Guys and Dolls: A Real Documentary about Life-Size Sex Toys
Ah, sex toys for men. I’d never heard of “real dolls” until I saw the trailer and clips for the movie Lars and the Real Girl starring Ryan Gosling. I remember thinking, “What a stupid and 100% completely unbelievable movie. Who the hell would keep a life-size sex doll / mannequin girlfriend?” Besides, didn’t that shit go out of style way back in the 1980s when Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall screwed around in the movie Mannequin. Yet, still, I was intrigued. Who am I if I’m not a woman who’s willing to learn new things? I dug around on the internet to do a bit of research, and I even checked out a real doll manfacturer’s site [NSFW]. And, then I forgot about real dolls for while. I tucked them away with the rest of the random trivial things that get injected in my brain throughout the days, weeks, years.
Thoughts of the plastic girls came charging back into my life when someone (can’t remember who) on my Twitter feed posted a link to a documentary called Guys and Dolls. It’s a documentary about, you guessed it, real dolls. I sat down in front of my laptop, clicked the link and watched the whole thing. Absolutely fascinating. If you can, I highly suggest you watch the whole thing too. It’s worth it. Here’s a film synopsis from The Documentary Blog (via The Current Outlook via The DigiGuide): “Documentary about the men who use sophisticated life-size dolls for sexual satisfaction and more – such as dates, affection and lifelong companionship. Featuring a young American man who gives his doll daily massages in the home he shares with his disapproving Mum and Dad; a British man who takes his doll out on day trips to the coast where she watches him hang- glide; and two Americans who live with multiple dolls, one of whom shares his eight synthetic lovers with his human girlfriend.”
See, I told you: fascinating. I started googling real dolls after I saw the flick above. It turns out the girls have been around since, well, roughly right after the movie Mannequin came out. Oooh, who’d a thunk it? Sex and the City’s Samantha Jones was the original real doll! Wanna know more about real dolls? Time magazine did an article about real dolls about six or so years ago. Salon, Boing Boing (a site with a editor who really likes black people at SXSW … sorry, inside joke!) and others have all written about the chicas plasitcas as well. And, of course, there’s a Wikipedia page. Whaddya think, dear readers? Feel free to express your views. Are real dolls totally normal sex toys for men who don’t have girlfriends, or are the collections crazy, fucked up creepy habits for sociopaths?
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:28 am
bad enough some ladies are so plastic to begin with…..that you gotta keep them
separated…..
take them as they come…. and have them come when taken
and the cream will always rise to the top….
lamesabassman…. whatever gets you thru the night….
April 2nd, 2008 at 11:27 am
DUDE!!!! I just watched that entire thing (in segments)! This topic IS fascinating! Whereas I viewed Davecat as creepy, I simply viewed Mike (poor guy got DUMPED!) as a pervert. I thought the british man was very sad, as well as the dude who claims he has dolls because he’s ugly and can’t get a real woman. *sigh* This is a world I will never quite understand, even while I respect their need for companionship (however LAZY it may seem). WOW.
Food for thought on that one! DAMN! haha!
April 2nd, 2008 at 11:32 am
I heard about these dolls from one of those late-nght HBO sex shows many years ago. My thought at the time was: “These are creepy and disturbing. They’re gonna make somebody rich.” I’ll bet they made somebody rich. Who makes these things? Are they rich?
April 2nd, 2008 at 12:01 pm
They featured one such doll on the TV version of the Howard Stern show that used to play on E!. It was probably 4 or 5 years ago. But yea, this thing looked like a wax sculpture from Madam Toussaud’s, weighed over 100 pounds, fully poseable and detailed. The price, around $2,000!
April 2nd, 2008 at 3:42 pm
What about the women?
No Johnny Depp dolls?
April 2nd, 2008 at 7:01 pm
@ lamesabassman: :)
@ AmyD: I totally agree with you — particularly about the guy who was like, “I’m ugly, so this is all I can get.” Sad. :|
@ Baba Doodlius: Yeah, I’m late to the game on this one. Real dolls have been around for a while, but I didn’t really pay much attention until this doc. I was totally fascinated. Who makes these things? Abyss Creations. I’m not sure if they’re rich, but they’ve gotten be doing pretty well given the growing interest.
@ Aka “Paul”: Crazy money for a doll, right?
@ Desiree: The have male real dolls, too!! :) Seeee. [NSFW]
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:45 pm
What I find creepy is the dolls that have no head, arms or legs. What sicko wants to be doing it to a dismembered body? That’s a sick puppy!
