Sorry for putting up two posts in one day, but this one couldn’t wait. Okay, so, y’all know my short little red-haired, DC-dwelling friend Mags, right? I mention her on the blog every now and then. (Search for “Mags” in the FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com sidebar to your right.) Anyway, so, the other day, her roommate’s coworker gets into a car accident, right? She’s freaking out. Crying. Yada yada yada. She starts talking to the guy she hit. Then, she pauses because she recognizes the voice. Who is it? Ben Affleck. She fucking rear ended Ben Affleck’s SUV. The story ended up on Washingtonpost.com. So of course, I had to Digg it. :) Check out the article when you get a chance. Why doesn’t stuff like that ever happen to me??? I wanna rear end someone famous. Lenny Kravitz. Gavin Rossdale. Paul Walker. Sure I don’t have a car, but who cares. I’ll just give new meaning to the phrase “rear end” no? ;-)

Photo credit: Washington Post

Technorati Tags: Ben Affleck, Kate House

Sexy man. Sexy man! Remember that post-grunge rock band Bush? Gavin Rossdale. Man, watching this YouTube clip of MTV Spring Break ‘96 totally rekindles my 90s love for him. “Gavin performs the song ‘Glycerine’ in the pouring rain, risking both electrocution and destruction of his perfect hair.” I could swear the gorgeousness is literally gonna burn my retinas off. BUT, to my great surprise, not everyone shares the love.

I showed this clip to my friend April. Her response? “Stop it. Control yourself. He looks like a girl!!!” Damn her for not recognizing manbeauty. Anyway. Here on FUNKYBROWNCHICK, we’ve questions the droolworthiness of Zinedine Zidane, Lenny Kravitz, Paul Walker and others. Now it’s Gavin Rossdale’s turn. Tell me, lovely people, is Gavin Rossdale worthy of your lusty drool or is he just another emo wanker? Yes, some of you might be saying, “Shouldn’t this be a Manly Monday post?” Probably, but I couldn’t wait. Hence, the newly created category: “Wanker Wednesdays.”

Technorati Tags: Gavin Rossdale

I didn’t have sex for the first time until I was 22 years old. Originally from Illinois, I grew up Southern Baptist in rural Mississippi. I was gonna hold off on genital play until I got married. Needless to say, that didn’t happen. Wanna know what changed my mind? Unfortunately — yet thankfully — you’ll have to wait for the book. ;) I’m submitting a piece about sex & religion to an upcoming anthology. If my piece is accepted and published, everything will be laid out in detail there. In the meantime, I’ll say this: my repressions encouraged me to be more open and honest about my adult sexuality. I didn’t get to discuss it (or do it) when I was younger, so I wanna talk about it and engage in public discourse now. I have nothing but love for people like Zane, Dan Savage, Violet Blue, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Elizabeth Wood, Abiola Abrams and others who actively affirm that there’s nothing “bad” or “fluffy” about sex, dating and relationships writing. That brings me to this blog.

As most of you know, FUNKYBROWNCHICK is about my life and my dates in New York City. Why the moniker FUNKYBROWNCHICK? I’m quirky / funky, and I’m ok with that. Whether the nom de jour for my ethnicity is black, colored, African American or whatever, I’m always gonna have brown skin. And, of course, I’m a chick. Hence, FUNKYBROWNCHICK. The blog has “me” all over it. Now, because I’ve received the “How do I start a blog?” question from more than one reader, here’s my humble bit o’ advice:

(1) Pick a really specific topic that defines you and excites you. Men really turn me on. I love sticking my bucket in the intellectual well of literature on relationships and dating. I could write about that stuff for days. (And, I do. Online and in print. In fact, the blog you’re reading now contains more than 551 original blog posts and 6,898 kiss-worthy feedback comments … I LOVE MY READERS!!) I don’t write about knitting on FUNKYBROWNCHICK because it’s not something that interests me. But, two dudes named Gerard & Craig like to knit. So, they have a knitting blog called “I Knit”. Likewise, Kathryn Finney loves fashion; she writes about it on the highly-successful Budget Fashionista. Celebrity hater/fan Perez Hilton writes about, you guessed it, celebrities. You get the point: don’t copy anyone else’s voice. Discover your own. Find the passions that define you. Write about them.

