Are Good Guys Drawn to Bad Girls?
February 26th, 2008 ·
I’d never met anyone who had actually stoned someone until I met A.J. Jacobs. Rewind a week or so. I’m at an Upright Citizen’s Brigade event presented by former Daily Show and Colbert Report executive producer Ben Karlin. Actress/comedian/Brooklynite Kristen Schaal hosts. Fountains of Wayne supply the live tunes. About half way into the night, this cute little Jewish writer with a head topped with dark wavy curls walks up to the stage and immediately puts the audience “there.” We’re in the story, laughing along and rooting for him. From Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me, he reads a passage about a dirty girl who captured his heart ages ago. If I remember the pages correctly, the diva had outrageous hair and wore animal print clothing. She sounded like the kind of woman I’d chase if I were a lesbian (or a man). I like bad girls. In any case, A.J. continues reading about the chick and you *totally* relate to the story because you’ve either lived it or know someone who has. He’s the sweet, unassuming and grounded guy. Kind of like calming waters, right? She’s a firecracker looking for a match to ignite her. The attraction was probably mutual, instant and doomed from the start. “So, that’s what happened?” you might be wondering. “She dumped him, so he fucking stoned her?” Uh-uh. Wrong hardcover. Jacobs also wrote The Year of Living Biblically. A “reverent agnostic,” he grew his beard, stoned a man and performed other religious feats.
I tracked him down at a recent event and kindly asked him to sign my copy of his book. As he obliged, I crimped my fingers against either sides of his face below the eyes. He blushed at the cheek pinch, and I’m pretty convinced the man thinks I’m a certifiable nutcase now. In any case, A.J. Jacobs is this week’s Manly Monday Testicle-Driven Tuesday pick. “Hey,” you ask, “in the beginning of this post, you mentioned he had a girl with leopard-print duds. Whatever happened to her?” Dunno. They parted ways. But not to worry; Jacobs eventually found his life partner. They live together in Manhattan where Jacobs recently spent ninety-three minutes wearing a “polka-dotted breast-feeding pillow” to feed one of his three sons soy-spike formula.
Here’s a question for this lovely Tuesday: Is it true that good guys are drawn to “bad girl” girlfriend, but they settle down with women they think would make “good girl” wives? (For the flipside, is it true that good girls are drawn to “bad boy” boyfriends, but they settle down with men they think would make “good” husbands?) Feel free to use the comments section below to share your opinion.
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Photo credit: Images appear online at Simon & Schuster
Related link: My Life as a Hot Woman by A.J. Jacobs
February 26th, 2008 ·
February 26th, 2008 | 
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Hi, I'm 
i hope that’s true cause i’m a good girl and i want a good boy to marry ;)
Mrs. Doodlius is good AND bad, in all the right ways.
OK, sorry about that.
Anyway, I’ve always said that opposites attract but it’s always chemistry that makes you stick. So, that whole “good chases bad” thing is often true, but there has to be more than just that for that type of relationship to last.
Aside: I’ve been meaning to read that “Living Biblically” book for a while now. Anybody read it? Is it good?
It’s true for me. I had a couple of boyfriends who never would have “made the cut” if I were looking for a husband at the time. Since I was just out to have fun, I could play a little wildly. When I knew I was in the market for keeps, I was much pickier.
Yeah I think so. My goal is to find a woman with an interesting future, not an interesting past.
@ Carolina Pereira: I’m not sure if I’m a good girl or a bad girl. Two years ago — pre-Rihanna — “Le Canadien” described me as a good girl gone bad.
@ Baba Doodlius: The book RAWKS!! Definitely read it. And, interesting that you mention Mrs. D is a good girl gone bad. As I mentioned to Carolina above, one of my exes describes me the same way.
@ Pegs: Couldn’t agree with you more. Except, of course, substitute “longterm boyfriend” for “marriage” in my case.
@ Raymond: I have an interesting past and an interesting future — but the word is used differently for each case.
Haha, due to my inexperience with the Bibble(sic) I briefly assumed ’stoning’ was related to a sex act at age 16 or at age 40 with the help of some ‘V’. “Hell yeah, I’ve stoned before!” ;-)
I’ve always liked the bad girls, i.e. the superfreaky Rick James kind “you don’t take home to mother”.
Somehow I ended up marrying a “good one” with a bad streak once in a while, and I console myself with the fact that in case of emergency there’s a bad girl on every corner in NY (and not all are pros!).
Errorboy = Badboy :)
I don’t know about good guys to bad girls. I’ve seen it a few times with a few guy friends but the guys are so devastated they make it tough for the next girl.
On the flip side, I can understand about the draw to bad boys. But when you get enlightened, you’ll avoid them like a plague. For me, I say, how about a nice guy with an edge?
You’ve said, “I’ve seen it a few times with a few guy friends but the guys are so devastated they make it tough for the next girl.” That’s DEFINITELY the case for a couple of my exes. I actually told one guy, “I wish I met you before she got to you.”
And, yeah, I think nice guys with an edge are good picks. :)