From the monthly archives:
Holiday travel has taken me away from the blogs a bit. I’m on Nerve today. Read: A Place to Call Home:
“You don’t have rhythm,” he tells me in his clipped German accent. I’m confused. Surely I misunderstand him. “What?” I scream over the loud beats of the music hitting the the dark dance floor. It’s at this point that he [...]
Folks, I am STRUGGLING here in the cornfields without internet!!!!!! I may get bumped off line, so bear with me if this post ends after this sentence. [Wipes brow.] Whoa, I honestly can’t believe it’s still working. Anyway, so, believe it or not, no one has discovered a way to wire cornfields — or deer antler, for that matter. So, for today, check me out over at Mandrake Society Radio. If you just want to hear the podcast, click this link.
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Podcast credit and thanks:
J.W. Richard from Mandrake Society Radio
Vanessa Hidary a.k.a The Hebrew Mamita
Magnatune.com
… and all other folks mentioned in the podcast
How much do I love New York magazine? [Holds hands 2 feet apart from each other.] THIS MUCH! If you haven’t already seen Year in Review: Vulture Salutes the Wangs of 2007, definitely check it out. Good stuff. What could possibly be more manly than a full 12 month observance of manly members? Nothing, friends. Nothing is more manly than that. So, hat tip to the folks at New York mag; instead of writing my own post for today’s Manly Monday, I’ll send you over to their site. What are you waiting for? Go there.
And, off I go. I’m going to the cornfields of Illinois for the holiday break. Fret not; I’m taking my laptop with me. The blog continues with Tales from the Heartland. Speaking of things I’m taking with me … I’m taking my iPod with me on the plane and I’ve loaded it with tons of videos, songs, and podcasts. I hate flying. Luckily, the cute little square thing is going to keep me occupied during the flight. I’d write more, but I’m busy packing like a maniac and getting a ton of stuff done for work. So, for now, I’ll leave you with this video from College Humor. I’ve not seen “2 Girls 1 Cup” because I don’t think I have the stomach for it, but I must say that the reaction videos are hilarious:
TALL DUDE: I measured myself the other day.
ME: What do you mean by “measured”? Do you mean like “measured your whole self” or “measured your penis”?
TALL DUDE: [looks at me incredulously]
ME: What?! I’m just saying, you know, most men measure their penises. So, I didn’t know what kind of “measuring” you were talking about.
TALL DUDE: [looks dumbfounded yet slightly amused]
ME: Okay, um, whatever. Nevermind. How tall did you say you were?
TALL DUDE: [takes gulp of beer from glass] ]I’ll just say this … I think the human body tends to be very proportionate.
ME: [smiles] Nice. That’s, um, very nice.
Welcome to FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com — where the “M” in Monday stands for M-A-N. At the top of each week, we explore circumcision, testosterone and other “manly” subjects. Topic for aujourd’hui? Men with deep voices. Blame YouTube for putting this bug in my ear. I recently stumbled across old Barry White videos on their site. No one can deny that Barry’s deep, sizzling voice enjoys a somewhat universal appeal. There’s something incredibly [for lack of a better word] “manly” about it. But, here’s the thing: if you were to meet a guy who spoke that way every day, would it not begin to sound a little bit silly? Kind of “faux sexy”? It’s like that random guy I met on the street a long time ago. He gave me his number. When I called him, he asked me to hold on for a minute. I did. When he returned to the call, his voice was a few octaves deeper. Silly, right? But, w-w-w-ait. Before we all trash men with really deep voices, let us consider whether or not the alternative extreme — men (i.e. Beckham, Ed Norton, Chris Rock) with higher pitched voices — are better options. I think not. How about you? Are really deep voices automatically sexier than really high pitched voices?
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Photo Credit: Miroslav Nagy
I’m at Nerve mag today. See: The Smell of His Scent. It’s about a night with a guy and a lost condom. I’ve refrained from mentioning whether the encounter happened last night, last year, or five years ago because it shouldn’t matter, quite frankly. But I must admit that I was slightly reluctant to post back-to-back FBC posts related to sex. Even though I’ve not actually had sex vaginal intercourse with a man in nearly a year, I’m well aware that there’s a prudish stigma attached to women who talk about sex too much … especially sex with multiple partners. So, for shits and giggles, I looked up the word “promiscuous” in the dictionary. Interestingly enough, the label can be applied to, um, I dunno, almost anyone over the age of 18 who has had sex with more than one partner. I find that quite fascinating and special. And, by “fascinating and special” I mean “pretty fucked up”.
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Photo Credit: Dennis Spelt
Copyright © Twanna Hines and Funky Brown Chick, Corp. 2005–2012
