Cougars and Cubs: Older Women, Younger Men
Is it true — as the guys in this video claim — that all boys fantasize about older women? “As a kid [...] you naturally are attracted to an older female. You wanna bone your teacher. You wanna bone your best friend’s mother. You wanna bone, you know, the woman across the street … you know what I mean … secretly when her husband’s at work. You kind of have these natural fantasies.”
Heeeeeeere, little cubbies. Wanna come out and play? As many of you know, my “engagement” to Sweet-Faced, Bearded Kid is off. So, here’s what I’ve been thinking. Is it time for this fit 30-something cougar to find a new , spry, 20-something boytoy? Maybe. Maybe not. In any case, I saw the video above over at current.com.
Remember this photo? I created it for a previous post on urban cougars almost a year ago. Lots of interesting feedback and comments on that one. Now that there are a few new folks on the blog, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Are you a cougar or a cub? Do you tend to date older or younger or exactly within your age range? And, why?
Related posts:
The Manly Men of Yelp.com
Urban Cougars and their Young Boytoys
March 21st, 2008 at 9:25 am
maybe one tends to love teaching how to trip the light
fantastic the right way….. but, with women on younger
men… the guys love it ’cause the women come sans
baggage and they know just what they want and the young guys DON’T need those funny BLUE pills…while with olds guys and young birds…. the birds are not afraid
to try new and fun things…. and they really dont ask
dumb questions like….” just what those blue things
you’re taking…”
lamesabassman…… strong… like bull…
March 21st, 2008 at 10:27 am
This is definitely true!
Personally, I wasn’t attracted to older women when I was a kid, but I did have a thing for the 20-something teachers when I was in middle school.
Though I have to say… in the 5th grade, all my friends wanted to do my mom. It’s totally an expression of the Oedipus complex. At home, they have the father figure to fear, but not with someone else’s mom.
I’m going to be 26 in a couple months and I tend to go for 24-36 year old women. I generally don’t find much interest in the younger ones.
March 21st, 2008 at 11:37 am
here’s the thing- if I plan to just “hit it and quit it” age doesn’t matter.
But if and when I look for a lasting relationship, he has to be around my age or older. 1- I’m not looking to play teacher… I need someone who is up to speed and knows who he is, and who remembers where he was when JR Ewing was shot. 2- I have kids to think about, and am 85%, no 95% sure I don’t want any more kids, so I need someone who’s like “eh- I already have kids and don’t want anymore” or “I’m too old and set in my ways to have kids”
March 21st, 2008 at 12:16 pm
OK, in the video:
Blonde cougar on the left who did all the talking: Articulate and attractive.
Blonde cougar on right who said nothing: waaaay too much facial surgery. Creepy and disturbing.
March 21st, 2008 at 5:02 pm
I agree with Jaded (minus the part about kids because I have none).
Younger men annoy me.
March 21st, 2008 at 5:04 pm
I do, however, have crushes on two of my just-turned-nineteen employees.
Purely physical though.
They still annoy me.
March 21st, 2008 at 9:00 pm
I have a boyfriend who just turned 40. I’m almost 43. Best sex I ever had, because I’m at a point in my life where I know just how to explain what I want/ need and he is very willing to comply. I have previously dated only men older than me.
But I’m thinking it’s almost played out, for other reasons, so… oh well. Maybe I can find me a nice 39 year old.
March 22nd, 2008 at 2:52 am
@ lamesabassman: Ah, the little blue pills.
@ AkA “Paul”: Rock on with your cougar lovin!!! :)
@ The Jaded NYer: GREAT comment. And, for the record, I know exactly where I was when JR got shot!!! :)
@ Baba Doodlius: You are FUNNY!!! And, yeah, I agree that the chick on the left is waaaay hotter than the other one.
@ Desiree: Y’all need to talk to my friend “Bro.” She’s really disgusted by younger men, too. I was at her house for lunch the other day, and I was like, “Oooh, did you see my blog post today?” She was like, “um, no.” Damn my friends for not reading my blog. But, anyway, I showed up the video and her face transformed to reflect her disgust. She really can’t stand younger men.
@ Carly: I love you!!! Seriously, one of the many reasons why I love FBC readers is this: they come in all shapes, sizes, color, forms, ages, etc. Some have kids. Some don’t. Some are in their late teens. And some, like you, are rockin the 40s. I love it. And, I totally agree with you about sex getting better with age!
March 22nd, 2008 at 4:28 pm
I agree w/what u say… Men usually like older women: but until they’re 50!! After that they go for college girls!
I like guys that are 2-3 years older than me. My ex is actually 4 years older, still: immature and childish!! I did date once a guy that was 6 months younger than me and it was OK. It depends on the guy, huh?
Hey, thanks for the postcard! It was really cute! I can’t believe your site will be 3 yrs old soon!! congrats!
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Thanks for the congrats!! :) And, yeah, I agree kinda with you on the older men / younger women thing. :)
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Man this post brings back memories.
Thanks for the sentimentalism FBC (Funky Brown Cougar).
I’m actually gonna be a little ballsy and do a post about cunnilingus techniques… yes despite the fact that I’m a guy. Those kitties taught me a-plenty and it’s my duty to share.
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:44 pm
well…. paul…. if ya gonna do a piece on the slice of life..
share it well…. ’cause if ya do it the right way… doors will
open and manna will fall from the heavens….. for that is
the one thing that all women love to have done to them..
the right way…… make them smile and move…. and your
mindline number will be put on speed dial…. but… if you
dont make the earth MOVE…. you will be dropped like a
very bad habit…… many are called , but few are chosen….. and I am … the chosen one…. I put more
lights out than Con Ed….. so … please do so…. and let
me know when it’s done…. can’t wait to read it…
lamesabassman…… to the left … to the left…..
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Dude, thats deep! I wish I could write freestyle prose that well. “I put more lights out than Con-Ed” HAHA!
Yea it’s done, though I’m sure I missed a couple things.
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:56 pm
@ AkA “Paul”: That outta be interesting.
@ lamesabassman: Good point.
