiter arrives tableside and places the black leather cushy booklet thing between us. (Does anyone know if that fucking thing has an actual name?) Anyway, so, the black leather cushy booklet thing is on the table and it has a little white slip of paper called a “bill” neatly placed inside of it. I’m not sure where this kid was raised but, where I come from (… the cornfields of Illinois …), it’s his job to pick that fucking thing up and pay for it. Cash. Check. Or, charge. I don’t care. Just take care of it. All of it. Oh, but no, he doesn’t do that. What does he do? He stands up quickly, screams “see ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya”, bolts for the door, and then darts through the restaurant like a crazed madman until he reaches the front door. Once he’s there, he does a little dance and then runs away only to never be seen again.

Okay, okay, so that’s not what happened. But, it was a good story, no? ;-)

So, what *did* happen after the waiter placed the black leather cushy booklet thing on our table? The sensitive high school teacher guy asked, “Should we ante up?” And, then, we split the bill. Yep. He paid for half and I paid for half. Call me an old fashion country bumpkin from the hills, but I don’t really think that I should pay a fucking dime on the first date. Or, for that matter, the second date either. And, quite frankly, even when I’ve offered to pay half on a first date (which is rare now that I’m in New York), I don’t think anyone has ever actually accepted my money. Am I crazy? In 2007, is it unreasonable for women to still expect men to pay for 100% of the first date? I could have flat out refused to pay, but that would have made me look like a total asshole, right?

When I wrote about this subject in a post titled Should Men Always Pay for the First Date? earlier this month, I never could have imagined that I’d find myself on the receiving end of 50% of a bill just a couple weeks later. So, here’s the question: Am I wrong to take a few points away from the guy because he made me pay? And, is there ANY acceptable way to convey a message that says “this is the first date, I’m not fucking paying” to a guy who offers to split the bill on a first date?

Technorati Tags: dating blog, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, single life, singles

October 30th, 2007 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [37] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Marc Jacobs & Men Who Get Naked for Charity

Yay! Naked men, naked men, naked men. Ah, Marc Jacobs. A couple of days ago, if you dropped by his men’s accessories store at 385 Bleecker Street, your sights could have tasted the sweet eyecandy that is the male nude. Naked men? Here in New York? You know I had to go. I’m not sure if I’ve blogged about this before, but I really have a thing for men without their clothes on. I’m not talking about hardcore erotic videos or anything like that. I mean, you know, tasteful images by Robert Mapplethorpe and other artists who share my deep appreciation for the delicious contours of men’s bodies. There’s nothing inherently tacky, shameful for even sexual about seeing the human body in its most natural state. Male nudity. Yes, give me more.

Not only are the boys in this video gorgeous, they’re also kind of guys who are willing to take the clothes off of their backs for charity. Literally. Proceeds from the Marc by Marc Jacobs t-shirt sales benefit the Interdisciplinary Melanoma Cooperative Group at NYU’s School of Medicine. Boys, boys, boys. Wanna see the video again and read the full story about my brush against brush with the male semi-nudes at the Marc Jacobs store? Check me out at Nerve magazine’s Blog-A-Log. And, here at funkybrownchick.com, it seems fitting to make the American designer Marc Jacobs and the men who got nude for charity today’s Manly Monday pick. Wanna know more about him? Read the feature article in the November 2007 issues of W Magazine. Wanna see pictures of him? Check out his Out magazine photo shoot. So, there you have it ladies and gentlemen. Marc Jacobs. And, by the way, hope you all like the mini video above!! I shot and edited it myself with my new camera / video thing. Oh, any, by the way, please feel free to use to comment section to tell us: Of the three guys in the video at the Marc by Marc Jacobs store, who do you think is the most beautiful / sexy?

Credits and thanks: Big drippy kisses to the Marc by Marc Jacobs store manager as well as the sexy men in the video for granting me permission to do the interview. Tongue-filled smooches also go out to Magnatune for the courtesy podsafe music. By the way … for the record and for what it’s worth … Marc by Marc Jacobs does have brown men on their t-shirts as well. They didn’t have any more in x-small; so, I got Owen’s shirt instead. (He even signed it for me; what a sweetie.)