(2) Start blogging. The easiest way to start a blog is to sign up with a free service like Blogger. They have great “how to” guides that explain what blogging is and how to do it successfully. And, of course, Darren Rowse’s site, problogger.net, is a must-read for anyone who wants to be a better blogger. I’ve read him for years. I finally met him in person in Austin last week, and he’s GREAT! His posts like Blogging Tips for Beginners, How to Write Your “About Me” Page, and What is a Blog? are extremely user-friendly and helpful.

So, there you have it. Now, for those of you who already have blogs, tell us where we can find you online. If you don’t have a site, point us to some of your favorites. (I’ve done this once before, and I loved the great new websites I discovered in the comments section. :)

Technorati Tags: Darren Rowse, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, how to blog, problogger, start a blog

I got “engaged” in Austin last week. I’ll call my “fiance” Sweet-Faced, Bearded Kid. We met while sipping free beers at SXSW. Small talk ensued, and Facebook came up. “Everyone puts their relationship status on there,” he said while stroking his full beard. “Hell,” I told Sweet-Faced, Bearded Kid, “you could go back to your hotel room and update your profile to say: ‘I just got married to funkybrownchick.’ It would be ‘true’ just because it was on Facebook. That’s how powerful that site has become.” He slid his glasses further up his face, flashed his sexy dimples with a smile and said, “I’m gonna do that.” Oh, how this fit cougar loves spry cubs. “Yes,” I winked at him. “You should do that.” And so he did. We made it Facebook official:

SWEET-FACED, BEARDED KID is listed as engaged to FUNKYBROWNCHICK.

People who know me well know that I’m childfree and pro-single. So, my friends were kinda unsettled about the quote quote engagement. “Whaa??” my friend Julie asked. My writing group pal Joe mentioned: “I saw on your Facebook page that you’re engaged. Is this true or are you simply engaging?” Apparently, Sweet-Faced Bearded Kid’s amigos were equally suspicious. “Dude, you’re killing me,” one of his buds scribbled on his Facebook wall. “It’s like the Eiger getting married. And the Eiger DOESN’T get married.” Needless to say, funkybrownchick doesn’t get betrothed either. We aren’t really saddling up — only on Facebook, for one hot moment. ;)

Since it wouldn’t be prudent to plaster Sweet-Faced, Bearded Kid’s photo on my blog sans permission, I can’t really make him today’s Manly Monday pick. Instead, we’ll tackle a testosterone-specific question. Given that hetero guys propose to women more often than vice versa, what’s the best way for a man to propose? Askmen.com’s peculiar article titled The Perfect Proposal includes suggestions like: post the proposal on a billboard, flee to Niagara Falls, ask a radio announcer to do a special dedication, and/or pop the question while you’re, um, you know, poppin’ her. “Imagine your woman climaxing physically and emotionally. She is not likely to forget that day anytime soon.” Their readers’ responses?

• Matt: Dude..I wouldn’t wish these ideas on my worst enemy…
• MK: I wouldn’t say that they’re “bad” ideas, but for the most part they’re not good either.
• Sergeant’s Little Princess: I seriously do not suggest doing the majority of these. Some of them are ok, but most are downright horrible.
• sara: wow def the wrong advice to give guys…all these ideas are terrible …
• ashley: ummm when I read this I thought it as a joke. No really…. these are horrible ideas. No offense but I mean are you serious? It reminds me kind of that episode of the fresh prince of Bel Air when that guy tries to propose to hillary when he sky dived and accidently died. But the whole thing was a joke? I think this is really silly. come on…
• skrooyu: you are all idiots. I’m emberassed to have looked at this website. Do you all realize how dumb you are, or is that also beyond all contemplation?