@ Aka “Paul”: Don’t encourage him! ;)
March 24th, 2008 at 2:25 am
at times….. am a hard habit to break….. but … the good
side…. am booked solid on Saturday nights…. Fridays …
I bowl…..
lamesabassman…… am busy ….. sorry…
March 24th, 2008 at 2:29 am
and…. FBC….. I can improve your wattage….. but… that
would be one for the ages….. motor skills….. wont need
none when done….. it would take 3 days for the smile to
fade….
lamesabassman…… service with a smile.. 2 last a while..
March 24th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Just want to make a point that +/- 3-4 years does not make any difference when you are 30 or 40. So Carly do not claim that you are a cougar cuz in my book u r dating a man your own age.
Nat: 6 months younger?!!! That’s crazy. You probably overstepped all your boundaries to do that. Did u?
Im 25 and in my case i’ve dated or had intercourse with women from 18-38. If you are talking about experience in bed I guess older one have more and sex has more veriety in it. However, you cannot substitute youth that younger girls have. They have a smooth skin, tight body, and naturally smell so good.
March 24th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Jonathan… so do the 30-somethings =) And black women always have that nice, oily skin. Especially when they get older.
March 25th, 2008 at 8:30 am
Hahaa! Nice topic.
In my teens I was (mentally) ready to fuck any woman under 40 and fantasized about it twice daily or more until… it almost actually happened (long story involving a tanning bed, long glances, unhidden erections). Last time I saw her (now 50+) she still looked hot.
These days, at 40, I like em young, tight, horny, open, experimental, baggage-less and naive (the kind that makes you wonder ‘when did I stop looking at the world like this, there’s so much to do, see and try!’).
Alas, both then and now, fantasy rarely meets reality.
The cougar thing worked until my early 30’s, but biggest age difference in relationship was merely 26 vs 34. When that clock started ticking, I was outta there.
March 25th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
first off CONGRATS on the blog birthday!!! is good to drop in after sooo long! whats strange is that something’s just begun with a guy who’s 26 – i turned 29 last week! and i’m amused at reading this @ this very time! i’m wondering if we’ll play it through – or i’ll never date him again!??!!
March 25th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
I’ve always enjoyed the company of a ” woman of a certain age”
They are far more liberated and less pretentious. Oral from an experienced woman is a treat. Did i mention they like anal?…..also an acquired taste. And here is the cherry topper……they aren’t worried about what you think. they are more concerned with how good the sex is and if there will be more.
March 25th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
@ lamesabassman: Congrats on your Saturday night successes!!
@ Jonathan: Wow … “Carly do not claim that you are a cougar” and “You probably overstepped all your boundaries” … Where does all of your anger / unhappiness come from? :(
@ Aka “Paul”: Okay, what’s with this “black women always have that nice, oily skin” stuff??? Tell THAT to the reader who left on comment on here telling me, “you need moisturizer.” :) Yeah, I don’t think our skin is any more or less dry / oily than anyone elses. :)
@ errorboy: Okay, so, we need to have drinks! I wanna hear the story about the sexy 50 year old.
@ Tartrazina: THANKS!!! :) Seeee, I read your mind. I *knew* there’d be an older woman / younger man combo reading this soon! ;)
@ dkzone: Sounds like you’ve had more than one experience with an older woman …
March 25th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
You’re the first black chick that ever told me that =)
March 25th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Well, there you go! Learn something new every day, no? ;)
March 25th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
I don’t need to be drunk to tell the story. It may actually be safer if I’m not ;-)
Re: oily brown women
Yup, they do happen to age a whole lot better than those wrinkly whites, which is why I picked one of those up.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:29 am
FBC: i dunno. from somewhere.
Going back to the topic. I had a great date with a girl yesterday night. I didnt know her age but I thought that she is around 28. I was soo surprized when she revealed her age which was 37! She looked so great and i would never give her that much. I think u just need to be open minded and good things will happen. I think I still prefer young girls but it is nice to have veriety from time to time. :)
March 26th, 2008 at 11:06 am
it’s ” women of a certain age”
and yes i have frequented a few local suburban bars at 1130 on a weeknight…….That’s where they apear. usually sitting in a corner of the bar sipping a cosmo. They have the “thousand yard stare” as they think of something far away…maybe a past lover, maybe why she has 5 different flavors of ice cream in her fridge even though she’s perpetually on a diet…..
Then the subtle notice, and acknowledgement of the notice.
Now let me clarify….The cougar in the bar usually falls into 3 categories
1. The woman who misses the romance, and is looking for a little light conversation.
2. The bitter cougar….she got screwed in the divorce and never got over it. Most people mistake it for PMS, but pms doesn’t last for 5 years. She’s sitting alone for a reason…..
3. The hungry cougar. She’ll talk to you and by the second drink she’s thinking in the back of her head if she can get laid and get home before the babysitter gets pissed off. usually she just ends up “making out” in the parking lot. But if your skills are on point…she’ll deliver the goods…..and if your skills are REALLY on point… you’ll see her again. ;)
March 26th, 2008 at 11:18 am
dk- Man, that first paragraph sounds like the perfect setup for a harlequin romance!
March 27th, 2008 at 7:54 am
@ errorboy: You’re something special!
@ Jonathan: Glad you had a great date!!! :)
@ dkzone: You should soooooo write for one of the nudie mags!!! :)
@ Aka “Paul”: I know!! Love it, right?
March 27th, 2008 at 10:09 am
I’ve probably read enough erotica to probably be able to write some stuff…been reading about sex since i picked up my first porno mag at age 9
;)
March 28th, 2008 at 7:56 am
You saw your first porno mag when you were 9?? :) Man, I guess I got a *late* start! :)
March 29th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Just found your blog. Love it. Check out Atlanta Cougar’s wild kingdom at http://cougarswildkingdom.blogspot.com
March 30th, 2008 at 1:08 am
Welcome to the blog, and thanks for the link. LOVE your profile image of the dude wrapped around that woman’s legs. :)
June 6th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Yes. Lifelong. In fact, American Pie kind of was a double-edged sword. On the one hand, cougars were suddenly less reticent to date; on the other hand, bros were out in force, and the whole seduction that attracted me was replaced by a MILF porno angle (which isn’t implicitly bad, it just became the dominant MO and harder to find that unique, cerebral connection I wanted first).