April 2nd, 2008 at 11:44 pm
I was surprised by the male dolls since I was all set to make a comment about the difference between men’s toys and women’s toys. But there you go spoiling my message..Still, I suspect there will never be a movie about a woman with a male doll companion. The equivalent to a male companion will be much more utilitarian, a vibrator rather than a date. A private pleasure rather than a social one.Females will be more assured of their public pleasures.
April 3rd, 2008 at 6:50 am
Phoena: I wonder if they’re buying those because they want dismembered bodies or is it just an income thing. Those dolls might be cheaper than the others.
don: You’re right! ;) I totally read your mind immediately before you wrote your message, and maliciously I thought: “I’m gonna fuck this up for him right now. VOILA!!! See, Mr. Donny, there are MALE dolls too!! Take that.” :)
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:27 am
Humankind has always gone to far lengths to possess beauty, if not in natural form, then a reasonable facimile. How many people have fantasized about a picture of Britney Spears, or wished they could have sex with someone come to life from a painting (a la Pygmalion and Galatea, the myth that the movie Mannequin was based on)? I do think, however, it’s a little self-indulgent and to give such an internal life to an inanimate object when there are real live people out there in need of affection and stimulation. It seems like another manifestation of our society’s obsession with a very narrow standard of what is beautiful and sexy, and the idea that we are each entitled to possess it, free of personality or soul.
I don’t find the phenomenon that creepy, though. These people are participating in a safe form of fantasy that seems to not be focused on the harm of other human beings. It seems far less creepy than the average male’s obsession with young girls in schoolgirl outfits. These guys (and women) aren’t abducting young girls and torturing them in some basement dungeon. They’re just playing with dolls. And themselves.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:28 am
did you know that they have real sex machines …. for women…. and I guess a
few thrill-seeking guys….. some dude in San Fran make them….. saw it on a HBO
sex show….. and all the ladies had BIG SMILES on their radiant faces ….
since these “toys” plug into a wall socket, it would be safe to say that they all
come with Honda generators …. in case of a power failure that is…..
something like that can make a fella soooo not needed….. and all the little blue
pills in the world cannot compete with that kind of action……
lamesabassman…….. on your mark…. get set…… whoa nellie…..
April 6th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
# Christopher: What an absolutely beautiful opening to your comment, “Humankind has always gone to far lengths to possess beauty, if not in natural form, then a reasonable facimile.” What’s more? You followed it with an absolutely brilliant response / reaction to real dolls. You’re great.
# lamesabassman: Oh yeah, the whole “sex with robots” stuff is huge. Haven’t tried it, but I know people who have.
April 7th, 2008 at 2:35 am
wow…. gives new meaning to the phrase ” Leaving one breathless” …. whatever
happen to one -on- one….. looking into each others eyes….. flying kites on the
beach….. rollercoaster rides…. go kart racing or bowling….. or something that
ended an evening on such a high note that is would cowtip a NASA comsat disk
in deep space…. does anybody really know what time it is….. and do we care
anymore……. what corner did I turn to find that love does live here anymore….
it’s out there…… just waitin’……layin’ in the cut….waitin’ on you….. to try love on
again……
lamesabassman…….. ” ….. breathless….”
April 7th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
FBC: Aww, thanks FBC!
April 7th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
lamesabassman: :)
Christopher: No prob, babes.
April 8th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Yeah, so I don’t have a whole lot of rules but my non-negotiable number one is:
I don’t fuck it if it don’t fuck back.
This applies to humans as well.
April 9th, 2008 at 7:34 am
:)
April 9th, 2008 at 9:24 am
gee, grandpa…. I guess going with you to the San Diego Zoo is out….
lamesabassman……. party on, dude
April 9th, 2008 at 9:26 am
but….. if you hold your breath for a while…. Shamu’s lonely…..
lamesabassman……. smile, it’s only rock ‘n’ roll…….
May 3rd, 2008 at 12:11 am
whoa, like whoa. Hey, FBC, I caught you on WineLibraryTV, I’ve been an watcher for a couple of years now. So I decided to check out your blog and holy shit I found this vid on real dolls. I found out about real dolls YEARS ago, probably almost 10 yrs ago, when they were first being created. But like you, I filed it away in memory. Then I see this. What an interesting story on how men live with these things. Some realizing its just about “high masturbation” as one guy called it, and some… er, like the guy who said “dating organic women is pointless” … whoa. like I said before, whoa. This vid alone could generate hours of discussion.
But I’m with Christopher~ While some of these guys might be a little warped, they are engaging in something ’safe’ something that doesn’t involve hurting other human beings; they are role playing with dolls. Let ‘em have it.