October 29th, 2007 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [11] folks got down with the Funky Brown

The Pleasure Is All Mine

Man, I fucking love it when people invite me to parties. Rewind to yesterday evening. The Pleasure Salon is an amazing event that builds community among sex-positive activists and allows everyone to meet & mingle with each other. Despite what you might have heard, I did NOT crash the party. I was fucking invited!!! :) And, I’m glad that I was. The party is filled with such beautiful and delightful people. I’m having a blast. I meet Tess. From her blog, Urban Gypsy [NSFW]:

Five years ago, Tess was your average neurotic wife, mother and accountant, living in not so quiet desperation in the suburbs. Then an old crush came into her life sparking a never quite extinguished passion for love and life. Tess, newly awakened, decided to blog about her passions, BDSM and whatever else is the flavor of the day. Urban Gypsy documents one woman’s journey in search of passion, intensity and joy. ADULT CONTENT – ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS

Tess is great. She’s this amazingly cute, brown haired woman who can’t be much taller than 5′2″. Man, it’s always the little ones, isn’t it? They have the biggest secrets. Anyway, so, after Tess, I meet Selina from Sex in the City – The Real Version [NSFW]. She’s friendly, and she’s spectacularly dressed. After Selina, I meet Vivianne. Vivianne is one of the sexiest women on the face of the planet, and she runs a group blog that features news about sex and sexuality, erotica, health and culture: The Sex Carnival [NSFW]. We talk about her blog and her life. Grant Stoddard even comes up in conversation. (Long story. I bring him up — good stuff, of course.) It’s a small world, and everybody seems to know everybody. Speaking of knowing everybody, the only other person that I know at the party when I arrive is Rachel Kramer Bussel. She, Bro and I chat about girlie things. We part, and I end up talking to a few different really interesting guys. I spank one guy. And, a couple other guys and I tentatively plan to grab a brunch and a Baroque concert on Sunday. So, I’m laughing, smiling, and talking away at the party until I notice that it’s after 10pm. Fuck.

A guy who reads my blog, Michael (the guy who called me a fucking nerd) stuck me on the Desedo Films Autumn Apotheosis guest list at Fontana. So, I say bye to a few people at the Pleasure Salon, and then I make my way to the corner. I stick my hand in the air to hail a cab, and then I’m on my way. When I arrive at Fontana, I immediately look around for Michael but it’s hard to spot someone who you’ve never met. I ask a few people, “Are you one of the film people? Do you know where Michael is? Have you seen him?” A woman sitting at a table splattered with wrist bands says, “He’s either in this room or he’s back in the other room.” Great. So, now I know that Michael is somewhere inside the building. I ask two tall men if they know who Michael is. “Baby,” they answer, “we can be Michael if you want us to be.” Um, yeah. So, needless to say, I don’t find Michael. As I leave the party, I pull the sides of my burnt sienna orange sweater closer to me. “Fuck. It’s cold,” I say as I walk north on the Bowery.

I arrive home, and I prepare to go to bed. Long night. Before the two parties mentioned above, I’d started off the night by meeting up with a group of friends at a place called Avenue A. We gathered to support another friend, Andy Milonakis’ sister, because one of her creations — a painted mermaid on a canvas holding a real glass of plant life — is part of a group show called “Sea Creatures“. I couldn’t be more proud of Andy Milonakis’ sister. She’s an artist in her own right, and it was nice to support her work. And, so, now, it’s the weekend. I love it. I have two Halloween parties and two dates with two different boys. Should be fun. Details (and pictures) coming soon.

October 26th, 2007 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [6] folks got down with the Funky Brown

SWM Submissive Wants Me to Spank Him

A guy from Nerve Personals sent me an email to say: “From reading your blog, it seems you may be tougher to get into than an Ivy League school.” Yep, he’s a charmer. But, the interesting thing about this particular guy is this: this isn’t the first time that he wrote me. Several months ago, this same guy — a Nerve Personals dater / Blog-A-Log reader that I’ll call “Charles” — also sent me an email asking me if I’d spank him. Read all about it over at Nerve magazine today. What are you waiting for? Go there now.

October 24th, 2007 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [4] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Best Halloween Costume for a Single Woman?

“You can be the doctor, and I’ll be the sexy nurse. No? Okay, well, how about this: You dress up as the sexy flight attendant in tight pants, and I’ll be the pilot?” I can honestly say that I’ve never had that conversation with any of my ex lovers during the Halloween season. I’m not opposed to complementary costumes, per se; it’s just never happened before. Given that I’m flying solo this Halloween ( … as I did the year before and the year before that … ), I’d have to say that the complementary costume idea is out the window again. Although my little entourage of friends and I will probably go out partying together somewhere here in the city, we’re sure as hell not going to dress up in matching costumes. That would be too, you know, odd. Couples that do that are “cute”. I’m not sure that the same can be said for a pack of friends.