Anyway, I had a few dates, a few good times, and learned many of them are crazy and/or Republican. So be warned.
June 7th, 2008 at 10:26 am
I’m always a little nervous talking about the experiences I’ve had with older women because there is definitely a code of secrecy maintained about such things. But despite our society’s general messages of denial and disapproval, these relationships are happening, and a lot. They are just being kept secretive for the most part. In my case the experiences have all been incredibly positive and enriching. In every experience I have had, even those in which it was clear the woman was looking for little more than a boy toy, I always felt valued and well treated. I’m not sure that is always (or even usually) the case when a younger woman gets involved with an older man. Mature women, on the other hand, generally seem to take better care of everyone and everything around them, even their toys. It just seems to be part of their nature. Any thoughtfulness, respect and consideration that’s directed at them is responded to in kind. It makes for a very strong bond potentially.
June 7th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
I don’t know. I’m kinda on the fence about the whole age thing. Frankly, in this day and age, I don’t think it MATTERS, but for the sake of Internet chit-chat, I’ll say that I’ve had relationships with a woman older than me by 12(!) years and women younger than me by six years. (I’m currently 34.)
My two worst relationships were with the one older than me by 12 years and one the same age as me.
My two best relationships were with one the same age as me and the one younger than me by six.
/shrug
Go figure.
June 8th, 2008 at 10:22 am
@ Brenz: Whaa? Cougars are crazy? :)
@ Mark: There IS a “code of secrecy” about it.
@ Andy: Go figure is right! :) FWIT, I’ve had 11 years older and 6 years younger; that’s as “far” away from my age that I’ve ever strayed.
July 6th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Hey. If a chick can keep herself in shape that long, more power TO her! :D
There are enough chicks that look horrific @ 25 that if she’s 40 and still struttin’ her stuff and is attractive, cool and fun to hang out with, ya gotta recognize a diamond in the rough & Act Like You Know! ;)
July 7th, 2008 at 1:16 am
I wanna be a diamond in the rough!! Every day, I ask myself, “Am I more like Tina Turner today than I was yesterday.” I soooo wanna rock her legs when I’m her age!!! :)
August 11th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Just read a great story on well-known cougars
http://www.nypost.com/pagesixmag/issues/20080810/Trend+Field+Guide+Cougars
August 12th, 2008 at 7:35 am
THANKS for that link!!!!! :) Reading the article now!
August 12th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
My YM is 15 yrs my junior, I am his first OW – our relationship is going on 4+ yrs and keeps getting better. And thanks to the younger women generally looking sloppy and fat I have no trouble keeping his attention and interest. Not to mention that of other YM. :)
August 15th, 2008 at 7:15 am
ROCK it woman, ROCK IT!!! :) I’m still looking for a hot little cub of my own.
August 20th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
What is needed is a serious effort to organize Cougars & Cubs. An exhaustive web search comes up at most with porn sites of unobtainable OW. If heavy set and little people can have their own thing, why can’t those who do truly enjoy being with someone outside of our age group. BTW- In my last affair with a Cougar, the age difference was no less than 23 years. She never told me exactly how old she was.
August 20th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I’m just happy to see all of the people who are not willing to be judged or stereotyped have beautiful radiant smiles and fun… You know what they say – life is not a dress rehersal – so have fun and stop worrying what everyone else thinks!
Great post!
August 21st, 2008 at 2:14 pm
@ palmbeachblk: Try http://www.urbancougar.com
@ Michelle: GREAT POINT!! Life is waaaay too short to worry about other people’s drama. :)
September 1st, 2008 at 1:18 am
I have to say that I agreed alot with the attractive blonde on the left in the cougar video – they make a big deal out of older women and younger men having any kind of relationship together. The truth of the matter is I have found that younger men make me feel younger and they seem to be better lovers because they want to make an impression on an older woman and I think they strive harder to please you in a lot of aspects not just sexually. The facts are that a younger man and an older women’s sex drives are compatible with one another and provided they enjoy each other’s company and depending on what each other’s goals are in life – things can work if you both want them to. I know people that have made it work. I have known older men that play just as many games as some of the younger guys so I think it just comes down to what each person wants in their life. I love younger men and hope that one of these days I find me one that is looking for a relationship and finds fulfillment in an older woman in all aspects of a relationship. I think some people view being a “cougar” is just from a sexual standpoint and I do not see it that way at all.
September 1st, 2008 at 9:09 am
I agree. :) Younger men usually make better lovers.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
I love YM. My ex boyfriend and I just broke up though (10 yrs my jr) because I am looking for a serious relationship and he is still ‘finding himself’. To be clear, I told him when we started dating that I was done with boy toys and wanted something serious. He said he did too. I suppose that is one of the drawbacks. YM are great if you’re only looking for sex. I’m 37. I DO want the sex, but I also want some committment. Most YM are NOT looking for a steady relationship. Sigh.
September 13th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Having just separated from my husband of 15 years (whose also 3 years younger than me), I am ALL about younger men! Though I’m 36, they seem to be the men that approach (maybe being I act like a big kid). Maybe its the vibe I put off, I’m certainly NOT looking for a serious relationship – playing around is fine with me ;-)
Also, in the area where I live, most men my age are married with children. They’re not going out or doing social things on the weekends. They’re home. Which is fine with me :)
September 18th, 2008 at 11:15 am
I recently started seeing a younger man. I am 45 he is 24. Although it was a great boost for my ego….I am finding that this younger man is quite the game player. I wonder if you toddlers out there think that just because we older gals are single that we are stupid and desperate and will tolerate childish behavior. What is coming to mind is a saying….A great penis on a stupid man only makes him a big dick. Am I wrong here?