May 6th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
DOLLS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO EXIST BECAUSE WOMEN AND NOT “WOMEN” – THEY ARE HUMAN. “WOMEN” IS AN IDEALIZATION BY MEN HOWEVER IN REAL LIFE WOMEN LIVE IN THE SAME REAL WORLD ; YET CAN ILLUSION MEN PERHAPS WITH PLASTIC SURGERY. THAT IS WOMEN ARE NOT THAT GREAT WITHOUT THEIR MAKEUP. AT THE MOST WOMEN ARE JUST A DIFFERENT TYPE OF A FRIEND.
May 7th, 2008 at 6:38 am
@ lamesabassman: Rock n roll is good.
@ malarkey: Thanks for watching me on WineLibrary TV. Gray rocks!!! And, yeah, I totally agree with you (and Christopher) about the real dolls!
@ REAL WOMEN: It feels good to go bare face (without makeup). :)
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:54 pm
I stumbled upon this site looking for a new sex toy for my boyfriend and I. I consider myself open minded but I have to admit that in watching the first half of this I was sorta freaked out. On the other hand by the end I felt I could understand why some men would choose this as their man source of companionships. The problem isn’t that these men use dolls for sex and companionship, but that the majority have completely given up on finding a real women for real relationships. As twenty-five year old women, healthy attractive female I was blown away by the expectations these men thought most women had. The majority of nice single women I know aren’t anymore judgmental that anyone else. I am one of many women that can find anyone attractive depending on their personality. It seems like the guys that have given up on finding a real women have either been extremely hurt by past relationships or women. Or maybe in the case of the European man, maybe can’t stand to lose someone again he did lose his mother. Or like Steave Cat, is way to judgmental himself to really ever feel comfortable with someone, (and I’m not just talking about the judging of ones looks). As for just sex like that Mike guy, I think it’s hot and I would even like to use one for a threesome with my boyfriend. He acted like I was crazy, but he usually says that about my ideas until he I get him to try it . My Question, are their any bi-curious, bi-sexual, or lesbian women out there that has played with one of these dolls.
June 3rd, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Right there with you on the “trying to be openminded stuff.” At first, I was like, “Wait … this is the same plastic fun as using a vibrator. But, the more I watched it, I was like … “Um, okay, no it’s ont.”
And, yeah, you’re on to something with “[t]he problem isn’t that these men use dolls for sex and companionship, but that the majority have completely given up on finding a real women for real relationships” stuff.
BTW, sorry, I can’t help you with your question. I’ve never tried out the dolls. :(
July 6th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Favorite quote for the day “I’m running out of vaginas”. *lol* Anyway thanks for posting the link on your twit. :)
Although I’ve seen numerous articles and the hbo special about sex dolls, the above short docu offered a more human prospective. I can’t sign off these men as simply one dimensional creepy and strange guys. What they’re feeling is pretty universal – we all desire someone/thing that makes us feel that we matter or simply companions who “get us”. Even for the most recluse, I think we were not built to be alone. Yes, we all know that at the basic level..the appeal of the dolls can be instant sexual gratification without the work but I think the dolls are key props in a controlled environment for these men. The wonderful and sometimes frustrating thing with human relationships is that it’s always dynamic and constantly changing. People will stay, leave, like you, not like you,will never have exact combination of qualities that you desire in a mate, will be great in bed/not etc. Most of the time we have no control on the outcome of most things in life with the exception of our reactions and how we choose to act. This is natural but I think sometimes people have a hard time adapting. Some may choose to give up fighting these changes at certain periods in life and opt for excessive collection of things(i.g. pack rats), extreme solitude, living in the past, playing with dolls etc to give them some comfort.
I don’t see myself dry humping or much less paying a few thousand for a live sex doll in the future….but I think that I can understand a little.
July 6th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
opps meant to say “perspective”. Sorry for the crazy writing.
July 7th, 2008 at 1:29 am
THANKS for the well thought out comment. And, fret not about the crazy writing. I do that a lot! :)
Yeah, I REALLY liked this doc too. The filmmakers really captured the guys’ humanity. They took us inside their minds without making the guys out to look like total freaks or oddballs.
August 27th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
I wanted to have a screening of this at my apartment for my friends on our Wine and Movie night. Do you know if it is possible to get this doc on DVD anywhere?
