From the monthly archives:

November 2007

My Family Found My Blog

It’s probably not a good idea to start an analogy with, “It’s kind of like, you know, if I were to pose nude for Playboy.” But, yes dear readers, that’s exactly how I tried to explain my blog to my family. As many of you know, I’ve been somewhat of an anonymous blogger — to the extent that’s even possible. When I started funkybrownchick.com (originally at funkybrownchick.blogspot.com), I didn’t tell anyone that I knew about it. At the time, I thought that blogging anonymously would allow me to blog more honestly. However, over the years, I’ve opened up a bit. I’ve told friends, a few family members, coworkers, and others about my blog. Recently, a woman from the church that I attended in Illinois when I was young told my sister about my blog. Why? I’m not quite sure. In any case, I’ve never been comfortable talking about my personal sex life with my family. So, yeah, it’s odd to know that she now knows about this blog. And, it was odder still to talk about why I tell strangers the details about my sex and dating life on a blog:

SIS: I don’t get it.

ME: It’s kind of like, you know, if I were to pose for Playboy. It’s okay if strangers see it, but it’s odd for people that I knew from church to see it. And, really, they would only know that I posed for Playboy if they were reading the magazine anyway. And, in that case, they should ask themselves why they’re reading Playboy instead of judging me for posing in the magazine. And, if they *didn’t* read Playboy but, after finding out that I posed naked in the November issue, they ran out to buy that magazine — that would kind of be like snooping. Wouldn’t it?

SIS: [silence]

ME: I’m not gonna pose for Playboy.

SIS: Oh, okay. Good.

Sheesh! Hope that’s the end of that conversation. In the meantime, over at Nerve, you can read more about my reactions to the fact that the folks from my hometown have discovered my blog at: How to Cheat, Get Caught, and Not Give a Damn.

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{ 20 folks got down with the Funky Brown }

I Can’t Pretend Everything’s Okay

It’s not every day that you receive a telephone call that brings your life to a screeching halt and then sends it crashing down into little pieces. However, such was the case last night. Now, before you all freak out and think that I just found out that I have cancer or some shit like that, I’ll say this: what happened is a much bigger deal to me than it is for anyone else.

If you’ve read this blog for any amount of time, you know that I’m originally from Illinois. Land of Lincoln. Birthplace of damn near every kernel of yellow corn ever eaten in this great land of ours. Ring, ring. So, last night, I receive a telephone call from someone that I cherish in Illinois. This dear person gives me a piece of disturbing / interesting / funny / weird news that I’ll post here on my blog either later today or early tomorrow. (I’d post it now, but I really want to take time to reflect on what happened before I write about it.) I’ll be back soon. In the meantime, don’t get your hopes up about it. I don’t wanna pull an Ellenesque “I can’t pretend everything’s okay” drama only to let you down with news that’s not really especially traumatic or exciting. You know what I’m talking about, right? You’ve seen this clip:

Ah, Ellen. The whole dog incident thing seemed trivial to me and probably damn near everyone else who saw her tears, but it obviously meant something much deeper to her. My news is kind of along those same lines. It’s something deeper that means a lot to me, but it will probably seem trivial to you. Still, I’ll share the news nonetheless. Soon. Stay tuned.

{ 4 folks got down with the Funky Brown }

Denzel Washington at 53: Still Sexy?

“All my life I’ve wanted to be a gangster.” Scarface. New Jack City. Godfather II. A Bronx Tale. When it comes to movies, most of my favorites are gangster flicks. Maybe it’s because these films tend to be more layered and interesting than films in other genres. Or, maybe it’s because the quotes are so memorable. (“Leave the gun, take the Canoli.”) Or, of course, maybe it’s just because I’m from Chicago — the city that loves gangsters so much that the politicians strive to be just like them. Whatever the case, I’m definitely a fan. So, it’s no surprise that I went to see American Ganger during its opening weekend.

From ifilm: “Based on the life of drug-kingpin-turned-informant, Frank Lucas, who grew up in segregated North Carolina where he watched as his cousin was shot by the Klan for looking at a white girl. He eventually made his way to Harlem where he became a heroin kingpin by traveling to Asia’s Golden Triangle to make connections, shipping heroin back to the US in the coffins of soldiers killed in Vietnam.” Maaaan, GO see this movie if you haven’t already. It’s great. And, not to mention, you’ll be able to stare at that delicious little creature named Denzel Washington for a full 8.5 hours (or however long that fucking film is).