October 1st, 2008 at 3:48 pm
I am 45 and date younger men typically. I have no desire to marry again, I am financially secure and do not need a man to take care of me but I also am not looking to take care of someone else or be their teacher. I like younger men, typically early to mid 30’s, because there are more available men in that age group, many do not have kids or ex-wives and they are interesting and vibrant and sexy. I find younger men like me because I have taken care of myself (think of the woman on the left side of the video), I am not trying to marry them or figure out how to get them to have a child with me. Some men are highly attracted to successful women and those men are usually very successful themselves and are not looking for a sugar mama, which I would never be anyways. They like that I am independent, well traveled, intelligent and sexually open.
Oh, and I would like to address the stereotype of “cougars” prowling for vulnerable younger men. I think that is insulting to younger men. Just because someone is younger than me does not mean they are victims or not an adult. I know I did not appreciate being treated like that in my 20’s and 30’s.
October 3rd, 2008 at 1:52 am
I have always dated and had sex with women lot older than myself. I do prefer older women as they are more mature and also the sex is great.
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Ok .. good stories, most of which I agree with but I need feedback. I recently broken up with my cub (or my lil bumble bee diaper bag as I lovingly called him) about a month ago. Being the older more mature one, you would think I could shake the lost and move on. I am married with kids with a great professional life. This busy little bumble bee came buzzing into my life and stung me in all the right places (places I was not getting at stung at home and places I didn’t know could be stung) and I completely lost all sense of what was right. I felt more his age than mine. He made me feel alive sexually, physically and mentally! He was pollinating a flower 12 yrs older but dag was the nectar sweet. This flower had new blooms every day. I have actually known him since his childhood and we were friends. He and my brothers grew up together and we ran into each other about 4 yrs ago and one thing lead to another. This has been the best but worst 4 yrs of my life. The things he did for me sexually at my age completely turned me into his slave. I did more for him that I did for myself or my family. He was truly a friend first then he became my lover but I also always felt like a mother figure to him too. Here is the catch… because I was married, he never wanted to stop seeing other women and I tried real hard to accept that. He also was very spoiled and self centered plus mean and heartless at times. We had agreements and fights just like a true couple and in so many way he treated, used and made me feel like his wife. We saw each other every day, good and/or bad days. For 4 yrs I put up with him filling up other bee hives with his (my) honey and I still catered to his every every every need. I gave him anything and everything but I felt I needed to because I was married and I didn’t want to lose that feeling he gave me (in so many mind blowing ways). Then one day the you know what hit the fan and he crossed the line by disrespecting my in front of one of his flings. I guess I was fed up and tired of his mind games and lost it. I went left field on him and made sure all the hives he had been buzzing knew about each other. I blew his game out of the water. Remember I was also the mother figure that would not leave him in his mind so I knew about all of the rest, they just didn’t know about me. I walked away but I have been miserable since. My husband found out about it all but in spite of it, we are still together but I spend every minute of eavry day and night wishing and wanting him back. So tell me, how am I 2 old 2 b 2 foolish?
October 5th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
I think that maybe all (straight) men have fantasized about an older woman at least once in their lives. The seductive goddess thing is hard to ignore.
Getting along with a woman is a whole different story, though. Older or not, any woman who is comfortable enough with herself to be honest with ME, gets all sorts of kudos, even if we don’t “kick it”.
If I had to explain my attraction to an older woman, I would have to say it’s because I can appreciate anyone wise enough to show me something I didn’t already know, whatever that may be. ;)
October 5th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
I am 44 yrs old and look at least 10 yrs younger or more. I have been having younger men hitting on me for about 10yrs. The youngest just recently being 19. I would date men my own age, however they are off chasing the 18 to 20 year olds. Or the ones older then me that hit on me are boring as hell and sometimes remind me of my father, what a sexual turn off.
October 15th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
With the exception of my first boyfriend, I have dated younger men for my entire life. Now in my mid-40s, I am frequently told I look no more than 30 by young guys. They like me, I like them. And I (like Demi) am currently dating a guy that is 15 years my junior.
I prefer younger men for some of the same reasons written above. Less baggage (no ex-wives and alimony to complain about), they are more flexible in their attitudes about sex and everything else, they are fun and their bodies are firm and hard in all the right places. I work out in the gym frequently and make sure I keep it together. I want a man that looks as good as I do and that keeps me satisfied and laughing.
And I agree with the statement that maturity is not associated with age. Not at all! Many older cats have some of the most ridiculous maturity problems and stereotypes about women. It really gets on my nerves. The younger guys I’ve come across are mature, accomplished, educated, and have their crap together. They all WANT to date older women and report having little to nothing in common with females their age.
And though I do get tired of hearing about T-Pain and Little John, I’d still rather hear that and dance the night away than be stuck at home listening to some older dude guy whine about his back pain and indigestion. lololol!!
October 15th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
If I were single, I’d probably go for a younger guy. It’s funny when they hit on you and I get a boost from it. At nearly 35, I don’t think I’m old, but when some hot 18-25 year-old is flirting with you, it’s adorable even if nothing comes out of it.
November 12th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Well Im married to a great guy 20 years younger than me and its going great. We fit together better than I ever did with guys my own age. Mind you there are so many people out there that think it wrong but hey we are happy and get along and its great you should try it.
November 14th, 2008 at 10:16 am
@ texasgirl: Ooooh, several of the women here have said that. “YM are great if you’re only looking for sex.” Wonder what the younger men think about that.
@ Christie: Exactly!! If you’re an energetic 30-something woman, younger men are the way to go. :)
@ Taresa Nantt: Yeah, there was quite a big age gap between the two of you. Maybe he seemed immature because he really didn’t have the same life experience?
@ Tammy T: You said younger men are “interesting and vibrant and sexy.” Yes, yes and yes!! :) And KUDOS to you for being straight about the stereotype younger men are victims of older women.
@ Ryan: Do you live in New York? :)
@ 2 old 2 b foolish: Wow! Amazing story. Sounds like that was A LOT to go through. :( Hope everything turned out okay in the end. At the moment, it sounds like things are going better.