August 28th, 2008 at 9:35 am
Not sure, but I don’t think so. :(
September 5th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
CANT BLIEVE DIS ACTUALLY GOES ON,PERHAPS ITS JUST SUM ENTERTAINING BULLSHIT TO LEAVE US ALL SPEECHLESS,DISTRACTED AND TALKING ABOUT UN-IMPORTANT THINGS RATHER THAN CONSENTRATING ON MORE IMPORTANT ISSUES LIKE WHY WE ARE ACTUALLY AT WAR DYING OF CANCERS AIDS STARVING NOT PROPERLY EDUCATING OUR SELFS OR OUR CHILDREN OR TAKING ANY INTEREST IN HOW OUR COUNTRY’S ARE RUN UNDER A PCARDE OR DEMOCRACY. I KNOW ID RATHER SAY ALLO TO MR PALMER THAN SHAG A DOLL ANY DAY.
September 5th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Mr. Palmer is a good man.
October 9th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
It’s a hard question. Would these people be happier and able to form real relationships without their dolls or would they just be worse off.
Some of them taken the doll way beyond a sexual relationship. Something I find hard to imagine. On the other hand I suspect a writer could find himself in a similar situation. You create a fictional character and might even start having emotions to your own creation.
I don’t find these people are sick, I find they are very human and even intelliget, I just hope it wont hold them back from connecting with real people.
Ok, maybe I find the part about being burried with the dolls a bit scary (futuristic horror?).
October 26th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
I think the problem is that most people have a hard time relating to or understanding the depth and extent of the loneliness these men feel.
Even as a healthy 21 yr old male, I have this dreadful feeling that I will end up as one of those sad characters, unable to have a relationship with anything more than a sex doll. Truth is, there are people out there who have a hard time relating to anybody, whether it’s because of abandonment issues or mother issues or whatever.
I’m just saying don’t judge, because you don’t know how you would react if you found yourself middle-aged and alone.
November 7th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
I’d like to get a doll so I can drive in the HOV lanes and cut down my commute time to work!
Seriously though, I thought the documentary was very well done. If these men are happy and not hurting anyone, live and let live.
November 8th, 2008 at 3:15 am
Mostly women, in general, (not saying all women) do end up with a guy based on his social class. (this can be in terms of income or status within the community) Women want to be pampered, and want the “good life”. Men for the most part do want the good life, but are more logical in their approach. There is a line from “As Good As It Gets” : “How do you write women so well? I think of a man and I take out reason and accountability.” Pretty much true, (note: I am not saying all women but most fit this mold) Most men stick to their women based on their family ties. Now, to say a guy is “sad” or “sick” just because of what they choose to “screw”, is just asinine. It’s the equivalent to calling Obama an “uncle tom”. Or women, “hos”, etc. It’s sad to see that women have labled men “pigs” but who were the ones that primarily raised men? WOMEN. So who the heck is at fault for how men nowadays treating women? I’ll leave that question to be answered by yourselves. The reason these men have chosen to live this way is due to the fact women are so selfish/concided in todays world that the mere thought of having a relationship with a woman takes more effort than its worth. This is the main reason men seek out prostitutes. At least with a prostitute we men get some satisfaction out of the deed, and do not have to risk our sanity on some bi-polar crackpot. There is a song by The Offspring that sums it up: (more like several) “She’s Got Issues” and “Why don’t you get a Job”. Most women down in the southern states don’t work and only hold a job if they are single and have a kids. Usually those women make the best employees, they work harder and longer than women without kids and are “fancy free”. Maybe I’m a bit bitter about the whole “Ladies night” bar phenomenon, and the way women “cater to the male ego” and satifiying their shopoholic syndroms. Women seem to need men more than men needing them. Last I looked the USA is still a male dominated culture, no matter how you look at the French Revolution after many Women’s Studies courses.
For me and to every guy who has been screwed over by a female.. Screw em we don’t need their emotional crap anymore!
Peace!
November 11th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Have you ever seen the movie Lars and the Real Girl?
a good movie I would have to say.
and that Ryan Gosling boy is fine as HELL!
November 17th, 2008 at 1:53 am
“Humankind has always gone to far lengths to possess beauty, if not in natural form, then a reasonable facimile.”
One of the best descriptions of a thought I have ever seen!
Helen of Troy and Cleopatra, Both living women who were lusted after and lost due to a man’s ‘want’ to acquire what others posessed. True Love!
Aphrodite, Hera, Cythera…… ALL were godesses made up for a human mans longings and prayers. To posess True Love if not in mind then in their heart.
The people shown in this documentary are lacking what most of us have….
A human touch. A soft voice. Physical Contact. Humans were meant to be touched, talked to, listened to…… Why do we have skin if not to be touched? Why ears if we have no one talking to us? Why vocal cords if no one to talk to?
