I’d never met anyone who had actually stoned someone until I met A.J. Jacobs. Rewind a week or so. I’m at an Upright Citizen’s Brigade event presented by former Daily Show and Colbert Report executive producer Ben Karlin. Actress/comedian/Brooklynite Kristen Schaal hosts. Fountains of Wayne supply the live tunes. About half way into the night, this cute little Jewish writer with a head topped with dark wavy curls walks up to the stage and immediately puts the audience “there.” We’re in the story, laughing along and rooting for him. From Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me, he reads a passage about a dirty girl who captured his heart ages ago. If I remember the pages correctly, the diva had outrageous hair and wore animal print clothing. She sounded like the kind of woman I’d chase if I were a lesbian (or a man). I like bad girls. In any case, A.J. continues reading about the chick and you *totally* relate to the story because you’ve either lived it or know someone who has. He’s the sweet, unassuming and grounded guy. Kind of like calming waters, right? She’s a firecracker looking for a match to ignite her. The attraction was probably mutual, instant and doomed from the start. “So, that’s what happened?” you might be wondering. “She dumped him, so he fucking stoned her?” Uh-uh. Wrong hardcover. Jacobs also wrote The Year of Living Biblically. A “reverent agnostic,” he grew his beard, stoned a man and performed other religious feats.
I tracked him down at a recent event and kindly asked him to sign my copy of his book. As he obliged, I crimped my fingers against either sides of his face below the eyes. He blushed at the cheek pinch, and I’m pretty convinced the man thinks I’m a certifiable nutcase now. In any case, A.J. Jacobs is this week’s Manly Monday Testicle-Driven Tuesday pick. “Hey,” you ask, “in the beginning of this post, you mentioned he had a girl with leopard-print duds. Whatever happened to her?” Dunno. They parted ways. But not to worry; Jacobs eventually found his life partner. They live together in Manhattan where Jacobs recently spent ninety-three minutes wearing a “polka-dotted breast-feeding pillow” to feed one of his three sons soy-spike formula.
Here’s a question for this lovely Tuesday: Is it true that good guys are drawn to “bad girl” girlfriend, but they settle down with women they think would make “good girl” wives? (For the flipside, is it true that good girls are drawn to “bad boy” boyfriends, but they settle down with men they think would make “good” husbands?) Feel free to use the comments section below to share your opinion.
Photo credit: Images appear online at Simon & Schuster
Related link: My Life as a Hot Woman by A.J. Jacobs