Twanna A. Hines @ FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com | sex. dating. relationships.

First Ever “Funky Brown Chick Sexy Time Giveaway”

First, THANK YOU and big drippy kisses to everyone who left nice comments, sent personal emails, forwarded me karma on Facebook and (in my friend Pegs’ case) mailed me cookies in response to Friday’s post. I feel like I have the some of the most loyal and compassionate readers on the planet. Although a lot of my friends read FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com, by sheer numbers alone, the majority of the eyeballs reading these words belong to people who don’t know me personally. So, I’m always amazed and impressed by your kindness. Y’all are great. Mama’s got something nice for you! More on that at the end of this post.

Friends, family members, readers and others have all hinted that I’d feel less frustrated about New York if I spent more time valuing the things I’ve accomplished instead of stressing out about the things that I don’t yet have. Maybe everyone’s right. Sometimes I beat myself up and I feel like I’ve failed in the city because life isn’t going exactly as I imagined it would. I forget to remember I’m transitioning to a new career. It’s not like I was a corporate actuary at Allstate Insurance in Illinois and moved to New York to pursue a corporate actuary job at Kaiser Permanente. I’d built a career in politics / international affairs by working for the federal government and in academia. Now I started over with a new career in publishing. It’s gonna take a little time to find my footing. And, given that I live in the country’s largest city and I’ve only been at this for a short while, I have to give myself credit for the strides I’ve made. I’ve been published online and in print. I have a blog dating column over at Nerve. Details about my sex life appear on pages of the newest issue of Glamour magazine (online, see page 3 of the article & view my line graph or check out the mention over at Boinkology). Current TV recently fingered me to take part in a month-long vlog about my sex and dating rendezvous in New York.

I’m clothed, sheltered, not without food and occasionally fucked well. I have a laptop, connections to great editors, and healthy fingers that type. And, not to mention, I have active dating and social lives that include amazing, warm, interesting, caring and supportive friends and lovers. If that’s not success, what is, right? Besides, I’ll send myself to the looney bin with Britney Spears if I spend too much time thinking about all this shit. I’m doing everything I can to ensure a stable income flow when my current contract runs out. That’s all I can do. So, enough about me. Let’s get back to you. As I mentioned earlier, I sincerely appreciate everyone’s support. I wanna give something back. Karma, baby. Karma! You take from the world exactly what you put into it, right? So, in the first ever “Funky Brown Chick Sexy Time Giveaway,” I have four FREE titillating gifts that I hope will bring pleasure to the lives of my sweet little readers.

HOW TO PLAY: Use your memory, the search function on my site or my archives to answer the questions below. Post your responses in the comment section or, if you prefer, email the answers to me at funkybrownchick@yahoo.com. To keep it fair for everyone and not just the early birds, I’ll randomly select giveaway recipients from the person(s) who get the answers right. You don’t have to answer all the questions, just the ones you want. Disclaimer: I’m just a chick with a blog handing out random personal belongings to my readers. No one’s paying me to promote this stuff.

FREE POLE DANCING LESSON. Ladies, if you’ve ever wanted to try pole dancing, this is your chance! I’m speaking at Sex 2.0 down in Atlanta this weekend, and I have a ticket for their fun event taking place from 9pm-10:30pm on Friday, April 11th. You have to be an 18+ woman who lives in or will be visiting Atlanta this Friday to take advantage of the pole dancing lesson. If you have more questions about the specifics of the event, please contact the conference organizer Amber Rhea. Now, answer the following question to get the ticket: Yee-haw! Born in the Midwest, in which southern state did I spend a huge chunk of my childhood?

FREE COPY OF LUST IN TRANSLATION. Are you curious to know how Americans’ views about adultery stack up against cheating couples in other countries? Are we more or less likely to cheat? This well-written book by Pamela Druckerman tells you everything you ever wanted to know. I interviewed her, and a guest post / book blurb will appear on FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com (or Nerve) in the weeks ahead. I’ve got an extra copy of her book. Wanna read it before the fun begins? Get this one right and you’ll score your own copy: I’ve traveled throughout the UK and Europe, but I’ve only held longterm residence in two countries over there. Name them.

FREE COPY OF THE NOT SO INVISIBLE WOMAN. Notice a trend here? I read. A lot. So, I’ve got tons and tons of books. I met London-dwelling author Suzanne Portnoy at a party in Manhattan a couple months ago. She’s giving a reading at Rachel Kramer Bussel’s amazing erotic reading series, In the Flesh, next Thursday. I have an extra copy of her book, too, so I’ll ask her to scribble in it for you. I’ll give it — either signed or unsigned — to the person to answers this question correctly (or comes up with the closest guess): On the FBC, I’ve been blogging about my dates since June 2005. How many boys have I mentioned?

FREE TANTRA DVD. Everything you ever wanted to know about tantra but were afraid to ask. Watch “Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets: A Loving Guide to Sexual Ecstasy” and “Tantric Sexual Massage for Lovers: New Heights of Orgasmic Pleasure” by Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson. They’re New Yorkers. So, I recently caught up with them on the streets of Manhattan and asked them about their new book Tantra for Erotic Empowerment: The Key to Enriching Your Sexual Life. (Pssst! Low quality videos ending soon. Thanks to the lovely folks at Current, I’ve got a brand new Flipcam.)

Answer this question to get their tantra videos: Mark and Patricia talk about sex and pleasure. How old was I when I lost my virginity?

There you go, kiddies. Submit your answers before 11:59pm on Thursday, April 10. Giveaway recipients will be announced Friday morning. And, again, THANK YOU for all the support.

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Photo credit: Pole dancing image appears online at www.healthylivingnyc.com book covers appear on Amazon.com.

Technorati Tags: , Amber Rhea, Boinkology, Britney Spears, Current TV, gifts, giveaways, In the Flesh Erotic Reading Series, Lust in Translation, Mark Michaels, orgasms, Pamela Druckerman, Patricia Johnson, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Sex 2.0, Suzanne Portnoy, tantra, The Not So Invisible Woman