(I know…. I’m not talking about evolution here.. I’m talking about “mental” evolution)
We have not evolved past the basic food, water, shelter insticts…… The instinct to interact with another being is still there. These people have found another way, a rather sad way, of keeping to themselves, through their ‘RealDolls’, a part of society they seem to have lost by no fault of their own and living a more-or-less ‘normal’ life!
December 6th, 2008 at 3:25 am
I consider myself a good looking guy and I don’t really have problems getting dates. The problem is, I’m a pervert and all I care about is sex… I’ve actually had several good looking girlfriends in my life time, but I always seem to mess it up some way somehow…
Once I had a girl who was like a super model… She was 5′9″, slender and had the most gorgeous face you could ever imagine. The problem with her? Her tits weren’t big enough for me when I was in the mood for a titty fuck.
Next I had a really attractive girl who was bi-sexual and didn’t mind the idea of having a real doll that looked like Betty Paige. She was a fetish model and had fairly large tits (enough to get my cock in betweent). She wasn’t really that pretty, but was well above average. Stupid me, I lost her over after 6 months; it would have been a great relationship…
Next girl… D-cups, a cute face, but her body was covered in freckles and moles… Not as good as my other two flawless exes.
Then there was this married woman that I had sex with too; man was she something! Too bad she wasn’t single…
Then there was a woman with a great body, nice tits and a pretty face, but… she had a kid; now I’m not ready to deal with kids…
Every girl after that was more or less a one night stand without the sex… I’m so horny sometimes, I just rush into things without even knowing about it. That’s probably one of the reasons why I can’t find a girl; I’m way too picky.
All except the first girl; she was the only one I ever loved, but she too was already married at the time… My love with her was the most innocent type of love ever. In spite of how much I wanted to have sex with her, I didn’t. I remained pure and uncorrupted. I thought I could win, but I didn’t. After I met her, was when I lost my soul…
Now… I’ve recently ordered a doll for myself in order to satisfy my sexual appetite. Since I don’t have a soul, I can easily have sex with a doll. I have discovered that I am such a dark and sinister person that perhaps I do not deserve a real woman… At least people like me are kept sexually satisfied. I just wish that I could be emotionally satisfied at the same time.
That’s just me though, I’m a cynic and I’m also too self centered to be in a relationship because all I ever do is take. Believe me, I am trying to change, and every day I pray that I will be a better person, but I’m slipping and I’m falling… Once you take the path of darkness, there is no turning back. The only way you can keep from hurting someone is to find other alternatives…
Sometimes I just wish I wasn’t so cursed in love…
December 15th, 2008 at 3:20 am
[...] will say, “It’s all the same though! We still have homes, and friends, and food, and lovers, and culture, and lives. The world is essentially the same, just with more possibilities.” I [...]
December 17th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
So what do ya’ll think about these things for soldiers deployed away from loved ones?
December 29th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
I think many of these posts fail to acknowledge that “harm” can occur in a variety of forms and are certainly not confined to mere physical brutality. Even if one man’s covert masturbation with some (MAN-made) female doll doesn’t literally harm anyone, doesn’t it perpetuate (in his mind) the idea that a good woman is a passive instrument, little more than a means of fulfilling his own adolescent desires? Doesn’t it perpetuate the idea that the “problem” with real women is that they have their own minds and their own desires? Doesn’t it also perpetuate the impossible and male-contrived standards of beauty that drive women to starve themselves, induce themselves to vomit up their meals, and otherwise hate themselves?
Don’t these dolls perpetuate the idea that what’s important about women is that they are completely, utterly responsive to male will and desire, and that their own minds and subjectivities are simply dispensible burdens that, in an ideal world, wouldn’t exist at all?
One part of the documentary that I found particularly disturbing was when the toy repair-guy said that these dolls were made to endure “all kinds of abuse.” You might argue that abuse to a doll is better than abuse to an actual human, but I think the assumption guiding many of these men’s actions is that what makes these dolls so desirable is precisely their ability to abuse them if they want to. Why bother with women who have minds when they can fuck dolls who embody all that’s important about women: their bodies.
I agree with granpa: sex is consensual and relies on the agency of all participating parties. Something’s fucked up (pun intended) when female agency get’s subtracted out of what’s important in sex.
