Comments on: What’s Your Love Language?

By: Jaison Williams

Jaison Williams — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 10:47:34 +0000

I will say that Primary Love Language is probably Quality Time.

By: funkybrownchick

funkybrownchick — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:18:58 +0000

Yeah 100% is much too much.

By: ErrorBoy

ErrorBoy — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 17:08:03 +0000

I guess I’m more of a Pareto lover. Give 80% of my heart, expend 20% of the effort. IMHO giving 100% means losing yourself. I’ve come a long way, used to give 20%, expecting 80 in return. Most people aren’t worth 80.

By: funkybrownchick

funkybrownchick — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 11:44:48 +0000

@ Aka “Paul”: You’re great. :)

@ sexpot donna: Oooooh, good point! “Being with a different love language has made me a more tolerant and less self-serving person.” This isn’t completely related but … a while ago, I dated a string of really shy guys. I’m soooo not a shy person, so it kind of helped me understand that mindset better.

@ lamesabassman: Napa Valley. Pretty!

@ Rachel Kramer Bussel: I hadn’t heard of Undefended Love until you mentioned it; gotta read that sometime. By the way, I *totally* fall hard too. But, here’s the weird thing … when it’s over, I jump off the train fast and move on. And, I know what you mean about making room and time for relationships *AND* the stuff about New York. By the way, I *LOVE* that first story in Dirty Girls!! It was even better read aloud!! :)

@ Christopher: Oooh, how I’ve often wondered that myself. If New York is the problem, maybe leaving the city is the answer. For better or worse, I’ve decided to stick it out. I’m not done with this place … yet. ;)

By: Christopher

Christopher — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:21:44 +0000

FBC, maybe a change of venue would suit you. Say, Toronto, perhaps…

Rachel B., you make a good point about the importance and intensity of friendships. I think sometimes you have more than one soul mate, and they’re not necessarily restricted to the person you’re in a romantic relationship with, as several of my friends would attest to.

By: Rachel Kramer Bussel

Rachel Kramer Bussel — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 19:45:54 +0000

I have been hearing about this book for a while and do want to read it. Another one that was recommended by my Seal editor Brooke Warner is Undefended Love, which I started and looks really interesting. So I don’t know the precise language for what kind of lover I am, but definitely intense, loyal, and passionate. When I fall, I fall so hard it’s not even funny and, like you, I’m kindof over meaningless sex (except for those occasional can’t-help-it moments).

What I think is also hard is that that’s the kind of friend I (hope I) am too, and sometimes I wonder if I have room in my life for “the love of my life” because I have so many other people I truly care about and want to be there for. We shall see though, FBC. Sometimes people say things like “it’s men in New York,” but I don’t know if it’s that, or just New York itself.

By: lamesabassman......

lamesabassman...... — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:32:31 +0000

my love language is …. white roses….. Dom and some strawberries….. the beach
early in the morn or late at night….. candle lite dinners….. weekends at Napa
Valley……. when two turns to one…. all night long……and waking in the morning,
looking into each other’s eyes…..

lamesabassman….. and I speak this language fluently…….. and often.

By: sexpot donna

sexpot donna — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:38:00 +0000

According to the book (and yes, my husband and I are indeed one of your couple friends who swear by it), I am “quality time” and he is “acts of service”. Even though we speak different love languages, we are able to pay attention to each other’s needs and have been able to make the relationship work. And being with a different love language has made me a more tolerant and less self-serving person.

By: Aka "Paul"

Aka "Paul" — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:27:56 +0000

“What kind of lover am I? I’m committed, sensual, intense, faithful, jealous, genuine and passionate.”

So, you’re a REAL lover (and a fighter, which every real lover also is).

My love language is *silent*. When I speak, I tend to keep it “professional” and stick to non-sexual topics. Only with my eyes and skin can I truly speak the language of love… and I wouldn’t change a thing.