@ Nate: And, you? Do you live in New York, too? :)
@ Deborrah and @ Kelly: I am *LOVING* on all the older women with the younger boyfriends. You GO girls!!!
@ starkitty50: Oooh, I knooooow!!! I’m such a sucker for younger men who hit on me. I totally swoon and wiggle my “come hither” finger toward them. ;)
@ Midnights Unicorn: Fuck what other people think. If you’re happy, that’s all that matters. :)
November 21st, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Jonathan you said this “Im 25 and in my case i’ve dated or had intercourse with women from 18-38. If you are talking about experience in bed I guess older one have more and sex has more veriety in it. However, you cannot substitute youth that younger girls have. They have a smooth skin, tight body, and naturally smell so good.”
Are you trying to say that older women don’t smell good??? I am 40 and I smell great in all ways!
I found that comment a bit offensive to older women.
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:49 pm
I sorta like being cougariffic. Young guys I noticed can be funny and serious too. I usually went for guys older than me by say 3 – 4years but all they wanted was a trophy and a sex slave. But with my young in it’s an adventure in bed and not do as you are told and he worships me (I love it), of course the age diff ain much (2years) and you have to be careful not to end up mothering him…
December 2nd, 2008 at 1:34 am
[...] I like dating younger men. [...]
December 14th, 2008 at 1:54 am
I am currently getting involved with a 33 year old woman and I am 24. It has it’s ups and downs. I don’t like the fact that I have to share her time with her kid…and deal with drama from her ex from long ago…We haven’t even talked sexual yet(which is unusual for me in my relationships because I always have a sexual undertone), maybe it’s because she’s not as mystified by sex as my previous young girlfriends…which makes it so much more erotic when I slip in an innuendo and she brushes it off…I feel like she has a confidence that younger girls don’t. I like she’s waiting to take me to the play ground and give me a treat. I know she wants to ride my young bone just as bad as I want her to use some of her masterful ballet skills to satisfy me. The fact that she is in great shape impresses me so much, it takes a lot to stay in shape after having a kid. You know damn well she’ll feel good knowing she can take it from me and put me to bed. She’ll look at me sleep and smile knowing that she just fully satisfied someone almost ten years younger than her. It’s so exciting and different. I’m sick of dealing with little girls who play confused all the time.
December 22nd, 2008 at 6:50 pm
I used to exclusively date men at least 4-5 years older than me. Now I find that they can’t quite keep up with me. Ahem! So I have certainly set my sights a little younger but I won’t go more than 5 years younger (for anything more than a fling) because I find our references are too different. On the plus side, they can definitely keep it in gear.
By the way, T, you’ve been TAGGED! Visit my blog at http://www.patranila.blogspot.com
December 23rd, 2008 at 7:07 am
@ Buni: You tell him!! And, yes, plenty of older women have smooth skin and tight bodies, too. :)
@ Ebene: Ah, cougariffic. LOVE that word. :)
@ Tim: Good for you! Sounds like you’ve found someone you like and she likes you? That’s always fun.
@ Patranila: Younger men are AWESOME!! :)
January 14th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Hi
first time reading this site and it’s very interesting I will be 51 this year and am engaged to a 29 yo—he pursued me for a while and has said he has been in love with me for a couple of years. We do have a lot in common including hot sex lol but he has also asked me to marry him sooooo will keep you updated
January 17th, 2009 at 1:12 am
It HAS been interesting reading. However some of the women posting here aren’t actually old enough to seriously discuss the subject. It truly must be a 15+ year gap between you and your man or you don’t really qualify or understand, k? Then, and only then, does it become a social issue you have to honestly deal with.. that is, if you’re really deep in love. You’ll face a jealous & biased world out there most days. It’s sad but true.
I’m 53 and my guy is 37 and in all ways it’s wonderful with us. We’re both in good physical, emotional & spiritual shape (having learned some lessons along the way) and we’re both single. The age thing concerned me more at first (since I have one child, a son, who is only 6 mos younger than the love of my love) but that was never an issue for my sweetie.. and grows less of an issue with me each day that passes. We are blissful and that’s what important; to have found each other at all is an incredible blessing! so others will just have to understand, like it or not.
And please DO NOT adhere to the fact that all older woman/younger men pairings are purely sexual. We fell in love long before we ever even kissed, and are now waiting to be married before we make love. We sincerely believe this was a God-thing, and are delighted to have Him in this triangle with us! However, I just know the sex is going to be amazing as well! We have so much fun together already.
Be happy for us and welcome all other couples you may meet like us.
Thanks & I hope u eventually find the soulmate you’re seeking also!
January 24th, 2009 at 3:45 am
I’m attracted to older women. It’s been a while since I’ve dated one though. The reason younger men are attracted to older women in my opinion is that older women have younger women beat in almost every concievable way. They are more interesting. They have lives of their own, and don’t need you to “complete” them. They are generally better in bed. They are much less likely to have princess issues. They are more regal and confident which more than compensates for any physical edge younger women may have on them. The best thing about them is that they know men better than younger women do. They don’t hint, they ask. They don’t play games that everyone loses. They know that a sandwich, a cold beer and letting their men watch the damn game might very well be repaid with nights out, or back rubs, or diamonds.
That said, younger women do have some things going for them. They are way easier to impress, and lets face it most men have big and fragile egos. Young women are also more exciting to date for the first few months of a relationship. Until you actually have to get to know them.
January 29th, 2009 at 6:45 am
I’ve only once dated a guy older than me (he was 10 years older – I was 17). Since then, all my men have been younger (by 3 – 10 years). I was married to a guy 10 years younger than me for 20 years and it was good for a long time. Sadly, he had some other issues that finally broke us apart. I’ve recently met another guy who is 16 years younger than me and the chemistry between us is electric. My tiger is so fit it would make your heart melt. He brings out the best in me for sure. I’m not looking for marriage again (I’m independent, own my own house, have no kids and just enjoy living my life, so why look for trouble?), but an easy-going relationship with great sex, fun and friendship – and my little hottie has got all that by the bucketload.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:31 am
I am 58 year old female and have been dating a 37 year old male for 3 1/2 years. His friends and mine accept it fine, but his family will not accept it. So he has a little trouble in that area. He has a 7 year old daughter who dearly loves me and we all have such a great time together.
