Apr 022008

Ah, sex toys for men. When Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall screwed around in the movie MannequinSex and the City‘s Samantha Jones became the original real doll. Lars and the Real Girl starring Ryan Gosling brought the plastic women to the big screen again and real doll manfacturers bring them directly to you.

Check out the documentary  Guys and Dolls. There’s a film synopsis from The Documentary Blog (via The Current Outlook via The DigiGuide): “Documentary about the men who use sophisticated life-size dolls for sexual satisfaction and more – such as dates, affection and lifelong companionship. Featuring a young American man who gives his doll daily massages in the home he shares with his disapproving Mum and Dad; a British man who takes his doll out on day trips to the coast where she watches him hang- glide; and two Americans who live with multiple dolls, one of whom shares his eight synthetic lovers with his human girlfriend.”

See? Fascinating.

  70 Responses to “Guys and Dolls: A Real Documentary about Life-Size Sex Toys”

  1. I watched Lars and the Real Girl, and I know there are guys like Gordon Griggs and Davecat that own Realdolls. But crikey, give the guys a break… the company that makes Realdolls say they have sold over 12,000 of them! When I first read that, I thought man oh man, that’s a lot of unloving women. If you have ever tried to get a date in L.A. you know what I’m talking about… women here are TOTALLY UNLOVING. They have no idea how to treat a man and they deserve to be replaced with a piece of silicone rubber. Remember the words to the Dummy Song by Louis Armstrong? I’ll take de legs from some old table/I’ll take de arms from some old chair/I’ll take de neck from some old bottle/and from a horse I’ll get the hair/gonna take the hands and face from off de clock/and baby when I am thru/I’ll get mo lovin from dat dum-dum-dummy/den I ever got from you!

  2. I agree with many posters, that as long as it is used a solely a masturbation aid, then it is no worse then women using vibrators. If they idealize it further or use it as a relationship replacement, or worse, then it goes to far.
    For a woman to say that a man using this solely as a masturbation aid, as a creep or sicko, then they better not own a vibrator, or they are the same thing. Either you are on the bandwagon as far as using other then human beings to achieve sexual stimulation or not. There shouldn’t be a half way, or it shouldn’t be okay for women to use toys/machines, whatever, and not for guys.
    Once again, if the guy is abusing/cutting up/ using the doll for sick fantasies, then lock them up.

    Just my opinion.

    • I actually don’t own one (a vibrator that is), so I guess my opinion “counts” for you officially, but I’ve got to say, your argument is completely illogical.
      The male equivalent of a vibrator is a fleshlight (google’s here if you don’t know what it is.) Here’s a big difference between a vibrator or a fleshlight and a real doll: those sex toys DON’T HAVE FACES OR BODIES. That makes it incredibly creepy. If some dude carried around a life size version of a parody of an african-american man– huge black lips and fro– you bet people’d have a problem with it. But men own life size grotesque parodies of real women, and it’s “just an aide?”
      The other thing I don’t understand is why you’d day if he’s cutting them up and using them for sick fantasies, that’s wrong. If I owned a dildo and I felt like slicing the thing up, I should go to jail? Really? Why?
      Re-examine your thinking here…?

  3. We live in a sick, overpopulated world, filled with crime, hunger, sewage, death, and grief, but people still need to fulfill their need for love, sex and companionship. We should encourage the use of dolls instead of ridiculing them! Dolls don’t eat, defecate, procreate, pass diseases, or create drama. Those are people problems. As William Orbit said, “It’s time to get wise.”

    Men love lots of inanimate things, like cars and boats. Women too. A doll is not so different. It’s the incredible realism of the current generation of dolls that has people disturbed, but there’s no real reason to be frightened of their place in society. A lot of people assume that a doll is the end of a man’s or woman’s relationship with the living. Far from it! Many owners are happily married, or have had relationships with real men/women, buy a doll, then later on, enter into other relationships with men/women. It’s not like it’s the end of the world. But even for those who choose that path, it’s not so bad. The doll will remain good looking forever as long as it is cared for properly. How many people can say that for themselves? None. That’s important in a world that places such a high value on looks. The doll will outlive its owner in that sense.