Anywho. Interestingly enough, About.com has pretty good suggestions. (For the record, no, I’m not being paid to mention their site.) Explain why you want to marry her, they suggest. “Don’t just utter those 4 little words, tell her why she’s the one for you, what marriage means to you, and what your hopes for the future are.” Sounds like solid advice for the marriage-minded. Other About.com tips? Don’t “hide the engagement ring in food” or “propose at a sports game” but do “make it intimate and personal thing … you’ve only got one engagement moment.” So, now it’s your turn dear readers. Feel free to share any tips, suggestions, advice or great proposal stories in the comments section.

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Photo credit: Ring pic is by Jenny Rollo. Sydney, NSW, Australia

Technorati Tags: childfree, dating blog, engagements, funkybrownchick, how to propose, single life, singles, SXSW

So, I’m reading BBC News the other day, right? “There is the jaw-dropping cost of a two-hour session with a prostitute: $4,300 (£2,143)! Forgive me for asking, but isn’t that a touch inflationary?” Gotta love the British sense of humor. Anyway, so, like you, I’ve been following the stories about NYC (soon-to-be-ex) Governor Eliot Spitzer’s so-called “fall from grace.” Emperor’s Club Call Girl Agency. Ashley Alexandra Dupre. Client 9. The Mayflower Hotel. All names that were once unfamiliar — that is, except one. The Mayflower Hotel. Hmmm, rings a bell. From BBC News … “There is the Mayflower Hotel, where Client 9 booked into room 871 as George Fox, the name one of Mr Spitzer’s fund-raisers … [T]his hotel was where Franklin Delano Roosevelt allegedly wrote one of the greatest lines in American history: ‘All we have to fear is fear itself.’ He penned those words in room 776, on the floor below.” Interesting comparison. It makes me think about this question: Why are we so afraid of the cocktail of sex and politics? Is it right, fair and just that Monsieur Spitzer is leaving his post? Maybe. Maybe not. (Feel free to use the comments section to share your views.) I mean, sure, yeah, prostitution is illegal, and the man broke the law. Coke snorting, drunk driving and murder ( … Um, Iraq War? Five years in. Death toll continues to rise. Ring any bells? … ) are all illegal, too. But, people don’t seem to care about that as much. If Eliot got caught committing non sex-related crimes, he — not the distinguished David Paterson — would be probably still be our governor next week.

Sex scandals are only “scandalous” because we’re not comfortable talking about sex in public spaces. What could be less private than a newspaper printing a story about a public official dicking a paid-by-the-hour girl (sans condom)? Hell, Monica Lewinsky’s presidential knee pads and dick-sucking sessions with Bill Clinton was the stuff impeachments were made of — and, Monica wasn’t even a whore! (Word choice is deliberate; read sex-worker-turned-author Audacia Ray’s blog post about how an MSNBC reporter called her a whore.) So, here’s where this post comes to a close. A couple of weeks ago, Sex in the Public Square had a forum on sex work, trafficking and human rights. Great site! Great forum! Amber Rhea posted this question: Would sex work be so profitable if it weren’t stigmatized or criminalized? I’d love to hear your thoughts on that topic. And, more specifically: Would “sex & politics” be less newsworthy — and, therefore, less career-ending — if we weren’t so afraid of conversations about sex entering the public sphere?

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Photo credit: Image of “Kristen” Ashley Alexandra Dupre appears online at the Sydney Morning Herald. Kristen’s website ad appears on Wikipedia. Emperors Club VIP Client 9 T-Shirt (pictured) is available for purchase at Busted Tees with the special pre-sale pricing of $14.99.

Technorati Tags: Ashley Dupre, Audacia Ray, Client 9, Eliot Spitzer, funkybrownchick, sex, sex positive

Who loves ya, baby? I do! Big drippy kisses and THANK YOUS go out to the folks who supported my trip to Austin. From hookup stories to gossip about Mark Zuckerberg, I wanna give you “SXSW news you can use” as a Reader Appreciation Day of sorts. Pull these one liners out of your pocket — whether at the office, at home or at a cocktail party — and you’ll sound like you’re “in the know” about SXSWi … even if you didn’t go.