February 25th, 2009 at 12:00 am
To “Cougar with a Tiger”
I too am dating a man 16 1/2 years younger and like you the chemistry is unbelievable. The night we met everyone in the room noticed it and tried to hook us up.
He had a girlfriend at the time so we really couldn’t do much together. He has just gotten rid of the girlfriend and now he and I are heavily dating.
I was married to an older man (7 yrs older) for 10 years who was boring and treated me like a child and after I left that marriage I have dated and been in relationships with nothing but younger. First one was 10, 2nd was 12 (I have a daughter from that relationship). I have been single for almost 7 years now and swore if and when I brought another man in my life it would be no more than 8 years younger… but then this one hit me! What is cool is I look 10-15 years younger than my 44 and he looks and acts about 10 years older than his 27 so nobody guesses our age difference at all. He could even pass as older than I.
Do I see a future with us? Perhaps, but there are no guarantees in life so I am just enjoying every moment that we have.
March 2nd, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Well, Isn’t this just intresting. Were do I begin, Haa yes I am a 25 year old caribbean male now living in the states ( to finish school)and I find that women are generally the same no matter what continent you are on,.Now,I will have to say dating older women is leechna ( fantastic, sorry stydying a new language, Russian),I just met this young lady who is 50 years old, she is wonderful! I enjoy her company,her conversation, & her body (just viewing it, I haven’t had the pleasure of “touching” her yet) & not to mention she is of a different ethnic group than I am.She is so youthful and energetic, her smile makes me happy & her laughter makes me wanna go down pon we knee ( crazy I know). But of course their is no rush everything will be what it is in the fathers time.She & I just met so if you would like to know how things turn out let me know & I will keep you ( all of yous’) posted,until the next time.
March 25th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
nicely said. younger guys think that you will wait around for them with baited breath. hah! i'm 14 years older than my boy toy, but he sure isn't the only YM who's interested. young guys have been educated by feminists, which makes them appreciate smart women. so, older women are naturally more interesting than younger women, if the guy has any depth. but i do NOT put up with that type of behavior, no matter how cute he is. there's always plenty more where that came from. loved your saying. you are dead right! no way should we compromise our self worth for a pretty face. they are fortunate to have us, is how i look at…(from a PhD)
March 25th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
i'm in a similar situation–i'm a prof at a college and often, a male student will get a wicked crush on me. i look a lot younger than i am, which is a bonus. but i have learned that maturity isn't age dependent–that young guys can be mature and vice versa. the key is not to let a YM treat you like it's his privilege to be with you. girl, it's his privilege to be with you. i mean, older women are some of the best, kindest, wisest people i know. they rock. do you know that the average american women spends about 85% of her income on her kids/others? all that altruism is a beautiful thing, much more beautiful than a smooth thigh. also, a good lover is someone who understands how to please women. i've found that has nothing to do with age. we need to start thinking about how men can please us, and not vice versa. but yeah, young men can be boring. that's why i like to keep one of each: an YM and a sexy older guy…
March 25th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
yeah jonathan, your immaturity stinks!!
March 25th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
that was really beautiful!
April 7th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
I am 45 and the guy I am dating is 28, . We have a great time together. He is willing to learn new things where as older men are set in their ways. I am a very sexual woman and younger men want that they appreciate a woman who is sexual. I look good and take care of myself, and I think and he tells me I look as good if not better then most 20 something girls. that saying older women make better lovers, thats fact….
April 12th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
thats really great to hear i myself love mature women, i have been married to one for 3 years and i have to say i love her very much, i met her at 22 when she was 40, it was casual we went on some dates and grew found of each other so we continued the process i was wrapping up college at the time and needed to push that out of the way, so after i was finished we had absolutely incredible sex, hate to be perverted but it was fun and later we decided to marry and experience life together, it was ironic because during the beginning of our relationship we felt really awkward being together because of our age difference but we grew past that and just continued to go out. i love my wife so much we dont plan on having kids though because we think it is better to just have the 2 of us
i think its romantic
but i respect your opinion too
April 18th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
In that picture, there's one couple with a 61/56 age, and another with a 42/39. This is an age difference worth remarking on? The first is only 5 years, which is not very much, especially for people over fifty. It's a tiny percentage of total lifetime–less than 10%. But the second one is even worse. It's just three years! They're more or less the same age. If she were 22 and he were 25 would they ever hear a single comment about him 'robbing the cradle'? I wish this double standard would die.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
I would like to make friend ship with woman above 50 years pls mail me such lady friends email id pls
April 20th, 2009 at 12:09 am
It is very good relation ship between old woman and yough men I wish to get such a felations. pls help me
May 5th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Ok, so I’m a 26-going on 27 female. I’m in a fairly new relationship with a guy I’ve know for 3 years. He is 29. I have male cousins that I go out partying with that are between the ages 21-26. In the past 3 months or so, they have been bringing around their friends…exact ages 24, 22, 21 and 18. I’ve seen these guys around due to church functions and such. *I know, right?!* And in those 3 months, the 3 youngest of those friends have repeatedly hit on me and one has even confided in one of my guy cousins that they really like me which is-the 18 year old. I’m a flirtatious person, and yes I can be a perv at times…but I only look, I swear. Ugh, what bothers me is that 18 year old is the hottest of the 3 and I feel like a cougar. I’m physically attracted to the boy (okay, he’s legal) but I’m damn near 10 years his senior. And what makes it worse, he not immature by any means. I can remember when I was just finishing college and this guy was in barely a freshman in high school! Fast forward to now…he’s 6′1, has such a deep voice and is so handsome. It’s actually really disturbing. He came to my house with my one of my cousins last week…and I couldn’t even look him in the face. What the hell is wrong with me?
May 7th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
May 5th, you ask what’s wrong…well, clearly you’re attracted to the 18-year old guy. That may not matter, seeing as you are in a relationship with someone else. (It matters when you start thinking a lot about a person who isn’t the one you’re involved with, then it’s time to reconsider the relationship. Your observations about his looks and voice suggest possible problems here.)