    Dolls have the ability to contribute a great deal of positivity to people’s lives, and that’s a good thing. We should be happy for doll owners’ happiness! And it’s not just a bunch of “sad, lonely guys” who own them. Lots of women own dolls too. And they’re not all sad and lonely. It’s just like a guy or gal who loves his or her car. We should all be so happy.

    The thing about dolls being able to “take abuse” refers to their durability. They don’t self-heal, you know. Heavy silicone dolls have their own set of problems, like joints becoming floppy and requiring “surgery” – to open up the internal metal skeleton and tighten up nuts and bolts. Finger wires poke through and have to be fixed. Sometimes the silicone tears and has to be glued back with epoxy. They have to be undressed, cleaned, carried about, dressed again, etc. It’s a little like caring for the infirm. There’s a lot of responsibility.

    There’s more to doll ownership than meets the eye. If you want to see what it’s really all about, join The Doll Forum and see for yourself because all this negative, armchair psychology, calling doll ownership/companionship pathological, is absurd. Think through what I’ve said and please don’t fall for the knee-jerk reactions. This is serious. There’s a lot of good to be had here if only you are willing to see it.

  4. I think what strikes me is how this subject polarizes people.  The pursuit of beauty is a part of this, surely.  However, so many men are absolutely wrung out by the emotional damage and legal problems that strike them when involved with a woman of less-than-sterling character.

    I spent too many years married to women that revealed really sinister sides to themselves, and this also happened with a number of girlfriends.  The damage is more than emotional though, because financial disaster is also a real and terrible consequence in many cases.

    This has nothing to do with “absolute control over a woman” as I have seen so many women state.  This is, at the bottom line, a simple and non-destructive means of satisfying a simple need.  Wow, no yelling, no badgering, no monumental expectations like “you will now pay me for the rest of my life!”

    My life has taken three or four bad turns and in every single case, it was a woman with desires for what she did not work for, or the desire to control me.  I am not a financial resource to be exploited.  I am a loving, caring, and intelligent person with simple enough goals.

    This may sound very cynical but for myself and many other people I know (and that is male AND female) this can be a means of short-term gratification with nothing in the way of disease, lawsuit, pregnancy, or mental stress.  Do I have a “love doll”?  No.  But when I am confronted with another whiny, greedy, mental case I start to think that the option looks mighty damn good sometimes.  I’ve pretty much given up on finding a reasonable, intelligent woman.

    So while some of the guys in the documentary strike me as odd or creepy, there is a part of their story that people can identify with.

  5. I think it’s really only a matter of context. There was an interesting social experiment conducted by the Washington Post (see link below) using world-famous violin virtuoso Joshua Bell. Here’s how the paper described him:

    “Three days before he appeared at the Metro station, Bell had filled the house at Boston’s stately Symphony Hall, where merely pretty good seats went for $100. Two weeks later, at the Music Center at Strathmore, in North Bethesda, he would play to a standing-room-only audience so respectful of his artistry that they stifled their coughs until the silence between movements. But on that Friday in January, Joshua Bell was just another mendicant, competing for the attention of busy people on their way to work.”

    “Bell’s a heartthrob. Tall and handsome, he’s got a Donny Osmond-like dose of the cutes. He’s single and straight, a fact not lost on some of his fans. In Boston, as he performed Max Bruch’s dour Violin Concerto in G Minor, the very few young women in the audience nearly disappeared in the deep sea of silver heads. But seemingly every single one of them — a distillate of the young and pretty — coalesced at the stage door after the performance, seeking an autograph. It’s like that always, with Bell.”

    Ok, so that being said, here’s the experiment:

    Bell was asked if he’d be willing to don street clothes and perform at rush hour. He played a Stradivarius violin built in 1713 worth millions of dollars. Bell played some of the world’s most difficult and beautiful violin solos with symphonic perfection. The result? “In the three-quarters of an hour that Joshua Bell played, seven people stopped what they were doing to hang around and take in the performance, at least for a minute. Twenty-seven gave money, most of them on the run — for a total of $32 and change. That leaves the 1,070 people who hurried by, oblivious, many only three feet away, few even turning to look.”