January 26th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Howard Stern raved it was The Best SEX I’ve ever had!” Why wouldn’t you want the best sex of your life with your fantasy girl? While it is true most of the JennoMates sell over 6K. Look at the Realdoll website, but if you want to know where to buy them for $2,700? Call Keith at 512.739.5902
January 29th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
i think these guys are sickos! bunch of losers with no life!!!
haha the reason they dont have girl friends is because they want to treat a woman like a sex slave object.
well good, because we dont need good woman wasting time on these creeps
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:16 am
I think it’s great; especially for guys who don’t know if they’re gay, bi, or straight. They can have sex without the fear of disease or getting anyone pregnant. There is no need to worry about a long- term relationship; no emotional baggage. The next best thing would be a robot so that you could completely fake it in public.
April 18th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
FBC – This was the most interesting hour of television. Love your blog. FYI, I'm Karen McR's friend from Chicago. I love that crazy lady! -Mary
April 26th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Fantasy is a huge part of sexuality for both men and women. One could argue that the descriptions of men in ‘bodice-ripper’ romance novels perpetuate stereotypes of romantic behavior in men- some for the better, some for the worse, but I think a big question is, how far does fantasy go in shaping our expectations of real life. A man who fantasizes about one activity/fetish or another probably does so with the desire that his partner will engage in those acts with him at some point. If she(or he) is uncomfortable with, not interested in or actually opposed to his proposed activity, then conflict will likely be generated, as either one partner will be uncomfortable or one (or both!) will feel unfulfilled. Women seem to suffer from the same malady in a different form, as there seems to be a much greater premium for women on romance and intimacy which men generally have difficulty providing.
For men with an appearance fetish (the disturbingly large breasts of the Texan man’s dolls) or an activity fetish, having the doll may be a way to indulge that fantasy desire without subjecting a human woman to unrealistic demands. ‘morally questionable’ elucidates this objection- one used often against pornography- that unrealistic fantasy warps one’s expectations of reality and causes conflict in real relationships. If a man can satisfy some ‘unrealistic’ desire with a doll and still have a healthy human-human relationship isn’t that better?, and is it equivalent to a woman reading unrealistic (or at least uncommon) portrayals of men in romance novels? This brings up the question of whether or not the fantasy he has is innate within him or is developed or externally imposed. I would argue that many people with desires outside the (fairly narrow) sexual mainstream would be happier if they didn’t have deep desires for activities that their partners might not be into. This conflict is rife in our society- look at both the preponderance of bondage imagery in our media and the general discomfort with people who openly talk about practicing bondage.
The men portrayed in the film all use their dolls as replacements for relationships with actual women. I’m sure there are many (perhaps most) men who use the dolls for the eloquently phrased ‘high masturbation’, in which case shouldn’t the dolls be allowed to look any way the man wants? Does the addition of an emotional attachment that replaces human-human interaction constitute pathology? While I understand the attractiveness of having a realistic artificial sex partner that provides very real sexual satisfaction without the demands attendent to fucking another actual human being (e.g. it is safe- emotionally and physically, easy and physically satisfying), I do believe that the development of an emotional attachment to the exclusion of real human-human relationships is pathological. Even so, I would find a documentary of women who return again and again to an abusive partner just as, if not more, disturbing.
Drew raises an excellent question we will have to face, and fairly soon given the recent developments in Japanese robotic technology, is what will we do when the dolls can interact? If a woman could purchase a made to order partner with the exact physical, and more importantly to women, I suspect, the high level of emotional intamacy and romantic behavior about which she fantasizes, would there be a huge demand? Are men and women inherently different this way? What will society make of human-interactive robot relationships- especially if the non-human partner is, someday, semi-autonomous and intelligent? (Drew, I specifically say semi-autonomous becuase if the non-human partner were fully autonomous there wouldn’t really be an advantage over any other relationship, would there?) The corollary question, as proposed by Dan Savage of Savage Love fame is, what about human-doll/robot relationships where the non-human is in the form that would be objectional or abhorrent in ‘real life’. Is fucking an animal shaped doll wrong? Is a grown man molesting a child shaped doll as abhorrent as actual pedophilia? If you think yes, but you could know that the pedophile would never harm an actual child as a result of his ‘relationship’, would it still be bad? (For the record I am absolutely, one hundred percent against pedophelia and all other forms of non-consensual sex.)
In closing, for anyone who has managed to plow through this dense pondering, I believe that the dolls as (very) expensive masturbation toys is fine (hell, I want one… my wife could use the rest!), but once it crosses the line to nonreactive emotional partner, things become troublesome. ‘morally questionable’ has a strong negative reaction, but doesn’t necesarily recognize that unrealistic expectations are inherent in every relationship, and that our society (which I believe is largely based on a capitalist driven need to convince us that we are unhappy unless we are buying the newest, latest, greatest), doesn’t do much to promote the honest communication and open-minded expectation that is an essential element of happy relationships.