Beyond that, you seem a bit concerned about societal expectations. If someone is mature enough to be interesting, and is old enough to be legal, the rest shouldn’t matter. The fact that you knew him when he was younger makes things a bit more complicated, but it’s possible to adapt to seeing him as a different person. You’ve already done something like this as you’ve adapted from seeing your younger cousins as adults instead of kids, and have probably negotiated a new relationship with your parents since you became an adult (and they had to stop seeing you as a little girl). You don’t have to keep envisioning him at 14, because he’s not 14 anymore.
I’ve been involved with someone 13 years older than me, and now I’m involved with someone 11 years younger than me. When we met it was about a month before his 21st birthday. As long as you are equally mature, age really doesn’t matter as much as many people seem to think it does!
June 22nd, 2009 at 6:49 am
It seems that 99% of older women want to date a much younger man – that’ why they go to toyboydating.com
June 28th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
I am dating an younger man and boy… it consumes my thoughts some days. What do i mean well, I was the one with the upper hand in my relationships when it came to sexuality and “walking away power and never looking back because I was the younger one “always” Now that I am on the other side it scares the shit out of me. Yes, I am Insecure! Insecure that he is young, bright, I think beautiful and he could very well walk away. There are some facts about him that also has has me on alert like… He comes from an political family (white) he is two years sober…. but you have to start some where. Basically I feel he is just now starting to feel himself and here comes me older, black, newly divorce and not that much to offer other than I am truly in love with him and I love giving and receiving elephant kisses. Im afraid to tell him all of this because i don’t want him to think that I am trying to marry right now but I want him to know that I want to be married.
July 9th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
My boyfriend is 34 and Im 46…. and he love’s it …we are always together we enjoy going out and doing things together at first i was kinda afraid to give my all because i wasn’t sure it was seriuos ….or out for a wham bam thank you maam….but he was very seriuos now we are never apart and every time we have the same day off from work he plans our day together its awesome ….so i know it could work
July 13th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
It’s not hard to find on the net explicit images of women over 40, even over 60. They often look directly into the camera, and access is not restricted to paying customers. Older women are discovering their inner whore. Dating men more than 5 years younger than oneself follows naturally. I like the strength and poise of older women,
as long as they are reasonably healthy. there are also advantages to interacting with a man who’s never been married. Older available men are typically divorced. A man in his 50s who has never married is a rake or a loser.
July 15th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Hi all,
I would like to say I’m 54 and have been dating a 39 yr old for over a year ,he will be 40 in Feb. and its been great, we have the best communication, we have so much in common, and the sex is awesome on both parts. He was the one who convinced me that age was just a number and he was so right, if i had not realized that.
I would have missed out on such a great life with this guy and we are getting married next year, at his insistance, and I’m glad because I would of lost a great friend, pal,confidant and most of all the Love of my life..
So you see it can work.. you just have to open up and try..
Latincougar.. I’m with up,, 3 cheers lady…
July 19th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Wow… nice video…
I always gets attracted towards older women..
The woman on the left in the video (Monica)… Oh my god.. she is HOTTT..
shes 42 yrs.. that means 20 yrs older than me… but I am in love with her now..
Hmm… i would be the luckiest man if i get a chance to bang her
July 27th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
i am a 53 year old and i have a 35 yr,old who is rocking my world,whats up with that?
August 1st, 2009 at 12:51 am
So I have this thing going with a 23 year old guy. Cute as can be….Im 40! Why do I feel so embarrased about it? He isnt at all. He’s proud to be seen with me…to brag to his friends…..I feel likke a cliche….a “cougar”.
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:16 am
if it feels good….
lamesabassman…… do it…..
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Hi all! I came through this site and I really do enjoyed what Ia m reading about older women. I’m a young gentle man who’s interested in older women, but I have not really found one I could commit myself to. I have a very high sex drive and want someone who’s gonna sweep me off my feet. If there’s any site I could sign up on please let me know.
August 14th, 2009 at 7:31 am
I am a 27yr old and dating an older lady… She is absolutely fanbulous and I love her to bits… I’ve always had a thing for older women ever since i was a kid… Never really dated younger girls or girls my age… I guess it’s in my blood, hey…
August 18th, 2009 at 12:33 am
I’m 43 and have been dating for the last 2 months an incredible young man who’s 23 – he does not know my age yet; I’ve alluded to being a “cougar”, but he’s never asked point blank my age; as for now, I’m saying NOTHING. I know his age from looking at his license while he was in the bathroom one morning – I almost choked, as I figured he was about 28 or 29. He’s orginally from Syria, but moved to Toronto when he was 10, so has much more of the Euro-Canadian way of being. He’s very unconventional, and has not practiced his born faith (Muslim) in over 5 years – whew! Says he’s agnostic, as am I. I’ve never been married and have no kids; have never wanted them and don’t. I’m petite and fair-skinned and take very good care of myself; most people peg me for 32-ish - He is the one who pulled a “chick move” last week on me by asking “So, what is this between us?” in a moment of afterglow – wanted to smack him because it was 2am and I had to think fast! Ugh!! Told him that I want to be his “lover” – meaning not a “girlfriend” and not “friends with benefits” – he was very pleased by our conversation. He’s incredibly intelligent (software geek type), very successful, and ALWAYS takes me to dinner at nice places. He’s loving the fact that I know so much about food and wine; everything is a sensual experience. He’s my total match in bed, mentally and physically. We share the same snarky/dry sense of humor and are always laughing! He has turned the colors back on in my life (I was celibate for 3+ years before meeting him), and I don’t want to lose him at anytime soon. Is there a future for us? Who knows? I’m aware that he’s young, handsome, successful, and a newbie to a big city with the world at his feet, and plenty of nubile flesh to play with – BUT – he’s also rather an old soul, has no tolerance for stupidity or princess behavior, and his ex-girlfriend was a major head case with Borderline Personality Disorder, so I’m a total breath of fresh air in comparison. I don’t call him; he calls me. I don’t chase him; I do everything to make him feel manly and in charge; so far, it’s working very well. A few weeks ago he went back to Syria for his sister’s wedding; he brought me back the most beautiful inlaid wooden box with a classic Syrian good-luck charm inside – I was beyond surprised – it was so sweet and thoughtful. He does little things like that; the first time he spent the night at my place, while I was getting ready in the AM, he washed my dishes AND made my bed!! I just loved that!! I could very easily fall HARD for him, so I’m trying to take it slow – which is funny because we a) met at a major meet-market bar in my city; b) I went home with him that night (the chemistry was EXPLOSIVE); and c) he’s rather smitten with me also. I’ve dated nothing BUT younger men since I was 30; my mother was 6 years older than my dad, so I like to say “it runs in the family” – Ha! He’s as much of a night owl as I am, and it works great – none of this “falling asleep on the sofa by 9pm” like older guys. No baggage, no drama, no need for Viagra – 3xs a night is average for us, and he’s always amazed that I want MORE. Hoping to take him to New York over the Xmas holiday; he’s never been, and we’d have such a wonderful time. Am I in love? Maybe; I don’t want to jinx anything. Gotta wait for the “90 days/same as cash/OAC” deadline to pass to have another conversation with him; I feel one cannot truly say someone is your “significant other/boyfriend/girlfriend” until you pass that bit of time; just am fascinated by this brilliant and beautiful young man who I hope will stay with me for a while; life is short – enjoy the moment!