Speaking of Denzel … He’s today’s “Manly Monday” pick. Believe it or not, the man is going to turn 53 next month!!!! So, what do you think? Denzel Washington, “still sexy as hell” or “his sexy factor broke about 5 years ago”?

Related FBC posts:
Open Letter to My Laptop ["Denzel"]
R.I.P Denzel. :-(
Open Letter To The Man Who Sent Me His Penis

Additional non-FBC links that may interest you:
New York Magazine’s Lords of Dopetown: A Conversation Between Frank Lucas and Nicky Barnes

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{ 9 folks got down with the Funky Brown }

How to “Subscribe” to a Website

Have you noticed random letters like RSS, XML or other letters that don’t seem to spell out anything useful randomly displayed on various websites? They’re “feeds”. Six Apart has a pretty straight forward description of ‘em. So does FeedBurner. Basically, if you subscribe to a site’s feed, you’ll receive an update every time any content on that website changes. But, why would you ever need to subscribe to a feed? Good question. Subscribing to feeds is probably only useful to you if you visit a lot of different websites. Instead of point and clicking your way to each individual site, you’d pull snippets together in one place via your feed reader. For example, if you love one of this fabulous city’s newspapers, the New York Times, you can subscribe to specific pages on their website. To do that, you’d simply go to their RSS page and pick the information that you want to receive updates about. Let’s say you want to receive updates about their jobs section. (What? You *are* considering moving here, aren’t you?) Okay, so, you’d go to the jobs RSS page and tell NYTimes exactly how you’d like to receive job updates (i.e. My Yahoo, Google, Bloglines, Live Bookmarks, etc.). “Sounds great,” you say. “But, how would I use this on the FBC?” Good question.

I love FBC readers! Several of you already subscribe to my feed. Of those who do, approximately half of you use Google. The other half of you use other stuff. If you don’t already subscribe to my feed and you’d like to do so, you have three options:

  1. Use this link: http://funkybrownchick.com/feed to subscribe to funkybrownchick.com. (Subscribe to Panties210 by using this link: http://feeds.feedburner.com/panties210.) *OR*
  2. Subscribe by email. If you want to receive any of my blogs directly in your email each day, check out the sidebars on any of my sites. Somewhere there, you’ll see a box that says “enter your email address” for FeedBurner. Enter your email address and you’ll receive my blog via email. *OR*
  3. Select the feed reader of your choice. If you prefer Rojo, My MSN, check out the sidebar to your right. In the sidebar all the way at the bottom, right you’ll probably see the various options.

Hope this info about feeds was useful. If you have any questions, email me. (Contact information is in the sidebars of my sites.) We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled program — updates about my life and dates in New York City — on Monday.

{ 18 folks got down with the Funky Brown }

How To Do It with a Girl

Wow! November is already shaping up to be a busy month for girl on girl action. First, Rachel did me. Then, I did Tristan. And, tonight, I’m going to do California Girl. What am I talking about? Interviews of course. If you missed it late yesterday, Rachel Kramer Bussel interviewed me for Cupcakes Take the Cake — a blog about cupcakes that was recently mentioned in the New York Times. For more girl on girl interview action, today, check out my interview with Tristan Taormino over at Nerve magazine. (See: Does Tristan Taormino Want Me to Have Anal Sex with My Dates?) And, tonight? I’m going to a party with California Girl. This makes me happy. California Girl is a ton of fun. I haven’t seen her in what feels like ages, so I’m really looking forward to catching up. I’m not going to interview California Girl, per se, but we are going to gossip widly. We have stories to swap about talking to naked boys at random parties. Ah, boys. Hmmm … this reminds me, I really must make a concerted effort to interview more boys before the year is over.

Related FBC posts:
Anal Is the New Oral
I Got Fined $335.10
Bodies & Sex Are Good and Beautiful

Photo credit:
Hank Hoffman, 2007.

{ Be first to get down with the Funky Brown }

Is It Friday Yet?

UPDATE: Here’s another photo

What’s that you say? No, it’s not? That’s a pity. Anyway. I’ll be back later today to post pics from the Halloween festivities. In the meantime, here are a few “Soulja Boys and Girls” for your viewing pleasure (courtesy of CollegeHumor). Done.

{ 6 folks got down with the Funky Brown }

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