P.S.- Please excuse the hetrosexist bent in my comments- the documentary portrayed straight(?) men, and so my comments were oriented from that perspective.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Okay, I have known about real dolls for a while but I just started to look into the matter. I really don’t know why its such a big deal to some people. The only reason I even decided to look up information is because I am writing a book and I am at a lose of words. I have writers block and guess what? I want to buy some dolls to act out my book. Yes I know they are expensive. I don’t care. I am sick of not being able to write. TT.TT I have tons of ideas but I can’t get just one of them usually I can think about which ones would work more for the characters personality but it is really annoying when I can’t get what I want on paper. Well, I dort of got off topic there. Sorry. Anyways I need to find someone who can create three dolls in the likes of my three main characters of my book. So as I was looking I came across this and figured I would reply. I don’t believe the guys should give up on all women just because they have real dolls but then again I am a 19 year old girl without ever having a boyfriend so maybe I shouldn’t say anything. lol
P.S. Sorry that I went off topic a lot. I guess I just can’t get my head on straight when I don’t know much about the topic.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
‘dort’ was supposed to be ’sort’. Sorry about that.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Those dolls are amazing! I could use one, because Im jealous at those people that passes me from the Car Pool lane when commuting to work during rush hour. She can sit on the passenger side look pretty while I can legally drive in the Car Pool lane and no one will notice a thing. He he he he!
July 27th, 2009 at 12:25 am
plz some body send me this documentary ..i m anxious to see this but i m unable to see.plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
September 15th, 2009 at 1:29 am
I watched Lars and the Real Girl, and I know there are guys like Gordon Griggs and Davecat that own Realdolls. But crikey, give the guys a break… the company that makes Realdolls say they have sold over 12,000 of them! When I first read that, I thought man oh man, that’s a lot of unloving women. If you have ever tried to get a date in L.A. you know what I’m talking about… women here are TOTALLY UNLOVING. They have no idea how to treat a man and they deserve to be replaced with a piece of silicone rubber. Remember the words to the Dummy Song by Louis Armstrong? I’ll take de legs from some old table/I’ll take de arms from some old chair/I’ll take de neck from some old bottle/and from a horse I’ll get the hair/gonna take the hands and face from off de clock/and baby when I am thru/I’ll get mo lovin from dat dum-dum-dummy/den I ever got from you!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
I agree with many posters, that as long as it is used a solely a masturbation aid, then it is no worse then women using vibrators. If they idealize it further or use it as a relationship replacement, or worse, then it goes to far.
For a woman to say that a man using this solely as a masturbation aid, as a creep or sicko, then they better not own a vibrator, or they are the same thing. Either you are on the bandwagon as far as using other then human beings to achieve sexual stimulation or not. There shouldn’t be a half way, or it shouldn’t be okay for women to use toys/machines, whatever, and not for guys.
Once again, if the guy is abusing/cutting up/ using the doll for sick fantasies, then lock them up.
Just my opinion.
October 25th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
We live in a sick, overpopulated world, filled with crime, hunger, sewage, death, and grief, but people still need to fulfill their need for love, sex and companionship. We should encourage the use of dolls instead of ridiculing them! Dolls don’t eat, defecate, procreate, pass diseases, or create drama. Those are people problems. As William Orbit said, “It’s time to get wise.”
Men love lots of inanimate things, like cars and boats. Women too. A doll is not so different. It’s the incredible realism of the current generation of dolls that has people disturbed, but there’s no real reason to be frightened of their place in society. A lot of people assume that a doll is the end of a man’s or woman’s relationship with the living. Far from it! Many owners are happily married, or have had relationships with real men/women, buy a doll, then later on, enter into other relationships with men/women. It’s not like it’s the end of the world. But even for those who choose that path, it’s not so bad. The doll will remain good looking forever as long as it is cared for properly. How many people can say that for themselves? None. That’s important in a world that places such a high value on looks. The doll will outlive its owner in that sense.
Dolls have the ability to contribute a great deal of positivity to people’s lives, and that’s a good thing. We should be happy for doll owners’ happiness! And it’s not just a bunch of “sad, lonely guys” who own them. Lots of women own dolls too. And they’re not all sad and lonely. It’s just like a guy or gal who loves his or her car. We should all be so happy.
The thing about dolls being able to “take abuse” refers to their durability. They don’t self-heal, you know. Heavy silicone dolls have their own set of problems, like joints becoming floppy and requiring “surgery” – to open up the internal metal skeleton and tighten up nuts and bolts. Finger wires poke through and have to be fixed. Sometimes the silicone tears and has to be glued back with epoxy. They have to be undressed, cleaned, carried about, dressed again, etc. It’s a little like caring for the infirm. There’s a lot of responsibility.