    If you think back on the documentary, imagine Davecat is a famous rapper or the lead singer in a hair metal band. Think of Everhard as having just completed an interview for the BBC about a new hang gliding DVD. What if the guy in Texas with eight dolls was actually a real estate expert doing soundbites for CNN? And in each case you didn’t know about the dolls? Now how odd or creepy are they? They suddenly cease to be, when you place them into a different context. Just like Joshua Bell. People didn’t pay attention because he was just a “street musician”. Was his music somehow not as good because he wasn’t at Carnegie Hall just then? No, of course not. What if Joshua Bell had posed a fully dressed doll in a wheelchair to listen to him (the setup for the movie “Lars and the Real Girl”)? Would that make him creepy? Why? His music would be the same.

    My observation is that some people think it’s creepy to own a life size doll, and therefore assume the owners must be creepy. This is very similar to clown phobia. Will the clowns eat you in your sleep? No, of course not. Likewise, there is no reason to fear the dolls or the people who own them. It’s not creepy, it’s just unusual, and people do fear things that they don’t understand. We need to get past this as a society.


  6. [...] video above (h/t Feministing), check out the following post from the Funky Brown Chick archives: Guys and Dolls: A Real Documentary about Life-Size Sex Toys. AKPC_IDS += [...]

  7. >.<  I couldn’t keep watching after the 5m 36second mark.

    The problem that stopped me, wasn’t the doll, wasn’t the fact that it was realistic looking, wasn’t the fact that you could have sex with it, it was the apparent sense of humanizing a sex toy.

    I’m a guy who does want one of these, but I see it as a toy, not something you make a relationship with.  Yeah, they look great, yeah it will be easier to play around with it then a real human female.  No, I’m not going to treat it like a person.

    It doesn’t think, it doesn’t move on its own, it doesn’t have a lot of things. 

    If I want a relationship, it will be with a real person capable of responding with their own minds and views on life.  If I want sex plan and simple, then why bother someone for it?  If women want only sex from me, they can go buy a dildo or the male version of those realdolls.  Besides, I don’t want a relationship with the kind of woman that is just going to use my sexuality as a leveraging tool to manipulate me, thinking in that equally sexist stereotype of “all men want is sex” Bull****.  And finding women that are sexist like that, seems quite difficult, and makes me question if it isn’t women them selves that want us to only crave sex from them, so they can manipulate men through sexual means. 

    Plain and simple, it is an expensive sex toy, nothing more.
    If your a woman who finds those dolls offensive or threatening, then perhaps the real problem is how you treat relationships with men in the first place.

  8. Hi Transparent,

    I understand how you feel about not making a relationship with your doll.

    One aspect of this reaction is a corollary of the principle known as the “uncanny valley”, in which there is a spectrum of acceptance by humans of non-human, human-looking figures. The principle suggests that some people experience resistance to accepting a very human-like non-human figure because of the “uncanny” resemblance to real people. This is based on simply looking at pictures or watching a movie or anime, not experience with a physical doll. Right now, you are reacting to the pictures in the video. Owning a doll is a different experience.

    An aspect men experience early in life is the discouragement of male children to play with dolls. I didn’t see how this aspect was impacting my own thought processes until I watched “Lars and the Real Girl”. That movie introduced me to the world of full-size realistic dolls and I began searching for more information about them, which is how I originally found The Doll Forum (click on “Reality Check” to visit). That’s where I discovered an entire community devoted to all aspects of doll ownership, companionship, and yes, just plain sex.

    Many doll owners discovered after they took delivery of their new “sex toy” that it was much more than “just” a toy, and realized the doll invoked feelings of love and joy that they didn’t think could come from a doll. It might change your mind too. You won’t know for sure until you own one.