“Damn, that Sarah Lacy / Zuckerberg interview was a fucking train wreck, wasn’t it?!” Wired, Valleywag, Techmeme, Techcrunch, folks on Twitter and people from all over the world have all commented on the madness. Valleywag said Sarah’s “unique” interviewing style is singular because “no one who’s any good uses it,” and they called Mark Zuckerberg “a man with no onstage talent.” Follow the links above for more details. And, for something a bit more positive, check out Sunni Brown’s beautiful illustration (pictured) of Zuckerberg’s key points. Click here for the full-sized image.

“Two words: Gary Vaynerchuk.” If you don’t know this man already, you will. Marketing guru Gary totally killed it at SXSW. If there was a panel, he owned it. If there was a party, he supplied the free wine. If there was a great joke to be told, it came from his lips. He was EVERYWHERE. You couldn’t miss him. Anyone who’s worth their weight in booze (or gossip) could say “Vaynerchuk” correctly by the end of the fest. Wine Library TV is his daily video video blog. Good stuff, indeed. If you stop by his site, tell that punk “funkybrownchick” sent you. ;)

“I SEE BROWN-SKINNED PEOPLE!” Lots of brown fingertips ran across laptop keyboards at SXSW. George Kelly (pictured), Lynne d Johnson, Tiffany B. Brown, Angela Benton, Jason Toney, J Brotherlove, N’Gai Croal, Kathryn Finney and a lot of other wonderful people were there. I didn’t get a chance to hear the “Africa 2.0: Affecting Change Using Technology” session, but I sooo plan to catch up with the panelists in the weeks ahead.

“Have you noticed the guy from Mashable looks a lot like Justin Timberlake?” Mashable brings you “the latest news on social networking and social software.” Really?!?! :) No, seriously, very few of my non-techgeeks knew what Mashable was. So when I saw Pete, I instantly thought: man, you’re ignoring your greatest asset. If you’ve got a cute face, use it. Stick that shit on your site. It’s marketing, baby! Listen to Julia Allison. ;) Seriously, do a flickr search of Pete Cashmore. Nice, huh? And he’s a Brit with a sexy accent?!?! Yum.

“If you’re gonna have sex in Austin …” What conference doesn’t have hookup stories?!?! I didn’t get laid, but I did get “engaged” to a sweet-faced, bearded guy named Mackenzie Cowell. Long story. Anyway. I know plenty of people got action, but I’m not gonna name names. Instead, I’ll give you links to all the sessions (including mine) about sex. Watch out, Austin! The sex-talkers are taking over your city: “Adult Conversations: Sex, Intimacy & Online Relationships”; “Breakups 2.0″; “Pink Ghetto Blasters: Destigmatizing Sex via Online Community Building”; “Sexual Ethics, Interactivity and Virtual Worlds”; “When Your Partner is Your Partner”; “The Porn Police: Know the Rules”; and “Sexual Privacy Online” with Violet Blue (pictured).

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Psssst! By the way, I love love LOVE the FBC readers — especially Ms. Rasco and Gerry T — who walked up to me and said hi. Great meeting you, and thanks for reading my blog!!! :)

Technorati Tags: funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Gary Vaynerchuk, Geoge Kelly, J Brotherlove, Justin Timberlake, Kathryn Finney, Lynne d Johnson, Mark Zuckerberg, Mashable, N'Gai Croal, Pete Cashmore, Sarah Lacy, SXSW

And by “the city,” I mean Austin. My SXSW session, Adult Conversations: Sex, Intimacy & Online Relationships, went well. My Super Shuttle driver is coming to pick me up in, like, um, 5 minutes. So, I can’t post a full update right. (Still need to pack my shit up in my carry on.) The quick and dirty? I had a blast!! I’ll post details about Sex Positive, my recent engagement / new “fiance,” pony play, Gary Vaynerchuk and other stimulating topics in the days ahead. In the meantime, you can follow along with my Austin to New York travel via Twitter. I’ll be in touch again soon!

Technorati Tags: funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, sex positive, SXSW