There’s more to doll ownership than meets the eye. If you want to see what it’s really all about, join The Doll Forum and see for yourself because all this negative, armchair psychology, calling doll ownership/companionship pathological, is absurd. Think through what I’ve said and please don’t fall for the knee-jerk reactions. This is serious. There’s a lot of good to be had here if only you are willing to see it.
November 4th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
I think what strikes me is how this subject polarizes people. The pursuit of beauty is a part of this, surely. However, so many men are absolutely wrung out by the emotional damage and legal problems that strike them when involved with a woman of less-than-sterling character.
I spent too many years married to women that revealed really sinister sides to themselves, and this also happened with a number of girlfriends. The damage is more than emotional though, because financial disaster is also a real and terrible consequence in many cases.
This has nothing to do with “absolute control over a woman” as I have seen so many women state. This is, at the bottom line, a simple and non-destructive means of satisfying a simple need. Wow, no yelling, no badgering, no monumental expectations like “you will now pay me for the rest of my life!”
My life has taken three or four bad turns and in every single case, it was a woman with desires for what she did not work for, or the desire to control me. I am not a financial resource to be exploited. I am a loving, caring, and intelligent person with simple enough goals.
This may sound very cynical but for myself and many other people I know (and that is male AND female) this can be a means of short-term gratification with nothing in the way of disease, lawsuit, pregnancy, or mental stress. Do I have a “love doll”? No. But when I am confronted with another whiny, greedy, mental case I start to think that the option looks mighty damn good sometimes. I’ve pretty much given up on finding a reasonable, intelligent woman.
So while some of the guys in the documentary strike me as odd or creepy, there is a part of their story that people can identify with.
November 4th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
I think it’s really only a matter of context. There was an interesting social experiment conducted by the Washington Post (see link below) using world-famous violin virtuoso Joshua Bell. Here’s how the paper described him:
“Three days before he appeared at the Metro station, Bell had filled the house at Boston’s stately Symphony Hall, where merely pretty good seats went for $100. Two weeks later, at the Music Center at Strathmore, in North Bethesda, he would play to a standing-room-only audience so respectful of his artistry that they stifled their coughs until the silence between movements. But on that Friday in January, Joshua Bell was just another mendicant, competing for the attention of busy people on their way to work.”
“Bell’s a heartthrob. Tall and handsome, he’s got a Donny Osmond-like dose of the cutes. He’s single and straight, a fact not lost on some of his fans. In Boston, as he performed Max Bruch’s dour Violin Concerto in G Minor, the very few young women in the audience nearly disappeared in the deep sea of silver heads. But seemingly every single one of them — a distillate of the young and pretty — coalesced at the stage door after the performance, seeking an autograph. It’s like that always, with Bell.”
Ok, so that being said, here’s the experiment:
Bell was asked if he’d be willing to don street clothes and perform at rush hour. He played a Stradivarius violin built in 1713 worth millions of dollars. Bell played some of the world’s most difficult and beautiful violin solos with symphonic perfection. The result? “In the three-quarters of an hour that Joshua Bell played, seven people stopped what they were doing to hang around and take in the performance, at least for a minute. Twenty-seven gave money, most of them on the run — for a total of $32 and change. That leaves the 1,070 people who hurried by, oblivious, many only three feet away, few even turning to look.”
If you think back on the documentary, imagine Davecat is a famous rapper or the lead singer in a hair metal band. Think of Everhard as having just completed an interview for the BBC about a new hang gliding DVD. What if the guy in Texas with eight dolls was actually a real estate expert doing soundbites for CNN? And in each case you didn’t know about the dolls? Now how odd or creepy are they? They suddenly cease to be, when you place them into a different context. Just like Joshua Bell. People didn’t pay attention because he was just a “street musician”. Was his music somehow not as good because he wasn’t at Carnegie Hall just then? No, of course not. What if Joshua Bell had posed a fully dressed doll in a wheelchair to listen to him (the setup for the movie “Lars and the Real Girl”)? Would that make him creepy? Why? His music would be the same.
My observation is that some people think it’s creepy to own a life size doll, and therefore assume the owners must be creepy. This is very similar to clown phobia. Will the clowns eat you in your sleep? No, of course not. Likewise, there is no reason to fear the dolls or the people who own them. It’s not creepy, it’s just unusual, and people do fear things that they don’t understand. We need to get past this as a society.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html