  9. lamesabassman… where can I buy one of those? :)

  10. Most of the men who have Real Dolls, or at least those featured in this documentary seemed to have problems beside the fact that they’re attaching to inannimate objects. They all have trouble connecting to real people, or letting go of real people. They’re shy and introverted, or have experienced some kind of human loss.
    I don’t think it’s neccesarily bad that they’re attaching to Real Dolls instead of true human companionship, but I don’t think it’s healthy. Most of them seem to completely withdraw from true human companionship. Humans are biologically social creatures. Even those who are shy or introverted get lonely and need companionship, even if it isn’t the form of large groups or more than one or two people. I think it’s sad that these men don’t have that. I feel a bit sorry for them.

  11. You want to judge some of these guys getting a doll. Consider the following first

    Why would a man want to marry a ‘real’ woman when there is a greater than 50% chance of getting divorced, losing just about everything you worked for, get denied access to your children and have your pay garnished at an exorbitant rate by child support agencies.
    Instead of do gooders putting effort into blind sided social engineering we should be working on brining back traditional values, then you may find that this whole bot/doll thing will not be an issue.

  12. Let’s see now…    with a doll there is:
    – no VD, no herpes, no aids.
    – no blackmailing that if you don’t pay her, she will call the cops and say you raped her.
    – no marrying you so she can steal your house in a divorce and pay her alimony.
    – no constant put downs and mocking.
    – no dumping all her life’s frustrations on the poor guy.
    – no mind control games.
    – no tatoos and piercings to gross you out.
    – no monthly PMS fits of rage.
    – no calling the cops to have you hauled away to jail on false charges while she moves in her boyfriends in your house.

  13. There are as many owners and reasons for owning these dolls as there are for cars. Within the demographic of doll owners there are married, single, doctors, authors, unemployed, minimum wage earners, those with social disorders, and those with strong libidos, couples where dolls compensate for unbalanced libidos, caused by an illness, disability. There are those that have them for fantasy play, photography, cuddling . There are also male dolls which are predominantely owned by males and also a small percentage of females owning female dolls. The percentage of  “Lars” type personalities amongst this group extremely low. Most have peaceful loving non-violent personalities.
    Most doll owners do desire to have relationships with human companions. Only in rare cases would the dolls actually hinder an owner’s ability or desire to seek human companionship, and in many cases reduce anxiety by helping to reduce sexual frustration or as one owner, a middle aged doctor stated, “allow me to get the sex out of the way so when I go out on a date, sex isn’t foremost on my mind. I can concentrate more on the interaction and social compatibility.”


  14. When women stop seeing men as an ABM cash machine, we will be on an equal footing.

  15. Women aren’t any better, they have erotic relationships with their shoe collection.

  16. The female equivalent is those weird cat ladies.
    Some sleep with their dog and cats ! now that’s sick !

  17. I watched the documentary last night and found it fascinating too. As a single female with her own strategies for satisfying social and sexual loneliness, I sometimes wonder about the variety of solutions my male counterparts come up with to help themselves in this area.  I had plenty of reactions to and observations about the film but I’ll narrow it down to this: three of the men seemed motivated strongly, and pragmatically, to avoid emotional hurt and one (the fellow with eight dolls) seemed, primarily, to not want to have to “ask permission,” gulp, if he suddenly felt the desire to fuck at three in the morning. At the end of the film, this impression stayed with me: men and women are WAY different. I can’t imagine feeling satisfied with the company of such a passive toy; sure, it would be exciting to see it react to my touch, but I would lose interest in having sex with something that could not put its arms around me, or move independently of my movements. Jude Law as the sex-bot in AI, though — he’d do.

  18. :Jude Law as the sex-bot in AI, though — he’d do.
    Well Emily, you only have to wait another 20-40 years for that.
    What this 1st generation of dolls/pseudo-bots are doing is setting the stage for that eventual reality where for the most part, men and women will be basically autonomous and not be needing actual human companionship for their basic needs fulfillment.
    From today’s pov, it might seem a little strange but I think that it’s where we’re headed. People’s relationships will be more business-like and platonic. ‘Bots will sort of satisfy the primal needs while other human beings will be the more intellectual sounding boards.

  19. Mannequins are similar to the dolls in that they resemble humans. Some people have them around just to talk to because they are lonely.  Michael Jackson had some mannequins at his house back in the 80’s.

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