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Link: No More Mr. White (American) Guy
Copyright © Twanna Hines and Funky Brown Chick, Corp. 2005–2012
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I read your post at Nerve with interest as I’m a black girl and I’ve never dated a black man. Aside from the fact that I haven’t really had the chance to yet as I broke up with my first boyfriend only a couple of months ago, I think the main reasons why are that:
- black guys tend not to be attracted to me (as a massive generalisation, they don’t like my cut-glass accent and find it something to belittle, and my attitude is apparently not “black enough”, whatever that means) and
- the black guys that do like me tend to aspire to that whole “I act like I grew up in Harlem even though I’m really from Dulwich” thing, which I find a major turn-off, and
- the circles I move in (as a result of where I live, my university and studies) are mainly white.
The only thing that stresses me about dating white guys is the fact that I might be viewed as a novelty or as someone to test the whole “once you go black you never go back” theory. Generally, I’m an equal opportunities kinda gal, I’m currently obsessed with an Indian guy (Nate) I would sacrifice my entire dating future for one night with Gary Dourdan, my ex is Anglo-Moroccan (v. tasty mix) and my love for the European man is well chronicled!
DAMN! I still can’t get Nerve at work! Damn you to hell, corporate firewall!
Aww. I read your post. It’s tough being a black woman. Huggie hugs.
@ Ella: Thanks for interesting comment. I’m a fan of (and I date) black men. I date other people, too. :)
@ Baba Doodlius: Well, at least we have you here at the FBC.
@ Bianca Reagan: You’re too cute.
Thank you! I get that a lot, and I do try.
I have no problem with black women dating whoever they want. I really don’t understand why is there a need to have the monologue ready. The “why I don’t date black speech.” I find it to be a a little disingenuous. People are going to be who they are attracted to.
I used to think I wouldn’t mind marrying a white guy (still am open to it if the right opportunity arose) but I’ve come to realize that I enjoy the shared cultural experience that I get with black men. Black men get me. The white male, not so much.
@ Bianca Reagan: :)
@ Joe Clyde: Dude, I don’t have a monologue. :)
@ GrizzBabe: You never know how the whole “dating stuff” will turn out …
Hi, Funky Brown Chick. I liked your article and even though I’m white (Scottish, to be exact – you don’t get much whiter than that although luckily I’m living in a sunny climate now!) I could have written a variation of it myself.
I’ve been living in the US for over three years now, and I have to say that I’m sorely disappointed in WHITE American men. I know this is a huge generalization, but the ones I’ve come across have such a sense of entitlement to them, which I find incredibly off-putting. And, even though I’m white they’re so, uh, “whiter”.
I’ve found that I get along better with “hyphenated” Americans because they’ve usually been exposed to a different culture/language.
Hi Slutty!
Glad you like my piece over at Nerve. And, for the record, I **LOVE** the Scottish accent. So sexy. I checked out your blog. You should do a podcast so I can hear your voice. ;)
FBC