August 23rd, 2009 at 4:59 am
Hi. My name is soni kumer. I was born in Myanmar. Now I live in Thailand Pattaya City. I’m 31 years old man. I like women from 30 years to 55 years old women. Who they interest me please sms me. This is my e.mail: tailortik@yahoo.com
Who they interest to come to visit to Pattaya please come to see me I will take care you very well. This is my mobile no. 0805724809
This is my address:Tik Custom Tailor
Tipp plaza shop no. 5
Pattaya beach road offset of coffee shop
Betwixt soi 10 and 11
August 28th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
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August 30th, 2009 at 12:47 am
I am a young person of 18años by
respect ami enchants to me
women of 26 to 30 years not but my short edadad
jente knows me says that I am a crazy person and as I go away has to be fixing to women
majors that I …… I respond mujers majors to them are
of that age they are precious and very lindasahi I leave my msn them jersson_36_99@hotmail.com
September 16th, 2009 at 11:47 am
I know what it is to be with a man 17 years my jr. I also am keenly aware of all the emotional problems this causes. I met him when I was 33 and he just of out of high school at 18. When I first saw him I literally felt like I was hit by a lighting bolt… My body felt like it was suddenly on fire- like burn hot, my hands shook and I felt like I would pass out any second… There was the blackness thing that happens sometimes when I stand up to fast and my heart was beating so hard and fast surely everyone in the room heard it. I will never ever forget that moment in time.He was and is so beautiful that sometimes it’s painful to look a him.It was so very strange and in a way painful. I then began to panic and it was too late then. One look in each others eyes from across the room and the rest is literally history.I tried so many times to push him away and he wouldn’t have it. It started that way and nothing has really chaned in the 13 years we have been together… Six of those in marriage.I was super uncomfortable in the beginning and made myself quite sick with denial and guilt. He was and is extremely confident, 6′2, blond and blue. He has a body like an athlete as he takes care of it.He has worked since day one and is now very successful. I never even dated or thought about dating somone younger. My first marriage was to someone 23 yrs my senior (it sucked and did not last long. I was 20 then and said I would never do it again). I then dated someone my age. Both saw me to 33 and that is when my life changed. I never had the “Big O” before him nor knew that I could actually enjoy sex and feel totally comfortable. The sex has always been amazing and I feel blessed to have love included. All my insecurities are just that – mine. He worships me and keeps me grounded.
Sex between older woman and younger men can be just great sex and nothing more or something much deeper.I will never know why we met and felt such a deep attraction. He is smarter than I am, much more mature and grounded and more. As corney as it sounds, we were made for each other and I am blessed in many ways.I will never know why he chose me I am just so lucky he did!!
So I think sex with younger men can be greatest sex out there. It is the emotional baggage of us woman who can get confused between just sex and wanting or needing something more. Not all younger guys want an attachment to anyone and sometimes the woman don’t. So find your balance and do not be afraid!
September 19th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
ım young man esandal82@hotmail.com
October 1st, 2009 at 12:05 pm
My name is Jose , from spain , 27 years old . Im working in london and study , and I would like to meet brittish cougars , if you interested send me a email .
kisses
October 14th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Hi to evereone !!!
i am 23 from Moldova Chisinau city, love sex with old woman, i had my frist time when i was 17 with woman 28 y.o, and 38 y.o and that was great, …
maybe here any lades want some fun or….
i hope u can contact me: vadimas2006@gmail.com
October 21st, 2009 at 12:49 pm
All boys that I knew as I grew up at some point or another wanted to have an older woman. One teacher that I had in school had ALL the boys in awe of her and I am sure she knew it, at least she acted like she realised it. To this day,I dont know of any other woman who I was more turned on by. In my opinion, these boys that have a fling with their teacher are very lucky indeed. To bad they cant keep their mouth shut about it. As far as dating between adults, age should never be a factor. Women are just now beginning to realise that if men can have women half their age ,then whats wrong with women doing the same??????
October 25th, 2009 at 11:33 am
I had a sex first time when I was 16. My boyfriend was 14. After him, in age of 17-19 I was in love with 2, 3 years younger boys so I have accustomed to younger boyfriends. Now I’m 42 and my current boyfriend is 19. It’s third serious love in my life. First was when I was 30, I was in reliatonship with six years younger guy, it lasted two years. Second serious love was when I was 35, he was twelve years younger, it lasts one and half year. And now, I’m with my boyfriend since August. Ending, I had thirty-eight sex partners with my life and only one of them was older (I was 29, he was 32.) Sorry for my English, but I`m Pole.