Halloween costume. Damn. The first of the Halloween festivities begin this weekend, and I have no idea what I’ll wear. In previous years, I was CatWoman, a cheerleader, a queen, and other marginally fun & sexy characters. Last year, I almost stole Mitch’s killer idea of dressing up as a kissing booth. This year, I’ve delayed the daunting task of thumbing through the piles of picked-over costumes. I’m considering dressing up as a French maid or something like that. Maybe I’ll plan to shop online this year. Yahoo News reminds us that “[e]verything from wanton witch to naughty nurse outfits can be found in costume shops across the country and on the Internet.” Thanks for the tip, Yahoo. Another tip? Apparently, pirates are big again this year — for men and women. Aye, what should Me wear for Halloween? I’m not sure. Any thoughts from the peanut gallery? If you’ve got a great sexy Halloween costume idea for a single woman flying solo, feel free to leave it in the comment section. (And, of course, if you’ve already picked out a great costume idea for yourself, tell us about it!)

October 23rd, 2007 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [16] folks got down with the Funky Brown

A Guy Walks Into the Wild, But Doesn’t Walk Out

Did you hear the one about the guy who gives his money to a charity that feeds people, walks into the wild, and then starves to death? Chris McCandless. He grew up in an upper-middle class environment in the suburbs of Washington, DC. After graduating from college, he donates his $24,000 trust fund to Oxfam, gets into his car, drives away, and doesn’t tell anyone where he’s going. For nearly two years, he’s gone. He changes his name to “Alex Supertramp” and hitchhikes through the US like a vagabond. Why? He wants to go to Alaska so that he can live off the land.

And, live there he does. For 113 days.

Chris McCandless’ body was found by moose hunters. He had walked into the wild without telling anyone exactly where he was going, with no formal outdoors training, and with no foolproof plan to provide food, shelter and clothing for himself. It appeared that he had starved to death out there in the wilderness. “McCandless was not something special,” says a ranger, Peter Christian, who worked in the park near where Chris McCandless died. Ranger Christian says that he’s used to young men coming to “America’s last frontier” without properly preparing themselves. He calls McCandless death “just stupid, tragic, and inconsiderate … If he had a good map he could have walked out of his predicament.”

McCandless‘ story brings the word hubris to mind. A Greek word, hubris is arrogance boosted by excessive pride. It’s exactly the kind of overconfidence that leads to a person’s downfall. If Chris McCandless was alive, two days before next Valentine’s day, he might have gathered with his friends, family, and loved ones as he filled his cheeks with air to blow out the candles on his 40th birthday cake. But, he’s not alive. Fifteen years ago, he died at the age of 24 somewhere near the Denali National Park in Alaska.

As tragic as Chris McCandeless story is, it’s also inspiring. (Hell, who doesn’t want to run away and completely escape from all of the world’s bullshit every now and then, right?) Posthumorously, McCandeless inspires writer Jon Krakauer to create a brilliantly-crafted article titled, “Death of an Innocent”. Krakauer developes the article into a book titled “Into the Wild”. Sean Penn (yep, that Sean Penn) turns the book into a screenplay for the movie that I saw last week. See how that works? It goes from Chris McCandless to Jon Krakauer to Sean Penn to the big screen and, here on funkybrownchick.com, it goes from me to you. Chris McCandless is today’s Manly Monday pick. Feel free to use the comment section to share your thoughts on Chris McCandless’ decision to chuck it all and live in the wilderness: Sad and stupid? Or, sad and inspiring?

Links and credits: Excerpted quotes from Ranger Peter Christian are from this document available at George Mason University. Image of Christopher McCandeless and full text of Jon Krakauer’s original article are available at Outside magazine.

Technorati Tags: Alaska, Chris McCandless, Denali National Park, Into the Wild, Krakauer, Oxfam, Sean Penn

October 22nd, 2007 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [59] folks got down with the Funky Brown

Bill “Ass-Kicking” Maher: Appropriate or Overreacting?

October 20th, 2007 | Print This Post | link | Email This Post | [7] folks got down with the Funky Brown